Sexual Relationships
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Guys, Why does my boyfriend choke me so hard during sex?

So when we have sex lately he has been really rough with me.. This is my first ever black boyfriend and he’s a lot bigger than me. I love his personality and sense of humor, we get along great. I actually feel like I might love this guy. But like this past week when we have sex he has been choking me, and he choked me for awhile to the point I thought I was going to pass out so I like pulled him arm a little and he continued to do it. Then after that he grabbed me and pulled me up onto him and starting with the choking again. And now today my neck is swollen and feels bruised. I haven’t told him about this cause I don't know how it would make him feel or what he’d say. Why do guys do this? I’ve never experienced it before. I love him and sex with him but I’m scared and I don't know how to tell him I don’t like it. Or maybe to just do it a lot softer..
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Is this real? I don't want to sound harsh on you but, you sound naive. That's not necessarily a bad thing but, you've got to stand up for your health. Do you like being choked at all? You can't please your new mate with doing something you're not comfortable with. I wouldn't do it to you because it doesn't appeal to me. As for why "some" guys do it, sounds like ultimate control and power to me. I'm sorry for being to hard on you here.

    • Why would I waste my time with a fake question. Of course it’s real.. and I don’t mind being choked as long as it isn’t to the point where I’m going to pass out. I feel like he doesn’t know his own strength.

    • Good luck with that then. It must be an age thing or something along those lines because you do know people have died doing stuff like this? If he doesn't know his own strength & you stated that he continued after you pulled his arm a little, what do you think my honest opinion would be? Your neck is swollen and feels bruised? My opening question to you is rhetorical, I know your Q. is real, I just thought you'd know the answer too. Stop this before something horribly bad happens.

  • Well you said love so this is obviously a serious relationship. If he does this now and you dont stop it then you will have a worse situation. Confront him somewhere public if you can so if he does get upset or aggressive its a safer environment. But if he is willing to give up what he wants for your wants then you know he isn't just using you.

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What Guys Said

(15)

  • He has a particular kink/fetish. If you're ok with it, you should talk to him about having a safe word or safe hand signal to let him know when to stop.

  • I don't like guys who do that at all. It seems wrong to want to physically hurt someone like that. If you really like him though, try talking to home about it. If he is violent or agressive back to you after talking, seek help and support from friends and get out of that relationship fast.

  • Yea some people like that, you should let him know how u feel he will prob understand and then maybe you can try different things when your ready and have talked about it

  • Sometimes I just like to take out all my anger and aggression on her.

    • You’re okay with hurting her?

    • She likes to get hurt by me. She's a woman.

    • Ah.. welll I suppose some women do like it.

  • Because you allow it

    • Yeah I guess so..

  • Tell him it's too much some guys just do it out of instinct but if he really cares about you hell quit

    • How is it an instinct?

    • Because we're all animals and violence is something we do as part of our animalistic nature it makes it more intense for him so he does it

  • Tell him you don't like it. I know you said you're scared that he'll get mad, but the reason we do it is a lot of girls do like it, in SMALL amounts. It sounds like he's just not being careful. You need to tell him. Period.

  • I don't think normal guys do this...

  • I think choking is hot it is showing dominance. But i nevee choke hard

    • Exactly. NEVER do it hard.

  • he watches too much porn

  • Show more from Guys (5)

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