Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Plenty of people in this day and age seem to think of sex as nothing.. sex has always meant something and actually matters to me. I don't want to make it meaningless like so many people have.
I think it feels so much better with emotion.
So I have before had sex with people I don't really have much attachment to. You think you do, get down to it, and realize maybe you don't like that person quite as much as you thought you did. No passion, no emotion, just banging two bodies together. For some people who don't need the emotional side I'm sure it's great, but for me to be properly turned on and in the zone and really enjoying it, I need to care and feel cared for or it just ends up making me feel like it shouldn't have even started.
I don't want to get used.
I feel like having meaningless sex sets yourself up for getting used. It's so often with fuck buddies and all that one will at least end up getting feelings for the other. I personally have never had a "fuck buddy" and never plan to but knowing lots of people who have been in those situations it seems one ends up taking advantage of the one who gains feelings and I just don't think it's nice or a healthy situation.
I don't want to get a STD.
I think most people can agree that sleeping with strangers or people you hardly know is probably a bad idea in the sense of it is not safe. Of course condoms lower your chances of getting one but even with a condom you're still not 100% safe, they can break.
It's not going anywhere.
To me if I'm sleeping with someone it should end up somewhere. To me, the act of sex isn't good enough without some form of commitment. Why am I sleeping with this person for months on end without it progressing? We're in exactly the same boat as we were when it started and for me personally it's one of the most pointless things.
I'm Jealous.
When I'm in a relationship I have an amount of jealousy that if I feel my partner is doing something wrong with the opposite sex, if I care, then I'm not going to like it. So it goes the same way for a person I'm just casually sleeping with. 1 hour ago you were in my bed and now you think its okay to go chat up some woman in a club to try to sleep with them just because we're not committed? No, I'm sorry but I don't want to feel like a piece of crap and that is all that does to me.
I would rather have a relationship.
Ok this is probably the most obvious one of the lot but yes! I would rather have a relationship.
Why settle for something that only has sex when I can find someone who wants all of it? And commitment, marriage, and kids in the long run. Who we actually spend time together as a couple and have a connection, we go on dates, we do fun things other than just "sex." I want
to be a priority with someone I'm sleeping with and I also want them to be mine.
I know that friends with benefits is fine and good for some people and I'm not saying it shouldn't be but I just know for me it's a very bad idea.... have you ever had a friends with benefits and do you like it?
What Girls & Guys Said
60 100I love sex and pleasure is never meaningless.
But as it says in Josette Sona's free book: "Are Women the Stronger Sex?" sometimes women pay a high price for casual sex: she might fall in love with him, she might get a STD, he might record the act and upload it, he might take pictures and pass them around, etc.
@bailey11 Neither men nor women are the "stronger" sex we both have our strengths and weaknesses. I've had clients fall in love with me. You can get STD's from any one. Record the act and upload it? yes please, make me an internet phenom and help promote my calling.
I feel like you read my mind when you wrote this! This is EXACTLY how I feel.
I've actually sewed my wild oats so I'm past all of that and have been ready for something real for 4 years.
Reasonable.
Good MyTake :) keep up the good work!
Hmmm... takes me back to procreation and an argument against it called the sexual revolution. The root word being revolt. Kinda to us is uh... revolting... have your nasty sex y'all keep you nasty opinions to yourself I'll give advice though. Um hmm... yeah the cretens cloning and breeding. Don't be cretens y'all.
Hmmm I didn't think there was a thing as emotionless sex, unless maybe you pay for it or are raped or abused. Like, why would I have sex with someone if I was not attracted to them. You do know attraction is an emotion and a sort of connection. I can't have sex with someone if I'm not sexually attracted to them, which warrants more than just physical looks. It has to do with intelligence, personality, and character. You have to get somewhat close to a person in order to be this physically intimate with them. You have to have some sort of emotional connection to get arouse if you ask me. Since I have to be aroused to get a boner, unless maybe Viagra or something gets dropped in my drink or slipped to me, I need some sort of "emotional" involvement to want to have sex. Maybe I'm of the few, but to me, to want to have sex, by all involved, you need emotion. It does not always have to be as strong as love, but lust is a pretty strong emotion as well.
I completely agree with you. I'm not judging anyone else but I'm not a friends with benefits type of girl
I also agree with all these points! I get too attached and hate the thought of sharing someone in my life like that with other (probably hotter and cuter) girls which would make me feel horrible!
