Why do some men go to prostitutes while many (if not most don't) ? How are clients of prostitutes different? Do they have a more traumatic past?

[Anonymous]

[0112358]

100 years ago, prostitution use was much higher.

I think what’s changed is expectation. Being able to obtain sex is now viewed as manly. 100 years ago it was accepted your options were marriage or a prostitute. Guys probably felt more manly having sex with one.

So who has sex with prostitutes now?
- I believe the largest category may be unsatisfied married men. Many of these could likely have sex with someone, albeit less attractive, but it’s riskier. They’re paying her to have sex quietly and not call him at home later crying.
- guys who don’t feel invalidated by paying for sex, either due to a cultural background that accepts prostitutes or being in a lifestyle where it’s common (some professions end up this way)
- guys who struggled to get laid and overcame the feeling of “being a loser” who paid for sex.

[Asker]

100 years ago... Any proof of that? Any proof of how men who buy sex are so lonely or unsatisfied? If they're so unsatisfied, divorce is always an option.

[0112358]

Re 100 years ago - there was a solid piece in the book “superfreakonomics” by levitt on the subject. Basically there used to be a lot more prostitutes then today and in inflation adjusted terms they earned more: a study of Chicago prostitues back then showed them earning from 25k- 430k/year in 2009 dollars which would be 30k-500k+ in today’s. At the time apparently 20-25% of US men lost their virginity with a prostitute. The “proof” is primarily what I’ve read from sex workers about their client base. As for why unsatisfied men are less likely to divorce then women, it likely comes to expectations of losing their kids. That and the same reason women don’t divorce - money issues, inertia etc.

[Jamie05rhs]

If you pay for sex, you're still a loser. (And in my mind, much more of one.)

[Anonymous]

I’ve done this with 3 different women (hookers) in my life. I’m not proud of it at all. But it really was about the mounting pressure of having so many women treat me like absolute shit and being exploited for being a “nice guy”. It also had to do with having no options.

When I was younger I told myself I would never in a million years do that. But seriously what’s the difference between doing that and being a “sugar daddy” to a girl? What’s the difference between me buying expensive dinners/gifts (with no guarantee of sex) vs doing that? At least the transaction I that scenario is completely honest.

[Asker]

For being a :"nice guy", really?

[Opinion Owner]

It’s a long rant but I’ve had multiple women take advantage of me when I was younger.

[Asker]

In which circumstances?

[Opinion Owner]

Argh I’ve posted so many long and extensive posts on this agonizing conundrum before. You really want me to get into it?

[Asker]

Sure. I want to understand.

[slatyb]

No, they just found it r easier than the complications of maintaining a relationship. One sex worker, when asked why the rich and famous used her services when there were so many willing women, said "They don't pay me to show up. They pay me to go away."

[Asker]

Why don't they masturbate then? It's cheaper.

[slatyb]

Yeah, but it's not as much fun.

[Asker]

Fun to exploit someone else for your own personal pleasure.

[slatyb]

These aren't women trafficked to work in so-called "Asian massage parlors" or on the street. Out-call escorts charge $250/hour and up depending on location and demand. I wouldn't exactly call that exploitation.

[Asker]

So you consider it's OK to buy woman's body?

[slatyb]

We're both adults and she's chosen that line of work. I'm not purchasing her body. At the end of the engagement, her body is still hers. I'm purchasing her time, the same as I purchase the time of a housekeeper or a hairstylist. You seem to be making the false assumption that everyone thinks and feels as you do. For you, it seems sex comes with a lot of emotion. For some other people, it's just an enjoyable activity that requires some precautions for safety. For me, this is all hypothetical as I've never hired an escort. But who am I to say that any activity between freely consenting adults should be illegal?

[Asker]

Cause it's exploitation

[slatyb]

It's not for you to decide what other adults may and may not choose to do, for money or any other consideration.

[Asker]

Just get informed

[Miristheiss]

Well for me... I have had girlfriends and now a wife.
Paying a stranger... a sex worker who has been with 1000s of men.
That is disgusting to me on every level.

