I notice on here that many guys will act quickly to call a woman “prostitute” or “golddigger” simply because she wants to be courted, taken out to fancy dinners, before having sex.
Obviously there are women who hook up even with men who disrespect them and hit them. So saying that there are women who have sex without expecting anything in return isn’t a valid argument.
To me, a man who chooses the “freeway” shows that he doesn’t value me enough to care to impress me. That in itself is a turnoff whether I am looking for something serious or not.
Again, Why is it wrong for women to expect to be treated generously before hooking up, but not for men to expect sex for nothing?
Why do many guys think they are entitled to effortless sex from women?
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What Girls & Guys Said
33 186Because they feel life is easier for you naturally so you owe it to them. Many lack perspective and can't imagine someone having different priorities. They think you should want casual hookups and be grateful for them. Since they don't want someone who loves and cherishes them they can't imagine the perspective of those who do.
I'd argue that most men want someone to love and cherish them. I know I do. Many men can feel embarrassed about that though, again I am guilty of this. It's common since we tend to shame boys for being emotional or sensitive. Beyond that, people of both genders seek casual relationships all the time, they've become rather common. As a result sex holds little value, and with looks falling off after 35 for most women, it seems silly to spoil some woman you barely know, if you're worth it in his eyes the he'll probably treat you well, make yourself worth tbe effort and it will happen. Also, you said guys think they're owed sex, but the girl literally said she thinks she is owed a free meal just to be given a chance at sex. It's like if the lottery gave 100 dollar max prizes instead of 1 million but kept the odds and ticket price the same. Some idiots would still hit it, some would play for fun, but most would see that it's overpriced with such low prizes that it's pointless.
@devilman666 hypothetical example: say 2/10 girls is promiscuous in their teen years, they get all the attention from guys who soon leave but there is always another waiting. The other 8 see this and try to find a guy but one might talk to them for a day before switching to the one that is guaranteed to put out. Some of those girls decide they'd rather put out than be ignored for ever so in their early twenties they switch to the party girl ways. The rest hold out hope that someone will like them until someone either tricks them into thinking they like them, they find a relationship, or they get a vibrator and give up. Meanwhile, they are getting older and the chance of ever getting a family diminishing, and they spent all their life waiting for something that wasn't going to happen because they were told guys don't love sluts, and all those guys keep using the slut excuse as a reason they don't want something that is theirs and theirs alone.. how does anyone get anything they want?
Because a lot of men are dickheads.
I agree. And stupid too. Thinking that expecting good-quality courtship equates to prostitution smh.
Treated generously... in my opinion, if you act exactly like what the guy considers to be a ‘great catch’ he will treat you ‘generously’. Different guys have different ideas about what a great catch is.
It’s all the flip side of how a woman could be EASY with a ‘bad boy’ but be a hard to get nun with the guy who is respectful & seriously interested in deep long term — even tho she finds them both attractive.
I actually feel like I know too much about how the world works & wish I could un know some things.
Life experience, and common knowledge that people seem to forget.
My question is this. Why do guys think they're entitled to women and why do they get mad that women have high standards? Women, especially attractive women, have plenty of options to choose from. If there are millions of chivalrous guys who will treat her better and take care of her, why should she settle for a guy who thinks he's entitled to her and who won't do shit?
Because those guys are used to dealing with the women who did not have high standards. Just like if a guy was eating at Burger King 3x a day and one day the cashier says, ‘that will be $40 for your steak, sir”... he’s gonna flip.
That makes more sense. Some girl on here went off on me and started attacking me simply because I said that I wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone who couldn't give me the lifestyle I am used to anymore or have sex with me anymore. She said that I am a golddigger and a prostitute. Why?
I'll answer your question with a question. Why do you think you deserve to be valued so highly? Between prostitutes, porn and casual relationships, one can easily stay sexually satisfied. So saying you bring sex to the table is pointless, you want it as much as he does and he can get the same thing elsewhere easier. Make your personality better, offer him a great home life or a great personality to love, hobbies to enjoy with him, learn things to interest him. For me personally, I am a 22 year old demisexual virgin. Demisexual means that I don't have sexual attraction to others unless I have an intimate romantic connection with them first. As a result I've never cared that much for sex obviously, I hold it in high value but I don't seek it because it doesn't hold value to me unless it's with someone special. I don't see a point in courting worthless women so that I can get some worthless sex, that's the same as getting a prostitute.
