The guy I’m dating says he doesn’t like to have sex after he orgasms for at least a couple of days. He explained that it just doesn’t feel as good before then.
Also, when he masturbates, he says he rubs himself raw, and it takes a few days to heal, so it’s not painful.
I feel like these are excuses, and it’s weird to me. Are any other men like this? Does this sound legitimate?
That is a bit odd. But as many guys said, every guy's weiner is built, functions and feels different, but I did know a guy once who had similar reasonings. He had "weak balls" as he said, so he needed some time to recharge before he ejaculated again, and getting hard was kinda painful for him because his penis felt sore. He could have a similar condition and he's too embarrassed to share it.
As for the raw masturbation part, that's a weird one so much so that he's probably the first guy who I've heard do that. Personally, if we masturbate without any lube at all (and many guys can relate to this), the skin of the penis can get really irritated and you have this strange itchy feeling inside the penis. It isn't painful, just really uncomfortable, especially if you're circumcised. So unless he likes to lightly stroke himself, wacking away raw can cause serious harm to your penis and you can cause tears in the vascular tubes there, which can cause delayed pain and sometimes even ED.
You should probably have a calm talk with your man and discuss things. This could seriously be something else
You don't say how old he is. If he is in his 30's, it is a bit odd. Also, no guy should be making his cock raw when he masturbates. Though I did that a lot when I was hitting puberty and was masturbating 8-10 times a day. But just once? Nope. People are different. Maybe he has a medical condition. Maybe he has a psychological condition.
Now, if he is older, say late 40's or higher, then that is different. I have absolutely no desire to have sex every day. Even if I was dating someone, I would not want it every day. 3 times a week? maybe personally, a couple times a week is more then enough. I could not even do twice in one night anymore if I wanted to, which I don't. Guys slow way down when they get older. Which is bullshit since women hit their prime in their 40's and want to do it a lot. When I was dating after my divorce at 46, I told my therapist "if us guys in our teens and 20's were even half as aggressive as women in their 40's, then I feel sorry for the women back then" lol.
8-10 times a day? Are you serious? Damnn
@BullShark lol... that was when I was in 9th/10th grade of high school. That would have been 1981-1983 time period.
He probably likes a nice big orgasm instead of little ones. I’d say it’s normal. Not all guys are sex crazed. I would actually enjoy this a lot. It means he can hang out with you, Without sex being involved
Cool
Can i dm?
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Ok, okay, okay... not that weird. Rubbing yourself raw... I mean yeah if your going through a dry spell it can start chafing down there... but to the pion that real sex would hurt. Yeah that's not right.
So there is some truth to the fact that if a guy puts days between having sex he will orgasm harder and a little more easier... but withholding sex or passing on sex with your girlfriends is weird. I mean its selfish for one thing, but if masturbating that hard and passing on sex, they he's got problems.
I see my girlfriend every weekend, and do it at least 4 times every weekend... and honestly on Monday when she leaves I masturbate the hardest on Mondays and Tuesday because I am ramped up form the weekend sex... but by Thursday I am not masturbating again until Monday because I am saving it for her.
But never in my life have I turned down sex or passed on it from a women because I needed days to recover.
Well, I didn’t clarify enough. We’ve only been dating for a couple of months. We’re not yet where we hang out often or have sleepovers. We’re still barely getting to know one another. However, I’ve never dated someone who was like this, so I wanted to ask.
So since you're anonymous I don't know if I am talking to a kid or not and if you're a minor that makes me feel creepy. So if you're dating someone with out having sex with him, then you don't really know if he waits days between having sex or not. But seems like a really stupid thing to say to a women before having sex with her. But if he is dating a women that he is totally attracted to then yes, when he is with you then there is probably some underlying sexual tension building up and there fore he is masturbating more in anticipation. But I would never tell a women that. But its crazy to me that he would be talking like this with a women before even dating her sexually... I mean I would be put off by it. If a women told me that she only likes to have sex once ever couple of days because she masturbates like crazy that's a turn off. I don't care if she likes to masturbate or how often, but I would be troubled by only liking sex once ever couple of days... I don't like the sound of that.
I'm 35, lol. We have only been dating for a couple of months, so we don't live together/see one another multiple times per week/or have sleepovers yet. We hang out once or twice a week, depending on our schedules. When we hang out, yes, we have sex, but he claims he cannot orgasm more than once or twice a week. It's between those times or if I can't meet with him due to prior commitments that he masturbates.
Weird.
Honestly, if he's masterbating until it's "raw", that seems unnecessarily aggressive. Lotion, spit on it, anything don't just rub it raw. Jesus.
But it's never stopped me from doing it again or having sex.
You have no idea how many times I've had sex, spur of the moment, and found myself stabbing dick with the pull tab on my zipper. Did I both to stop just to flip it down so it wouldn't hurt?
Nope.
That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard.
It is! I’m so confused.
"Why" is not important. What's important? You aren't satisfied having sex every few days. Apparently he's not willing to change his behavior so you can have sex more frequently. So your choice is to continue seeing him, having sex when he's ready, or to end it and hope to meet someone more satisfying.
It’s something I will really need to think about.
