Why does my boyfriend want to watch me have sex with his friends?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years now, and he recently had a friend move in with him. At first it started with little comments and hints and then one night when we were fooling around he told me he wanted me to give his friend a blow job while he watched. After a discussion and some reassurances on his part that it didn't mean he didn't love me or that he was passing me on to his friends, I agreed. It wasn't a horrible experience and he's been extra affectionate and reassuring since but he's also said that he wants it to happen again and had mentioned it going farther than just a blow job. Even jokingly (I hope) mentioned other friends. I'm just wondering if maybe he's not as into me as he says if seeing me with his friends is ok with him.

[redeyemindtricks]

OK, so, let's put a couple things out there for the record right off the bat.

__

• First... no, this is NOT a "cuckold" situation.

There is no premise of you humiliating him... nor of him getting off on feeling inferior to other men.

(Honestly, the whole "cuckold" thing is borderline homosexual. The guys who are into that thing, bless their little hearts, seem to get off more on prostrating themselves before a "superior" MAN than they do on anything their WOMAN does.)

Please ignore the opinions from the people who say this is what it is.

__

• That said... There are basically two possibilities here -- and they are POLAR opposites, so, it's VERY important to know where you stand here.

Those possibilities are:

1) He's using the hell out of you, and he and his friends are just going to get everything they can get out of you and yr body before he unceremoniously dumps you.

OR

2) This is well and truly his kink -- and this is something he would absolutely want to do with the love of his life, just as much as (... or more than) he'd want to do it with some random woman.

As for which one of these you're dealing with... that's all about how well YOU judge character. ***THE MORE HE TREATS YOU LIKE A "SUGAR BABY", THE MORE LIKELY THIS IS TO BE SITUATION #1.***

That may seem counterintuitive, but... that's kinda how this is.

If he's "sharing" you with his friends AND dumping a bunch of cash on you -- and he's weirdly strict about his "privacy" and "personal space" when he's NOT on pre-arranged dates with you -- then, this is DEFINITELY situation #1, and yr ass is gna get tossed out the door after they've all had their way with you.
If yr situation is as described, then, GTFO now, while you can.

If he's doing this BUT TREATING YOU AS HIS EQUAL in the REST of life... then, this is situation #2.
In that case, YOU have to decide whether YOU are OK with building a more serious relationship with a guy who has this kink. That's your call.

__

If the situation more closely matches #1... Get the fuck out. Really.
Or at least set boundaries, be a bitch about the boundaries, and don't let these guys overstep them.

If the situation more closely matches #2... then, if you want a window into what is going on in this guy's head, read my opinion here:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2135693-is-this-a-normal-fantasy

GL girly.

[redeyemindtricks]

Also... if I had to bet at random -- then, I'm sorry, but, I'm going with #1. Because -- when guys have this fantasy/kink about the women they actually *love*... they DON'T want the other guys fucking her to be their FRIENDS. That's... just fucked up. In that case -- where the guy genuinely loves the girl, and is just overwhelmed by her sheer sexuality, and just wants to see her *overwhelmed* and FULL -- he's going to want the other guys to be as close as possible to "inanimate objects". Basically... sex toys, with arms and legs. **Things**, that aren't even really alive. In other words -- ANYONE except his friends. Finding these guys is -- logistically -- another matter, and not as easy as it seems (see that link). But, if this dude is REALLY into you, then, he wouldn't pick his own friends as the ones to "share" you with. So... Go into this with yr eyes open.

[BurCelf]

It may just be hot watching you being fucked by someone else. I've orgasmed to the thought of guiding my husband's dick into another girls pussy and watching them fuck. I would never actually be okay with that in real life (I would be serverly hurt and when I'm not turned on, the thought of it happening even hurts), but it's a fantasy none the less I guess. It may be that your boyfriend has a very similar fantasy with you, but he's actually able to bring it to life without feeling shame or guilt in it.

If it makes you uncomfortable make it be known to him. Think hard about where you draw the line and create clear boundaries with him. If you don't want to continue having sex or giving blow jobs to other men especially his friends, you need to make it clear. "I love you but I'm not going to continue giving blow jobs or having sex with other men regardless if they're your friends or not. I do not enjoy it and I have too much self respect to do such things." If you'd like to give blow jobs but do not want to have sex with anyone else you need to make it clear "I love you and I don't mind giving out blow jobs. But I will not take any further than that and I need to stop being pressured to do so."

