Girls, why do so many of us say that anal sex is mainstream yet so few of my friends admit to trying it?

[Anonymous]

[morimeme1]

Maybe they haven't, it is sorta embarassing because even if you like it and everyone does it you still deep inside know that that place is not meant for that.

[Asker]

Perhaps, but you could say that about oral too. And your mouth is what you also use to kiss friends and relatives and parents.

[morimeme1]

That is more of a mainstream thing than anal I guess.

[PondyPand]

Being mainstream and it being done by all your friends is completely different.

[Asker]

I’d agree to some extent, but I’d also think that most of my friends would be engaging in mainstream acts. Ya know, that it would be more consistent.

[Daniela1982]

Who is "Us" Kimosabe?

[Asker]

The info comes from a survey on this site. The poll said that 84% of girls think that anal sex is mainstream, while only 16% thought it was still taboo. For guys, it was 86% mainstream and 14% taboo. So very consistent. All together, 85% thought is was mainstream and 15% taboo.

[Daniela1982]

Studies show that anal sex can contribute to bowel problems and fecal leakage. Unless you want to be wearing diapers at 50 I would limit anal sex to weekends.

[Daniela1982]

The "Who is Us" was a reference to a joke when the Lone Ranger and Tonto were surrounded by Indians and the Lone Ranger says, looks like this is the end for us Tonto. Tonto smiles and says Who is "Us" Kimosabe?

[Asker]

Are there credible medical references for those studies? I’ve heard those rumors before and believe them to be just that. I’ve never known anyone who’s had any related problems. As you implied though, perhaps if you’re doing it every day or something... still, your butt stretches pretty wide almost everyday anyway so things can and do return to normal. As for the Lone Ranger and Tonto, that’s a little before my time but very funny. Thanks for enlightening!

[Daniela1982]

According to the University of Alabama at Birmingham Dept. of Medicine study and published in the American Journal of Gastroenterology, the practice of anal sex may increase risks for bowel problems, including fecal incontinence and bowel leakage.

[Asker]

Let me first point out that Alabama had laws on the books prohibiting the sale of sex toys until 1999, and also banned anal sex among non-married adults until 2014, when it was ruled unconstitutional. That doesn’t make the research bad, just the environment for it. The research is weak because it doesn’t control for virtually any outside factors; more importantly, it only studied women and men who had incontinence to begin with. So it’s backwards research (no pun intended). It covered 2,070 women ages 20-69 who already had fecal incontinence issues and identified those who had anal intercourse, even if only once up to 50 years beforehand. And the rate of those who did versus didn’t was only 2.5% higher. But what about all the women who never had incontinence issues and had anal sex? That group is huge and unaccounted for in this study. That renders the weak conclusions totally meaningless. Also, it suggests that simply doing Kegal exercises will pretty much solve any issues. Overall, I don’t think this a very powerful argument to support your statement. I believe the risks of STDs or HPV with having unprotected sex of any kind is a much greater concern, and that’s not limited to anal. Young people aren’t stupid and we don’t take everything at face value.

[Daniela1982]

I take it you read the study in the medical journal then?

[Daniela1982]

And you believe everybody on this site where 50% of females are probably guys, who of course have at least a fantasy of having anal sex. Ha Ha, that is funny. Of course the people on this site are researchers so their opinions are to be believed.

[Asker]

I apologize if I came across as disrespectful. That’s not my style. And yes I’m aware of the potential pitfalls of this site but also think it’s pretty easy to spot the pretenders. Part of my perspective comes from my own experience. The problems you site are nothing I’ve ever personally experienced and I’ve never heard of anyone else having them either. And I mostly wear thong underwear too. So I do have a little edge because my mom is an RN, PhD, and a Professor in the Department of Women, Children, and Family Health Sciences at a major University. She’s not doing clinical work anymore but she still teaches and consults. One subject she still teaches to graduate students is research methodology. I grew up with her reading research proposal and papers, and she taught me how to critically think. Sometimes she’d say Kelli, what’s wrong with this logic? And she’s talk through it with me. It was almost like a game. That’s why I can read a report or summary and see flaws. No, I’m not a researcher but I think I’m a good critical reader and thinker. Now, I can’t very well take this to my mom and say, hey what do you think about this research on anal sex! My mom and I have had discussions but she has no idea about my sexual activities. I’m not sure she would approve either. But I don’t think she would disagree with most of my comments and conclusions. Anyway, thanks for engaging. If you’d like to chat more offline feel free to message me. :)

[Daniela1982]

I'm sorry you can't talk to your mom about anything or everything. As a RN she has probably seen and heard just about everything. She probably also knows about the ins and outs ( excuse the pun) of anal sex. What better person to talk to about it! I'd like to hear what a proctologist has to say about it since he would be the one dealing with the anus.

[mistixs]

Maybe your friends aren't just very kinky. Now MY friends? Almost every single one of my friends is into bdsm, but I won't generalize that this reflects everyone in general

[PrincessGrail]

Cause they’re embarrassed

[Asker]

But why would anyone be embarrassed about engaging in something that’s mainstream?

[PrincessGrail]

Still embarrassing. Do you wanna tell the whole world you suck cock?

[Asker]

If a friend asked me, of course I would tell them. Also, I think mainstream things are assumed to happen with a boyfriend or friends with benefits. I wouldn’t be embarrassed to say I engage in that.

[PrincessGrail]

I’m not embarrassed to talk about it with friends, but some girls might be

[Asker]

Right, exactly. I mean I wouldn’t go around publicly saying that I have oral or anal, but with friends it seems like it would be nbd especially if it’s all considered mainstream. But I don’t always find that to be be true, at least not at first.

[PrincessGrail]

I only talk to close friends about that

[Asker]

Me too, but I would never be embarrassed about it

[PrincessGrail]

I’m not either

[Laura519]

It IS a really good question. Maybe it’s because they feel it’s a more personal act. Mainstream for sure, but still harder to talk about. The question is why. I think it’s because it can hurt a lot the first time you do it, and maybe a little the next couple of times before it gets really good. That can be a pretty submissive act at first, and perhaps that’s why some girls may be shy about it. I can say that many of my friends have anal and will talk about it. I’m the less experienced one and less likely to share.

[ElizaPam]

It’s scary.

[Asker]

Why scary? Are you speaking of your personal experience with it?

[lauraasmilee]

Guess they are shy about it

[moonpie89]

I never said it was mainstream. Been there, done that.

[Asker]

Totally understand. Just asking bc i saw a survey that said over 80% of us think it’s mainstream. That’s just not my experience.

[moonpie89]

Have you tried it?

[Asker]

Yes, regularly

[Girlypink89]

They are scared they will be judged.

[Asker]

Poorly? Why?

[Girlypink89]

I am not sure I will not judge for it

[Asker]

I would not want or expect to be judged for having sex.

[Anonymous]

I admit I haven’t tried anal yet but am considering it very soon. Most of my friends have done it and talk about it pretty freely so I haven’t seen any reluctance to admit it. To me, it’s mainstream and talked about in my age group. I’m pretty shy and don’t ask a lot of questions but I think they would share if I did. It’s just easier to ask in this kind of forum or pm.

[Anonymous]

I openly admit to having it once every week or so. It seldom crops up in conversations with my female friends, but I know a few of them indulge in it, too.