Sexual Relationships
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Why I'm Still a Virgin

This is a play off of @Luci92

I wouldn't say this is strictly my opinion and that I don't wish anyone to have the same values as me, because I actually do wish sex was valued more in our culture. Sex has become this casual "fling" that doesn't mean anything.

Why I'm Still a Virgin

When I grew up, my parents were not insanely religious or strict. They simply taught me to respect myself and to never settle for less than I deserve. In regards to sex, they told me I should wait for someone I love and to make sure I'm ready before I do it.

I had my first long term boyfriend my junior year in high school. He was the star of our football team and everyone thought we were having sex. I was lucky because we both had the same values at the time. He wanted to wait and so did I. We dated for 2 years and I never really had to deal with the pressure of being with someone who constantly pressured me for sex.

Why I'm Still a Virgin

College is when the pressure became a little more intense. I had quite a few guys interested in me, many being upperclassmen. The school I went to was a small Mennonite college, though, so a lot of the people shared the same values as me, or at least respected my values.

The toughest part was my girlfriends. Almost all of my friends had sex regularly and were in long term relationships. They've never really understood why I've held out for so long. I always get railed with the questions whenever someone finds out.

Why I'm Still a Virgin

The first question that is always asked is "Why?!"

My response has always been, "I haven't found the right guy yet". I have dated a lot over the years but I've never found someone that has all of the qualities I'm looking for and I don't plan on settling. My friends have always told me that my expectations are too high and I should just have sex but then what's the point? I've waited this long, I might as well wait a little longer until I find the person I do want to share that with.

Over the years, I've explained my virginity so many times that it has almost become a part of me. When I lose it, I'm expecting myself to lose a little piece of my identity. That's why I want my first time to mean something- I want to lose it to someone I can share my identity with, and not just lose a part of myself.

Why I'm Still a Virgin
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Most Helpful Girl

  • ok interesting take.
    erm I don t put that much value on it as you do.
    I don t think it is part of my identity or what so.
    buuut I do want to have it with someone I care for and love because if I need to trust and love the person or else the experience is going to be meh and I am gonna feel like shit afterwards.
    so basically I associate it with feelings and I think I ll get more attached to the person afterwards so might as well make him my boyfriend lol

    • You don't think it will be weird not being a virgin anymore? I feel like I spend so much time explaining why I'm a virgin that it's become part of me I guess. Similar to political views.. you explain your point so much that it starts to shape you. Ya know?

    • yea but for me it s not the virginity part that is shaping me but the reasons behind it. and the reasons are I want a long and solid relationship before I can be intimate with him. that s sort off my personality, not my virginity. and I think I ll still be like that even if I lost it. since it s a personality thing. virginity is a temporary state, doesn t mean anthng to me.

    • OK I hear you @archiz

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Good for you for sticking to your values.

    I'm also waiting but for different reasons then you.

    • Thanks ☺️ Are you holding out for religious reasons?

    • Check this out for the answer to that

      My reply on here will answer your question lol since it's more deep then that.
      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2156307-why-is-isn-t-virginity-so-important-to-you

    • This is really out of the blue, but damn, that is a highly respectable answer right there. Good on you my man.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

10 48

  • GOOD FOR YOU. Your virginity is something you can only give one man, and only one time. It is special, sacred, and in every society but ours, highly, highly prized, because it FOREVER bonds you to that one man, as it is designed to, for life.

    Here is a hint. Never, ever, ever give it to ANY man before your honeymoon. Unless he is willing to wait, he is not worth your time. The easiest test of true love is always to deny a man who is interested in you, sex. Most men will run. Because sex is more important to them than your heart.

    Marry the man who loves your heart.

  • There are many reasons why people choose to remain virgins and I've found out that if you bottle them all down, it all stems from Fear. Well for the females at least, yet to figure out the guys. I think theirs might just be either resignation or incapability. AKA. no game.
    Either way, i think i respect virgins more for their ability to convince themselves that its worth it these days, than the actual act of keep their virginity.
    I personally can name a 100 ways why its a dumb concept especially after adulthood in the 21st century, but then i have to remind myself its a matter of choice and one has to respect that.

    • In my case it's definitely not out of fear. I've actually almost lost it before... and there was no fear haha

    • Fear comes in different forms. don't gotta quake like a leave to be scared. menial things like getting a bad grade or preparing for a speak can incite a form of fear. just gotta know how join the dots. uncertainty definitely incites fear for me.