Also, gold diggers are usually women who expects money and gifts simply because of her vagina, and gets angry when she isn't given said things.
If sex and a hot body are all you bring to the relationship and his life, neither of you will be satisfied and it will end fast. Remember the wall hits you when you're in your 30s, so lock down a man before then, once the wall hits and you lose that body then you better hope you're not just some cranky bitch with a shit personality, if that happens then you'll probably be alone for a long time, getting pump and dumped by the only guys who will fuck you.
roasted
@Dzokson00 I can't tell if you are a man today.
ima boy, im 17
@Dzokson00 I think it was pink.
Most men that pressure women into having sex are only after just that. They don't care about you. Just catching a nut. While they're talking to you they're carrying on 10 other conversations with other chicks at the same time.
Do you believe in courtship?
@babylips14 If your refering to going on dates and stuff like that. Yes. I'm a firm believer in it. While it might be nice to have a fling here and a fling there. I seek companionship, someone to grow old with. Maybe start a family. Its hard though. No one wants to put the effort into relationships anymore. They just wanna screw and be over with it.
Do you value him enough to care to impress him?
If you are dating then there needs to be equal effort from both sides.
If you are just in for sex, then why do you want to go out to dinner, it just doesn't make sense to me.
Maybe the man would like to be courted in some way for once?
Sex isn't just for a man, women also like/want sex just not as much. So why do I have to buy you shit before we have sex, when it's mutually beneficial? But you don't have to do anything?
It's a very selfish entitled attitude to have, which is why men get mad. They want sex, but they have to pay a bunch of money and just through a bunch of hoops just for the possibility of sex. If women had to do this they would get tired of it as well.
Say you are horny, you want to get laid, but you don't want a boyfriend. But everyman you approach wants you to spend 60-100 dollars on them and still won't let you fuck them after... how would you feel?
The primary objective of sex is to have fun. However, women with self-respect aren't going to share that experience with just anyone who crosses her path knowing that she has plenty of options. Especially if she's hot. If there are guys who are willing to put in the effort to be with her, why should she settle for a guy who thinks he's entitled to it and won't do anything for her? This is a real life economic problem.
If she have plenty of options then why is she alone for such a long time?
@Berethor Who says she is?
Women today dont realize just how powerful pussy is over men ESPECIALLY when its unexplored pussy. Men also won't get attatched to u as much if u give them the pussy without effort. Its easier on them emotionally, they got to explore your unexplored pussy and bust a nut. And save they. Money. Its a purely win win for men and a completely lost for women. MEN TODAY TRY TO CON WOMEN OUT OF THEY PUSSY AND a lot OF WOMEN ARE FALLING FOR IT TRYING TO GET BROWNIE POINTS, RINGS, AND PROVING THEY CAN BE THE MAN TOO. What use to be the cheapest women now look like the most expensive, escorts, and strippers. Because the average woman is now free pussy😂😂😂😂😂 its sad to see how feminist are ruining it for women.
That is a really great question.
This is just another reason I hate "dating".
I never needed to be taken out to fancy dinners.
A person's time is of more value to me.
Are most Aussie women like this? If yes, I wanna move there 😊
Some are and some aren't. My favorite dates are picnic dates because there's no distractions and no waiters interrupting your conversation. Went on a picnic date with my husband minus the kids recently and it was lovely.
Having high standards is equally as important. This isn’t why guys think they’re entitled. Women make it “too easy” for them.
But you can still have high standards without the high cost.
That's the thing. People have different lifestyle preferences. I'll admit that I have high standards and expensive tastes. For that reason, I prefer someone who is on the same level as me. Not that there's anything wrong with not expecting fancy dinners or even a date, but some people just prefer a different style of living. It just pisses me off that some guys have the audacity to say that women shouldn't expect to be courted in the first place regardless of how costly the dates might be. They think that women should just give it up for free otherwise they're "prostitutes" or "golddiggers". To them, expecting to be courted is equivalent to selling sex. Yet, they slut shame and degrade women who give it up too easily. Do you see the problem here?
And my opinion is that dates don’t have to be exspensive. We have a difference of opinion that’s all.
