Why doesn't my boyfriend ever take my shirt off during sex? It makes me so insecure?

He undresses my bottom half normally but we always leave the top.. unless I get too hot and take it off myself. I recently found a bra hanger in his drawer from his ex girlfriend (this was a WHOLE thing) and now I feel like it's fucked up my brain and filled it with so many insecurities. We never ever talk exes and I shouldn't have to know how big his exes boobs are, but now I do and it's made me start to question my own self. I've never been super insecure of my smaller chest but now it's been plaguing my mind that he doesn't find me attractive there and that's why he never bothers with my shirt.

Updates:
1 y
I plan on talking to him soon. Just giving it some time to mull over in my head and figure out how to approach it.
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • Well, you don't know if he didn't take off the shirt of his ex either. And it might be for sure he preferred his exes boobs, as well as it might be he just is not "that" into giving women boobs pleasure and just cares about putting his d**k into a vagina, which might be a thing to investigate.
    If he is into you in general he should be normally turned on by giving you sexual pleasure, so if your boobs are sensitive, you might just communicate to him how you have fantasies about getting your boobs masturbated too other than the rest and he would automatically be turned on to do it for you, which includes removing your shirt as a consequence. It would mean he would take it off because of being turned on at the idea of giving you pleasure and not because of "wanting to see boobs" still, but being turned on by giving you pleasure is definitely a healthier dynamic you should look for than just hoping to be a perfect doll for his own views.
    But in case it turns out he is not attracted to give you pleasure, even if you tell him what your preferences are, then you aren't really having decent sex because it would mean he is just thinking for his own and that is... strange, and unattractive to say the least (I would be repulsed personally), and this would be more concerning than having attractive boobs to see and touch I think.
    Other than that, for any girl there will be always girls with better boobs somewhere: bigger, perky, symmetrical, and whatnot. So what matters is only that he is not "repulsed" by your boobs (which could happen only if you have really weird boobs like really really strange in a rare way, deformed etc). But boobs alone don't determine the relationship strength, neither the quality of sex. He is now in a relationship with you, that means probably he chosen you for a reason over other girls who may have got bigger boobs instead. Maybe you developed a special bond made of trust, maybe you have a strong compatibility and familiarity over the daily life, maybe you share interests and humor, etc. I mean, you are together for some reasons, which are not "boobs". And you don't want to be in the role of being just a vagina with flesh around I guess, so you can keep focusing on what makes your relationship good, and the sex satisfying, or to check if you are actually getting enough from this bond and the if sex is actually good.
    Lastly, and more simply, if you have a working relationship you might just talk with him about this insecurity. He may respond by simply praising your body and remarking how attractive you are, or something.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Not that it's an excuse but maybe he doesn't like your boobs. Are they small? What do your nipples look like? Guys are very visual and maybe he doesn't like boobs or they remind him of one of his previous X's. If someone didn't take my shirt/bra off I would confront them and if the answer wasn't what I wanted to hear I would look for someone else. Maybe don't take his pants off during sex? Just unzip him and take it out.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Oh my as this is highly unusual. Has he commented that this is just a thing for him? If not, then like you said there is a greater issue. Finding a gargantuan bra size he is worshiping is not helpful to you given this dynamic. I have to question how much he cares and what his actual intent is as it relates to this relationship.

    What's the communication like now. Has he gone totally stealth without comment to you?

  • I doubt the guy would have started seeing you if your boob size was something that he found unappealing. I think you may be reading into it too much.

    If it's bothering you, ask him. If he says that your breasts are the issue, then he plays in the shallow end of the pool.

    There are plenty of great guys out there that actually love smaller breasts, I prefer them.

    • Thanks

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 15
  • Hubby loves my B cups. Honestly breast size is not a big deal. Guys can have different preferences but I doubt its a deal braker.

  • Maybe it’s some kind of fetish?

  • Clearly this is something u need to talk to him about

  • He fucking you till satisfied, and you're STILL insecure and unhappy?

    Looks like he's dating a mental health project, not a girlfriend.

    Your boobs are not a turn on for him. The rest of you is. Leave it there, dumbass, before he sees you for the project that you are.

  • Thats... definitely odd. Have you talked to him yet?

    • Also, don't be insecure of your little perky friends. Small is enjoyable too

  • Maybe (?) he doesn't want you to feel cold.

  • I say this with all the love in the world; I'm not sure that people like you should be having sexual relationships...

  • Geez this guy is a woos. I would have it off in seconds. These wimpy soy boy type guys are too common these days. From now, you take it off and put one of them in his mouth and see what he does. I'm shaking my head trying to understand this guy.

  • Give us a picture and maybe we can shed more light. 😜. Maybe he isn’t a boob guy. But I always like my partner fully nude, regardless of breast size. Makes it easier to provide all types of pleasure for her.

  • I’m a virgin so I don’t know this, shouldn't he be playing and nibbling your chest area?

  • You need to be upfront with him and just ask why he dosent. You need to be honest in a relationship

  • You're update is all that really needs to be said

  • Id have taken everything off feel skin on skin

  • Talk to him about it

  • WTF is wrong with the guy

  • weird

  • How do they look?

  • I assume he was the one who asked you out

  • Okay--so how stacked is she? And what are you working with?