Why do men fantasise about hurting women?

Why do some men like choking their partners and doing other violent things during sex? It kind of scares me.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Many men and women fantasize (and practice) being on the giving AND/OR receiving end of pain, humiliation, bondage, and sexual dominance. But not everyone does and that includes a majority of men and a majority of women. It’s often shown in porn because people who watch porn need more and more stimulating material to get off as they become desensitized to more “normal” sex.

    You’re perfectly right to feel as you do and there are plenty of men who will want exactly what you want, who will find it objectionable to slap or choke you, and who will focus on passion and love when they have sex.

    Obviously not everyone is like that. I recommend checking out the following link. It was written by a female user here at GAG a few years ago. It’s well-written. It made me understand that having so-called rape fantasies—which are pretty common for women—has nothing to do with wanting to be raped in real life. It might give you some insight into the rough sex mindset.

    Reasons Why Some Women Have Rape Fantasies ↗

  • To be fair, I’ve dated a couple girls who wanted all that done to them, and it was me who felt uncomfortable with it, haha. To be honest, I think I’ve heard more women express a desire for rough sex than men. I’ve even heard of girls being into rape fantasies. Pretty out there if you ask me, but I don’t tell anyone else how to party, lmao.

    I would tell you to not be scared though, I think there’s just such a thing as sexual compatibility. There’s a girl out there for the guys who want to do all that stuff, it’s just not you. There are people out there for folks like us who AREN’T looking to do that stuff. If someone you’re sleeping with says they’re into that, then you’re just not a match. No big deal. I think most guys would take ‘no’ for an answer. I don’t think they’d just continue trying to choke you out, haha. And if they did... well, that’s a much bigger issue, but I feel like that’s an unlikely scenario.

Most Helpful Girl

  • a lot of the time is a consensual kink. Some women want to be choked and hurt in a sexual way.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Why do women fantasize about being hurt by men?

    I know you’re only a child right now. But I’ve seen more posts on here than I can even count from women saying they like being hit / choked / abused. Literally thousands of posts.

    Most women are masochistic to a degree.

  • Well any example you can find of men doing that, there are examples of women doing it as well.
    Spanking, choking, restraining, etc, aren't about hurting your partner. Its often about control. There can be pain, but you're not trying to hurt them beyond what they enjoy.

  • Nice generalization. Let me ask you this,
    Why do women fantasize about being raped?

    • I don’t

    • I don't either.

  • Why do men fantasise about hurting women?Why do men fantasise about hurting women?
  • I don't think they do

  • A lot of it is inspired by what they see in porn. I have never seen the appeal personally.

  • Nope i don't like that, how can someone hurts his wife whp became a part of him and god made a woman so she makes a man happy, to be his other half, his love and care giver and bring him babies...

    A man will protect his wife, warm her, take care of her ans feed her and love only forever but yes he can hurt her with some kisses ans bites because she's his cake 😍
    😄

  • That's weird. I've never had any of those neither has anyone I known told me about such a thing.

  • Because all girls say they have a rape fantasy...

    • Lol some guy's seriously believe it

  • Because some women have earned it?

  • because those who are into BDSM like it ;)

  • maybe it's what they see in porn

  • In my experience women seem to want that sort of thing at least as much as men do.

  • Honestly this is more a you thing than an us thing. Men end up learning that a lot (most) women enjoy this type of thing to some degree. Because of that some men then make the assumption that testing the waters with a new partner is a good idea.

    Very few men are actually sadists. Sure they exist, there even exists the healthy kind of sadist. But a definite minority.

  • You're under 18, you have yet grow and see why WOMEN themselves love it.

    • Why would they love it? I can’t imagine I would ever love anything like that.

    • like i said, you still young :)

    • It's true, when I was younger I didn't understand it. Now I do love it when guys treat me like that.

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