    • He's the one that ended things actually. I mean there's the fear of not losing it with the right person but I thought he was at the time

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  • My opinion has always mostly rested with "Give it to someone who you know will make it a special experience and will treasure the gift you gave them" I suppose whether or not you're in a relationship doesn't really matter. I took a long time female friends virginity because she offered it to me because she knew I would make it a very special experience and that I wouldn't take the gift for granted.

  • Good MyTake, agree with you 100% and good for you for holding these value. Your parents taught you well and glad you didn't "get rid" of it due to peer or society pressure.

    It will mean a lot more for you and your partner when you are ready and be with the gentleman who will treat you the right way.

    • thanks :)

  • "I haven't found the right guy yet"
    --Every virgin girl

    • lol true

  • I'm literally the complete opposite of you. I don't think virginity is something special, and neither is sex. It's just something really enjoyable for me and I don't see why I should refrain from doing something that brings me pleasure.

    • To each their own

    • Mirin artsy slooty profile pic Julie. That ish is instagram ready.

    • @Chico_brah lmfaooo I see you 😏😂

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  • Great Take. I see virginity as something special but everyone has there own opinion. My mother always taught me to wait until marriage because of religious reasons. I am waiting because I have not met the right guy yet in my life. I want it to be with someone special and whom I care very much about and someone who cares the same for me.

  • I mean, you do you, I hope you find the right guy. But sex is really not that big a deal. It's a completely typical body part (dick) entering another completely typical body part (cunt). Not trying to convince you, but I don't see these feelings of virginity as specifically positive ones, more like limitations on potential happiness.

  • Good job 👍👍

    • Thanks 😊

  • "I actually do wish sex was valued more in our culture"
    I also wish everybody thought like me. The world would be much better if everybody did things the way I want them. But no, they have to be different and screw it all up.

  • I think Hollywood has painted you a nice picture of what I like to call Fantasyland about how wonderful life is when you fall in love. Well I give you this quote from a fine 1999 film, "It's just sex, it's not a space shuttle launch."

  • How come you have dated a lot, but never really found "the right guy"?
    How do you manage to date the wrong guys?

    When I started reading, I got the impression that you'd only go into a relationship, with the intention for it to go the long run. But in the end, it seems that you enter it with the expectation that it isn't the right guy from the start.

    How wrong am I?

    • Hmm you're not wrong actually. When I was in college I was always looking for a way out with the guys I didn't feel were right for me. However I have been with someone who I felt like I could lose my virginity to. We were together last year but ended up breaking up right before we were guna have sex. So my expectations aren't unrealistic, they're just high.

    • In the relationships that you figure out that it wasn't the right guy, how long does it take you to realize that, since the moment you begin dating?

    • And, have you ever got into a relationship, simply because it felt better than being alone, and not exactly because you were into the guy from the begining?

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  • You're awescome! :D I admire your strength

    • Thanks 😊

  • Why I'm still not a virgin: I got laid by someone who doesn't care about me anymore :(

    • Thats usually how that goes... and if the cookie crumbles that way... ms Puppy is gonna lose the V-card, a bit of identity, AND that person she "held out" so long for. triple whammy over the double whammy she mentioned. All wasted time in my opinion, but isn't that what people like to do, waste time so it seems more worth it? whats the difference between being able to have sex for 2 mins and to do it for 2 hours? Time, but the orgasm is the same when it happens.

  • Yes it is nice to wait.
    But you can not wait till you're 40, do you?
    'Losing virginity' is very special. Okay But life goes on.

    • i never said i was waiting until i was 40.

    • okay :)

  • You're fortunate that you're a woman. If a woman wants to keep her virginity, for whatever reason, she gets a lot of "OOOWW, good for you, girl!".

    If a guy is a virgin after a certain age, he becomes the biggest joke in town. They even make movies about it.

    • 40 is a bit extreme lmao that's why a movie was made about if

    • Whether the age is 40 or 20, a virgin guy will probably still get ridiculed as either a pussy or a queer. Not that I would do that. I don't really care what somebody's private life is all about.

    • not true

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  • Interesting read, thanks! I totally respect where you're coming from.

  • Because you haven't had sex yet

    /end

    • lol okay

  • Nice take. I've never seen my virginity as part of my identity as I am more than just a virgin. It's taken me a long time to find someone on my wave length, someone that i know genuinely cares for me and vice versa. I've never been able to be myself around another man like I can with my boyfriend. We may not last forever however I know I won't regret sleeping with him.

  • Thank you for sharing this. It's great that you have those values and you definitely should not compromise them in any way

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