Why I think virginity doesn't exist

Why I think virginity doesn't exist

I remember when I was a teen and used to dream about my viriginity loss to a special someone and now I'm almost 22 and my views are just totally different. They're so different, I now believe virginity doesn't exist and it's a silly concept.

There is no biological definition for virginity. None. People try to define it but there is always a question that has been left out that isn't included in the definition people state. It can be defined as "never having sex" but what constitutes as sex? You can say penetration but then a toy penetrating doesn't count? And what about lesbians, are they just forever virgins? Sex is different to different people, virginity can't be defined so simply. We also think of virginity as something that is "lost", "given" or "taken" but what are you taking? An experience? If so then people are virgins for many things if it is an experience. Virgin to bungee jumping, virgin to visitng Dubai, etc. But that doesn't cover loss, how can you lose something you never had? You can't lose the experience of riding a bike if you have never ridden a bike.

There are myths that your body changes afterwards, hips/d*cks get bigger or whatever but this has been proven to be untrue. No changes occur except maybe a mental one, but physically? Not really.

Let's not even talk about the hymen. 'Cherry-popping'. We all know the hymen can tear/rip/break in other ways besides sex. But also, guys don't have hymens, so we can't use that to define virginity either because that would mean guys are always virgins because they will never have a hymen to 'pop'.

Virginity is a concept made up. It comes attached with connotations of purity when being virgin or non virgin does not make you pure/unpure. I don't believe it exists, just a made up concept in our minds.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree. The concept of virginity is just about as important as the first time you take a swim. First time you ride a bike. First time you eat a fucking carrot. In the moment it might feel like an important step but honestly? In the real world, virginity is absolutely pointless. It changes nothing. It's a social concept that people care about way too much. I mean, it's ok to think it's a special thing and if you want to lose it with someone you love, go ahead. But it shouldn't be a bigger thing than that. A person's entire worth should not be based on whether they've had sex or not, just like it shouldn't be based on whether they've ridden a bike or not. Eaten a carrot or not. It does not make a single difference.

    • But sex is a more important part of life than taking a swim, isn't it? If it wasn't, I don't think we'd be talking about it nearly as much.

    • "Oh my god, YOU have RIDDEN a BIKE? How disgusting. How shameful. I can't believe you would do such a thing, and with a bike you don't even own! IMPURE! BEGONE!"

    • @Napoleonica not really. I mean yeah, with it you can create life. But that's why condoms and birth control exist. So that you can enjoy the fun aspect of it without worrying too much about STDs or babies. People are just stuck on it because traditionally we didn't have access to birth control and it needed to be taken much more seriously than needed (now).

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I guess the simple solution to this is to say people have their virginity if they don't put their genitals into one of someone's lower holes, or if nobody puts their genitals into one of their lower holes, lol.

    But yeah it is quite silly, virginity is just a scaring tactic to keep children from having sex with one another because they are taught that "not having sex" is a virtue.

    • That's not the simple solution, that's a mysoginist solution, as you considering male genitalia only and excluding lesbians. It's having sexual activity with a person for first time or genitlia to genitalia contact for first time.

    • @Elis678 Well you can always count strap-ons.

    • Not, I can't. A strap-on is sex with pieace of plastic, not with a woman body, and isn't a good efficient thing to come, like a female genitalia stimulating the clit is or even finger penetration or tongue. Again, female genitalia are mean to have sex for pleasure without penetration. The world doesn't revolve around your penis.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • "Virginity" is simply the label assigned to a particular stage of life - the stage before you have sexual intercourse. It very much does exist, but people have attattched their own beliefs to the concept of it. Before you've had sex you are a virgin, after you've had sex you aren't. The label is used to differeniate between the two different stages.

  • Virginity does exist but I believe that today it's more of a personal idea and it's different depending on what you define as "being pure" and untouched. In my workd

    • Why can't I delete this? Silly phone! What I wanted to say was that in my world, people are virgins until they have their first sexual encounter with someone else. I was a virgin until I met my boyfriend at 20 years. I considered myself pure because no one else had touched my body and because I had not shared myself intimately with anyone else. My body was mine, until that night.

