Why I Don't Always Let My Boyfriend Cum

Why I don't always let my boyfriend cum

I had a fairly typical relationship with my boyfriend for a long while before he started hinting that deep down he felt he might be more of a submissive. It took him a while before I could get him to openly admit that he felt happier when I was in charge and it took me a while to get the confidence the be genuinely dominant in the bedroom.

I also made it very clear to him that if this is how things are going to be for the long term then he cannot do what they call being the dom from the bottom. That is basically asking to be "dominated" but then telling the person in charge what you want done and choosing when it gets done.

If he wanted me to take charge it was going to be genuine or not at all. We had a long talk about it one night while cuddled up in bed and I drifted off to sleep contemplating where the hell this would end up going.

The next few weeks were somewhat of a test for us. I wanted to see if his desire was genuine or just a passing horny fantasy of a young man and whether or not I could comfortably give him what he apparently craved. I think he ate more pussy in those few weeks than our whole previous relationship combined. I completely ran the show in the bedroom and I think the thing that caught him most off guard is that even though we engaged in sexual activity almost every day I never let him cum once. I would sit on his face and orgasm all over it, I would ride him or let him fuck me and I even gave him a hand job. But in every instance I made him stop and get dressed again every time he got close to cumming. This was my way of testing him. I had him doing dishes, cooking dinner and rubbing my back all with the aim of being allowed a release.

I was surprised how well he handled it. I knew it must have been torture but he persevered and stayed genuine to what he was asking for and never complained once.

After his 3 weeks were up I toned things down a bit and we had more of a normal relationship except now the tables had turned and I was the one who was generally in charge. One thing I haven't changed though is his lack of orgasm. Sometimes I do allow him to cum but other times I just wait till he is close and say NO!! and maybe make him wait a few more days. I think the thrill of not knowing is a major turn on for him and it has advantages for me.

For instance, he is just generally hornier. Not giving him release every single time means that he is always up for it and he appreciates the feeling of sex and doesn't just rush to the end (because he knows he may not get it anyway). He gets erections much more easily, all I have to do is run my finger up his legs and I can see the bulge in his pants.

The best part of it all is that now he shows a real true desire for me. I'll walk into the room in my nice lingerie and he looks at me in a different way. After 4-5 nights of sex with no orgasm it feels as though he NEEDS me and craves my body. The way he touches me and makes love to me is so much more genuine than before.

So I guess what I'm trying to say as a bottom line is that I've learnt that sometimes its not all about the orgasm. I think both men and woman can benefit from just letting that fire thats burning between our legs get that much hotter before we need to "relieve it". Instead of trying to relieve ourselves as soon as we get horny I think its great to just enjoy the feeling of being horny as a pleasure in itself. It makes us raw and passionate and after seeing the effects of it on my man I have embraced it myself and will often now just embrace my arousal on its own and let it make me more and more crazy for my man.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Heh. My man has had me at the point where HIS orgasms are a reward for ME, pretty much since we met. It actually hits ME right in the heart when he's "done" without finishing (... although the boy can keep going, so, "finishing" isn't an accurate word).

    If the kids aren't around and I want my man to do more housework (... which THANK GOD isn't something I have to actively encourage -- this house is populated by people who just Get Shit Done when it has to get done), then, I'll just put on my sluttiest clothes and turn the #bimbogame up to the max.
    Like... "try" to wash a dish... and get "frustrated". It's too hardddddd! I need a MAN to scrub all this shit off! 😂😂😂😍😍 And then once the boy is at it -- and DAMN GURL he looks good doing things around the house shirtless (or everythingless!) -- I'll be like "This is bullshit! You haven't fucked meeeee in almost twenty minutes! You don't LOVE me anymoreeeeee!"
    If I REALLY want shit to get hot, I'll be like "Maybe I need to find some new boyfriends who actually wanna fuck me" and start sauntering out the door. Ohhhh shit I get it for that 😍 That boy literally drags me screaming back through the door, and it's ON. #hatefuckingisthebestfucking

    __

    If we're being honest here, I just think it's funny when people label themselves as "the dom" (especially with a capital "D"... gawwwwd, at least you didn't do THAT shit) and "the sub".

    First, that whole bit just seems so... childish. Like watching kids playing in a sandbox, when I see people write about "dom" and "sub". As if anything is ever that black-and-white... I mean, labeling one person as 100% "dom" is kinda like thinking that a real-life person is 100% "good" or 100% "evil", like the characters in kids' cartoons.

    Second -- On top of that... **Real** "dominance" is fundamentally different for men and women -- and the two aren't even in conflict.
    Male dominance is physical, and it's overwhelming. Female dominance is emotional, and it's subtle, seductive, and subconscious -- the kind of thing that makes a man WANT to **commit** to a woman.
    This is the biggest reason why the popular notions of "dom" and "sub" are laughable -- because they come from pretty much complete ignorance of these fundamentals.

    __

    I mean, look, I'm not picking a fight with you here. On one of yr main points -- specifically, that the long-game tease is WAY better than just rubbing one out as soon as horniness hits -- I agree completely. In fact, in THAT sense, having children has

    • made my sex life with my husband (which has always been a wet dream come true) even BETTER. I wrote about our typical tension here, and in the post (s) linked from here:
      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2170898-parents-who-have-a-sex-life-still-do-you-re-kids-know-you-still-have

      So, about that part, yeah.

      But, this whole thing with trying to control someone else's orgasm... I mean, I dunno, it seems so artificial.

      It also seems like the boy wouldn't stand for it. Like, I would think that either (1) he LIKES the tension of sex without orgasming every time -- which is very possible (lots of boys have a pretty dramatic, energy-sapping "comedown" after they cum... a cumdown? lmao), or else (2) he'd just get frustrated and stop wanting to fuck you, because he knows you might just keep frustrating him.

      and tbh -- if a boy just played along with this kind of thing, I'd lose a MASSIVE amount of respect for him. Srry but I just can't, with a boy who so willingly submits to blatant manipulation.

    • And -- How do you know the boy isn't just rubbing one out after you're done playing yr little games? Srs question

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What Girls Said

(11)
  • Does it bother you when he masturbates and orgasms to get a release on his own?

  • This is a cool idea, truly. One question, do you feel sexually satisfied? Personally, I take a while to orgasm. If he's very pent up, wouldn't he get close quickly? Do you do a lot of foreplay before penetration? Where do you find the physical satisfaction, not the mental.

  • Hmm you might get some hate for this lol.

  • God. Wow. I should try this, holy hell. Idek if my friends with benefits gets off but like, I like the idea of torturing him like this and him lustng for me to further sit on his face. Lmao.

    • It works! My husband has become more and more submissive the last few years. I do a bossy/sexy thing with him, deny him orgasm for over a week, ask him to kiss my smelly feet, and restrain him so I can tickle him. He’s like a helpless horny boy at my mercy! I show him no mercy! If he really needs to come, is having his balls tickled with my cheesy bare feet in his face, he often weeps with desire…. I love it!

  • Wow, how erotic!! Thanks for sharing this!!

  • WOW! So gonna try this!

  • It does not work. I liked a guy very much and wanted to take thing slow. The first night we cuddled and he wanted me, I did not let him. He got very upset and pissed.

  • i would let him to do whatever he wants

  • Gonna try this...😊

  • You go sister.

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