If you don't make clear boundaries, he will always have room to manipulate you into doing these things. Respect yourself girlfriend, only do what YOU WANT to do.

[Asker]

I don't feel manipulated or pressured at all, Besides the fact that I love him and want to make him happy. I'm not afraid that he'll leave me if I say no or anything like that. And I've had fantasies just like yours and also like you when I not turned on the thought makes me feel sick. So I can understand that he likes it from a fantasy standpoint. It's the fact that it doesn't bother him when it becomes reality. Maybe that's why he's always reminding his friend that I'm his? or am I grasping at straws?

[BurCelf]

Yeah that's true. He's probably reminding his friends you're his because you giving his friends sexual deeds might give them an idea that you're theirs too. Do you feel like it's cheating when you do it?

[BurCelf]

And by the way I'm really glad I'm not the one with a fantasy that they don't like!!

[Asker]

No. I thought I would, but I don't. Just like I thought he'd act weird after. Like after the sexual high wore off he'd look at me differently , like I was tainted somehow. But he hasn't. It's been a few weeks since it's happened and we're truly closer than before.

[BurCelf]

Well then that's really good then!!! Just so what you're okay with 😊 Make boundaries for things you aren't.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps it is psychological that some guys wish to see their gfs/ even wives to be enjoyed by friend in their presence. Before exploring "his" mind, search "yours'". What have I understood from your statement that you too found it pleasant and enjoyable experience. After bj the next stage would be surely actual fucking. You must have considered and thought of it. Please don't mind , to me you just need endorsement. If you like it, well and good

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for selecting me one of the MHGs,

[LaurenGrace]

he's definatley cuckold babe . enjoy it coz it makes him happy and seemingly more in love with you. Plus you get to have sexwith others

[Asker]

You're right, he does seem to be more in love with me than before. Which is the part that's hardest for me to understand.

[LaurenGrace]

Its his thing babe its weird but it works.. i dont think id have an open marriage like i do if my hisband wasn't a bit cuckold.. diffrence being he has 100% particpation unless he sends me on a date

[Asker]

Oh he had 100% control of the situation. I guess that didn't fit with what I know of "cuckholding" and he was definitely turned on by it. And surprisingly, I didn't hate it. It's just hard for me to imagine that it hasn't changed his opinion of me, for the worse that is.

[SarahsSummer]

This doesn't sound like a cuckold situation at all.

[LaurenGrace]

@SarahsSummer note i said a little bit cuckold in regards to my husband... but we are trying to help this girl and her situation... asker lthough you probably aren't putting him down or anything which is synomyous with cucking. he maybe be getting that side of it from his friend.. the flip side to this maybe he's not cuckold but in fact just a dirty watcher and gets off more by watching his girl with others and still feels like he's king

[BlueCoyote]

There are different types of cuckolding. Not all cuckolds enjoy being degraded or humiliated. So being in control of the situation doesn't mean he isn't into cuckolding. In fact, MOST cuckold fantasies are very similar to women's rape fantasies: you want to tell yourself that you're at the mercy of another person but in reality, you still want to be in control. The vast majority of cuckolds want to be in control of the situation.
I myself am into cuckolding and from my own kinky fantasies, I can tell you that most of the stereotypical stuff you read on the internet about cuckolding is bullshit. For example I don't care for black guys sexually as cuckold porn suggests. I want my girlfriend to have sex with a white guy. I also don't care for guys with gigantic dicks. It's nice if he's not super small but as long as he could please her, I'd be fine. Finally, I don't want to be degraded by my girlfriend or her lover as porn suggests. I simply want to watch her be naughty with another guy.

[Anonymous]

I would love for my girlfriend were to do what you did and more, except not to my friends. That's weird to me. It's not because I don't love her or I feel I can't satisfy her, but my biggest fantasy is for her to have sex with other guys, give blowjobs/handjobs to other guys. Everything. I don't know why I want it as much as I do, but I do.