[Asker]

I agree. I don't think most go for it. I guess those guys are inherently different from regular men and share more characteristics with sex offenders.

[Doflamingo1]

They just want quick sex Because _____.

A buddy of mine blew 2k on them last year. Like the other guy said it’s just a faster process.

[Asker]

Just lazy, misogynistic dudes...

[Doflamingo1]

Listen you wanted an answer, don’t insult us for providing you with an answer. There might be a few guys here and there that have a past traumatic past but, I bet most of them are just guys that want some action

[Asker]

They're not lol. They're basically a minority. Many are also married.

[Doflamingo1]

Yeah that literally backs up my statement. The married men aren’t getting as much action, and the safest option to get rid of their itch is a prostitute. No strings attached.

[Asker]

Many studies show it's not the reason at all. They're just entitled, misogynistic men.

[Doflamingo1]

Show me a link to the studies Pls

[Asker]

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2576731/

[Jamie05rhs]

They probably have a complete lack of shame. Or just a complete lack of standards. And they're okay with using women.

[Asker]

I agree Thanks Finally!

[Jamie05rhs]

You're welcome! I'm glad you agree!!

[TheFlak38]

The prostitute will give the man what he wants. Going on a date is waste of time and money. You give the woman all the attention she needs and maybe she'll give a grandma's hug before going home. Ask a woman after a four hour date how it was and she'll tell you that she had the time fo her life. Ask a man he'll say "that selfish bitch! I gave her all this attention, wasted money and four hours of my life and all she gave was a grandma's hug!"

[Asker]

You're one of them, aren't you?

[Doflamingo1]

Agreed

[Asker]

@Doflamingo1 It was easy to spot. Hostile masculinity, some obvious misogyny tendencies and impersonal sex preference.

[TheFlak38]

Spare us your shaming language little entitled bitch. The only reason why you're so triggered with men getting what they want from prostitutes is because they pump and leave instead of committing to literally waste their lives on a woman that has little to nothing to give up. You live off of a man's energy, money and attention without giving anything in return and then you get mad when men choose to not play this game. I know that as a woman you want to have things both ways but unfortunately for you not all men are stupid white knights willing to become circus animals jumping through your hoops.

[Asker]

You're so typical lol.

[COMMODOREII]

They don't dish out bs.

[Valnac]

They are guys that have trouble meeting women.

[Waldoe]

no matter who a guy goes to, he pays... prostitutes get paid "Up-front" girlfriends drain your bank account... it's easier and cheaper

[Jamie05rhs]

But it's not right.

[Waldoe]

@Jamie05rhs that's what society says, yet it has been around for thousands of years

[Jamie05rhs]

@Waldoe Crime has also been around for thousands of years. So has war.

[Nachowedgie]

Wanting to be loved is probably a big reason for a lot of men

[Asker]

If anything, prostitutes hate you for treating them like disposable coffee cups.

[Nachowedgie]

You're going to the wrong prostitutes then

[Nachowedgie]

I've also not actually been to one as it's illegal where I live but I know for a fact what I said is true in a lot of cases Also if a prostitute hated their clients for treating them like a disposable coffee cup then why would they become a prostitute in the first place?

[Asker]

Money

[Nachowedgie]

Would they rather not get any clients and thus no money? If that's the case then why not get an actual job?

[Asker]

Some women can't

[Nachowedgie]

Neither can some men, sadly they don't have prostitution to turn to as a reliable source of income

[Asker]

Not true lol.

[Nachowedgie]

How so?

[Asker]

They can do it lol.

[Nachowedgie]

No where nearly as easily as a women can. Women don't have to pay for sex so their only customers would be other men

[Asker]

Sure, for other men.

[Nachowedgie]

Except if you're a straight man you can't

[Asker]

Of course, you can.

[Nachowedgie]

No they can't

[Asker]

Of course, they can.

[Nachowedgie]

They can't though, I don't get how you don't understand this

[Asker]

They don't have to enjoy it...

