Why do women weaponize sex against men?

I think it's wrong for women to weaponize sex against men. If a man and a woman are in a monogamous relationship and the women doesn't want to have sex, the man has every right to outsource the sex to another woman and cheat. (Outside of sickness, chronic medical conditions, pregnancy, etc.)

Sex is a big part of the relationship especially when most modern women aren't easy to get along with, don't cook, don't clean.

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Superb Opinion

  • I may end up catching some flak here but I can sort of see (if I squint hard) where he is coming from. Sex is where men derive their intimacy from, its how we feel close to women. Take that away and we feel alienated from the relationship. Like he said, its more a co-habiting arrangement. Women in feneral control access to sex and if they go through a phase of not wanting ir or ahowing no interest then tbere isn't a damn thing a man can do about it. Its why men rarely pass up on sex when its offered; we crave that validation of our self worth when we engage in it more and more the longer we are denied. (This isn't an attack, just a male viewpoint. It's also not a biological fact for the most part, just a shared consensus of a lot of men in the same position. I'm just giving some insight so discourse can occur and maybe progress or enlightenment can be achieved).

    That said, however, the lack of a sex life doesn't entitle you to just look for it elsewhere. It's hard to do for men but the best idea is to simply talk about the situation with your partner, figure out why things have dried up, figure out solutions. Failing that, a re-evaluation of your priorities and what you want from a relationship. If you feel you're being neglected and your partner shows no indication of concern, maybe its time to either refocus your priorities in another direction or move on.

    • and yet the equivalent for us is a man never giving us commitment aka a proposal, the thing that makes us feel secure and happy that he wants to spend his lifetime with us, risking his freedom for us, being considerate and empathic towards our limited years to have a family, saving our fertile years, etc. We're literally at his mercy when it's up to him to make commitment happen. If he wants to keep as at just a girlfriend after 4+ years, there is nothing we can do to speed up the process, to get commitment. By keeping us as a childless, forever girlfriend that's like they were acting as permanent birth control pills, aka vampire bfs that drained our time, literally draining our lives. Him just getting all the sex, sharing those moments, maybe going on trips, spending years on such an investment and getting all EXCEPT commitment from him. I'll tell you how exactly I fell when my first ex boyfriend denied me marriage and kept adding BS excuses, after excuses, till saying the lines that broke my heart, shattered me into a million pieces to the point I had nightmares about it even after blocking him, ''Oh you're not ready for marriage'' or ''Oh I can take all the time I want too'': - Why, am I really ugly then? - Do I suck as a woman? - What on earth I'm failing in? - Am I so different from other women that got that already? - Why doesn't he trust me? - Did he ever even loved me? - How can I be the love of his life and he won't marry me, WTH? For me that was the equivalent of you men feeling alienated if a woman refuses sex. I felt alienated when he did took my years and denied me what I wanted, destroyed my years.

    • I'm gonna be honest here. I do understand where you are coming from and can empathise with you to a degree. Only to a degree because, being a man, I can't relate to the desire to give birth and wouldn't assume to understand that kind of female biological drive. It would be insulting if I said I did. I do feel that maybe your other half wasn't mature enough to handle a commitment, or didn't care enough, or maybe he didn't want to get married. Some people dont feel they need to go through that extra step to validate their love to you if they already express it to their fullest. A ring and a piece of paper aren't going to make someone who already loves you fully, suddenly find extra space for love. Personally though I think it was probably immaturity or fear of a full commitment. I'm really sorry though that you had to go through that. I can tell by what yoy say that this has affected you deeply and quite probably damaged yoyr sense of self worth. Trust me though, there is someone out there who will see you exactly as you are, and not how you feel about yourself. Someone will love you unconditionally and will be enthusiastic about sliding rhat ring on your finger and starting a family. Please don't give up.