I don't know if she would take it the way you did though. I keep it to myself because I don't want to cause issues in our relationship because of this desire.

[EmoKate97]

This, what the fuck i had boyfriends that wanted me to do this too but i never did. Why do guys like this shit? Its like, i'm with you for a reason, i'm not with him.

[deezfieryhands]

Does he want to watch because it turns him on? And the other guy is ok with that? This just seems really weird to me and it seems like he is a little bit gay... You might just be his beard

[Asker]

The other guy is getting a blow job so he's definitely ok with it. And I can say with 100% certainty that he is not gay.

[deezfieryhands]

But i mean like why would he get turned on by seeing you pleasure another man which includes seeing the other guy naked and even cum which is kind of weird... Sometimes you can't tell if someone is gay, it's not always obviously and can be a complete surprise

[Asker]

Well, you're 16. As you get older you'll realize not everything is black and white. I watch porn and enjoy watching the girl get off and yes, she's usually naked. And I'm not gay.

[deezfieryhands]

I'm not actually 16, lol i didn't use my real name or age on this website...

[truthbeknown]

Some guys like it as in an out of body experience or being in the 3rd person.

[madhatters4]

just sounds like a kink he has

[Elarra]

That's... weird. He's into you, but I think he's talking you into doing one of his sexual fantasies and it sounds like he's going to eventually want a gangbang.

[Elarra]

Do you live with your boyfriend?

[Asker]

No. We don't live together.

[Elarra]

Um, I know you've been together for two years, but I advise you not to do it again because he's going to keep asking you for more. Unless you like doing it and want a gangbang or something like that.

[Red_Arrow]

He is not joking. If you are okay with eventually having sex with all the guys he know, then continue on.

[SarahsSummer]

He's not as into you as he says. Unless you want to be a prostitute, get out of this realationship. You are a toy, a play thing. When boys get tired of a toy, they get a new one. Be a new one for someone who respects you.

[redeyemindtricks]

Yeah. I wrote my usual 1123095762410395348976 characters, but... basically this. There are absolutely guys with this kink who love and treasure the woman they enjoy it with -- but, the "friends" thing seems to be the smoking gun here.

[Asker]

@redeyemindtricks Thank you. The whole situation is a bit overwhelming. And you're right about the other guy (his friend) being almost a prop or a toy. He actually said almost that exact thing. It just seemed to me that he "picked" for lack of a better word, his friend because it was someone he knew and trusted and also knew that I wouldn't even consider a 3 some with a perfect stranger. But maybe I'm just seeing what I want to see.

[redeyemindtricks]

Girl, be VERY careful. If I were you, I would work substantially more commitment out of this boy, before giving any ground to this sort of thing -- even if you ARE into it. (If you're NOT into it... then, just make that known. Best case scenario for him, you could possibly re-visit the scenario some years from now -- you never know how yr tastes are going to evolve.) Like, ok, my husband doesn't share me... (ahha that man does LOTS of things VERY well, but... sharing is not one of them.) but, **at this point in our relationship** -- together for 17 years, married for 15 and a half, ZERO violations of trust -- if he slapped a blindfold on me and just told me to open my mouth while he started fucking me from the back, I'd totally do it. Wouldn't even hesitate. Honestly I'd even be a little turned on by the anticipation of what was going to come (though I wouldn't expect it to be another living breathing dude). ... but, that's what **seventeen years of trust** buys you. You'd be

[redeyemindtricks]

foolish to give up too much too soon, here -- even if the prospect DOES excite you.

Second -- and more importantly -- boys have limited imaginations.
You should... uh... mb suggest doing something like this, first? Like what I wrote in my opinion here:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2138227-would-you-be-open-to-a-fake-threesome

Or, if you want the thrill (and humiliation) of an extramarital affair without the actual, like, extramarital part... try something like I described here (mho girl):
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2113727-sexual-fantasies

Ffuuuuuuuuu woman. Both of those are... SO much hotter than anything that could be created with another man. Hell yesssss. Commitment is the hottest kink of all of 'em. <3

GL.

[Asker]

@redeyemindtricks Omg. I'm so showing that to him and asking for a slut mirror. ❤️❤️❤️

[redeyemindtricks]

#mmhmmbby #fuckyeah :*

[Asker]

That may be true. I hope not, but it's possible. But why wait over 2 years?

