Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Long story short, because I am tired of feeling like a loser.
I am a 20 year old virginal male. I have never had a girlfriend nor have women ever expressed interest in me whatsoever. The one time a woman did, it ended in disaster, and I was reduced to tears. I have done a lot of soul searching lately, and the conclusion I have come to is that I am never going to be normal. There is no hope for me. No matter what I do, my prospects are never going to improve.
I started going to the gym every single night and working out like a man with a reason, yet even with a better body, women still pay me no attention. I maintain a 4.0 GPA in college so that I can acquire a good career someday with a lot of money, yet women still view me as a nerd. I even have a job with a relatively large chunk of savings in the bank, and that still does nothing for me.
No matter what I do, women are never going to like me and that is just a fact I have come to accept. I am always going to be shy, I am always going to have social anxiety, and I am never going to be able to "fit in" or be a social butterfly. Frankly, if I ever want to have sex - good, enjoyable quality sex - a prostitute is about my only hope. I know deep down that it is wrong. It goes against everything that I have ever believed in being Eastern Orthodox. It goes against the way my mother brought me up. Every fiber of my being tells me that this is wrong, and I know my guardian angel and patron St. Augustine of Hippo must be weeping on my behalf as I type this, but I simply cannot do it anymore.
I am tired of feeling so alienated for being a virgin, like I am so abnormal and misplaced, not fitting in with the world around me.
That is the whole reason why I have decided to do this. It has nothing to do with my own pleasure or desire for sex. Rather, it has to do with how much of a loser I feel like for being a virgin. The pain has gotten so bad to where I literally cannot take it anymore. I am not sure the majority of people realize just how frustrating and alienating this is, to be a virgin in the 21st century. Sex is literally everywhere. No matter where you go, it is inescapable. From television to magazines and even conversations among friends and coworkers, our entire world revolves around Sex. And thus not going along with it is extremely painful, frustrating, and alienating to say in the least.
I am tired of feeling abnormal, like I do not fit in. I am tired of feeling alienated, like there is something wrong with me, like I am a weirdo for not going along with the ways of the world. I have spent hours in prayer to my patron St. Augustine, studying his life for inspiration. I have soaked my bed with tears, reciting the Psalms. I have gone to Confession every Saturday night.
But the pain has not ceased. I have tried opening up to everyone who said that they would be there for me, but in the end they have not been true to their word. My relationship with my father is irreparable because I have never forgiven him for the way he used to treat my mother when I was growing up. I have few if any friends and they all expect for me to be the one giving them advice. Even my priest has grown tired of me and no longer bothers responding to my emails.
Perhaps worst of all, not even my mother whom I adore has been there for me, even though she said that she would.
Almost a year ago today, I completely poured out my heart to my mother, explaining to her everything that has been bothering me and how I have been feeling. I also confessed to self harming, and she promised that she would be there for me. She said that she would get me help, and that she would respond to the best of her effort to my questions. Yet almost a year has passed, and she has done absolutely nothing. In her defense, it has been a busy year. My father lost his job. We underwent a move.
There have been health complications in the family. And I have tried to remain patient, doing my best to "suck it up" and pretend to be functional when I am not. But I am at that point now where I can no longer do it. Yet I am so afraid to tell my mother because I do not want to make her feel rushed or angry, yet I feel so sad that she has not been there for me yet. I feel as if I am a lesser priority, or that she loves me less now. And it is truly killing me inside.
Every night I have to resist the urge to cry whenever I hug my mother before bed. I cannot sleep because I have that nervous feeling at the pit of my stomach. I have become an insomniac. Whenever I look in the mirror I feel ashamed, like I hate myself for being a virgin. I feel like there is something wrong with me, like I am a loser because women do not like me. I see the scars all over my thighs and I grow to hate myself even more. Yet I have to hide it and put on a happy face for work and school. I have to hold back tears whenever anyone shows me kindness. Sometimes I drive over to the local Jack in the Box and just cry in the parking lot. And I lie to my mother, telling her that nothing is wrong and that I am happy even though everything is wrong and I feel like a loser.
I am a male virgin and I do not fit in.
The only reason I have not killed myself yet is because I do not want to abandon my little sister the same way my uncle abandoned my mother back when she was a little girl and he took his own life. Unfortunately I am in this life for the long haul, even though I would much rather be dead. But I have resolved to live because I love my little sister too much. And because I want to make my mom proud.
