Why I'm OK despite not being the potential future dream home for every man's penis!

[GirlsLie]

"Are my boobs big enough?" "Am I too fat?" "Am I too skinny?" "Do guys like short women?"

Yes your boobs are too small for some men, yes my boobs are too big for some men. Yup, you're too tall for some men and yes i'm too short for some men.

The only question I have is "who the fuck really cares?"

You should be asking yourself, what is it about me that makes me need the appearance approval of others. Especially when you don't know or even like all of them to begin with.

You end up looking like a girl who doesn't have standards and who is more concerned with being what everyone else wants you to be rather than being who you really are. And no one who is worth your time is going to want a girl like that.

I would rather be with someone who is attracted to me but who also realizes that i'm more than a pair of boobs. And if that man happens to be one in a million then that's ok with me, i'll wait. I'm not going to spend my life trying to change every single detail about my appearance until then.

Not being the ideal woman for every man in the world is not my idea of life altering.

Value yourself enough to take care of yourself, to keep yourself healthy and to be yourself. You don't have to be everything for everyone else.

Your happiness shouldn't revolve around fulfilling the preference of others.

[MrOracle]

I completely agree. NO woman is the "ideal" of every guy - even the girls that MOST guys agree are totally hot will still have plenty of guys who just aren't into her - and that's OKAY! It's not necessary to appeal to every single guy, because you aren't going to be in a relationship with every single guy. You just need to appeal to a few guys who are right for you.

This doesn't mean that appearance isn't important - of course it is - but it means that you should focus on the big picture, such as your overall health - and not get caught up in the minutia of your tiny body flaws (that we ALL have if you look close enough). Keep healthy and relatively fit, shower regularly, and wear clothes with a bit of style, and you're good to go. Don't forget what's really important (and it isn't boob size, or butt size, or any of that crap).

[nalaa]

YES! I agree and I think it's getting worse every year. Remember the 90s

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...7937c81720.jpg

Our society is obsessed with how people look, especially women's bodies. The whole obsession with big butts that is going on... I'm like what? Why would one body part matter so much? And yet my facebook wall is plastered with guys liking the butt some model
Of course being attractive is nice but it shouldn't be all you are or most of what you are

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63XsokRPV_Y

[KENKONG]

Animorph was a good show.

[nalaa]

@KENKONG I'll take your word for it, I'm a little too young to have watched it

[loofah]

Wow, I love this post and video... thanks for sharing!! It made me think about my own life, and both my parents really didn't emphasize beauty all my life. They encouraged hard work, intelligence, loyalty, modesty, all sorts of personal character attributes. Also, indeed, I loved how 90s shows showed real kids not glammed up. I think my influence by beauty was mainly done by peers at school and the Internet and it's sad to think of the moments where I felt beauty sick. It's good to look good, but it's not everything. Aiming for healthy will make you look good too.

[nalaa]

@loofah I know, I though the video put it in words better than I could but growing up I often felt that way as well. Still do sometimes and it's sad that people just say it's a normal part of growing up. It shouldn't be
Also did you happen to see some essena o'neils breakdown? And the comments she added on instagram about how fake each and every one of her pictures was. Basically expressing the same thing the take owner did, which should go without saying, that looks aren't everything

dazedimg.dazedgroup.netdna-cdn.com/.../1148668.jpg

i.cbc.ca/.../essena-o-neil-2.jpg

blogs-images.forbes.com/.../...3-at-4.32.52-PM.png

cdn.acidcow.com/.../instagram_star_11.jpg

[SilenRose]

I'm going to check this account out.

[Stacyzee]

True love = self acceptance.

I agree !

[benthurber]

Nah, I'd say it's self-sacrifice. In the context of a relationship, just pick someone who'll do the same for you.

[Stacyzee]

When someone truly loves you... they will accept every inch of you. They will not try to change your physical appearance. That is what I am referring to.

[BellePepper]

Oh my God, LOVE this take!!! Seeing yourself as having intrinsic personal value regardless of what anyone else thinks is SO important! Can I just link this take all through the HDIL topic?

Finding value in YOURSELF and then finding someone who respects and ADDS to that value is so much more important than constantly chasing after some amorphous concept of feminine beauty that changes more often than Playboy's centerfold.

[GirlsLie]

Thank you. I completely agree and yes I had "how do I look" in mind with this one lol

[RationalLioness]

A concept so simple and one that I agree with. I think everyone should feel this way.

