Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health To paraphrase a common question from the girls: "Will you break up with a girl if she doesn't have sex with you?"
Short answer: Yes. And, in fact, many guys will.
Now, there are two ways to handle this. The first is to fall back on the "Well, if he doesn't respect my feelings, then he doesn't really love me" cliche. The other is to look deeper into why he wants to have sex.
Let get this out of the way right off the bat. There are a lot of guys who want to have sex with girls because they like having sex. They don't really care about things like "feelings" and "love", but much rather focus on the sensation between the legs. These guys... well, you're better off without them. Yes, they'll call you a stuck-up b*tch, or spread rumors about you in school, but only because they're pissed you didn't magically come to climax at the thought of their penises. Good riddance. Move on.
There is another class of guys out there. I consider myself in that class. I, too, would have broken up with you for not having sex with me. But here's why... for me, sex is an integral part of a deep relationship. It represents trust and intimacy like nothing else. If we are connected on a level that allows us to make love (either romantic or naughty), we are at a level like no one else. Sex represents that connection to me. Sex is a must in a relationship.
If you choose not to have sex with me, I respect that choice. I understand your position. I will continue to love you - as a friend. But the relationship will end, because your level of trust and intimacy are not in sync with mine. Am I willing to wait for you? Yes. But not forever. Not until marriage.
As a woman, you deserve a man who understands sex the way you do and shares your beliefs. I as a man deserve the same. So, we must break up... so that we can both find what we're looking for.
Why I Will Break Up With You If You Don't Have Sex With Me
ManAmongBoys Xper 3
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What Girls & Guys Said
65 82All right. Lets get this right out there... women? If you can not picture yourself ever sleeping with the guy, don't accept the first date! I mean, what the point? If there's no physical attraction whatsoever, why go out with them at all? its not "shallow" to say it. When you get right down to brass tacks? I don't require action on the first date. Nor the first week... but, if you don't show that there's some attraction, some chemistry there... well, it IS the human mating ritual, you know.
Now if I could only get my wife to understand this. Great post.
i was ready to get pissed off after reading this article but you have good reasoning and thought behind it.
@ tigersgirl4ever >> Well, that, at you are 34 years old. You are at your sexual peak as a woman. The final rush of hormones before menopause. If he's the same age, his drive is actually on the decline. Men peak sexually at 18-24 years old. After that, its all gradually down hill.
@ tigersgirl4ever >> He either no longer finds you attractive physically, as happens in long term relationships, he's under a lot of stress, or you're a nympho. If you fall under the 3rd option, I would be more than happy to personally help you with this problem in a hands on fashion.
I think the main point for most girls is timing. Many guys seem to get comfortable with you really fast, but it usually takes longer for girls to reach that phase.
If she doesn't want to have sex with you at all, then she's asexual, isn't she? This is just in reference to a seemingly very popular theme around here lately...
I agree with you, but I don't think most guys do. That's why some girls would prefer to wait until marriage to have sex, because then the guy will want to marry (for his reasons), and the girl will get the "public and legal acknowedgement " that she desires.
But if sex is the ultimate expression of love, and mainly about being "connected on a level that allows us to make love," then if that is your motive for marrying - love, sex, connection, etc. - why would you marry if you already have that?
This all makes sense, but I would ask you - if a girl has sex before marriage, what is left to want that would cause her boyfriend to later propose marriage?
If he's already getting everything, he would have no motive to marry. And if that was something SHE wanted, then she would find herself having slept with a guy she now has to break up with. Which sucks.
Yeap - no sex, no relationship. People who say otherwise are usually virgins or religious nuts.
I've always found that girls who (in a relationship) don't want to have sex with me are either not attracted to me or have immature attitudes about sex. Either way breaking up is the best thing to do as you can't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't feel the same was as you do.
i don't have to read this article to say this: ladies yur boyfriend wants sex, if he doesn't he's either gay or not much of a man. if he really loves yu and yu can convince him that sex is a huge step (n always has been) then he will go without sex for yu, @ least until his patience runs out. but it definitely makes breaking up easier when the guys not getting sex.
Your wrong about sex representing trust and intimacy like nothing else. Commitment (Marriage) is #1 as far as trust and intimacy is concerned. If you are not willing to commit to someone then you obviously do not trust them fully nor is there deep enough intamacy. Commitment is what keeps a relationship together not sex. And part of the commitment of marrige is satisfying each other sexually. Whatever reason you don't want to commit to your girl is a problem that needs to be addressed b4 sex.
Yes I know and this is what happens when a guy of your view, meets a girl of mine: https://www.girlsaskguys.com/Relationships-Questions/302810-my-boyfriend-wants-to-have-sex-but-im-not-ready.html
This is why I dislike your view and I was only pointing that out. I see it as selfishness and I see what it does, that's all. I wasn't proving you are right, by agreeing with you with you finding a partner with the same mind, that's not wrong. I was explaining why I think your "necessity" theory is wrong
Not to mention this "justification" will be used by many people. And regardless of you seeing it as a necessity, a girl who doesn't wish to sleep with you but is in love with you, probably WILL do it with you. Only so you wouldn't break up because she knows this. People do many things for love and this occurrence is very often so you can't say it's OK. Especially if a guy didn't say he wants sex from the start and gave the girl time to "give in". (that's just mean)
I understand the difference between your values and those of someone else, but it is not your right to do it with someone who thinks as you do that I dislike. But you trying to justify the break up, as your desperate need for "real" closeness which in your view makes a relationship. I define real closeness a little differently and I was trying to explain it.
Sorry but as I see it, it's like you dumping her because she can't cook or won't listen to rock music. Sounds selfish.
If you can't connect on an emotional level no amount of sex is going to fix that. When you fall in love it is different, but if you already love her does her "putting out" prove her trustworthy or more in love? It doesn't, it is just something she is doing to please you and if she did it so you won't break up, she will most likely be the one to leave you eventually. ( I have quite a fief examples)
So basically what you are saying is: You can't have a complete emotional relationship with a girl unless you insert your penis inside of her?
Even though we all know that women are the ones mixing sex and love, while guys don't do it as often or as much. If it's just sex how come you claim you will receive some sort of "proof of trust".
I don't see men relating sex and feelings this much, unless they use it as an excuse to get some.
@blueandwhite: you're absolutely right. You need to find a girl who syncs with your values. The argument goes both ways, though. She may say that if you aren't willing to have sex, you don't value her as much as she feels you should. No sync = no relationship.
...But it is that point when we will have the conversation. If I see evidence of building trust and intimacy, of course I will wait until you're ready. Just not until marriage. If you don't fully trust BEFORE marriage, why would I want to continue? For those who were hurt in prior relationships, that's too bad - seriously, not sarcastically - but trust for them is the same as for everyone else: a choice. You choose to trust or not. If we don't trust each other, the relationship is doomed.