Why Do Men Hate Giving Oral To Women?

Every boyfriend I've had has never ever wanted to give oral. To them, it either seems gross or a chore so I've stopped wanting to ask a partner. They still expect oral. I'll do it, but I find my heart isn't fully feeling it by not also being reciprocated. I lost my virginity when I was 19 to a guy I dated for 3 years, and he never gave me oral. I just respected it, but it did make me deeply self-conscious. The second guy I dated had no interest, and I'd communicate and express my feelings, and then months went by where he would never want to and then he would suddenly want to give me oral if it meant he got laid. To me, it never seemed like they actually wanted to because they wanted to. I shave and trim the area, shower daily, and I'm healthy. I'm 24 now and I think I've only ever received oral maybe two or three times? I've never been able to enjoy it either because it feels like my partner treats it like a chore, and I'm left feeling self-conscious. Do men genuinely enjoy actually performing this act?
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Superb Opinion

  • Have you ever eaten peas? You probably have. They're one of the first vegetables humanity domesticated, and are full of many nutrients, acting as a good source of protein, especially when meat is scarce. But they're not a very exciting vegetable; you never hear someone saying "Oh boy, I hope we're having peas tonight!". I'm not saying that giving oral to a woman is dull or boring; quite the opposite, if you do it right. But peas are seen, by most people, as a nutritional accessory; something you eat alongside whatever the food you actually WANT is. They'll eat them, sure, but they've never learned to hunger for peas AS peas.

    For a lot of people, many sexual things are like that, with PIV as the be-all end-all of sex, and everything else just a side dish. (Blowjobs are the most common exception to that line of thinking, but for some reason, certain people don't equate going down on a woman to that.) They're missing out, since there's a bunch of physical (and a whole world of psychological) sensations to sex that go beyond that, but they get lazy, physically and morally, and if they won't try to go deeper, well, you can't really force them to.

    Beyond that, there are concerns of competence. A lot of women expect a guy to know what he's doing, sexually and otherwise, and failing to perform will make her think less of him. This is almost certainly more common in fears about women than in actual women, but I've seen it happen with my own eyes (though that wasn't a sexual situation, thankfully). To a lot of guys, the idea is high-risk with relatively low reward if he doesn't know what he's doing, and sexual skills, like any other, need practice.

    It's likely a harder sell as you get older (and your partners presumably get more experienced), but starting out slowly, working with fingers and tongues to learn how your partner likes to be touched, can not only give you a wealth of information to use in your later sexual escapades with them, but help you appreciate pleasuring them for its own sake.

    • @namerofstars How would you feel about giving another girl oral? Would you actually enjoy licking that thing?

    • @Mac-One Another? Other than who?

    • @namerofstars I meant to ask that of asker Anonymous - sorry that I directed it to you in error.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • First point is it is not safe sex so I will want you to pass the tests. I'll restrict this to girlfriends. I don't want chlamydia in my eye as a friend got. Second I will want you to be cleanly shaved or laser'ed. I don't like picking out public from between my teeth.

    My first thought is you been with young guys. I was too eager to get in when I was younger. At the first hint of moisture I was pointing my penis and lining up. So I think that is the problem.

    Being between a girls legs is immensely exciting, so now I love to spend quality time there and it is the best way to view the beauty of the female pudendum. (I am using pudendum because that specifically means the outer genitals whereas pussy might used to mean the vagina or outer or both).

    I just love the heart shape girls have and it is only seen from lying between your legs. I really like it if the girl rubs her soft smooth inside thighs on my ears. Because it feels good and it emphasizes I'm between her legs - spreading them. Whats not to like with this?

    How girls react to being eaten out is the major excitement. Getting a girl all kittenish and swiping her lower lips on my lips is simply highly rewarding. You can clit tease girls too and having her beg me to put my cock in is a buzz.

    So yeah I very much enjoy giving girls oral and doubtless lots of guys will be saying the same to you. You will probably get better out of an older guy than a younger guy for the reasons above. And really I would say to give feedback as you are receiving because we don't know what you are experiencing so a few murmurs or moans helps us.

    Final sex health point. Don't accept oral from a guy with an open cold sore because you can get cold sores on your vulva. Genital herpes in other words - it is not the worse form but not something to shoot for. CDC has stuff about this on their website.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I think you've been unlucky. The only real reason a guy would NEVER do it would seem that he had some kind of religious hangup, or thought it was "dirty" because women are dirty. I have heard this before.

    If someone expects oral sex from me and never wanted to give it, I'd say that was sexually selfish and would say so. It's fine if it's never done between the two of you because neither wants to. But don't expect me to do so unless oral is something I find super exciting to do.

    If it's not. Don't ask.