[Azara]

i think most people feelings about their bodies are about what they find attractive, not what other people find attractive. they just project it onto others. bc there's no way to really talk about being attractor not to yourself,. at least its not how its done. in fact anytime a person does not like something people assume its bc they want others approval, its their own.

[GirlsLie]

But if there weren't so many ridiculous standards placed on people to begin with then I doubt anyone would question what is wrong with their own body or why there is something wrong to begin with.

[Azara]

I think to a very large extent you are correct, but i also think there are things that we are drawn to or away from comforted by or have aversion towards, developed as part of our personality. i say this bc often there are body types or styles that people get a lot of hate or inteference in trying to attain or maintain, and despite that they fight for the ability/ right to be as they see fit. i think i should probably not have said most. i have no way of knowing this. i think many,. and maybe not more than not, have preferences largely independent of what is 'in',. of course ultimately we can't say where our personal preference cam, e from. burt im just speaking about how we feel in the present as apposed to origin. i think you are right, a lot of people feel pressure to conform to so, thing they think will be approved, even if it mens personal torment. i also think people fight off pressure to be something other than they feel comfortable with... which causes is own torment, often:)

[Azara]

I did not intend fodder my common t to come across as negating your view. i think both points both events happen in a persons life and ironical, lug often in tandem. people get pressured t be and not o be the very same thing., its insane,.. like like socially orchestrated schizophrenia.

[GirlsLie]

That's an interesting way of thinking about it as well.

[Rawrzz]

Literally everyone needs some degree of approval from other people. I'll tell you the reason a lot of females want male approval. Because they want to be seen as beautiful, attractive. Same thing with guys. Everyone wants to be viewed as desirable. No one wants someone to look at them and go "what a disgusting pig."

What makes a person "who they really are?" That's really cliche and reeks of political correctness. A person does what makes him or her happy. They seek contentedness. If it gives a person contentedness to look attractive to more people, then why are you shaming them for wanting that?

You don't have to be everything for everyone else, no, and that can be unhealthy. However, why shouldn't some degree of happiness revolve around fulfilling the preference of others? If fearing being viewed terribly by people contributes to me getting off my ass and working towards goals, why is that such a bad thing?

Everything needs moderation. If you take extremes in any way, then it's going to be a bad thing. Doesn't matter what it is. If you drink too much water, the foundation of life, you will drown and die. If you base your life around trying to appease as many people as possible, it's going to be bad. However, it seems to me as if you just have this "fuck 'em all" attitude. It's different if they base their happiness or contentedness on other people, if their self-esteem is entirely or largely based on other peoples' opinions. But what, exactly, is wrong about wanting to know what general qualities are desirable? Do you say the same thing to guys who are asking "do girls like confident guys?" Perhaps that "fuck 'em all" attitude is mixed in with a bit of man-hate.

So why are you shaming people for wanting some approval? What is innately wrong about approval from others? Or are you speaking about extreme cases?

[GirlsLie]

I agree with some of your points and I was speaking in moderation. Of course people care what others think and should to an extent but if you're at the point to where you're constantly doubting yourself and trying to please every man on the planet then that's too far and you need to realize that you should bring more to a future relationship than your appearances only. I was saying love yourself first and then look for someone to love you. No amount of attention or approval is ever going to make you happy if you're not comfortable with yourself first. When you put yourself in the position to be pick apart, it does nothing but tear you down because like I explained, there is no ideal. There is always going to be someone who doesn't like something about you, you're trying to please something that can't be pleased. That's why I "shame" people for wanting the approval of others. It's a vicious cycle to get yourself into.

[GirlsLie]

I don't have a fck em all attitude, I have an acceptance attitude. I accept that i'm not everyone's type and that doesn't make me lose any sleep at night. I still take care of myself, I still like to work out, like to look nice, dress nice etc. but in the end you can't please everyone and pleasing everyone shouldn't be your primary focus to begin with. I was waiting for the "man hating" stuff to start lol as soon as you don't aim to please a specific gender then it's bound to happen.

[GirlsLie]

I say the same thing to guys all of the time. All women on the planet don't share a collective brain, asking questions like "do women like" are a waste of time because we're all different, just like every man is different. I wrote this specifically towards men because obviously i'm a woman and it's coming from my perspective.

[Rawrzz]

Okay. Thats fair. I felt as if there was a bit of ambiguity in your post, is all. I said perhaps. It annoys me when people bring up stuff that could be applied to both genders, but only apply it to one. Mmm. more suspicious, than annoying. Naturally you might lean towards more concern in one direction, but it's definitely an opening to go "hmm.. what are the motivations here?" Ya know?

