Why do most guys just want sex from a girl?

[Nazgol]

Do they not realize that we're not objects and doing that would vastly hurt us... ?

[MrOracle]

The first part is nature. Women have a mating strategy based on Natural Selection: hypergamy. Hypergamy is women's desire to be with the best man they can get (sexually), so they can have children who will be the most desirable. Those men largely won't be around to raise those children or provide and protect her (unless she's in a harem), so women will seek out a less desirable man, who is more reliable and willing to protect and provide for her, and essentially use him for his resources, without ever being truly committed to him. And today, she can use divorce laws to take his resources away from him. No one is concerned about the men who are destroyed by this.

Men have a different dating strategy: to spread our seed. For all of human history, men would have sex with as many women as they could, the better to ensure he'd have children that survived to reproduce, and to widen the gene pool and increase the overall health of the population.

You can't change men's desire to have sex with lots of women anymore than you can change women's desire to sleep with the most desirable man - and if you aren't pushing for both, then you shouldn't complain about either. Instead, you should accept that that's the reality of the world we're in.

Now that we understand basic nature, let's talk about why guys would "just want sex."

Men used to want relationships just as women did, because relationships were beneficial to both men and women. But 3rd-Wave (Marxist) Feminism actively worked to destroy marriage and thus serious male/female relationships. They did this by training women to withhold all benefits of a relationship from men, and by telling women they could do it all and have it all themselves. This is what you grew up being taught, by every book, magazine, movie, TV show newspaper, etc. And this was successful. Women today are PROUD of their indifference and inability to provide any value to men beyond their vagina, and in fact, when asked what women bring to the table in a relationship, women OVERWHELMINGLY focus on sex, because they know it's all they provide today - everything else, the expect the man to provide.

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Well, guess what? If sex is all women are willing to offer a man, why should a man commit to a relationship? Why shouldn't he just bang as many women and leave them as soon as they become a hassle to him? What does he get in return for all of the many things he's expected to provide, usually without receiving any appreciation for it?

You can be a "modern (feminist, career-focused) woman" if you want to, but if you are, you can't expect to receive any of the benefits of a "traditional woman" in a traditional relationship. "Modern women" get modern outcomes, and modern outcomes include trading sex for a man's money and attention because that's the only thing of value modern women are willing to provide.

If you want traditional outcomes, you have to be a traditional woman. That means you need to pick a quality man, based on his morals, values, and life-goals, rather than if he's hot and rich and popular, and then you need to build a life with him together. If you are choosing top 10% men who are hot and popular, the only thing those men are ever going to give you is some dick. They have no intention of committing to ANY woman, and on the rare occasion they make an exception, it's going to be with a true 10/10 supermodel, actress, singer, etc. If you go for those man, your outcome is ASSURED - yet most women continue to chase those men exclusively, and can't figure out why the outcome is always the same.

[Nazgol]

You are making a lot of invalid assumptions. I'd like to see some references and links, citations. Not general things that come in your head..

[Nazgol]

& just because you have a tendency to write such long answers always doesn't necessarily mean you're right

[Dee_smooth22]

I have something to say about that menu receipt, it looks like that is more han a party for two...

[MrOracle]

@Dee_smooth22 Sure, it's probably for 6 people, but that's not the point - the point is the entitlement of some women (this is a fairly extreme example, sure, but it illustrates the point) and the crazy expectations. I have enough in my account to pay this bill every day for a week, but I have ZERO intention of ever running up such a crazy bill in the first place. Unless you have tens of millions, to spend this kind of money on a meal out - even for 6 - is insanity and incredibly wasteful. I routinely make meals for 6-10 people, and I spend maybe $70-100.

[Dee_smooth22]

Ok, I'm actually working on saving some money. Do you keep this much in your account for a particular reason like saving for something specific, or does it just accumulate as unused earnings?

[MrOracle]

I own a small business, so I need to buy equipment and supplies, and I prefer to pay cash rather than use credit and pay interest. I don't keep nearly that much in my personal account - it's better off in Tesla stock - and there's no way in hell I'm spending $6000+ on dinner anyway, even though I technically could. If I spend $100 on a meal, that's very unusual for me. Then again, I have no interest in trying to impress anyone by taking them to a trendy restaurant in the city. There's a hundred better ways to spend that kind of cash, such as 2 weeks in Hawaii.

[JamesDiaz11]

I'm confused... I thought modern women thought casual sex was "empowering?"

Ok, I digress. Nearly all men will have sex with any woman who is at least average looking, as long as there are no repercussions. We're constantly trying to have sex; so, if a girl lets us, then we will. We don't have to like the girl at all, which is why there used to be a long courtship, and commitment prior to sex.