[redeyemindtricks]

Lol... Girlfriend You think 2 years is a long time? It's probably more common for guys to wait 22 years than just 2 years. For various reasons. They may take that long to discover or accept their own kinks. Or it may take them that long to age out of the hot-blooded stage where they'd instinctively want to punch anyone who touches you (even if they fantasize about it). Or THEY may not feel like that level of communication/intimacy is present, for that long (this isn't just a girl thing... shocker!). But, yeah. 2 years is a pretty fast timeline. I think the average "hotwife" couple is married for something like 10-20 years before they even start "hotwife"-ing.

[Berethor]

Your boyfriend have an beta male syndrome or he use you as a whore for his friends and don't care about you, in either case your "boyfriend" sucks.

[posted]

really fucking weird.

[slatyb]

He's totally into you. It turns him on that you as he asks. He's showing off to his friends that you will do anything for him.

[Asker]

This is pretty much how he explained it. Thought maybe it was just a line?

[Spencer10]

I would recommend you google "cuckold". Educate yourself. If you are comfortable with this lifestyle go for it.

[Asker]

I did. But it doesn't seem to fit. He's in complete control, repeatedly reminding his friend that I'm his, telling him that he'll let him play but that I'm going to bed with him when we're done. Telling him what he can and can not do. He's not being submissive or degraded at all. It feels more like he's giving me as a temporary gift to his friend if that makes any sense. And he's not uninvolved. He participates and makes sure he is taken care of also.

[Spencer10]

Hmmmm... yes this does seem a little bit of a twist. Perhaps this is a more complex form of a 3some? I do think you are uncomfortable with this arrangement anyway and that is a problem. Any kind of non traditional sex demands all parties are comfortable and supportive.

[InquisitiveMan]

very weird he will probably break up with you after

[capturemyheartnow]

In this way , I you keep on having sex with all his friends , one by one , you will be famous very quickly. People will know you for your sexual nature. Do you want this to happen to you?

[Asker]

I'm not going to have sex with his friends. Well, other than the one I was already sorta with. I've made this very clear to him, that I don't like the idea of feeling like I'm being passed around. I'm just trying to understand why it's something he likes. If I saw him with another girl it would kill me. But it's seems to have made us closer.

[capturemyheartnow]

I know , you have got your principles right. Please take good care of your boyfriend so that he doesn't develop into a sex maniac with his generous views about sex. Tell him that he owns you because you love him. And that you cannot even thing of having sex with somebody else. That will solve the problem once and for all.

[Asker]

I know it's hard to judge tone through text, but that reply seemed to be dripping in sarcasm...

[capturemyheartnow]

I will not defend myself. But I have given you honest reply.

[Shaft50]

It seems that he enjoys watching you sexually perform and this is a turn on for him. It may even be that he has cuckold fantasies...

[madelacroix]

He's a pimp, you're about to be a hooker. You ok with that?

[ZOOON]

maybe watching another guy pounds you turns him on which is very weird... i don't know about that

[anonman32]

Sounds like he maybe is into cuckolding?

[Asker]

I don't think so. He's in control of the situation. Repeatedly reminding his friend that in his. That doesn't fit with what I know of cuckholding.

[anonman32]

Then i dont see why he wants you to have sex with his friends with him watching.

[Asker]

Lol. Me either, that's why I asked...

[TonyRyanAgain]

Some guys like to watch. I don't, that's weird and pretty beta to me but some do...

[abc--123]

Some guys actually enjoy seeing the woman they love with other men. Personally I don't get it but it's true. For people like him it's probably a good sign that he wants to take part in this fetish with you

[Anonymous]

he's likely lost a bet or is prostituting you out. There are some muslim men in my area who do this with white non muslim girlfriend's

[Asker]

I can see how it could look like that but that's not the case. He's not just pimping me out. He's there and involved in the experience. It's more like a threesome but he likes to watch me with his friend for a bit before he joins in.

[Opinion Owner]

Thats what a pimp does

[Asker]

Ummmm no it's not...

[Anonymous]

Some guys just think it's fun to watch