Why does my boyfriend like to bite, scratch, slaps my butt and thighs?

He does this when we are laying in bed together while watching tv. He does this often and it hurts. The after math isn't that pretty my butt is all bruised up as well as my thighs.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • It's an answer which can only be effectively given after consulting a shrink or psychologist else there are may options on possibilities

    1. There are those who love someone so much that they don't know how to display it (which then comes out in the form of extremes such as this)

    2. There are those who are basically sadists

    3. There are those who are into pain (inflicting or receiving) - call it BDSM

    4. There are those who don't realize that they are hurting the other person (have you ever discussed this with him)

    I love a woman's butt and thighs the most and on my woman I keep slapping her butt and caressing her thighs too but even when I slap I try and ensure that she's never in pain (my palms are cupped when I slap) but I realize that scratching and such stuff will hurt her and which is what I certainly don't want nor do I have such an inclination.

  • He secretly wishes to tenderize you and kill you. Bundy reborn!

    • Thats how I feel dude. Why do guys like that though?

    • It would require more questioning such as his behaviors during sexual contact and if he has maschochistic tendencies. Let's go with the p*rn theory for now, but I honestly doubt it; I've never seen or heard of anyone acting this way "learning from p*rn" outside of sexual copulation. He's slapping you when you're just laying there which kind of undermines that idea, but try it anyway.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Seriously. tell him to stop.

    • I told him to stop doing that to me, now he's saying ill just slap it from now on.

    • tell him again that you don't want it at all ever.

  • If he could eat it, he would.

    A woman's butt is the most beautiful part of a woman. The only muscle system which is symmetrically perfect because both legs have performed the same amount of work and visually perfect. Two muscle systems that seem to dance in opposite harmony with each step she takes.

    The valentine shape of a heart is fashioned after the back side of a woman's bottom as she bends forward, down to the point of interest.

    Men love a well toned bottom.

    Enjoy that you have a back like that.

  • Well the slapping I would understand even the biting but scratches are just weird

  • No idea, you would need to ask him

    What is obvious to me, tough, is that you are uncomfortable with it and it needs to stop. If he loves you he wouldn't want to do anything that upsets you.

  • Have you asked him to stop? His father may have treated his mother like this and he feels it is affectionate. If you don't like it, tell him and remind him. Use positive reinforcement. Ask him to do something you DO like instead. Think of something he can do while watching TV that you would actually appreciate...a neck massage for instance. Maybe rub your thigh (or whatever you like). If you can ask him to do something else for you it may become his new habit. You can then change that to whatever you like.

    If he continues even when you ask him not to and refuses to change his behavior it may be a sign of future problems. Give him a little room though...but not too much. You know him best.

  • Probably because he was taught about sexual relationships through p*rn instead of learning how the tender touch can be most fufilling! It happens when boys want to be men and they think p*rn will teach them! try telling him what you like and what you want...

    • Hes really addicted to p*rn no wonder he's all rough with me. Thank you.

    • well men are visually stimulated and women are emotiionally stimulated so try to communicate that when he is intimate with you, he does not need to beat you like he beats his wanker..you deserve better and if he cannot respect you and learn then it could be a deal breaker.. that's why the woman invented the vibrator love.. hehe

  • He is a werewolf...

  • oh man, I got such a hard on right now.

    well, I guess it can be a fetish of his. bdsm?

  • Sounds like he wants to hurt her butt.

  • He sounds like he's very attracted to you, and that turns him on... Maybe you should sweetly tell him that it hurts, and he will back off on that front, he will probably apologize crazily as well. But honestly you need to tell him, because take it from another guy, we're all sex crazed nutcases, slapping and touching kinda suppresses this urge

    Brij