Why does my husband look at other women's naked photos/videos, but not mine?

I'm an attractive women (not to toot my own horn) and my husband doesn't seem to be interested in any of photos that I send him (explicit stuff).

He told me to send him photos and so I did. He doesn't respond or acknowledge them or act on them.

He still would rather look at other women, often rather than having sex with me.

I'm open and available. I initiated. I get turned down. My photos ignored.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • The question is not, are you not attractive or not. You are a very attractive woman in your husbands eyes, since he chose to marry you. I think your relationship has become a bit stale, and he’s looking out for some exitement in the boring everyday life. Men are usully led by their pants, but I wouldn’t worry of him looking at porn, since pretty much every guy does it. This is also quite common in pairs that have grown too close together, since that’s a thing and one of you seems to be suffocating. A suggest you have a talk and discuss a small break, for example you going to your relatives for I don't know maybe 2 weeks (completely cut contact) and that will show you two guys what life is without you two guys. If there is even a spark between you, this should strenghten your relationship. If he’s been that way from the beginning, At least in my opinion, he might be addicted to porn and is more interested in ”doing it himself” and might completely lack the know-how and/or will to please a woman.

    • I've asked him several times of he wants to leave or if he wants me to leave. We are halfway across the country from any family so taking off for 2 weeks isn't really an option. I'm not worried about porn. I'm fine with him occasionally using that or even using it together. It's that he doesn't see me that way it's my issue here. I think the other commenters are on to something in that he only views me as mother now. He even calls me mom. I thought it was a thing, but it makes sense that it's part of the issue.

    • Many of my friends fathers call their wives ”mums” especially if they have children, so that’s quite normal. As I said, it might be that the relationship has become a bit stale and he’s just looking ag some exitement. Not to sound off as rude, but it might be that he is hinting for you to get rid of a few pounds or so. Bearing kids will usually change a woman, especially in the appearance.

    • Haha no. I'm skinny with big boobs and butt, but thanks for letting me know the mom thing is normal.

  • I know this might sound offensive but it looks like he is no longer attracted to you physically which I can’t tell why since you don’t have a photo of yourself. I have many married friends who experienced similar thing and most of the time, it was because they get less attractive after a few years of marriage and worse for those who gave birth. It does sound shallow but men are visual creatures. They will always be attracted to beautiful things especially women no matter how happy he is in the marriage. You mentioned that you are an attractive woman, but I am afraid that’s not how he sees you now. I am not saying you are ugly but I am trying to figure out his view on you. If you still look the same as the first time you guys met before married then my guess would be he is just bored with one woman and want to explore something different but not responding or complimenting on your sexy photos is definitely strange, because most men would love to see their women get naughty for them.

    • 😆 I have never had anyone tell me I'm ugly or less attractive. I'm always being told that I've aged like a fine wine, even by him.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Your husband may be in a rut and may see you more as a mother to the children rather than someone to be romantic with. It could also be the result of him having a porn addiction or having an affair. I suggest telling him you would like the two of you to work together on rekindling the passion. You've probably worked through other challenges in the marriage, so this should be no different. Blaming each other and demanding changes likely won't help. If it's difficult for the two of you to openly discuss this sort of thing, you may want to suggest going for couple's counselling.

    • I try to get him to talk about it. He refuses counseling. Seeing me as mother makes sense. I'm going to try completely changing up my wardrobe. I surprise him with sexy things often, but he's oblivious. We've had this conversation at least 3 times in the last year and I always word it as being my problem, not his.

    • Many men are not great at dealing with emotional issues but like to be problem solvers. Perhaps presenting the issues you are having in a non-threatening manner as problems for him to solve would encourage him to offer some solutions to try. If not, you may get him to go for counselling if he doesn't feel threatened by the process, for example if the counsellor is a man he may not feel as ganged up on as if it were a woman, or if it a couple's retreat atmosphere rather than a clinical setting.

  • Simple you are available to look naked directly why to look in photos

    • After talking to him, this was his answer. So, you get best answer.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 11
  • There might be a few things you could try to get his attention. You could try wearing sexy lingerie or new panties or thongs. Maybe even try a new wardrobe or get a make over. But I'd say he's losing interest in you sadly, sometimes this happens after a few years. I'm really sorry this is happening to you. I wish I could offer more help than just some tips. I hope that you can get this sorted out and have him show you some love and attention something every woman deserves.

  • He is not trying. He does not appreciate you. Send them to me and I will prove I appreciate them.

  • Maybe start looking at naked guys and see what he says to that...

    Either way since you two went all the way to marriage then things must be done you're not some girlfriend he can ingore

  • It seems like he's not that attracted to you anymore. And he's not doing anything to change that like spicing things up trying new things etc. You should definitely talk to him about it and tell him you expect him to put in more effort than this.

    • Any suggestions to get him to talk about it? He refuses to communicate about most everything.

    • Well that's your first problem right there. :D How did you make it this far if you didn't communicate? that's something you should test out in the first few months. You can't really force someone to communicate they have to be mature enough to talk about complicated issues and have to have an interest in the relationship so they're willing to do that. If he lacks those things then you can try and poke and prod him but he'll just see you as someone who's making him uncomfortable, pressuring and annoying him so it won't lead anywhere. I don't really know what to tell you this seems like a difficult situation.

    • Thanks for the reply. We used to talk about things before kids, but not so much anymore. He doesn't want to be in charge of anything so there's not much to discuss otherwise. I ask his opinion on other things and I get a simple yes, no, or do what you want.

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  • Sounds like there may be underlying problems in the relationship that are interfering with his attraction to you.

    • Any opinions to open communication? He refuses to communicate.

    • Then there really isn't anything you can do at this point

  • Doesn't matter how attractive a woman is... eventually a man will crave sex with another woman. That's how nature and millions of years of evolution designed men to be... to plant their seeds and move on to the next one. It's a survival mechanism for the human species. A lot of male animals do the same thing.

  • Do you have kids?

    • Yes. 5yo and 6yo if that matters.

    • Not knowing anything about your relationship, but it does happen from time to time when a woman has kids, the husband stops seeing her as the ‘sexy girlfriend’ and more like a ‘mom’. Or it could be he’s bored with just one woman and wants to look at someone different.

    • Any suggestions on how not to be seen as mom? That honestly sounds accurate.

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  • You can send me those photos and I would react to them.

  • Have you tried talking to him about it? That seems kinda shitty.

    • Yes he's not great with communication.

    • I understand that, I have a similar problem in my relationship with communication. It seems the problem you posted about is just a side effect of a larger problem in your relationship. Communication is the biggest part of a relationship being on good terms.

  • the sad truth is... even a guy that owns a "Rolls Royce" will look at a tricked out "Mustang" he would never "Trade down" but... GUYS Look... it's natural...

    • But you would also look at your Rolls Royce right?

    • I would LOVE my Rolls

    • I get what your asking... OK... you are familiar, he knows every hair on your head, he knows how you mumble in your sleep, he has smelled your farts, and... he probably loves you... and checking out the Newest Model does not mean he is going to trade you in... I know its RUDE and Thoughtless... guys...

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  • Can't say how attractive you are?
    Although any guy would respond to explicit photos.

  • He has lost all interest in you. It might be time to move on.

    • No. He's still my best friend. We do spend time together and when I really force the issue he will have sex with me. It's like he forgets that I'm here for sexual actions almost. He doesn't want me to share the photos with others, but he doesn't seem to care to get them either.