  • Sex is more than a physical act to leave physical changes in a person, sillyhead.

    Its meant to form a physical, mental, spiritual, emotional bond between too people. Even if you were right that there are no physical traces, unless you whipe your memory, you will be a changed person with every sexual experience, though less obviously the more you do it.

    This is why affairs and other casual sex comes at a price. Even if your spouse doesn't have physical proof of an affair, or of the people you slept with prior to marriage, it affects a marriage heavily. You can't just say "oh, since there is no physical evidence evidence I've had sex with people other than my spouse, it means its like it never happened"!

    This is why I wait.

  • I agree. There are a lot of ways outside of sex for females to tear their hymen so that can't really be held accountable anymore. Guys can say they are a virgin but you don't have a way to tell at all, you just have to believe them. I think it is an outdated status that doesn't mean much this day and age. Yes, I understand that religious people who want to wait for marriage still will use the term but how do you know they haven't done a single thing sexually before they met you? You just have to go by their word and virginity means different things to different people. I think people put too much stock into it, really.

    • Example 1: riding horses does it. Splits haha oh those days man

  • I agree that too much things people connect to the simple fact have any dick ever enter your vagina or have your dick ever enter any vagina.
    The fact that that didn't happen in someone's life shouldn't be something that other person should be ashamed of or get over with.
    Sex happens when you meet someone you wanna do it with and they wanna do it with you. If you don't meet someone like that what can you do. It's life.
    Sure, if million dicks enetered your vagina or none does says something about your character.

  • Genius!!!
    That makes so much sense!!!
    I think virginity is overrated...
    I think it's just something we want to tell our children so they do t have sex at a young age. So they think about it before they do it...

  • Spoken like someone who has never lost her virginity and is afraid to. Or a woman who has given it away and deep down regrets it, and is trying to justify it by gleaning over her spiritual distress.

    No amount of psyching yourself up with these empty minded statistical analysis will ever explain what losing your virginity does to your heart, soul, and mind, spiritually speaking.

    You can also deny, to your great folly, that there is a spiritual side to life.

    Tell me, what do you think of this? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a23298-why-a-teenage-girl-should-not-have-sex-in-highschool

    She lost her virginity and regrets it.

    What about a woman who is raped? If the rapist doesn't do any lasting damage to her body or get her pregnant, according to you, because there is no lasting trauma, really, what does the woman who got raped have to complain about?

    Sex is the single most sacred thing two people can engage in. Doing it wrong can destroy you for life.

    Your virginity is sacred. You can only ever give it to one man, one time, ever in your life.

    • *snort*

    • lol and what if he was a one night stand?

    • Give what, exactly? "Here you go man, thanks for humping me. Take this. My virginity. It's literally nothing. Not even air. You can't touch it. You can't smell it. You can't feel it. You can't see it. BUT TAKE IT!!! TAKE THE NOTHINGNESS"

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  • Thank you for clearing this up for everyone! This is spot on!

  • i like how people like to use world history of disposition towards worens sexuality, justify the concept of virginity, when virginity in ancient times literally meant 'unmarried woman.,

    good take. unfortunately you'll have no shortage of idiocy- i mean opposition- but good take. ;-)

  • Virginity, is simply, the state of having never had sex. That's all. Why you complicating it.

    I'm 22 years old, never touched or kissed with a woman, and obviously never had sex. I'm a virgin.

    • That's only your definition.

    • @ClariceOwen23 I believe that's the whole world's definition. in fact, why don't u Google what virgin means.

    • That's a vague definition

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  • Hymens can be broken by something as simple as falling off a bike

  • Well written (and i love the cherries) but I have to disagree with you here. When a man enters a woman and breaks her hymen, that is taking her virginity. Now, as you say, the hymen maybe broken, I believe mine is because I horse ride. But here's the trick. It's still actually more than that. Scientifically, when a man enters to a point, new processes start occurring in the body and new chemicals are released. When there were Neanderthals about, they would only mate with virgin females.. they could determine she was a virgin by the pheromones she released and they could smell this from her sweat. So that's the primal take on it!