[GirlsLie]

Yup, I understand what you're saying. I was just writing from my personal experience and I happen to be female lol

[vishna]

Great MyTake.
Women should stop obsessing if they are perfect for everyone. Angelina Jolie is a 10 to some and a 1 to others. It's not about pleasing everyone, it's about being true to yourself. Because trying to please everyone will pull people apart.

[benthurber]

Unless you're nude and makeup-less, you changed your appearance every day to be who you are now. And at one point you wore the clothes that were bought for you.

See my pic? Not always, but for about 50 hours a week that's how I'm dressed. I enjoy getting cleaned up and wearing nice clothes around others. I enjoy competitive ballroom dancing for the dedication to a visual and physical art.

Appearance matters. While my experience is that women can lust and judge as well as men, it actually matters to men more. And if you love a man (hopefully you chose well,) his attention to your looks can make you or crush you. And if he loves you, he'll see you better than you are.

My advice? Pick guys where you're the pretty one in the relationship. Don't scrape the bottom of the barrel if you don't have to, but it's to your advantage if a guy thinks he scored above his "number" with 'you'. Because, variances aside, most women will love a man more for what he does, and a man will love a woman more for who she is.

[nalaa]

The point is appearance shouldn't be all you are. It should dictate your life, to the point you can't focus on other things. And maybe you think it's extreme but it's not. I know plenty of girls who didn't pay attention in class because they were to worried about how their belly looks while sitting. And yes we know men are all about looks which is why we worry so much and on average date men uglier than us. But still we are more than just the collection of our body parts

[GirlsLie]

Yes, exactly @nalaa. I also wasn't saying that appearances don't matter at all, not sure why some people got that from what I said lol

[nalaa]

because they think in extremes. And that's not a good think. Every star wars fan should know that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgpytjlW5wU

[benthurber]

@GirlsLie Never accused you of saying they didn't. Just saying that you can't change the facts of life. @Nalaa I can't exactly understand what you're saying with, "And maybe you think it's extreme but it's not." It literally makes no sense contextually. Also, no. People tend to end up with their equals but Western society drives us to over-achieve. Now look at an average couple and ask yourself if the woman spent as much time grooming as her man where she would fit in? No make-up, no push-up or padded bra, no heels, no tweezing, clothing cut to the same standard, and basic hair products. How would she look? So when I suggest picking just a hair below your number, I'm not talking about your Prom best, I'm talking about a suitable baseline that you can maintain... A couple of kids, life, and mornings without makeup later. Your lifestyle is more important than your appearance, because your guy is going to see you at your worst. Find the guy who will love that and improve your worst.

[GirlsLie]

Sorry a few people have assumed I was saying that, so I thought you meant I was lol

[nalaa]

I meant that some people might think, that thinking about how you look all the time, even when you should focus on other things, like pay attention in class, is an exaggerated example. That if it happens it's a condition and not the norm. But it IS norm, it's normal, it's what many girls do. Them wanting to look good takes over their lives to the point that can't live it as you would assume. "Now look at an average couple..." well there is a some research saying women are getting more attractive with every generation, men are not. So already we choose from an uglier pool. And secondly for many people their view of what is attractive has been massively distorted by the media, by images, which surprise surprise are superficial. It happens to men as well, men's bodies especially but it's worse for women. There are pretty women wherever you look, so the average one looks ugly in comparison, but she's just average. which means better than half the other women. Which is a

[nalaa]

good score. So before you ask yourself about how couples compare without make up, you have to first ask how attractive you would judge each to be without being desensitized by beautiful people in ads everywhere. And you can't ! Not possible ! So finding a baseline is an ridiculous approach. Nonetheless rated by what we see, women on average choose uglier partners. Because we know And ya I agree you should find someone who will love you at your worst. I believe that was take owners point. That it's not important to be desired by most men, but rather one good one. Hence obsessing about how attractive you are to men all the time is pointless

[OlderAndWiser]

I wish every girl had your attitude. :) :) :)

[DarkHumorRUs]

Please watch the South Park episode "Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society". One of the few episodes where there is no exaggeration at all.

[mikemx55]

This would be a good take... but then I saw your username... I'm confused :(

[SilenRose]

This coming from someone with the username GirlsLie.

[BigJake]

LOL seriously

[GirlsLie]

Shouldn't you be spending your time convincing men to have their foreskin cut off.