Therefore,
I have resolved to lose my virginity to a prostitute. The plan is to keep on saving money and travel to Nevada next year after I turn 21 in February. There I will visit a brothel and do it the legal way, so that I am not supporting human trafficking or the abominable criminal enterprise known as illegal prostitution.
Now at this point, I know that a lot of you must be asking why a prostitute and not just a regular promiscuous woman. The answer is quite simple. Apart from the fact that promiscuous women are actually very selective, sleeping only with the top 10% of males - thus making prostitution my only viable option - the fact remains that I am tired of the gynocentric hypocrisy of the modern West.
I am so sick and tired of women and particularly liberal feminists justifying their own promiscuity, one-night stands, and whoredom while simultaneously condemning men like me for resorting to prostitutes, as if it were any different.
I am tired of these sexually "liberated" sluts and "open-minded" Cosmo feminist bitches engaging in every sexual abomination imaginable and promoting a culture of promiscuity that would make even Sodom and Gomorrah blush, only to then turn around and tell me that prostitution is somehow evil.
These women are nothing but total Hypocrites!
The fact remains that it is extremely easy for women to get sex. They do not have to make any effort whatsoever. Even the most unattractive and overweight women can score with an average guy who is above her league. But men are not afforded this same luxury. Sex for us is a challenge. Only the top 10% to 20% of us can actually have sex with whoever we want whenever we want. The rest of us are fighting an uphill battle just to have sex within our own league. The reason why? Because approximately 90% of all the women - certainly the sluts and promiscuous ones - are sleeping only with the top 10% to 20% of the men at the very top of the totem pole.
The vast majority of men including average fellows like myself are Shit Outta Luck. We are not afforded the luxury of being able to have casual sex whenever we want. Prostitutes are the only women who fill this void - frankly, the only women who are not as conceited, selfish, and judgmental as the vast majority of women who would never give us the time of day. And yet, these same women and particularly the "progressive" liberal feminist ones who pride themselves on their promiscuity are the same women who want to keep prostitution outlawed. Why? Because they do not want regular men like me to be able to enjoy the same luxury that every woman enjoys.
They do not believe that regular men like me deserve sex or are entitled to the same easy access to it that every woman enjoys.
The very notion of male pleasure in itself is disgusting to them because liberal feminism is an inherently misandristic and gynocentric ideology that hates men. Prostitutes fill a void for men like me, and therefore liberal feminists are opposed to it because they do not want men like me to be able to have sex. Well screw them and screw liberal feminism along with the abomination known as the Sexual Revolution which only benefited women and the top 10% of men. Screw the matriarchy along with Alfred Kinsey and Margaret Sanger whose graves I spit upon and hold in utter contempt.
I am a man and I deserve sex like everyone else!
For that matter,
Screw my religion, screw my God, and screw everyone who said that they would ever be there for me but was not. Hell, screw my own mother. I desperately tried getting help. I tried opening up and doing everything I can to get advice. All I wanted was advice, a hug, and some sympathy. But no one ever gave it to me. No one was ever there for me. I am tired of bearing the burden of feeling like a loser because I am a virgin. No longer will I deal with the alienation and pain. If people are going to judge me for it and my God is going to send me to Hell for it, then so be it. I did the best I could, but nobody was there for me. It was not my fault but their fault. Again I tried my very best. I did not fail, rather, everyone who was supposed to be there failed me.
So that is my plan, the pain of being a male virgin has grown too great that I can no longer bear it. I am tired of feeling alienated and not fitting in. I am going to have sex next year, but I am not going to have it according to the gynocentric standards of liberal feminists. I refuse to play their inherently broken and misandristic game. I am going to have sex according to my own standards, with a legal prostitute.
I am not sure what is going to happen, and again, this violates everything I have ever believed in and stand for. But I am only doing it because I am tired of feeling like a loser. No longer can I bear the pain of being a male virgin. Maybe I will have some big St. Paul on the Road to Damascus experience that will completely change my outlook on the way to Nevada next year. Maybe God will do something grant to call me back to himself like St. Mary of Egypt above, who was a prostitute. But unless that happens, I have a plan and I am not backing down from it.
Do not feel bad for me. Do not feel saddened that I have fallen this low. Instead, feel angry with yourself. YOU did this to me. YOU drove me this low. It was YOU, everyone who said that they would be there for me, my God, women, my Mother, who abandoned me. I am only dealing with my pain the best I possibly can.
And I feel no shame whatsoever.