Any guy can fake it for a couple weeks to get sex; it's incumbent on women to wait long enough to make sure the guy actually likes her... because, again, we are driven to get sex.

[Paulalove98]

Nowadays it seems to be more about that sadly.. which is why im going to church and other events now to meet people since im eiffy how the dating apps most guys have just said their looking for friends with benefits or a hookup and i want a relationship.

[Anonymous]

We have a society where they can get everything else they need on their own. They used to have to get married for all that. Now all they need is the sex.

[MrNameless]

Guys are sexual beings and naturally have higher sex drives then women.

The only issue from this would be if people weren't upfront of their intentions. Like if someone wanted serious relationship only and that other person wants a casual relationship, if the honest communication isn't there from both sides, then its a waste of time for both parties

[MrNameless]

If only it was this easy. But if you like someone romantically, tell them straight up you just want a serious relationship and aren't looking for a casual relationship.

[rtj1211]

Depends on the age of the guy and their emotional make-up. Young guys could do with trying out plenty of girls to get to the point that they want more than just sex.

If a guy's over 30 and he still only wants sex from a girl, that probably suggests he's got some kind of psychological blockage for some reason. That's a bit abnormal to be honest, but it happens.

If the guy's 22 or less, it's very common indeed to mostly want uninvolved sex.

You obviously want sex AND a relationship, so you need to get better at targeting guys who think the same. They exist!

[dustybiker]

It is becoming a more selfish world. Not all men are like this, yet, though.

[Berethor]

Because most girls nowadays don't wait until marriage, and guys are more sexual than girls.

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/why_buy_the_cow_when_you_can_get_the_milk_for_free

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

I wouldn’t want sex from a woman unless it’s a mutual arrangement where we are only hooking up because that’s all we want from each other.


I think most is a giant exaggeration because there are men who do want relationships with a woman or more. I can honestly agree that there are some men who only view women as sexual objects and I would hope they grow out of that toxic mindset.

[WhitneySnow]

I agree with you

[Katebfun]

Because men and women are different. It's literally that easy. Women are the gate keepers of sex, men are the gate keepers of relationships. We both have sex most often for different reasons, men wanna get laid, women want a relationship. Most times. Ot always, we all go through different phases.

[Sevenpointfive]

if the sex is free and there then most guys will say ok.

i personally don't, but i'm not most guys.

[HighValue]

More women participate in hook ups/casual sex than men do. I would say it is more common for women to just want sex and not a relationship. Then by the time she does want a relationship, she ruined her value as a partner and her ability to pair bond because of her having casual sex.

It is significantly more difficult to find a woman interested in an exclusive relationship than it is to find a woman just interested in casual sex.

[Dargil]

Men are validated by sex. It's a form of approval.

[Fireguy17]

In the back of their minds it may be a consideration, but in reality, they just want sex, and can rationalize it so they don't feel like they are hurting you, but are doing you a favor by having sex with you.

[SiberFox]

Because other girls do have sex with them just for sex, it really is that simple. Slut shaming has many purposes.

[ConspiracyTheorist]

That's not true, maybe you are just attracted to the wrong kind of guys... I am a guy and I am recently separated and I could have already hooked up with a couple slutty broads but I'm not looking for just a chick to bang i want a non shallow female that is capable of love.

[FilmGuy93]

Sometimes the guy is just a jerk and doesn't care about hurting her. But most of the time, it's because the woman simply hasn't given us anything to connect with on a more personal level.

I've been on so many dates where the woman I was talking with was lovely company, easy on the eyes, and very polite; but I couldn't tell you the first thing about her because she didn't reveal any of her personality to me.

[Makeushiver]

Because it'a more fun than 2qnting sex from guys

[AsaKyo]

They have nothing else better to do

[Ironic_Method]

Because most of what we want we get elsewhere. The hard part is that even the guys who want more will also want sex, so you'll have to distinguish the two.

[Nazgol]

Elsewhere where?

[Ironic_Method]

Friends, mostly.

[Nazgol]

So you get a relationship from friends?

[Ironic_Method]

Think about what guys want and ask if you fulfill that. If you're going to make a blanket statement about most men, you're going to get a blanket answer.

[Luopio27]

There are girls out there that slso hate commitment and just want sex.


Everyone should just be honist about what they want, so there would be no conflicts of intrest.

[Dee_smooth22]

That don't work, they just ignore you

[Luopio27]

That may be so.

[Jennz6]

Just their raging hormones TESTOSTERONE

[Cubus]

Biology. We are designed to reproduce, that's why we want to have sex