Why do I only get turned on when I am being hit?

I've been into BDSM the entirety of my adult life, while its not something that I practice much at all really. My husband isn't into it which is fine because sometimes he will be a little more rough and dominant in the bedroom. However the reoccurring trend is that I only get wet (aka aroused) when I am hit, slapped, choked etc.
Why do I only get turned on when I am being hit?
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • Hi Anon asker,

    that is fairly common and there are a number of various reasons.

    couple of links below cover it in more detail, both myself and another pink put in a good write up on the link and I’ve done others as well.

    short version is our brains are wired to like getting high on chemicals released under certain circumstances.

    Pleasure
    Pain
    Fear

    predominantly these are Endorphins and are opiates / candy for the brain, which gets a hit / buzz from them.

    the brain also pulls up things it’s experienced in the past and knows these will give it a high,

    Suggestion and Anticipation also come in to play, often it’s not always the actual pain, it’s the anticipation and suggestion of the pain.

    for example telling you are going to be bent over and a paddle used on your ass when you get home, will likely turn you on, then being pushed over and the sound of a paddle swishing through the air and hitting table next to you with a loud slap, all build it up.
    It’s a kink and you need the emotional input of those endorphins to tell your body to get aroused, girls will orgasm from being spanked or even the suggestion of it due to anticipating the feeling.

    Does receiving pain give you pleasure?
    https://medium.com/spnkd/altered-states-of-consciousness-in-bdsm-dc1399631fa

Most Helpful Guy

  • Do you really want to psychoanalyze this? If you do, there are many books on the subject and they'll likely point you backwards in time to something in your childhood, or some form of dominance/authority thing. Or. you could simply accept that you like your sex to be rough and you like to feel submissive and not in control during sex. You also like an element of danger and pain. Why? Because you like it, and maybe you can delve into your past and figure out why.

Most Helpful Girls

  • i understand, even though i do get turned on without being hit, i became interested in bdsm when i was about 17, i literally dont enjoy anything else as much as this to be honest. i definitely feel like being a masochist is more fun than being the sadist :D

    • Everyone has little kinks n triggers that work better than others

  • Certain things like spanking can be a turn on and a rush. Also dominance can be as well. Just depends on what floats your boat

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 14
  • Clearly that's what your into

    • No shit

  • have you considered bringing in a 'bull' for the rough stuff occasionally?

  • Are you in therapy? Taking medication?

    • Have been. Am currently.

  • Clearly physical abuse... Turns you on... Set your. Limits and enjoy

  • You can ask why people like feet, or to be sexually denied. What matters is your ability to satiate it.

    I'm sure you and your husband can find a middle ground.

  • Because if it's done right it's fucking hot af

    • Yep very much so.

    • @turntout4klout I thinks it very hot when done right I also love BDSM, biting, choking scratching too

  • How hard do you want to be punched in the face

    • I don't want to be hit with a closed fist, open handed is good though. Hard enough to feel it the next day.

    • That’s awesome interesting

    • You must be tough

    • Show All
  • Unless you've had some sort of traumatic experience, that's just the way your sexuality naturally developed 🤷‍♂️

    • Who hasn't had some sort of traumatic experience at some point?

    • I'm sure there are plenty, but I didn't mean any traumatic experience, I meant a traumatic experience that related to bring hit.

    • Being hit*

    • Show All
  • That's very common, just enjoy it nothing wrong with that. It's actually hot as fuck

  • i would guess mental retardation

    • I assure you that I am mentally Mompetent

    • *Competent

  • Some of us are just wired that way were we are only very aroused when we engage in the kinks that we are into. Talk to him about it and you likely can work out a solution to help you become turn on more often and have him get more comfortable with the dynamic

    • We have he's not into it, and that is okay

    • Good for you for respecting his boundaries. It does suck though when a partners boundaries interfere with your arousal though

    • it's not his fault

  • It seems like you are becoming more and more of a masochist luv, nothing bad in that but know your threshold of pain otherwise it can hurt

    • I’ve been a masochist since I was 15, or I guess that’s when I realized it.

    • It's good you recognise what you are luv, but remember your boundaries cause you don't know when the pain becomes less pleasurable and more torture.

    • My husband has no desire to hurt me so it’s all good

  • I'm not sure i saw that episode when Batman bitch slaps Robin?

  • You're sexually tensing up too much. The hits shock your nervous system and allow your mind to let go into a more primal state.

    I'd destress and meditate instead. Sleeping more works.

    You don't enjoy becoming aroused, basically. Is there any shame or emotional inhibitions?

    • I enjoy being aroused, it just only happens in those kinds of situations. It's a mental thing.

    • You tense up around the idea of being aroused, because your mind is used to it and tries to "fight the process" to gain more pleasure from it. - Try focusing more on breathing and letting it happen on its own. - Don't control the process so much. - Find ways to relieve daily stimulation, stress, problem-solving, and any fighting in your life. - Be mindful and slow down during the day.

    • I do that, It's pretty much been this way for the past 4 years and nothing has changed so it's my new normal. At this point not being able to get aroused bothers my husband more than it does me, Im used to it.

    • Show All
  • Nope , you're not in the minority either. My friends with benefits is deep into BDSM.