    • Honestly what he did was enough for me to even seek a couple psychological sessions. Yes I had to see a psychologist for this and I'm saddened again as I'm writing this. I'm not really completely healed. In the end, I found out he did that because he was a liar the whole time. If he didn't want marriage, then he shouldn't have lied about wanting it and even asking me money (saying that it's for our marriage), which I gave and he never paid it back.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The sad but true answer here is: "Because they can..."

Most Helpful Girls

  • Why is it an obligation for a girlfriend to cook and clean? Why should I go out of my way to provide services for or even live with someone that's not going to commit to me for life?

    Secondly, if all you care about is sex in a relationship that you would cheat if she doesn't feel like it every day; have you thought about having an open relationship instead of a monogamous one? That way you don't have to cheat anymore and you can just tell her you're out with someone else. No secrets, no lies, no effort at all to go behind her back.

    • @Vesuvius87 You don't have to cook or clean. Just like man doesn't have to pay for dates... But that sounds really stupid because men are Always expected to pay for dates. How else do relationships form? What service do you provide besides your presence if you aren't being a useful partner in a relationship? You know how a woman can be useful? Cook Clean Don't ask for too much Be resourceful Keep your self up. Help pay a bill? But no! Women feel like thats too much work. Men have to fuffill all the services of dating: paying for food, driving, and being entertaining. We try to be there for her, help women through school, help them in life. Men do ALL of these things to have Monogamous Sex with a woman. We want to invest in a woman so that we can have great sex for life. When women weaponize sex... our investment is useless. Men are biologically wired to want an abundance of sex. If you don't agree he will cheat.

    • Perhaps we're sick of tired of providing wifey services for years and years, invest it all for nothing. All that for nothing, to continue staying at just girlfriend till we get fed up but by then he already wasted our time, our years. If there is one thing my father was ever right at is I should've waited till marriage; make sex be the last thing he gets from me after getting commitment first. Waiting for just a boyfriend; sure it's a relationship but it's a boyfriend... not a full commitment. Worthless years of investing, cooking and cleaning (and we didn't even live together, I don't do cohabitation) I'll never get back. A total scam.

    • More of us are also seeing through this BS. This ''stringing her along while she provides all those services'', keeping her with false hopes, lying about wanting marriage and kids. Heck my first ex boyfriend even took money from me. He never returned my money as he promised.

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  • That’s why I said he can see other people if I’m not in the mood

    • Don't catch a STD

    • Yea he is hella paranoid about that

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 0
  • Why would he have the right to outsource it? Relationships are more than just sex

    • @apple1996 Relationships SHOULD be more than just sex. But modern women are super Lazy! You all bring nothing to the table that a man can't do or buy. Most of you don't cook, clean, or cater to a man. Most of you bring emotional problems that we don't want to deal with. And we men have to fix all of your problems and meet all your requirements all the time. Without Sex... a Monogamous relationship is a Glorified friendship where a man looks like a simp. He has Every right to outsource sex.

    • Cooking and cleaning aren't anything that great. It's better to make a relationship about love. Not all that other stuff. I like taking care of my man and having sex with him but that its because it's fun/out of love. Not cause it's a requirement. If he made it that way it would feel like a chore

    • @apple1996 First of all. Men need women to be useful. Cooking and cleaning isn't too crazy it's just the idea that you want to be a good helpmate to your man. You want your man to feel loved? cooking and cleaning for him shows him love. I understand that most women don't want sex to be a chore. But all relationships are built from some sort of reciprocation. "I scratch your back and your scratch mine." That's how business works. That's how contracts work. I hate to be this blunt but hear me out... Men want transactional and Fair relationships with women. We want women that are excited to be with us just like we are for them. We want women to invest just like we are investing. Something in the relationship needs to be a requirement or the relationship itself will fall apart. The contract is no longer worth it. What you don't understand is that men don't want to entertain women and do things for them all the time. It's a chore for us too. But we do those chores because we want sex. We don't do them just because of "Love". We love the women we are with so that we can have Monogamous sex. It's just the truth.

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  • OMG!

    You have a real catch here, girls. 🤦‍♀️

    • What? You don't agree?