What Girls & Guys Said
60 116Oh wow. I'm sure we could be great friends someday :) I share many of your opinions and I think that, from what you wrote, I might have been able to draw some conclusions. I apologize if they are completely wrong, but hear me out:
1. I took a look at your picture and let me just say you are a fine looking guy. I have personally witnessed easy women hitting on guys way below your level of attractiveness, ALL THE TIME. Believe me, they are not selective, but what most easy women have is something frightening, and that is usually a weakness for taken guys. Meaning, most promiscuous women are not that way simply cause they love sex (loving sex does not equal being promiscuous or a slut, I wish people would understand that). They are that way because of low self esteem. The feeling of actually taking a man from a woman (that's what it is, in their eyes) makes them feel good about themselves, and also mixed with the fact that they dont believe they deserve a man of their own... deadly combination, and very bad for the evolution of society. Many men complain that women are not interested in them until they have somebody. It is very common and very, very stupid.
2. Drawing from what I have written above, I am now convinced that your attitude is the only thing standing between you and either womanly attention or an actual meaningful relationship. You might think it is bullshit, but I bet you exude lack of confidence through your pores. People sense that.
3. There is no excuse, none whatsoever, for taking your life cause virginity makes u feel bad. Nope, nope, nope. Life is a responsibility, not a gift, not a journey or other such bullshit taken from motivational quotes. It is a responsibility, kind of a mission, so to say. And you are already evolved enough in order to view it as such (mentionning the feeling of responsibility you have towards your family and so on), which I applaud, so don't kill yourself please.
4. There are more virgins than you think in this world. I get what u say about feeling alienated, but don't doubt that u could find many people who are like this and understand your struggle. Hell, it should NOT be a struggle to be a virgin. It is the world who is upside down, not you. Courage, my friend!
Sure. Paying women for sex has been around for a very long time. Maybe even the oldest profession
Have fun. Let us know how it goes
Why not an escort
Isn't that just the same thing?
@Kiran04 Yes
Because it's more expensive maybe.
Asker leave out religion to explain lack of sex. Just live normal like a human being and improve your social skills. ✌🏻️
The best justification to lose your virginity to a prostitute I've ever read lol
Congrats man. Remember to pick the hot one. Don't settle for average. Find an escort with a master degree in psychology and probably schooled in seduction and a smoking hot body.
One of my buddy hired himself an escort in Vegas. Once they entered the elevator, she put on a collar and started to gripe and lick him... in front of another couple.
I'm not telling you not to do this, but if you do can you lay off the fire and brimstone a bit in the future? I mean apart from getting your first sexual experience I hope this will teach you not to be so condemning of more liberal-minded people.
Dude you are only 20, I'm 30 in a month and never dated or did anything with a girl, I would live to, just haven't been able to make anything happen. You need to try a bit harder, or change something
So away with the church then?
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Have you ever wondered that perhaps you're trying too hard or just adapting an extreme rigid inflexible view? I absolutely loathe the idea paying for sex, I'm not the only one who's having pleasure. She is too. I'm using her body and she mine. Virginity isn't your handicap man, its your mindset.
This is almost perfectly accurate to my situation now. I'm a few months from 20 and I save money solely for a trip to Nevada. I'm probably in a worse situation than you because I go to a party school, which makes it more pathetic. I've only saved money for that, though cuz I don't think I'll live long enough to see retirement. Just know there are others like you out there!
Just wow.
1. You've mentioned you have saved some money. Instead of whore, use them for psychotherapy. I don't mean it offensive. I'm serious. With prostitute you'll spend short time and trust me, it will make you feel even worse. Psychotherapy will teach you appreciate yourself and your days gonna be lighten up. And then your V Card won't be an issue anymore.
2. I was like you. I was going to Gym, alone with my mum and I was shy af when I should speak with some girl. Then I took one job. I know it was unusual job. In brothel. Biggest one in Prague. Those prostitutes taught me few things.
I wasn't shy anymore when I was talking to girl. I just get laid. And second and most important thing.
SELF CONFIDENCE is biggest aphrodisiac for women. You does not have to be rich. Or handsome. But with self confidence you can get women whose you consider out of your league.
this right here! lol i could have put the novel i wrote into fewer words.
that is so not the best idea because prostitutes carry all sorts of diseases
I hope you enjoyed it. No problem with this at all.
You "deserve sex" because you're a man? In spite of the fact they are beneath your notice, a lot of women don't get sex either!