Being "courted" is different then demanding "fancy dinners" and being "treated generously" or "playing hard to get". If she wants to be courted, awesome. I am a gentleman and frankly, at my age, Sex is about 3rd or 4th on the list and not overly important. If she is playing "hard to get", that is just bullshit games that I refuse to play. If she needs "fancy dinners or needs to be treated "GENEROUSLY" then she is a gold-digging whore and needs to go fuck herself.
Well, you can't blame women for wanting to be taken to a fancy restaurant instead of a McDonald's. Especially if there are millions of guys who would treat her a lot better. There are plenty of women who wouldn't care, but those with high standards do. And there's nothing wrong with wanting someone who can give you the lifestyle you want to have.
Then she can go looking the 'millions' of guys who are willing to pay for her pussy.
Well getting paid for sex the a definition of a prostitute, so they have a point. Being a gold digger to some degree seems to be an common trait among women. Yes you can talk about how having a man pay for you makes you feels more 'valued', especially when it's comes to one-night stand, but the guys still have a point, also what the problem to admit being an gold digger? also when you say that men who don't pay "expect sex for nothing", it's imply that you don't enjoy the sex as much, if at all.
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GoldDigger
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GoldDigger
She isn't talking about getting paid! She's talking about making her feel like you actually care. From what I gather you don't even need to take her out. Cook her something, or want her fav show with her. It's a gesture not a payment!!! I'm happy be to corrected on this by any lady's.
Taking her out to fancy dinners don't sounds like cooking her something at home.
She wasn't saying it as a pre-payment. She was saying it as a gesture that you still love her and care enough to take her out. So cooking some thing for her would fulfil that gesture.
Yeah kiingh is right. If he just takes me on a walk in a park (which is all free to do where I live) and talks to me and makes me feel like he actually cares about me that's something I want. I count that as courting. If he says "let's cook together at my house" that's a date to me and that's courting. It doesn't have to cost money. However, if he takes me to dinner, during the beginning of the relationship I feel like he pays if he's interested. I text back quickly and I show my interest. I'd cook for him and things like that to show my attraction. I just think if you're taking me on a date then you're not interested in my if you didn't pay. I'll pay my half, but then I'm assuming there will be no more dates.
If the guy is not interested he would not be with you at all, it's has nothing to do with if he pays for you, and maybe it's you who is not interested in him, if you are not willing to pay, not even for yourself. Also there is the fact that many guys pay only because they feel that they "have too". Also when a guy barely knows the girl, he don't really know how interested he in her, and it's one of the main points of dating, so why should a guy pay for a girl, especially a girl that he is barely knows? it's fucked up for both sides, the girl would likely feel that he have to give him sex in return, and the guy is paying for a girl who he might not meet again anyway, and for a girl who might be with him only because his is paying for her. Why the only things that "attract" you to a guy is him paying? also nowadays most girls have jobs, so it's not justified anymore.
Interesting point berethor
Golddiggers and prostitutes only date men for the SOLE purpose of extracting money. pros·ti·tute ˈprästəˌt (y) o͞ot/Submit noun 1. a person, in particular a woman, who engages in sexual activity for payment. a person whose romantic pursuit of, relationship with, or marriage to a wealthy person is primarily or solely motivated by a desire for money Wanting guys to show appreciation by doing things that require money is not golddigging. It's called having high standards. Maybe perhaps you should admit that you're a freeloader. What's the problem with admitting that you're an entitled freeloader?
@VonDamme "men who don't pay "expect sex for nothing", it's imply that you don't enjoy the sex as much, if at all.' I enjoy sex, but only from men who deserve it. Not guys who think they're entitled to freeloading. Why should I settle for a guy who doesn't show much appreciation when there are hundreds of millions of guys who do?
"Sole" is something that you added, the definition is "engages in sexual activity for payment".
I didn't add it. Look it up yourself.
www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gold%20digger
I see, but still everything is about money, if a guy 'deserve it' depends on his payment, and how much 'appreciation' he shows is always in form of payment, to you.
I don't think everything should be about money. I'm just saying that guys should be willing to put in the effort to win a woman over. I know I would do it if I were a guy. If guys are willing to spend $100 on things they value such as sneakers, a new videogame, or a new tattoo, why can't he take a woman out on a date? If you're broke, that's understandable, but you should at least show her that she's worth it.
You I would do it if you were a guy? but you can totally do it as a girl as well.