[Jamie05rhs]

If a woman can't earn money honestly then she should go on welfare. That's what those programs are for. There's no excuse to turn to prostitution. They probably do that because they want to get rich or they have a drug addiction.

[Jamie05rhs]

And I agree with @Nachowedgie. If a man can't hold a regular job, then he most likely cannot be a prostitute. Male prostitutes need to be fit and buff, good-looking, and physically healthy. (Otherwise why would any woman want to go to them?). Female prostitutes just need to have a vagina and a pulse.

[Nachowedgie]

Females don't even need to go to them, they can just go to a bar or a club and they'll always find a guy who'll be interested

[harry7825]

I don't go there
But I respect them

[Asker]

So do I. I mean they're confronted to so many awful stuff on a daily basis...

[harry7825]

Oh really I don't know about it

[Asker]

... 🙄...

[Anonymous]

Men have a different relationship with sex than women do, so women can't ever understand it. Women think they understand the male libido but they can't.

Having said that, some men don't have much success with women so prostitutes are their only option to meet their needs.

[Asker]

Lol This far from accurate

[Opinion Owner]

Lol It's very accurate. You just don't understand it because you're a woman trying to understand male sexual behaviors through a gynocentric lens. Same as it every was.

[Asker]

My words are based on studies on the subject.

[Opinion Owner]

Please provide links to your studies. My words are based on reality.

[Asker]

newsroom.ucla.edu/.../men-who-buy-sex-have-much-in-common-with-sexually-coercive-men
www.google.com/.../arrest_histories_of_men_who_buy_sex_farley.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjW5eDvp8TuAhVQcBQKHWkdAk84ChAWMAd6BAgCEAE&usg=AOvVaw1KNu-qy6X7dfaxuuXsV2im
www.google.com/.../43556149.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwi2jemDp8TuAhWYAWMBHdPlBYEQFjAIegQIBhAB&usg=AOvVaw0FV3avqbTwTSrnhG1nRIsH

[Opinion Owner]

That study says nothing that conflicts with what I said.

[Asker]

Oh really?

[Opinion Owner]

Tell me what in that study contradicts anything I wrote.

[Asker]

The reason some men go to prostitutes is because they are inherently different from other men.

[Opinion Owner]

No, the study did NOT suggest that at all. If you actually read the study you'll see that what it showed is that there is a higher prevalence among sex buyers of men who commit sex crimes and treat women badly than among the general male population, but it did not show that the majority of men who buy sex are sex criminals or treat women badly, so it does not say anything significant about why most men who buy sex do so. You've taken the behavior of a minority of men who buy sex and extrapolated it to the entire group, which is false and unfair.

[Asker]

You mean you can't understand statistics. Too bad for you.

[Opinion Owner]

It makes sense that men who are sex offender types would abuse prostitutes because they are easy prey. They can get a woman into a position where they can assault them without forcing them into that position. But that does not mean the majority of sex buyers are that way, and they're not. I stand by everything I wrote in my initial response here.

[Opinion Owner]

I think it's you who can't understand statistics. Show me the statistics in the study that conflict with what I said.

[Asker]

I've already done it.

[Opinion Owner]

No, you have not. You said that what I posted was inaccurate because of some study you read, I asked for you to post evidence, and the link you posted literally says nothing that suggests what I wrote initially was inaccurate. Nothing. I then asked you to tell me SPECIFICALLY what the study showed that suggested anything I said was inaccurate. The only response you had was that I don't understand statistics. I read all the statistics in the study and, as I said, they do not conflict with anything I wrote here. Now, I will ask you one more time... show me SPECIFICALLY what the study says that conflicts with anything I've written here. You won't, because you can't. You will just cop out again because you have nothing. Prove me wrong.

[Asker]

Show me any proof of your own statement

[Opinion Owner]

Haha, nice fail.

[Anonymous]

I go because its easier and cheaper plus I can choose the girl I want to fuck

[Asker]

So you're basically lazy.