    • NALL IT SMELLS BAD TO HIM STOP LYING TO THESE GIRLS SHE LIVE WITH HER FUNK WE DON'T

    • @PLAYBOYZAY27 I have no idea what this person smells like, or what her boyfriend's issue is with her vagina. There are all kinds of reasons that people don't do oral. She needs to find out what his is, or find someone who likes her as is...

  • Girl what are you talking about, I don't know if it's just the part of the world you come from or the men you're dating who are more on the immature and bratty side. Men LOVE eating p*ssy. I haven't ever had a partner who didn't love going down on me and the only person I know who isn't comfortable with it is an autistic guy friend who has a lot of sensory issues regarding texture so it's understandable that cunnilingus bothers him, but even he is comfortable with everything else and pretty good in bed.

    • I'm unfortunately the one who doesn't like giving oral for similar sensory issues, I have a very sensitive tongue and throat and have been picky about food textures and struggled with brushing my teeth from a very young age. I definitely brush my teeth now but with food I still have that pickiness.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • i'm definitely like you had guys who find it gross or just don't want to do it... and i'll give the blowjobs because they probably wouldn't want to date if i did't plus i never pushed it either... and i honestly like giving blowjobs so i never really pushed the fact either... the guys who did eat my pussy were generally older guys... that's the way it worked out for me i'm sure other girls had different luck than i did.

    • Definitely sounds like me. Xx

    • ok i'm sorry but i feel better that someone else went through what i have... thank you!

    • I hope one day to connect and have a great relationship with someone who cares enough to know my body and because they want to. That's all I want.

    • Show All
  • Tell these turkeys that they have to give you head first, before they can expect to get it from you. If they won't , then you don't. Take that power back and take control. Who is doing who a favor to begin with? Don't give in to these selfish pricks. Have respect for yourself as a woman, and not as a slave whose job is to please men and get nothing in return. If they won' do it tell them to kiss your ass cheeks! If you can't do this then go break a leg, and don't come running to someone else to help you out.

    Why Do Men Hate Giving Oral To Women?
    • A FAVOR y'all KNOW SOME OF y'all. LEAVE US FUNKY FOR NO REASON AT ALL COOCHIE HOLE BE SO HUGE AND STANKEE MY GUESS IS SHE SMELLS THATS WHY

    • @PLAYBOYZAY27 Well so does your dick breath but no one is saying anything about you, are they?

    • @PLAYBOYZAY27 Bite me!

  • There are plenty of men who live to give a woman oral sex. Sometimes my husband does it without any reciprocation what so ever. Sometimes that's the game we play. If you're not getting what you want sexually, I'd say play the field until you do.

  • That makes no sense to me. I think the sight of a vulva is lovely. It's sexy af. I love the scent if she's clean. It's amazing to explore and to feel the smooth, soft, pliable flesh with my lips, tongue and fingers. I love everything about pussy.

    But the greatest pleasure is giving her pleasure. And her gratitude pays off. 😃

    If all a guy cares about is getting his dick wet but ignores the rest of you, he's a loser.

    I hope you find a lover who knows how to bring you to ecstasy.

    • EVERYONE DONT LOVE THE SCENT DOE YOU EAT BOOTY?

    • AND DAMN WHY HE GOTTA BE A LOSER he's JUST NOT YOU MAN WTF WRONG WITH YOU DUDES YEAH YOU EAT ASS I CAN TELL WOW

  • I for one love it. I've always had an oral fixation though. I remember when I first starting watching porn at a way too young an age (under 10) oral sex was the most exciting parts of the video for me. When I first saw a pretty pink pussy I was transfixed. When I would start kissing girls when I was a teen, I'd immediately think of eating her pussy, and just like Pavlov's dog, I'd salivate. But the truth was I had no clue what I was doing. True, I watched a lot of porn but it wasn't the same as actually doing it.

    When I was 17, one of my sisters (2 years older than me) friends invited me to a club. He introduced to me to his friend Diana a college girl (19 yo) no less and she was talking to me! We danced got drunk and fooled around. Afterwards I was totally expecting to do the deed, but she shocked me by saying that she was a lesbian. She explained that when she got tipsy, she thought I was really cute and wanted to make out with me but that was it. She saw the look of disappointment on my face and she told me bluntly, "I'm not going to touch your cock, but if you want to fool around, come by my house tomorrow."

    The next day I arrive at her house and we drink a bit and kiss a lot and I moved slowly down her body. When I got to my destination and I starting "eating her pussy" the way I thought I knew how, she stopped me and asked bluntly, "You have no clue what you are doing do you?" I felt humiliated and she saw as much. She said, "Listen, if you want, come back everyday for an hour. I have 3 weeks until I return to college. I'll give you a crash course in the art of pleasing a woman with your mouth". She had no idea what she was in for. This was my sexual lottery right here. Not only the opportunity to eat pussy but everyday and be taught as well!!! After the second "session", I was making her cum multiple times using my mouth and hands. Most days she would have to stop me, because I was so lost in my own pleasure and not counting her many orgasms.

