Guys, why do you check out women while in a relationship?

I’ve caught my boyfriend looking at other women, but haven’t said much to him about it. It really bothers me. I feel it’s a constant reminder that he’s out of my league when he’s checking out women that are clearly prettier and have better curvature than me. There are times I want to tell him that clearly he wants someone better, since he looks at women that ARE better. I’ve seen other women state the same thing and that men also look at porn. Why do men do this?
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Superb Opinion

  • Well there's 2 different scenarios.

    1) (most common), we are visual, and if you're just talking about looking, we do this all the time regardless. It's even "automatic" sometimes and don't even realize we're doing it. If you're talking about a "normal" checking out, like you might have a peek at a handsome guy.

    2) there's some guys that make it very obvious. And these are often "players" or fboys or whatever you want to call them. Often 100% selfish, have NO respect (for you especially) and maybe aren't even happy with you but are for whatever selfish reason.

    In your case, I'm not sure which it is, or if this is more your insecurities because you also think he's "out of my league". Like I say, we guys are visual and often look, but it doesn't necessarily (and often doesn't) "mean" anything, such as what you think, "he wants them" or are "better than you". You haven't said much about it to him, you MUST! Let him know how you feel. He won't change it (if he cares about you and your feelings) if he doesn't know it's bothering you this much. And, you'll feel better afterwards as well. And if nothing changes after, then I'd just consider ending the relationship and finding a new boyfriend, one that won't do this (yes there are some that won't, or not as badly).

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think a lot of dudes check out other girls in relationships, it's unrealistic to expect them not to, but it doesn't mean you aren't good enough. There is a reason your boyfriend is dating you and not someone else (especially considering he's 'out of your league'). The best way I can think to explain it is to say that a lot of men see women that are appealing to their eyes, but not appealing to them for a relationship. It's like admiring a good looking celebrity while you are in a relationship: you like the way they look but are not really thinking about being in a relationship with them.


    I understand why this could make you insecure, maybe speak to your boyfriend about it but just know that this is fairly normal and doesn't mean all that much. There's no point worrying about women who are 'better' than you: there will always be those better than you and always be some worse than you.

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What Guys Said

(16)
  • Guys are always looking at women. It's just what we do. Don't be offended or take it seriously.

  • Yet he chose you. If anything, try to take at least as a sign that he's not just simply with you for your appearance.

  • Get over it. He’s not dead. Is he comparing you to others? My wife points out attractive people when we’re out.

  • Women are nice to look at. There's nothing wrong with looking. Men are visual creatures and if something looks good, we guys will look at it. Don't read anything into it... just looking.

  • We all do... it's just an instinct not to act on.. but men eyes will always travel

  • Because I’m in a relationship, not dead.

  • Because we aren't dead. If course we will check out other women. It's just looking... doesn't mean we will go after them.

  • Men are very visual.

    We love who take care of, while we would like to have fun and sex with random hotties.

  • We do this because we're visual creatures. As far as porn goes, I prefer scenarios that i don't want in my real life. It's something fake for me. As far as looking at other girls. My girlfriend is not the only physically attractive person I see. I like seeing attractive girls. I don't act on it though. That's the most important thing. Does he act on what he sees? If he doesn't, he respects your relationship enough to not damage it. That's what's important.

  • He just looking guys do it doesn't mean we want them we just look. You are his girlfriend he wants you

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