Life goes by one day at a time. Each day you have the choice to continue in a sexually unsatisfying relationship, or to end it and find someone more compatible. It's easy to put off that decision one day at a time for 30 years. Don't. If you don't want to continue as is for the next 30 years, and he's unwilling to change, it's time to go.
I'm ready to go again before I finished the first.
Buy him some lube for when he tosses one off so he doesn't wear the skin off of it.
Unsure why he wouldn't want you to rub one out, always better than self serve, but it may, or you may be simply wearing him out because you are that good, but then why is he rubbing one out unless he is going over the highlight reel in his mind.
That seems odd.
He explains he doesn’t like using lube when jerking off because he likes to save the sensations for the real thing. I don't know 🤷🏻♀️ Also, sometimes when he’s ready to play, I’m either busy or have other plans. So, he ends up helping himself. I do know for a fact that when we do connect, I wear him out. Immensely lol
Good for you, lucky him.
I don't feel like he feels lucky. Otherwise, I feel like he would be ready to go more often 😒
He probably just has a super tight circumcision.
Or maybe no circumcision at all. I've heard from guys that aren't circumcised that having the skin on can become tight and super uncomfortable
@BullShark Good point! That's certainly possible too.
@FilmGuy93 still though, wacking away raw at your meat? Unless he lightly fondles himself, that can be seriously harmful. As a young teen back when I was still inexperienced about my body, I tried that and it is NOT pleasant. You get this strange dull itching pain
Slow recharges, showing respect, low sex drive or doesn’t like sex
It’s weird. In addition to the oddity of rubbing it raw, as several other men have pointed out they’ve never heard of, he apparently is prioritizing masturbation over actual sex.
I know it's funny
Tell him to use lubricant to jerk off I can jerk off many times a day but without lube it does get raw. And I don't know maybe he just has a lower sex drive than you
I did tell him, and he said it feels too close to the real thing. He explained that he doesn’t like using lube when jerking off because he wants to save the sensations for the real thing. I don't know 🤷🏻♀️
I've seen several guys suggest lubricant, and everytime you say that he says it feel too close to the real thing,... but that's the whole point. That's why there's pocket pussies, that's why there's ultra thin condoms. Ok hold on, maybe we are all looking at this wrong. How long does he go before he cums, when you have sex?
@RACSKC0B he can last for hours and make sure I’m completely pleased. Sometimes we’ll take a break, go to dinner, watch a show, wait until morning, then get back at it for a couple hours until I’m exhausted and ready for him to finish. But if it’s a short night or we work the next morning then it can take him 40 min to a couple hours. He says that he actively holds off to make sure I’m fully satisfied.
Out of curiosity, how old is he? Does he smoke?
He’s 35 and not a smoker. I wondered the same. However! I just remembered that he said he has asthma. Not sure how severe it is.
There are guys like that, I find it interesting. Thank you for the response
Thank you!
Rubs himself raw? Lube was invented for that.
Men usually have sex up to 3 times a day. It needs to be biologically rested. and not every day
Did you mean 3x a week?
3 times per day. but the next day he can't. gradually decreases the performance. 6 max 7 per week
Ooh. Okay. Good to know!
Every guy is different. He may have legit reason or not.
Thanks for like!
Bullshit! my guy does me every single a day at least once if not upto three times a day on week ends, sumthins up!
What? Sounds fishy to me? Rubs himself raw? Sandpaper? You need a different boyfriend if he can't even jerk himself right.
He’s not my boyfriend yet. Maybe he shouldn’t be…
Find someone else, if he can even jerk off right? You can do better..
I'm slow to recharge myself. I can go a while between sessions. But don't get me wrong, I love sex. The dirtier, nastier, kinkier the better. I might start going soft if the sex isn't nasty enough. I find it helps if my partner teases me and gets me excited in anticipation. Find out what his kinks are and start exploiting them for him. And if he's not working at 100% then don't be afraid to involve loads of oral sex and toys in the fun.
Oh, trust. I already do everything you wrote. He’s EXHAUSTED when we’re done. So maybe that’s why he needs a few days to recharge, lol.
Low of energy.
Yes, sounds legit. Like with women, we all have different sex drives, his sounds lower than most is all. But, the masturbation thing... why so rough? That's not normal. Is he into pain or something? Does he know any differently?
That would or could explain the couple of days also. If it's just become a habit of his, so he knows nothing different?
I think the masturbation thing has become a habit. A bad habit. I asked him once why he doesn’t use lube, and he said that it feels too close to the real thing, and he doesn’t like that. He has never said he’s into pain and punishment sexually or when we do have sex.
I know that some people's refractory period could be literally a day or two but I'm sure that's for older men in their 60 or 70
to me, it seems like he's hiding something, if you want to get into a relationship with him, you need to make him understand that he can trust you and he needs to not hide things from you
I think it might be some medical issue. He said he could do it if he used specific medications. The relationship is so new that I don’t want to push him on the matter or make him feel uncomfortable. I'll just work on building that trust ☺️
that's highly possible, also you should've mentioned that he said that you're doing the right thing, trust is one of the most important foundations of a relationship without it nothing can last long
I remembered he mentioned that once after I read your answer.
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