Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
So I am your typical twenty three year old woman. I work, finishing my Bachelors and pay a fair share of bills. Only one thing: your “average woman” is interested in intimacy. Wants to find a boyfriend. Have a group of friends. Live their life to the fullest. I don’t fall within this genre.
I have no friends, only a few acquaintances and that’s okay. When I was in high school, all of the people I considered friends at that time were interested in dating and hooking up with their crush. I only had one crush and that was my junior year. Not surprisingly, it didn’t turn into anything. I thought no one liked me and when I was a senior, a few guys seemed to actually show interest in me. I took it with a grain of salt and rejected them all. I thought it stemmed from being selective and would wait when someone of my preference popped up.
Let's flash forward to this year. I had my first short term relationship and had sex too. While I wasn’t completely attracted to his physical appearance, he had a great sense of humor and we shared a lot of common interests. The time came to discuss sex and let it happen naturally. It was terrifying. I cried when it happened. Painful. Sweaty. A lot of physical exertion.
We broke up a few months later. The “relationship” was long distance thanks to his job. Our conversations and being apart kept the anticipation to meet up stimulating. The more we saw each other, the more I doubted the progression of things. One night before our planned vacation, we had sex and I felt nothing. A lack of connection led us to go in different directions.
A few weeks ago, I began talking with a guy I met online. He seemed intelligent. Kind. Down to earth. Funny. A gamer. My kind of guy. We met up in person for the first time last week and things went well. We’ve been speaking everyday since that occurrence and met up yesterday for our second date. Since I always attributed my single status to being picky, I figured I would feel something more passionately compared to my ex because of his education and better looks. When we met up last night, that feeling that came over me when my ex and I had sex the last time presented itself. That daunting feeling of wanting to end the night as soon as possible.
I saw it coming. His attempt to kiss me. He ran his fingers through my hair and asked to kiss me. I said I couldn’t. I felt terrible for how things ended. He seemed like a good guy to have around and didn’t have an interest in keeping things platonic, as he was looking for a relationship. He thought I led him on and believed that I was looking for the same thing he was: a long-term partner. And I thought that’s what I wanted too. I am not usually the type to be conniving and attempt to hurt others intentionally. I had to let him know it wasn’t him, it was me and no other guy I met during this time frame was the cause of my aloofness. I cannot confirm whether or not he bought that.
I’ve never been sexually abused. I don’t masturbate. The closest thing to arousal is seeing a male celebrity I fancy or imagining being intimate with someone I believe I like, that guy I ended seeing yesterday was an example. I don’t know where this lack of sexual drive comes from. A fear of intimacy? Possibly. Am I gay? I don’t think so. Women are beautiful but I cannot see myself being intimate with one either. My Psychiatrist cannot fix me either. Comment below if anyone feels this way or knows of someone with similar traits. We are like unicorns and leprechauns, presumed to be non-existent.
What Girls & Guys Said
29 62Don't worry, I'm also an asexual dolphin.
I wouldn't have sex on the second date too, but I wouldn't call myself asexual. Make sure you fa for someone before trying sex and you'll see the difference... Just because you don't feel confortable sleeping with a strangers doesn't mean you are asexual. Why would allow someone inside you without allowing them into your heart? I don't fall for anyone either, you can't force love, it either comes or not.
I wouldn't feel comfortable sleeping with a guy I have no feelings for and many people wouldn't either. That should be the decent thing to do opposed the our hookup culture where sleeping with strangers is a norm.
Well you're obviously introverted, which is 100% A OK normal and all that, but I don't think that's at the root of your sexual situation.
If your Psychiatrist can't "fix" you then I doubt a random from the inter will be able to either, though I imagine the only person who can fix you is you.
It seems to me from what you've said that perhaps your issue is moving to sexual intimacy before you are ready to go that far. Like maybe you just need to move slower with the physical stuff, slowly progress into more and more sexual activity with your partner as you naturally feel comfortable with it.