[DBAOracle]

@GirlsLie What brought foreskin into this?

[GirlsLie]

I just thought it was a fun topic lol

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a23043-male-circumcision-an-in-depth-look

[SilenRose]

@GirlsLie Shouldn't you be spending your time working on your internalized sexism?

[GirlsLie]

How do you think i'm sexist?

[SilenRose]

Your username is a clear give away and based on your posts around GAG.

[GirlsLie]

So you just randomly made that up from my username that you know nothing about. Also link me some of my sexist post, since they're so easy to come by.

[SilenRose]

It actually isn't random. Your username symbolizes your internal sexism and your post stereotyping women solidifis it. You can'take erase your posting history. I'm not surprised by your denial based on your comments around GAG. You are what you hate.

[GirlsLie]

My name is a different spin on the commonly used term "boyslie". I thought "girlslie" would symbolize the pressure that women feel from society to please others. I just made a take telling women to stop concerning themselves with what others think so much and to love and take care of themselves first. On top of that I only have female friends for the most part. I tend to get along with women even better than I do men. So you can't just spew random assumptions and claim they're facts. You're really reaching and it definitely shows.

[SilenRose]

It sure is easy to make up things on the spot to make it seem like you don't suffer from internalized sexism.

[GirlsLie]

You're right and assumptions about someone you don't know are a difficult thing to do.

[SilenRose]

Take your own advice and stop doing it then.

[GirlsLie]

The one thing I said about you was something that YOU posted.

[SilenRose]

Seriously. Take your own advice.

[GirlsLie]

I do which is why I stuck to something that you actually posted and not something random that I made up in my own head about you.

[SilenRose]

You can continue calling it random but your history speaks for its self.

[GirlsLie]

And i've asked you to point out in my history where and why you've said that and you've not managed to do that. I'll be more than happy to go over every single thing that bothers your little heart if it concerns you that much but you need to come with more than just your assumptions.

[SilenRose]

You actually never asked me to do that. But clearly my comment rings true if it bothers you so much.

[GirlsLie]

"So you just randomly made that up from my username that you know nothing about. Also link me some of my sexist post, since they're so easy to come by." -7 days ago...

[SilenRose]

Well since you are such a fan of my myTake we can discuss the chip on your shoulder about it.

[GirlsLie]

Or you could just go read my response to it and everyone else's who disagreed with you, which we kind of did at the time you posted it...

[SilenRose]

Lol, you ask me to point it out and you dismiss it. Waste of time. Maybe over time you can get over someone elses point of view that differs from yours and your internalized sexism but I doubt it'll be anytime soon.

[GirlsLie]

I asked you to point out my own post, that made me sexist, not your own, especially your own take, that I already addressed at the time you posted it. Maybe with some time you can stop thinking that every thought and assumption that manages to pop into your brain isn't an automatic fact.

[SilenRose]

You posted on the myTake did you not? You're the one who offered to explain your posts. You're the one who seems to have an issue with it. Hence you re-posting it here. Maybe you'll take your own advice some day. As of now this is repetition and a waste of time. Enjoy your time on GAG.

[GirlsLie]

I didn't post anything sexist on your take, I said to find a sexist post of mine and post it to me. This is so ridiculous, have fun in your own mind apparently it's the all knowing place to be.

[Lolomon]

Yes, thank you! I've been saying this forever, this whole accept me crap is overrated. If you love yourself, truly love yourself you need noones approval.

[GirlsLie]

Exactly :)

[ThisDudeHere]

So basically the message is to not care about whether others think you're good looking or not?

[GirlsLie]

You got it, sir.

[NiallM]

Good for you :)

[archiz]

great take^^
exactly, just be the best you can be.

[starryeyedkitten]

My thoughts exactly doll!:) very nice take

[Zorax]

Nice Take, you are right, you shouldn't care about that, because lots of guys don't care about the boobs or height.

[GirlsLie]

Exactly, a lot of guys are awesome like that lol

[Zorax]

Indeed ;)

[Octavius]

What some people out there just seem to fail to grasp is that no matter who you are or what you look like someone is going to find you unattractive.

Like the take. Just be who you are and the right person will find it attractive.

[bluenose1872]

That's the way to be. Who gives a fuck. You can't please everybody all the time, hell you can't even please some of the people some of the time. You're not supposed to.

[JohnnySS]

who said you have to be w every man? lol
l

[GirlsLie]

... lol that's exactly my point.