Why girls lose interest in a guy whom they liked when he starts showing interest in them?

[Anonymous]

This has always baffled me tbh, i do get all sorts of signs from girls that they like me, stares, checking out, flirting, smiling, prolonged eye contact, basically everything, and even when i go on fb to add these girls they accept me 9/10 times, and we chat for some days or sometimes more and they seem to care enough to talk to me and respond rather quickly... then it happens she just out of no where replies with one words, stops replying or flat out ghosts on me.

What am i doing wrong? well iam not crossing any line, iam being respectful, genuine and finding funny and interesting topics to talk about and try to get to know her more, so nothing out of the ordinary or weird , Plus girls always say how they find me very good looking and attractive... so if an attractive guy whom you showed a lot of interest in is talking to you and showing genuine interest and being respectful , why lose interest in a short period of time ( few days ) or just stop replying when you were the first one to actually show him you liked him?

to make it weirder when iam actually an asshole and act like i need no girls, girls start giving me a lot of attention, i guess its true, be an asshole and girls will love you...

[kaylaS91]

It's easy to lose interest if your 'relationship' is purely online.
It's probably just a coincidence that it generally happens shortly after you told them you're interested. I mean.. whether you'd done that or not, it's hard to commit to someone who you don't even see or talk with in rl.

[Asker]

all of these girls are girls i see around campus and after a month or more of constant staring atn eye contact i usually add them , say hi, talk with them and move to actually meeting them face to face cause i realize its much more useful and needed... but take this girl for example , for the past 5-6 months she kept staring at me, holding eye contact, checking me out, and smiling at me i felt kinda weird, why is this girl acting like iam the only dude at college? so i decided to add her on fb and find out, she accepted (shes hot btw) we chatted for few hours and i told her i will be seeing her around, she said cool with a smiley face, a couple days later i mentioned how i haven't seen her around on campus, we had a back and forth chatting for about half an hour then she started talking longer to reply, with shorter sentences, and finally i sent her a message and she replied after a day with a cat face ( keep in mind she was online all the time so not busy enough to not respond)

[kaylaS91]

umm none of the things she's done would indicate any sort of interest in you. Those are all things I'd do to be friendly out of courtesy more than anything else, if a random guy I saw often on campus added me on FB. I accepted a guy's friend's request just the other day, as a matter of fact. It says he goes to my uni and I'd be friendly if he spoke with me- which doesn't mean I'm in any way interested. You're probably thinking her actions mean way more than they actually do.

[Asker]

Really? So let me get this straight, you usually find a guy at campus, a complete stranger that doest even study the same thing as you, stare the shit out of him for months, smile at him and ignore other guys when he's around cause you're eyes are locked on him and when he adds you on facebook and says hi you just think he's being "Friendly" iam sorry i expected a different answer from you, given that you're 24 i actually expected a real advice or a real reason , but like 99% of girls you're just gonna say " i do that to everyone" well explain that to most guys i know who find girls treating me like super weird since they can't get a girl to look their way if they paid her.

[Asker]

your*

[kaylaS91]

I don't stare at anyone on campus because I'm a well-mannered human being and staring is rude af. (Sorry that I wasn't able to give you the 'advice' you're going to keep looking for until you get it but... hope you accept reality for what it is sooner than later. :) )

[Asker]

reality? what reality you can't even say the truth and give a useful answer , whatever your reality is, iam pretty sure its not the kind of reality anyone else has.

[kaylaS91]

reality is your surroundings and how interactions between people in them work. If you attribute things as happening due to completely different reasons than what everyone else thinks on multiple occasions.. you're the common denominator. You're the one in a 'reality' of your own.

[Asker]

at 24 and you still dont understand basic attraction rules, i wonder how you got that boyfriend of yours to being with, if you dont realize such basic things that show attraction then iam afraid my reality is the real one, according to you literally nothing in the world women do shows they like a guy, you're making sound like women are somekind of super humans with the ability to hide everything without men ever finding out, but the reality is different , in reality women get just as excited when they see a hot guy looking their way, they stare back, they want him to say hi and they show interest in him , they make so many mistakes that men pick up on, you think you're actions go unnoticed? think again

[kaylaS91]

A guy within the same age bracket as myself who made a post online, bitching about how a girl he was exchanging stares with rejected him, telling me, a girl who is in a lt relationship and still not short of hopeful suitors in rl, that I don't understand the rules of basic attraction? LOOOOL. Well, either way, I still understand how attraction works far better than yourself.

[Asker]

no you dont you live in a fantasy world i've seen you commenting on other question , your version of reality is far from the real reality, in all your answers you make women sound like amazonian warriors who men can never even scratch let alone understand if they like them or not , you give yourself way too much value and trust me you have nothing worth bitching about if thats you in the picture so stop acting like you know what you're talking about cause you're not even half way there. as for being rejected... doesn't it require me asking her out or something first? i never did it so that means i never got rejected, if i remember correctly she replied to every single one o my messages, plus i've dated before and the girl i dated was much more realistic than you.

[kaylaS91]

'make women sound like amazonian warriors' LOOOL you're rich. The girl you dated was 'much more realistic' than myself but.. obviously not realistic enough for the relationship to last. Better luck next time.

[Asker]

its hard to last when you move to another country, dont try to talk about things you know nothing about

[kaylaS91]

I'm not talking about moving to another country? Don't try to talk about things that weren't even part of the conversation next time.

[ausername88]

I personally dont lose interest once a guy starts pursuing, im more intrigued and interested if it's mutual, doesn't make much sense to like a guy who doesn't like you back or put in effort

[Asker]

Well i too feel excited when talking to a girl i like who seems to like me as well, so when girls show interest, and are happy talking to me then out of no where stop responding i kinda get confused, especially since iam not really saying anything wrong or bad just a normal conversation.

[ausername88]

yeah I dont understand other girls sometimes, and I also don't get why guys try to hide how much they like you and over compensate playing cool and cross over to being kind of jerky

[ausername88]

I think its great when a guy shows what he is really feeling regardless of other factors (people, fear of rejection)