Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I've been seeing a lot of questions on here about people's number of sexual partners, which number would be too high, and if it's an overall deal breaker.
I understand why promiscuity is a turnoff. I mean I've never heard anyone say oh great my partner or date has been around whether it's a guy or girl in spite of the stud/slut double standard. I mean promiscuity is promiscuity regardless of gender. Yes, it's easier for women to get laid but no one is forcing men to get laid or sleep around when they are able to. I just don't see how there's anything to benefit from having these conversations.
If you've ever seen the movie Clerks, you know these kinda conversations don't end well.
I've been dating the same girl for the past 3 months and at no point has she shared how many guys she's slept with nor did she ask me how many girls I've slept with. I never asked her either because personally I don't want to know. Whether she's been with 1 or 20, I don't care to hear the details. Whether the sex was good or bad, what positions she did with who, and how often, it's just not something I really care to think about.
I've had some messed up situations with finding out about a girl's sexual past where they either just blurted out too many personal details early on or left evidence behind and it wasn't like I asked them. One girl spent the whole date going on about her number of partners, how she had sex with 2 guys with the same name as the busboy who walked by, how she slept with her ex 2 days before our date, how they're sex addicts and other stuff. It made me very uncomfortable. Another girl talked about how she had an abortion on the first date and felt the need to tell me how she rushed home to take a pregnancy test and caught by a train then had her period. What possessed her to tell me that? I have no idea. Then another time a girl didn't share her sexual history with me but invited me to her apartment on the 3rd date, told me to go into her bedroom to have sex and when i went in there, there was a condom wrapper clearly from another guy just laying on the bed. Very fucked up.
Now I'm not one to slut shame, but all I'm saying is it's a 2 way streak. A guy boasting about his sex life to a girl is just as weird as girl doing it to a guy. I just figure that a girl has most likely had sex with other guys before me and don't need to know the rest. I just don't wanna think or picture the details of a girl's sexual past. And it's not out of jealousy or possessiveness. What matters is that they're with me now and how they treat me? I wouldn't hold someone's past against them just like I wouldn't want them holding my past against me.
Now what I DO care about are these three things:
1. Does she have an STD? - for health reasons
2. Does she have a kid? - Nothing against single moms or kids, but having a kid does get in the way and I'm not exactly wanting to take care of a kid that's not mine.
3. Does she cheat? I've heard the phrase that if she has more partners, she's more likely to cheat. That can be true in some instances but it's not all black and white like that. By the end of the day, a cheater is a cheater, regardless of partners.
By the way I am not encouraging anyone to sleep around. But if you do so, be safe about it. The reason I don't ask these questions is once you know, it'll be in the back of your head. As the old saying goes, don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.
What Girls & Guys Said
14 19I don't ask women their cock-count for the same reason I don't ask a public toilet how many asses have shat in it. I won't get a true answer from either, and I don't care anyhow.
Remember guys, whether toilets or women, they are never yours. It's just your turn.
I don't want a girl who's handled more cawks than a urologist.
You could have made this made shorter. Here:
Why I don't ask about my partners sexual history? I'm a cuck.
Simple.
Nope, not a cuck
Are you sure? I mean, you're cool with dating some chicks who's been over 50 dudes including people you know right?
He is a cuck
@Kakaky what good comes out of these conversations?
@Kakaky Exactly. make sure you stay away from pussy whipped guys like him.
I don't know if you're trolling or not but nothing from here indicates that I'm pussy whipped.
I will never date a guy who is OK with women having a high body count
i would wonder
Wonder what?
I agree on some levels. I mean too early on can just be offputting. Male or female.
But I feel if your mature enough in your relationship, past relationships do come. up regardless. Being either from family, friends or even social media. So its better just to address them.
Yeah it really depends on the details shared. Like if a girl had an abortion or reveals her number of partners down the road that's one thing , after the relationship is established, but I still don't care to hear how good or bad the sex was with any of her previous partners. And that goes both ways.
Oh yeh I get that as you dont need to know their sexual performance but I mean like the abortion might come up say if they were trying to have a baby. But these cases its down the line
True. I could understand them discussing abortion if I were to get them pregnant, but hearing they got pregnant from someone else and aborted it before we dated, I just don't need to hear about it. And I'm 100% pro choice.
Most simps have a don't ask, don't tell policy because they fear truth and are desperate. Most promiscuous people have a lie if asked, and don't tell policy because they fear truth and consequence.
