Sexual Relationships
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Why doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex as much as me?

We used to have it so often and almost every time we see each other. I am young and have a very high sex drive. He is 5 years older than me. Not to sound conceited but I think I'm pretty attractive and fit too so I don't know what the problem is. We have been together for almost 2 years now. Could it be because he's bored? Or does this usually happen when people are together for a long time? It annoys me because I take birth control and if we're not having sex then there is no point in me taking the pills.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Perhaps if the sex is always at the same time of day, in the same place, in the same position, etc., it's not as exciting as it was when it was new. Try different things, for example some toys from a sex shop (e. g. vibrators, lubes, nipple clips, dildos, cock rings, etc.), role playing, or sex games. Watch porn together and try whatever is happening onscreen. Take photos or make your own porno. Go to a nude beach or adult resort. Think about having sex in different locations such as in the shower, kitchen, outdoors, white watching TV, in a vehicle, etc. Try a different position besides you on your back such as cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, or sitting on his face. If you usually have sex in the dark, try it with the lights on. Play a game like cards where the loser has to do whatever the winner wants sexually. Try tying him up and having your way with him and vice versa. If you have a bush, shave it or trim it. Shave his pubes if he doesn't already. If you usually have intercourse, try a titty fuck, or giving him a hand job or blowjob. Swallow his cum if you don't usually provided you're both okay with it. Invite him to eat you to orgasm. Play with food, for example licking whipped cream off each other. Communication is key. If he still isn't interested it could be he is cheating, masturbating a lot, needs counselling, is on a medication that is lowering his sex drive, or has a medical issue such as depression.

    • Wow, this is a lot but I will definitely keep these ideas in mind. I appreciate your response. :)

    • Best of luck to you. Stay healthy and safe.

  • This happens on both sides in longer relationships. Especially now, everyone is a stressed in ways that they may not even recognize in themselves. Changing things up a little helps. My long-term girlfriend in school surprised me one night by arranging a special date. She invited me for dinner in her place and made dinner for us in a little black dress with her hair done in a different way. It sounds very traditional, but it got my attention and I still remember that night many years ago. It works both ways. I make a point to do something special for my wife out of the blue to rekindle the fire. In terms of continuing with the pill, things can change quickly, so unless you are sure you are not going to be having sex keep taking it or change to another method.

    • Awhh that's so sweet, thank you for the advice. This is something I will definitely consider doing in the future.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Sometimes the initial excitement wears off and you get into a routine. Could be he’s bored and you need to spice things up a bit. Could also be he has a lower drive than you.

  • How long has this been going on? If he's not interested then you'll have to end it and find someone who is.

  • if you get sore from fucking quickly he might just not want get blue balled.

  • U should know everyone have their hormones working diffrent.

  • First, don't get frustrated. I know it's easy to do. I am also aware it is easy to blame ourselves. Which will only lead to resentment between you and your partner.

    Second, talk to your partner. Ask him how he is, see if there's anything bugging him at work, if he has been depressed this could cause him to lose his sex drive, or if he's not physically being as active as he usually is. There are some many different things that can affect a person sex drive. I know that stressing about it, blaming yourself, or getting angry with him will only serve to compound the issue.

    • Thank you. I really appreciate your advice. I did talk to him about it earlier and was able to resolve the problem. Communication is always the best way to solve things.

    • Communication really is. And you're welcome. Im happy to help if I can..😊

  • He's five years older, find a guy who can keep up.

  • If he is in your age group, guys only think of themselves.
    More mature guys would never treat you like that.

  • He’s just not in the mood

  • Cause he isn't to bright. I guess he'll find out when a stallion comes along and gives you the best sex of your life.

  • I think after awhile you get tired of the same type of sex , maybe you need to make some changes. I would love a woman like you though

  • He sounds lazy. A real man would gladly have sex every day if he could!

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