Why I've Never Done Dangerous Things; It's Just Basic Logic.

I've never done drugs, alcohol, crazy sex stuff, or all of the dangerous things that kids 12 and up usually do. I didn't do them NOT because of my mother and father, or because of being strictly religious, but simply because of really basic logic, that I thought EVERYONE used...Still, when I've talked with other adults and kids, they always seem surprised, so here's a short explanation:

1. When you use drugs and alcohol, you become addicted or dependent, and at the bare minimum, you give someone else the perfect opportunity to do whatever they want to you (cue drunk barely remembered ONS) or you can hurt innocent people (cue wrecking property and having no memory of anything). So, I always thought it was extremely silly to say that you're trying to be a rebel or cool when using drugs and alcohol. It always seemed really hypocritical to me to want to rebel, and then end up being dependent on a drug dealer, or practically losing your mind getting wasted and doing only god knows what. None of that accomplishes anything, is a waste of time, and (if you get injured or have legal/money issues) makes you far more dependent on other people than you could have ever dreamed of being.

2. For sex...I DID want to have sex, especially since it's my senior year. But...I always research and ask as many questions as possible, and sex isn't looking to be the thing I thought it was :( In real life, I found out that lots of boys are silent during sex, they don't last long at all, and that many of them lose interest in the chick right after...None of that exactly fit into the romantic ideal that I had in mind. Online, I read/watched videos about the fact that many women don't even orgasm from PIV, and about the pregnancy and STD risks, which can be very high (HPV and HSV1 are basically supposed to be facts of life, although most HPV clears up in a few years). I still want to do sexual things, but I want to stay safe (aka manual sex). As for dealing with boys, I haven't taken that step yet...I've watched what's happened to my family and friends, and I've realized how boys will lie about pretty much anything and use anything, just to get sex, that it's just not that an enticing idea anymore. And trusting pretend fake romantic 'nice guys', would probably have a worse outcome than if I dated a drug addict.

3. Also, I understand that many kids aren't going to even remotely care what's logical or not, and do whatever they want to anyway. But, I wrote an answer on what I would personally do if I had kids like that, and I got MHO: https://www.girlsaskguys.com/family-friends/q1216031-what-is-the-best-way-to-discipline-kids People may or may not like it, but I think my answer really describes a practical approach to dealing with preteens and teens. Maybe a little out there, but it's practical.

And to make it clear, my parents never hit me, and pretty much have no influence in my life...I just considered everything to be common sense.

I also don't think there's anything wrong with not doing all those things because you don't want to disappoint your family or friends...I just don't think that's a realistic way to look at life. Because you can never really predict how other people will react, and so if you depend on certain POV or types of situations/people, it could all end very badly. For example, marriages where the husbands that cheat/divorce SAHMs, and then since the moms/ex-wives haven't had any income for YEARS, they end up on welfare and/or living back with their families. Or, when someone you really care for steals money, puts you in debt, takes everything they possible can from you, and you can't do anything to defend yourself, because you trusted them so much (happened to several family members of mine, and now all of them are either in welfare, or have huge legal and money issues to deal with). My point is, if you're dependent on someone else's approval, and they KNOW that...Well, I'm sure quite a few people were surprised when they realized what their loved ones were capable of :p So in my case, I like staying safe...but not because of what other people say or how I think they'll react.

I really like taking a practical approach to everything, not using emotions or because I believe someone I love will 'never' do some things or betray me. People always have their own issues, so you can never be 100% sure what's going to happen, or not. So I prefer to not do dangerous things because *I* don't want to, not because of other people's opinions.

0 0

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

1 1
  • i think you have a quasi-relfective approach to thinking. you have some logic, but you take everything and only look at one side of it. and i'm not trying to attack you or anything, i just want you to realize that there are positive things to each of the things you listed.

    1. not everyone that drinks or does drugs becomes addicted. many cultures promote the use of drinking and drugs without the side affects that we see plastered all over the media. Also, people can drink for many reasons, not to just numb their feelings. Drinking is used to relax, have fun with friends while watching the game, etc. Not all of these cases lead to intoxication. when drinking is used irresponsibly, that is when you get what you listed.

    2. when you have sex with the right guy it can be just as orgasmic and pleasurable for you as it is for him. practiced safely, the risk for STDs and STIs is very low. i think you have a very negative view of males that will affect your relationships with them later in life. not all are like that.

    3. as far as your theory of raising kids, it sounds great logically, but is it practical? not so much. taking away your childs stuff is only going to cause them to rebel more or find other ways to get what they want. and locking them out of the house to teach them responsibility is a good way to get your child taken from you.

    so my suggestions to you is that we all can't just use logic to decide what we do and how to react. we must also look at practicality and other people's feelings on what we do.

    once again, i'm not meaning to make you angry, i'm just stating my opinion.

    • LOL, I don't mind at all. I LIKE it when people don't agree; it makes things interesting. For 1 and 2, I realize those three aren't always terrible, but I was mainly talking about how it affects kids and teens, not when responsible grown adult people decide to do those things for for very specific reasons, or only occasionally for pleasure. And I know my view sounds a little cynical, but I've seen it happen in real life; if I hadn't of seen it happen so many times, I might be more skeptical. Still, I actually daydream about having a bf all the time, and I like men; just not all of their annoying traits :p For 3, I know my answer sounds strange, but when I wrote take away their things, I meant take away all of the opportunities for them to rebel. If they're that hellbent on doing dangerous things, they're not going to do it using or endangering their family, so if that means temporarily forcing them to be on their own... that might be what they need, in extreme circumstances.

  • Eh, people don't always become addicted to drugs and or alcohol. If you want to talk about logic it can make perfect sense because these things feel good. You're body naturally releases dopamine (via dopaminergic pathways) to reward your body for certain actions. It makes perfect sense why a person wants to feel pleasurable and drugs and alcohol (used appropriately) are one such way of doing so.
    Onto sex. Yes in the beginning many boys/men are not able to properly pleasure their woman. The problem being that we lack experience if you were to find a partner you'd be willing to practice and work with in time he would become able to pleasure you. In addition women tend to struggle with orgasming from penetration, rather they need clitoral stimulation. I feel that making it harder for y'all to come was natures way of getting back at y'all for getting multiple orgasms XP
    Lastly, parenting is hard research shows that parents who have a high level of communicability and punishment are the most likely to raise emotionally stable children. So just keep that in mind, be open with the kids but at the same time keep the parental boundaries in place

    • Hi! I know not everyone becomes addicted LOL. I was mostly talking about kids and teens 'experimenting' and getting wasted. Also, I think you're totally right about the clit stimulation (I love this video www.youtube.com/watch and also, men can have multiple Os too, there are books on it: www.amazon.com/.../0062513362

      As for parenting, that's actually exactly what my answer said; I'll do my best to stop them from harming themselves and other people, and if that doesn't work I'll force them to act like adults. I want self sufficient kids... especially since my parents have never done anything more than yell at me, and I was able to take care of myself since double digits, I want the same for my kids.

    • I gotcha, in addition though it can be logical to partake in drugs and alcohol as a means of seeking social acceptance from your peers as humans are social creatures we seek others validations. One way of gaining this acceptance is pertaining in certain "rituals" to make us more similar to each other. In this instance in particular if you drink or do drugs with other people they are more likely to accept you and you share a bond that you previously hadn't. I'll agree that a lot of kids are stupid with it though