Guys, Why dont men just tell us (women) how they like their BJ?

I've been going out with this guy couple times. On our second date i invited him over. Things was heating up and i wanted to go down on him. I was barely warming up.. he stopped me mid way saying he has foreskin so i can't suck too hard. so i went slow... i could sense he wasn't relaxing, i looked up to check and he just picked me up and kiss me.

I reach down to play with i realised he was barely "al dente" .. he then said "it the alcohol.. that does it to me".. i said "its ok let just touch each other" and he just gave up i guess. i told him its ok and tried kissing and touching him to show him its no big deal. im just left with this feeling of.. umm why can't u tell me how u like it and ill try because everyone has different ways to get turned on. i broached the subject gently next morning.. to ask how like to be touched or foreplay.. he didn't seem to want to communicate it.. whyyyyyy

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Superb Opinion

  • I think some guys want to ask for things they can barely admit to ourselves and don't want to be rejected; not just the usual suck and stroke, but things that may be on the nasty side.

    One I asked for was anal fingering with a blowjob and also alone on my knees with my body on a chair, as foreplay before being blown. Some guys have gay fears about anal play but for me, it is just another hole to pleasure.

    And speaking of holes, she took it upon herself (!) to finger the little hole in my penis. She thought it was a ticklish tease like scratching the frenulum but I liked it and then asked her to use her nail. She went in to the edge of excruciating pleasure and pain and made me rock hard. Later on we advanced into urethral sounding.

    The key is to ask him what he would like that nobody would ever know about. Also, you can try out some specific things and see if he likes them. Use your imagination.

    I do like a certain blowjob routine but thought I'd touch on things I'd have never mentioned to girl a in the past because of fear of grossing them out.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Not everyone likes oral, and contrary to popular belief, men can need foreplay before genital stimulation as well. Alcohol definitely can play a factor though- and if he had too much to drink, you might just have to wait for him to sleep it off. Don't take that as anything against you. Try again in the morning!

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What Guys Said

(14)
  • Some men don't enjoy it, but its embarrassing to admit that. It's easier to play along the to face the questioning or awkward conversations.

    • Yeah, they don't enjoy it when she's grinding her teeth on it like a cheese grater

    • @WanderingLoveWizard I myself don't enjoy it at all, teeth or not. But that issue is something that should be definitely brought up in the moment if it's not desired.

    • Hey, that's cool man. Different strokes for different folks I guess. Literally. I don't enjoy making out. It makes me claustrophobic for some reason and it's gross

    • Show All
  • Well, there is no such thing as a BAD BLOW JOB! So any time I guy has his penis in a girls mouth, THAT IS A GOOD blow job.

  • I have instructed many girls on how I like it done, some claim to be experts, but it takes a while.

  • He couldn’t be honest with you in that case. You know that right?

  • he was feeling embarrassed.. usually in virtually mode, the things like these r discussed before starting banging

    • we did have some conversation before.. and i did ask him if he wanted me to go down on him.. which he said yes.. so im not sure if he was embarrassed about that

  • The next time tell him to take a pill and you can suck has long as you want then….
    And he feels embarrassed maybe….

  • I don't mind having a blowjob it doesn't matter as long as you don't bite me. Blowjobs are good no matter how they're given. Sound like the guy was a little sensitive on his tip of his penis. Or was a little shy.

  • Stop and don't speak for all "men". A men will tell you "ohhh, baby, yeah just like that, that's how I like it", on the contrary, a boy will be scared to voice his desires. Do me a favor and learn discernment.

    • If you've gone the thread, regardless of age the issue here is not about judgement but more of communication. Granted, I shouldn't have stated it in a way that its referring to all men. I should have phrased it better. From my dating experience, I've yet to meet a guy who was willing to communicate how they really like it. So far how, the only way for me to have some inclination if they are liking it is as if they are moaning, arching their back, pushing my head deeper.. etc Never have i had a a breakdown on how they actually like it. im trying it by trial an error. like how u are still figuring how to work the clit with ur finger and mouth

  • I have. And my wife taught me how to find the clit. We’re experts and we can never show anyone else. Irony….

  • Not everyone is comfortable enough to explain it, or hbave the verbal skills to instruct another person. In experience, some women are not open at all to pointers, let alone instructions. It is a touchy subject

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