Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I am 24 years old and I am still a virgin. You may think I am some really fugly bitch sitting right in front of the computer but no.I would safely say I am at least quite pretty. I have many offers for modeling, commercials and even movie roles but I never got into those because my passion lies in science and psychology. Since I was young I was a never an ugly girl; I never really had an ugly phase. However, my sister who's two years older than me has sexcapades she would proudly brags to me about, and sometimes it makes me wonder if I am the less attractive sister. You may tell me there could be something wrong with my personality and character but ironically, that isn't true.
During high school, I was known as the prettiest girl in school and almost everyone agrees on that, but no guys formally ever asked me out on a date, and I never had a boyfriend through high school. I had crushes but all of them liked my sister. When I asked my good guy friend what's wrong with me, he told me he didn't feel it's my problem.
Maybe its because I'm just a hopeless romantic. I dream of a fulfilling first relationship, one that lasts and I would think back fondly and smile at. Unlike my sister whose so vivacious and enthusiastic, especially when it comes to relationships, I'm more shy and reserved. She would openly let guys know what she wants from them and for some reason manage to make them beg for more. She enjoys the feeling of the chase where she's treated in a way that makes her feel good. However, I'm interested in a genuine relationship, one with no games, one where I feel sparks and passion. She has very high expectations whereas I almost have none except for the guy to be sincere about the relationship.
In high school I told myself that it's okay to still be a virgin. At least I'm not going to lose it to some guy I don't want to remember for the rest of my life. However, things changed when I moved on to college. I had a fair amount of suitors during college but none developed into any form of relationship. I'm pretty honest and if one asks me I would honestly say I am a virgin. Being in college, most of my friends and classmates had long since lost their virginity and me being a fresh bud always seems out of place.
No one wanted to be my friend because everyone assume I'm some religious judgmental girl and therefore I kept my virginity. Those closer to me would try to hook me up with guys to lose my virginity as soon as possible, or some guys would approach me just because they wanted to 'help me' lose my virginity. Whenever I explain to someone about waiting for the right person and all that jazz, it always end up with them seeing me as naive or telling me its because I'm really unattractive.
When I met my first love at 20, he was already experienced in sex. However, we talked about our future together and all that. At least we went into the relationship with intentions of being together forever, whether it ended up that way or not. Although he was experienced and had ex girlfriends, I was his first love and he mine. I remember meeting his buddies for the first time. I never felt more awkward in my life. When they asked me questions about the amount of guys I dated and when I said he's the first, I would always remember their face. .
It was pure shock with confusion. Those boys are those kids who go around with different girls every month and have crazy party girls for a girlfriend. I don't see anything wrong with that; I'm just not that kind. However, their eyes made me feel like I was being judged big time for some weird reason. In this society many people are being slut-shamed for not being a virgin, yet girls who are virgins are being virgin-shamed. It makes me wonder what's in the minds of most.
If I'm ashamed of being a virgin, it isn't my fault. It's because of how this society is constructed. Whether you're a virgin or not doesn't make you who you are. Do what makes you happy. Now at 24, I lost my virginity to my then-boyfriend now-husband and it was the best decision of my life. Not because he's the one I'm married to, but I know even if we don't work out he's a guy I want to remember for life, and not some high school jock who asked me out and left me one week later.
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