Agreed. Plus when the other person doesn't care about you and isn't connected with you on a deeper level their overall concern is their own pleasure. They aren't that concerned with how you are doing (unless they are the type that tries to prove themselves by getting you off) and communicating what you want can be difficult with someone you don't know.
Lol I just have to sometimes... in a relationship, I have been taught it's bad to say no to a husband
But when you are married your husband is responsible for how you feel towards intimacy. Some forget to treat their spouse with love and respect.
@Goodwifie I say no so many times, usually because I am asleep or sick... or periods... that I feel bad so I just try
As long as he doesn't make you feel bad for saying no, instead gives you a positive acceptance. I'm 12 years older than you and I have gone through so many changes. Having 3 kids and my hormone levels changing sore breasts a week before my period ment my husband couldn't touch me for almost 2 wks. Kids are growing up and hormones are leveling out and now I the one that has a higher sex drive. He turns me down politely. "honey you know I want to because you're so sexy but I'm so tired". My response is is to be caring and understanding. That's okay sweetheart I love you ".
@Goodwifie he doesn't get upset. I like how he communicates better. My sex drive is like a potato sometimes I feel like I am asexual. Only time I get excited is during ovulation. I think there is something wrong with me. I did have a pregnancy which I lost in car accident... but I doubt that's the reason as it was long ago and during first trimester
I'm so sorry for your loss honey. Go easy on yourself. Us women have so many hormonal changes that we have to deal with. So good that your husband is understanding.
@Goodwifie thanks :-) I wish hormones didn't make me so moody :-/ loool
Well done! That should be 95% of humans if it wasn't for hollywoods twisted sense of normalcy and derelicts influencing our society. Shocking someone has to justify what is simply good rational behavior, but that's where our society declined to.
So.. start a march across America for women, go on Oprah or Ellen, make some youtubes and movies about normal relationships, make some t-shirts, I'd say go talk to some high school students, but it's late for them... they've been programmed by TV... talk doesn't work.
It'd meaning less its just for them to please the part they wanted to clear the itch they bad
And that's why we love you PrincessPie... you understand us! ❤️
I totally agree! Sex, to me, has always only been in the confines of an official relationship! There has to be love in it for it to matter!
Having values... That's beautiful!
I can't even get in the mood with someone sexually if I'm not in a relationship with them. This is absolute at parties, I see women grinding on other guys and I think to myself what's the point in that if she's doing it to every other guy. Plus she's drunk so that's less fun.
sex is associated with pleasure so if i am not commited to someone else why would i say no to meaningless sex but that is for guys girl are judged by their sexual experiences which could be a reason why the opinions would be differenciated within the genders
Check. Out how many of your reasons state or imply “going somewhere”. The immediacy of right now is the only place wisdom, pleasure, and most true talent exists. I’m not disagreeing with some of your premises are in the future that I can't help feeling you are ignoring then present- the nexus of infinity and eternity.
Just another insight into the matter:
The thing here, is that what is meaningful to you, may be different for someone else, since people can have different notions of things around them. What you consider to be meaningless towards others, and/or criticize others for being that way, for them it can be meaningful, and normal, since nobody understands the true depts and problems of another mind. Heck, we sometimes struggle to understand ourselves... with most people, we can only see the surface, and rarely know about their inner workings of their minds.
Yeah i realize everyone is different this is just how i feel :)
Another thing I've noticed is that some of our thoughts change over time, as we live and gather more experiences. Some things change, our priorities and our views. It has happened to me in the past. Like, in the past, I'd almost completely agree with what you said on the take, but as the years go by, I'm starting to only agree partially on this matter, and others. just an example..
Why is this?
My perceptions of the world change. I grew up, went to university, met more people, saw a sort of a different way of living (the Uni was in another town). Over the years, I see my friends and colleagues with different lives than mine, and can see many different outcomes of what my life could have been, and I realize that none of those friends (or me, for that matter) made any wrong choices, and they all led to normal people, living apparently normal lives. So I started seeing that what I thought, and what I sort of acquired from more conservative people, isn't always right for the world we live in, and that some things change for the better. Not sure if that answers your question, but I'm not that good with words...
I agree with every one of those, I had a friends with benefits but even then we had feelings for each other and was gonna go further if it wasn't for distance, its just so much better with one good person