The courtship is a guy thing. The receptiveness is a girl thing. As a guy I would not expect a girl to spend money on me or take care of me.
Being courted is one thing , demanding to be taken to fancy dinners is another ! The Economy sucks and a lot of Millenials are broke !
Sex is more about doing it whenever you are comfortable doing it with a person because you love them or because you feel like doing it for fun. If you need the need to feel valued as a person that is fine but to expect fancy things before putting out Is not , men have feelings too. Sex shouldn’t be treated as something that is bought.
Well said
You’re every broke guy’s dream. If you’re satisfied with a guy who is broke and who won’t put in the effort to get what he wants from you, that’s your problem. But don’t bash women who aren’t l, who have self-worth, and who expect to be treated with respect. Wanting a guy to put in the effort to get sex from you is not selling it. It’s called having dignity and respect. Not being “easy”. Guys who want to get laid with the smallest amount of effort possible don’t have much feelings for the woman to begin with.
You didn’t really get what I said and are missing the point entirely. I said it’s ok to wanna be valued but to not expect fancy things before putting out because that’s being a gold digger. I also have standards because to be my man or girl they need a degree and a job. I always pay for myself in the beginning of dating to show my independence and so I don’t owe anything anyone anything. It’s something my mom told me , just because some men buy you dinner they expect you to put out... shit.
As a traditional gal, I expect to be courted before even before putting out. Golddigging is having sex ONLY for the money. Not me. If I'm dating or planning on having sex with someone is because my primary objective is to have fun or get into a relationship. Not to extract money from them. However a man who spends money on a woman shows that he values her worth enough knowing that guys spend money on things they want and value.
The way you worded your question made you sound like a gold digger , which is why I differentiates between women who feel the need to feel valued and gold diggers. Still the economy is changing and culture is changing as well , and wanting someone to spend crazy amounts of money makes you sound like a brat. It would be better worded to ask if men still value chivalry and making an effort to court a women rather than even bothering to mention money. No man wants to be used for money , that’s kind of a red flag.
I'm not saying that I disagree with you. However, when it comes to lifestyle, women and even men have different tastes and standards. Some women would be happy to be taken out to McDonald's on a first date. Not me. Not that there's anything wrong with that or not caring about someone's financial status, however I personally prefer someone who is financially secure enough to take me to a restaurant I want to go to. Someone who shows me that I am worth the his time, money, and effort. Golddigiging is dating men for the sole money of extracting money from them. However, that's not my objective. If anything, I'll admit that I have expensive tastes and prefer a guy who is on the same level. I think a lot of guys on here have a sense of entitlement and think that women are supposed to give up their time, effort, and bodies for free without expecting anything in return.
I’ve never done McDonald’s as a first date. I usually do bars or coffee. Right now I don’t want to get Married so the standards for a bf/gf are lower than for husband or wife atm. For marriage I want a good credit score and a decent career and demand they be my equal.
I also want a woman who could be my equal career wise and financially, but why is sex considered a favor from the woman too the man, why do I have to prove my worth too you by paying for expensive dinners and dates and gifts, why don't you buy me dinner, why don't we treat each other as equals and split the check, how about you buy me a nice watch and and I'll get you a beautiful necklace and afterwords we have sex because we love each other and both want it not because I picked up the check at the hibachi place. That's what seems right to me.
You probably didn't intend to do this but you're question sounds exactly like that of a prostiture. You are asking 2hy guys want to have s3x w/o putting out a certain amount of money. I have nothing against prostitutes but have issues with hypocrisy.
The effort I put forth in having sex with a lover is to make her get at least the same amount of physical pleasure as a I do when having sex,
Whether I take her to dinner or Paris is a completely different question.
Yup this chick is literally a prostitute
The media, not that anyone will read this or realize what a role media plays.
But if you do see this: think about it, are women ever not sexualized in media, are men, especially main characters ever denied the admiration of the female characters?
A lot of today's society can be traced back to the media, and yet we let it run rampant and mold more minds to it's values.
I fear to think where it will stop.
What do people mean with “sex for something in return” though? I’m not giving sex for something, I have sex when I want to with who I want to, because I want to?
