Why does my boyfriend masturbate when he has me? and should I be angry?

I caught my boyfriend masturbating to twerking videos, I’m just so confused because I always give him everything he wants but clearly it isn’t enough, why do guys do this? Should I forgive him for this or leave him. He has made me feel so insecure and self conscious and definitely made my confidence a lot worse...
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Uh, don't blame ANYONE or ANYTHING else for how you FEEL, or your confidence. That is yours to decide. Don't pull the 'he made me' bullshit. Own your shit.

    That said, you're what is referred to as a 'porn-widow'. These are women who's partner is a porn-addict, they jerk off to it instead of doing their beloved. Yes, it's a sickness, an addiction. And you cannot compete with it, and you'll lose out to it every time.

    Time for a sit-down come-to-jesus adult conversation. Let him know he needs to make you his sole outlet for sexual pleasure, and then you cannot refuse him. Make it worth his while. Otherwise, you'll be forever frustrated and taken for granted.

    Are you planning to marry this guy?

  • Cause that's basically the guy version of me time.
    Even if a guy is sexually satisfied with a girl, he will still masturbate occassionally, it's nothing to be worried about.
    It should only be a problem if he masturbates too much and looses interest in sex.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Should you be angry because you are dating a healthy adult? I guess, if you are a crazy person.

    • How is it healthy to do that when you have someone who can do it for you?

    • Do you think that being in a relationship completely changes a person’s sexual needs and desires?

    • Well it did for me? I love him and I don’t touch myself because he gives me everything I desire and why should i go online and touch myself over other dudes? There’s just no need really

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Women that have more to offer than sex, are less likely to be concerned with such things...

  • Are you getting all you want? If so, you have nothing to complain about.
    If not, are you willing most of the time when he is needy?

    If the answers are no and yes, tell him to save it for you.

  • might play more to fantasy or fetish he has. maybe trying to talk to him about it. and consider adopting something new into your sex life together. over time the same thing with the same person can become mundane or boring.

  • People masturbate all the time, if he was actually seeking out sex and having it then it would be a real problem.

    • So do guys prefer masturbating rather then having sex or doing other things with their partner?

    • I don't think anyone would prefer masturbating over sex. It might be sometimes your unable to or he thinks you would not want to. It's perfectly natural to do it male or female.

    • I understand 👍🏽

  • Naked twerking?

  • Ok well just right now, he has a super high sex drive, all guys do like higher than girls, but he shld really think about where or who he masturbate, cause have some decency, if you're feeling insecure its his problem, but you shld really talk to him about it, maybe he masturbate cause he doesn't wanna use u as a sexual object, so like think about it, and talk to him.

  • Ah, great-- yet another I-will-blame-other-people-for-my-problems-rather-than-looking-inward-at-the-possible-ways-to-improve post. Never seen that before.

    Sis, there's nothing to "forgive" your guy for. He didn't do anything wrong. You have made yourself feel insecure by expecting him to cave to your wishes. Great, do YOU cave to HIS wishes? No? You expect everything you desire to be a one-way street? Then be quiet.

  • Just tell him you will get fucked from another guy to even out things

  • Porn gives you something you do not have, and may not want, in real life. I like porn with tall skinny girls. I don't think I would like to date one. I also like incest porn, but do not eat a sexual relationship with any family member.

  • Did you offer to give him unlimited blow jobs whenever he wants?

  • Maybe he was habitual of doing that, but he should not do that. There is a possibility that you don't do enough sex with him so he left unsatisfied.
    Did you talk him about it?

    • Yes I spoke to him and he said that he is very satisfied with our sex and he enjoys it but he said he really need it it and I wa sleeping so that’s why he did it..

    • Then I don't think you should be mad over him, give him some space , over the time he would not be doing that. I think you are just overreacting.

    • Okay thanks 👍🏽

  • masturbate with him. n see how u feel about it afterwards

  • It’s not uncommon for a guy to masturbate whilst in a relationship. I know I have in the past. There r many reasons why they might. Happy to explain if u want more info. Drop me a message and will go through it.

  • Damn
    He has you, why masturbating

    • Id only make love and fuck you, no need to masturbate if i were him

    • If a Guy has a girlfriend and she gives h I’m sex and everything whenever he wants it why do it? I don’t understand?

    • I dont understand either Id never masturbate if i had a girl Im single so i do

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  • You don't have to be angry because he must take his time to stop masturbating because he was doing it for a long time I think

  • Damn, I wish I had a girlfriend that cared that much.

  • Sex and masturbation are not equivalent. Masturbation is a different experience to sex and sex does not necessarily replace it entirely.

  • Yes, you should leave him. Let him find a girl who isn't so insecure that she will shame him for have a fucking sex drive.

    Masturbation is normal and healthy and every guy does it. Get over it.

  • A guy can sometimes have problems getting an erection when it comes to sex due to anxiety issues unlike masturbation.

  • For the same reason women jerk off when they have a partner.
    Sometimes we just want to get off without all the added bullshit.

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