Not that I think you're listening or open to it, but some of your posts suggest desperation and entitlement - unattractive qualities to both women AND men.
If you want to solicit the services of a sex worker, do it! I am not above such a thing myself. Haven't done it yet, but might! And I won't post about it either.
Good for you for keeping in shape and getting good grades. Here are two more steps to try:
1) Have fun - everyone is attracted to people who are obviously enjoying themselves. A smile and laughter are always more inviting than pain and desperation.
2) Put your energy into something else. Not getting a woman does not make you a loser. There are many games in life and therefore many ways to win. I suggest this because I believe women are attracted to men who don't need them. Be aloof and therefore more choosy. Don't go for women where it won't work out.
If a woman looks at you curiously and you cling yourself to them tightly like Saran Wrap, they're going to want to escape before they suffocate. This is just as true for men with clingy women.
Not that I think you're open to advice.
Enjoy your prostitute! Virginity is overrated! :D
You need to get help. You put way too much pressure on yourself. It seems everytime you post it's so dramatic. Wow your a virgin bc of religion pus reasons. So are half the other virgins on here. There's nothing wrong with that. Paying for sex will make you feel like shit. I don't know how much a hooked costs but when you nut in under five minutes and pay some ridiculous price you'll quickly regret it. You would have to wait easily another 3 years if you met someone today and got married quick just to get laid. So why rush it with some nasty broad from vegas?
You just need to get out and enjoy life. Go meet some people and live. That should bothering you more than if a girl pays attention to you. Even if you met a girl now interested in you, do you have anything interesting going on in your life to tell them about beside the 4.0 you throw around in most convos? If not then go Change that and be a guy girls want to date. Also with dating you have to go out there and make it happen, they don't come to you.
I honestly wasn't expecting you to be the OP when I clicked on this. I thought you were really religious and looked down on men who used prostitutes.
As a man, the world does not *owe* you sex. You do not *deserve* sex. You basically earn sex, either through obviously good genes, or through demonstrated good genes in the form of achievement.
Next, if you actually care, as you say you do, about pleasing a woman, then going with a prostitute is about as far as you can get from your avowed goal.
Prostitutes fake pleasure in order to get the deal done as quickly as possible, in order to get to the next paying customer.
It is your personal choice - My own view is hold out, you never know what may happen in the future but that said if you go the legal route in Nevada, while I have reservations about the whole profession, Nevada is probably one of the best client/girl friendly areas so in that sense it is a good decision.
I lost my V to a hooker at age 30. My regret is that I waited so long
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Dude it's not the end of the world, you're making my Emo little sister look mature.
It sounds like sex means more to you than anything else which means you've got issues. I say you should talk to a psychologist about it and try and figure out why you're so desperate for attention and why you think sex is the only way to get that attention. That's not normal as far as I know and it sounds just a touch rapey if I'm honest.
Best of luck and I'll get you something from hot topic next time we go to the mall.
Sex is much more impkrtant to men than to women. You wouldn't understand since most women would rather cuddle than have sex and only have sex if the guy can give them something else in return.
It is not so much about sex as much as it is about not feeling normal because I have not had it. Our world revolves around sex and by not having it, I feel weird and alienated.
@JRICHARDS1996 No, it's clearly about sex. The only one who knows you're a virgin is you unless you went around telling everyone about your lack of sex-life. If it bothers you you could easily lie if someone asked. The problem is you feel alone and you want a the physical contact and emotional pleasure of sex. I get what you're trying to say like it's not about being horny, but the fact is you're planning to pay a hooker for sex. Do you really think you're going to get any emotional support from some random woman who you're PAYING to give you attention? No, the real problem is that you think you are so low that fucking some skank ass hooker isn't a step down. I'm looking at you're profile pic and you're not even ugly. You're no Chris Evans don't kid yourself, but you could definitely score a girlfriend on Christian mingle or whatever you are I think you're evangelical from what I've read before. So stop being pissy and definitely don't fuk hookers unless you want AIDS
aren t ya a christian?
stop preaching hate jeezz
I really didn t have the patience to read it all as it was sounding a lot like a pathetic tirade.
love yourself before you want others to love you. work on your weaknesses.
when you re more comfortable and satisfied with yourself, you ll feel at ease with people. it s that simple actually.
apparently you re going on the right track, now you just have to be proud of what you have so you can blossom. go to more social events, force yourself to interact even if it s awkward or embarrassing at first. you ll get used to it.
and please... you re fucking 20 years old, jeezz relax.