Just a guess but it almost seems like you're having a self preservation reaction to sex, probably because it makes you incredibly vulnerable to someone you're not ready to be that vulnerable with. Or maybe you need to feel like you've got more control over the experience, as in how far you go, when you stop etc.. and perhaps that is a hard thing to ask from a guy?
i knew a girl like this, i told her to start lifting and eating read meats one to two times a day (steak and stuff) she said it fixed her, and something you should do is get your hormones checked and just cuz the doc says there fine doesn't mean there fine, ask for a copy and upload a pic of it on reddit,(cover your name and such) and tell them your problem and ask people if you'r levels are good, post it in a fitness reddit thread where its meant for juiceheads. anyways i hope that helps.
You shouldn’t eat red meats no more than three times per week. You’re leading her down a path towards an increased risk in cancer, especially colon.
there is no free lunch, its a trade of, in those study's people who eat MacDonalds are put together with people who eat healthy meats, so it's not as dangerous as most people think, if your eating steak you don't need to worry about that like you would if your eating fast food meats, besides carbs are what kill people not meats, look into the keto diet, you eat meat almost every meal and everyone i know that does it is 50 times healthier than most people i know, besides carbs cause cancer much more than eating meat's do.
Maybe you just have an extremely low sex drive?
I know a woman who says, 'I have no friends.' I asked her: what about Mary? You talk to her every week and sometimes go shopping together. She said 'oh no, that's only an acquaintance.'
I am sure that those who are closest to you actually are your friends. So you could be a bit generous and call those acquaintances your friends.
As for the male celebrity you like, scalp it now, and next time you make out with a guy, put this scalp on his face. Once it will work, maybe you will understand how to turn yourself on.
You somehow got demotivated in sexual relationships. Do you like this? If yes, you are fine. If not, then go for it. A young woman does not need much to get some sexual experience. You have everything; just be a bit kinder to other people. You will give, men will take. He that giveth shall not lack. Very soon you will understand what you want to take.
You will no more be only giving.
Peace...
I disagree with it!..
Unless proven with psychological analysis!..
You just need the right kind of men!..
Who know correct coding sequence to enter the "Launch codes" to set off your missiles of pleasure!.
Please PM me I will love to see your perception of world without sexual pleasure
Is asexuality a period in life or lifelong?
That may depend on the person?
You take yourself too seriously. And your picker is awful.
When or if you ever find the RIGHT guy it will all come together. In the meantime this is all a bunch of gobbledy-gook - just a bunch of feelings and emotions swirling around in your head - of which any connection to reality is fleeting.
My picker? How I pick men?
Correct.
Interesting! My sister has actually complained to me about a similar sort of feeling. I guess some people just don't have any interest in sex.
Well at that point live your life. I'm sure if someone came along that truly peeked youd interest you would follow suit. Considering your still young I would give it time before labeling yourself.
You're not asexual, you're just bitter/fat/depressed.
Much appreciated fellow pariah
Asexuality is quite common in women , nothing to worry about. Much rarer in males.
How old are you anyway give it a chance start dating guys
I clearly stated I’m 23 and been on dates.
I only read the headlines
Thank you for sharing
Sounds like a hormonal imbalance. It's quite unusual to have absolutely "zero" sex drive, but it also sounds like you're afraid. Not just afraid of intimacy, you're A F R A I D of everything and anything unknown. BUT... if that turns out not to be true, and you just have no interest in sex or physical intimacy and still feel like a whole person, then fuck it. Be that way and be happy with it.
The main question is can you be happy that way. If so there is no problem.
"a male celebrity I fancy"
loser alrt.
Not sure how old you are but they say women's sexual prime starts at 30.
I think first of all you feel guilty for the last guy becouse you two were actually getting along really good and this thing happened somehow you wanted to have a sexual intercourse with him but your mind/soul was not in the mood. I believe you are too stressed over this and should chill a bit also it is not only your fault I mean the guys seem pretty eager to get to actions too. I think you should actually try to find somebody out there who doesn't want sex not in the first month, not in the first year maybe not even in the first few years, somebody who just lets you be comfortable with yourself and if you want them they will feel it not just be horny and not able to control themselves in the end I do believe nobody needs to hurry things with you. Asexual is more of a thing I do not think it is important if you are or not I am not sure why you try to quickly label yourself, does it matter if you are asexual or not? I mean it is still you and should embrace the natural you and who you are without overthinking who you are it is not that is any kind of bad thing whatever you are.