As far as I'm concerned, if you are proud of your life then you won't have any problems telling others about it. How many of you accomplish something you are proud about and when someone asks about it, you reply ''nothing good will come out of this conversation'' or ''the past is the past''.
Frame it however you want, all of this comes down to people being afraid of having standards (because they know most people could never live up to even the most basic ones), and people with questionable pasts are afraid of missing out in the rare chance someone might actually have some standards. Fear of consequence and shame...
Either way, since I no longer date...
https://i.imgflip.com/biok3.jpg
These days people who are virgins are also hiding it in shame of being called prude (since having actual standards seems to be such a rarety), but I agree with everything you wrote. The past is rarely dead and buried.
@dipta This society is like a backwards land, where up is down, and wrong is seen as right. Look at how many guys are afraid of being called nice and how much men that sleep around are seen as some kind of champion. A male virgin would be shamed and bullied at any work place that discovered he was one. This is all a product of an ego centric society that lacks wisdom and depth.
Yeah virgins get shamed, but men who sleep around don't really get praised either except by other men who do the same. I've never heard a girl brag and say my man's so great, he's slept with so many women.
I've also had women accuse me of playing them and sleeping around when there was nothing that warranted that.
To be honest, and it's not something I'm particularly proud of, I had similar issues in trusting my now boyfriend because the way society works. I mean, most men that ask a woman on a date aren't really interested in her, they just wanna score and have fun. Then you kinda have to accept that "that's how men are, every man will cheat, gotta enjoy while you're young because later no man will want you, no man wants to get married, etc.", so it just became the default for how men are seen, at least from my perspective. I think most men will even say so themselves. In my case, the beginning stage of the relationship served also to cultivate that trust, but it took time, will and patience until we believed the other person had no hidden intentions. Of course women as well cannot be easily trusted these days. People can't be trusted. It's a dog's world.
... you really don't need a take to figure this out, really...
Well considering how many questions related to someone's number of partners there's been lately, I thought I'd chime in.
Hmm, makes sense. Not everyone is equally wise I guess.
Good questions to ask and the most important. I ask about past defined relationships how they met, what he liked about them, why they broke up and what the longest relationship was. It is good to see what he cares about in a person, and these questions reveal whether they broke up because he cheated etc. I don't ask numbers, names, jobs etc. I also ask to get tested together to make sure we both are clean before we have sex. I agree on the "having kids is a problem" thing because I dated a single dad and I would not do that again as the kid is always priority and many things get cancelled because of kid and kid's mom.
However, I got asked a lot about my previous partners. Especially by the last one because he didn't believe I was 27 and I had just 2 partners. He said it was a turnoff because I must be very inexperienced in sex as he said even before we had sex. I had 2 relationships both last about 3 years and I lost my virginity when I was 21 so it is normal that i just had 2 partners because i dont cheat or do casual things.
He, on the other hand, said he got laid with about 10 partners first. Then he said 4 partners, then he said 13. It drives me nuts because he never get tested either in his life, and he refused to get tested with me as well simply because "he never had unprotected sex". So I had to dump him.
Asking numbers is ridiculous and it works negative ways in any direction whether inexperience or being promiscuous.
Yeah exactly. It's like what number is perfect for the person as to what they consider not to be too inexperienced for promiscuous?
Most women never ask me about my number of partners. They just ask if I have a condom and I'm clean before sex. That's it and I find that reasonable. I'm just saying why would you wanna think about who they had sex with before you as you're having sex, regardless of their number.
You could as well called this mytake "how i got HPV.
Very well written, but I did have one observation. The women that just came out and told you they slept with this or that person, or had abortions, etc... didn't that actually help inform you on your decisions to stay or not stay with them? I mean, to me, someone who is willing to just outright overshare is a major red flag and usually something I'd rather discover sooner rather than later, because if he, in my case, is talking that much about someone else, who do you think is next on that list? I think there is a distinction between just saying a number, and as you say, going into deep details, times, dates, whatever. If it truly has no baring on how you feel about that person, than them simply saying a number in theory should not bother you because you are with them and they are with you. That girl saying to you, oh yeah, you know, I just sleep with just about anyone it's fun---let's you know, if you are the serious relationship type, this girl and I most likely aren't going to work out. There is some merit to it if it helps you waste less time on people whom you know will ultimately cause problems for you now or down the road. Now obviously if everything is causal, and you intend and they intend to keep it that way, then whatever...
Yeah I see what you're saying. And yeah it's not just about their number, but also how they carry themselves and their attitude/personality.
I wouldn't date a guy who slept with a lot of women. That's just me.
To each their own.