  • Great take! One of my psychology professors went on a rant last class about the fact that virginity was just a made up thing used to control and ascribe ownership to women. And that in ancient Greece the word virgin originally just meant unmarried or single. So if a goddess was said to be "virginal" they were literally saying "she's not married to anyone or in a relationship of any kind." and let me tell you! Greek gods and goddesses were promiscuous! So saying a goddess was virginal had nothing to do with sex, because they believed the goddesses and gods had these orgies all the time up on mount olympus, or they'd come down and seduce mortals whenever they felt like it.

    • Yet Artemis is the godess of virginity so your saying thats she's the godess of single people

    • @Qurkyfrog Pretty much, the Christsians just interpreted it based on their values even though they were way different than the Greeks

  • Non mated would be better?

    I think it's silly to get hung up over it. But for many it can be calculated, ex) a penis has never entered a vagina or anus and so virginity is the word used. That being said, I'm not out to exclude anyone. Of course lesbian women who are in a sexually active relationship are not virgins.

    That being said, my on the spot, as I eat ice cream before micro lab definition is, Virrginity/non mated people are people who have never engaged in sexual activity in which lower regions were sexually stimulated by a partner

  • 'A horse can not exist, but a white horse may'- The Gateless Gate.
    All I mean to say in that, is that while the concept itself may not exist, that does not mean there are not examples of virginity.

    Most of what occupies humanity does not exist- morality and language being two great examples of things that don't exist outside of what ever we want them to be. This does not mean it is not fundamental to many people's lives.

    While I agree with you hate for the people who make it out to be more than it is (especially with the hymen and tightness BS)- that does not mean it should not be very significant to those who wish it to be. I wish it were more on a logical level ie, if you have not had sex (and even then definitions of sex vary) than you are a virgin. This serves the purpose of allowing those who wish, to signify to others if they have or have not, and weather they prefer a virgin mate or not. Again, I know many people, especially guys take it waaaaay too far, but that does not mean we should disregard the notion for everyone simply because it does not exist.

  • Finally someone says it. Virginity is nothing more than a made mad concept, it revolves all around penises and shaming women for their sexuality.

    Hymen stretch, it doesn't break with penetration The only cases when it break is when it isn't flexible enough.

    It just should be not having had sexual experience. You lose nothing when you have sexual experience, you just gain experience, and sexual experience doesn't mean penis in vag , as there are different sex acts.

  • Just because something is difficult to define, does not mean that it doesn't exist.

    You're a woman, right? But what makes you a woman?
    - Is it that you have a vagina? (what if you had a sex change?)
    - Is it that you lack a Y-chromosome?
    - Is it that you are capable of bearing children? (what if a medical condition prevents this?)
    - Is it that you identify as (feel like) a woman? (what if you were born with a male body?)

    Or even more basic than that, you're a member of the species Homo sapiens, right?
    But how *exactly* does one define "species"? The answer is that it's extremely difficult (scientists call this "The species problem"), and there are many different species concepts, in the same way that there are many different concepts of virginity.
    See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Species_problem

    I'd agree that people make an unnecessarily big deal about it though.

  • Virginity is not something BIOLOGICAL OR LITERAL.

    Virginity is more of a figurative/psychological concept, when you have engaged in a sexual act with your reproductive organs for the first time.

    The concept of Viriginity is used to distinguish those who have had past sexual relations and those who haven't. It has little to do with 'biological concepts'.

    There IS NO DEFINITE biological definition however there IS an abstract and conceptual definition therefore the true meaning of viriginity still exists.

  • I'll agree it is more of a concept, then an actual concrete physical thing.

    It is an experience, a state of being and a gift (virtue)

    But, I also think it is over-valued by many..

    It's largely an outdated concept in todays world.. on par with typewriters or rotary dial phones...

    sorta cool.. but, not really important or exciting

  • well obviously it's a made up concept. what else is it gonna be? but it's one of many made up concepts that DO exist, whether u like that or not.

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