Exactly
It’s called self-respect. Not giving it up for nothing. If a man wants a prized possession, he needs to work for it. Otherwise, you’re going to be percevived as worthless and “easy”. Have you heard of the saying “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
Except us women have needs to; I respect myself enough to have sex when I want. It’s kind of low of you to think that less of men; like all they want is sex and nothing more. Dating is not a market, you don’t put yourself up and say “I’ll give you sex if you give me this”. And if it’s a market it’s a mutual one. Reading this, it feels like you’re grown up in those parts of the us where you’re all still about 100 years behind everyone else. It’s really sad that you think of sex as a “priced possession”, something you’re giving up. I feel like you’re one of those women who will end up using sex as a weapon as they get married.
Honey, I'm not attacking you, but the reality is that in life, dating is a transaction. I'm not going to put in the effort to make someone happy if they're not putting in the effort to make me happy. It goes both ways. I don't want to say that every guy is looking for sex and nothing more, but a lot of guys do. Thank God that not every guy is. I would never use sex as a weapon. However, if they're not going to satisfy my needs, why should I satisfy theirs? If I want to be shown appreciation, why do I have to settle for guys who don't when there are millions of guys all over the world who would? Does this make sense?
This is a sick question. Guys, if you are with a woman who thinks you have to "earn"... that's right, "earn," physical intimacy with her, you are with a narcissist. Women are not better then you. You should be with someone who wants to have sex with you for you and because they are physically and emotionally attracted to you and doesn't see it as something you have to "earn" with her. Just... wow! She should be passionate about you and desiring you as well or else you have certainly not found the right woman. It should be mutual, beautiful, and not something you have to jump over hoops for. Who would want to be with someone who treats you like some inferior being who has to "earn" her in any way whatsoever? Talk about manipulative!
I know. But yeah. He has no option. He loves her madly. What would you then do in his case. Choose someone else just because it is so holy and have a boring life with someone you do not love?
Nah, I'd just work hard and have the success I planned on. Women will throw themselves at a man that has money and success. Either way, I'd chase to a point, if it's not leading any where within a reasonable amount of time, I'm done. I agree, if she needs you to earn her and her respect. It should be a two way street. She needs to prove her worth.
@Douma Even if I had to be alone for a time, I'm not going to date or consider a romantic future with someone who thinks I have to "earn" sex with her. She's sick and not worth my time. Plenty of others who don't have such a warped view of sex.
If there are millions of real chivalrous men willing to put in the effort to be with her, why should she settle for a guy who thinks he's entitled to it and won't do anything for her? This is a real life economic problem. Why invest in a poor quality product that isn't going to generate much revenue for you when you have millions of other good-quality products that are going to reward your investments? And my question to entitled, men who think that women should given them sex without expecting effort is "What makes you so special that she should settle for you?"
What make them so special if they paying for a pussy like other 'millions' of suckers?
Guys call label the girls that want that on the first date not if they won't have sex with them it's simple why spend money on a person you're not going to invest in or who won't invest in you? I'll only court a women that I know that I've spent time getting to know and as for the sex side of things it'll happen when they're ready but I will not court a girl that I don't have a connection with that doesn't take an interest in me and simply what a good date in exchange for a fuck idc if girls have easier access to sex in my opinion if it means dodging bullets like that fuck I'll wait years
*wants, I swear my phone changing words is becoming a real problem😂
I don't expect girls to put out easily at all.
But from experience I'll say that for everyone one girl who expects to be courted, there is another who will gladly spread her legs effortlessly :) So I'd rather go for the second!
Here is the answer. Feminism. That’s right. The fact is you can’t be expected to be treated as an equal and expect special treatment. It’s hypocrisy. Also, the traditional role for men that women expect to keep up has never changed. However, the traditional role of women that what a man expects from a woman has changed. The reasons men were chivalrous pre the 60 era was because men had roles. Men were the protectors, had survival instincts to take care of a family. Women were nurturers and took care of the house and kids. Men worked and took care of things around the house that need fixing and did work outside. Women cooked, did laundry, all the cores in the house. Now feminism has made what women used to do as being sexist. It was never sexist. it was the fact men had roles and women had roles and complimented each other. Now women don’t want to do anything and expect for men to have the same traditional roles as they did back pre 60 era. Does that sound fair to you?
Good thing I read the rest of it before quickly getting annoyed for assuming that another man was just pulling a feminism complaint card. Ladies, read it. It’s a very valid point.