    Even with my new found "skills" I realized that every woman is different. I couldn't make some women cum at all. But it takes a lot of practice just like any other skill to master. Young guys are all about their own pleasure and unless you have an oral fixation like me, or you have an emotional connection to the woman that you care about and want to please her in the most intimate way possible, it will be harder, I think to find a young guy that loves to go downtown. Also a lot of guys that lack experience may think that it tastes or smells bad which is not the case at all with proper hygiene.

    My advice is to talk openly about your needs and desires with your partners. Maybe not first date material, but definitely when things get hot and heavy, make sure that he can deliver the "goods" when it comes to oral sex. If he doesn't go down on you the first time you have sex, especially if you gave him a blowjob and it's something you love to do, then in my humble opinion, it's something that he is afraid to do or doesn't like. Move on to the next guy. A woman has so much sexual power. She can find any guy she wants. Might as well find a guy that eats your pussy daily, like it were the foundation of the food pyramid! Don't sweat it. We are not all selfish assholes in the bedroom. I can only imagine the look on your face after you've had your first orgasm through oral sex and then the guy will be like, "I'm not finished yet" and he goes in for round two.

    I hope this helps

    Jason

  • Well he is getting used to the random hair strand in his mouth and all the squirts he gets!

  • Do they?

  • Then don’t give him oral. That’s how I am. If he requests, asks, begs that I do it. He needs to do it first.

    YOU BROUGHT IT UP!! 🫵

    SO YOU GO FIRST!! 🖕

  • I guess there are men who have some reason for avoiding that. But I cannot imagine it being many men. Giving a woman oral is extremely erotic and satisfying. As long as you use normal hygiene, enjoying giving you oral should be something guys love doing often. From what I have seen on here, it seems that in many young couples the gal enjoys giving oral and is satisfied with that without getting it in return. I guess that if she does that and he cums, it is a while before his libido returns to a high state and so that sexual activity is done for a while. I make a point of giving lots of oral before I receive any. Most women can receive many orgasms and remain horny and continue for a long time.

    I think it is great when a young gal enjoys giving oral, but I suspect that he blows his load and the activity is over for that time. They should ensure that he goes down on her before he cums so that both participate in giving.

  • Is the same thing why some women won’t go down on a man. Different strokes for different folks. If he doesn’t wanna go down on you, then don’t go down on him when he asks for one! However, there’s still a lot of men out there would love to pleasure women in those zones. Good luck

  • When I was younger, I was a bit shy to give a woman oral because I felt like I didn't know what I was doing. Then I learned more about it later and enjoyed it.

  • They are selfish if they do not want to return the favor. If they won't go down on u then give them a handjob but no bj... they will figure it out

  • I don't understand why you would blow these morons if they won't reciprocate? You have a lack of self respect in your way.

  • There are lots of men out there obsessed with giving oral. I think you've just been with selfish men

    • I have no idea how many men are obsessed with giving oral, but I guess I am one. I cannot imagine a relationship in which I could not enjoy eating her pussy often.

    • I THINK SHE STINK

  • You just haven't met the right guy, yet. You're clean, groomed and into it. You'll find him.

    I think I speak for most of us. Guys love giving oral. I absolutely love everything about it -- the visuals, taste, her responses. I can't remember the last time I penetrated before she had at least one orgasm orally.

    • NAH DONT SPEAK FOR MOST OF US WOW

    • @PLAYBOYZAY27 Early poll results show that I do:

      Do you enjoy giving oral? ↗

    • @asker, check out the poll in the above response. 94% of guys would be happy to take care of you. You've just had bad luck.

  • I am not submissive so I don't want to do that, yea I also find it gross, I also don't expect it.

  • Ok so I would guess you are picking the wrong guys…. I would give my girlfriend oral 3 times a day if I could. I personally love it.
    Ok now that being said… the girl needs to be clean (you said you shower daily).
    It would be my guess that the guys you are picking are lazy and / or selfish. A caring guy would happily do that for you.


    Hope this helps!

  • I don't know where you're finding these men. All the guys I know love eating women. So do I.

  • Not all men try to avoid servicing a woman orally. In fact, every sexual relationship I've had with women over the past twenty plus years has been an anilingus only arrangement, although she'll often call me for 'after date cleanup service' when she's just been fucked by another guy.

  • Please read and inwardly digest precisely what @daniela1982 has posted.

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