Why Intimacy Isn't Only About Sex

Why Intimacy Isn't Only About Sex

What do you think when you think about intimacy? Usually, the average human understanding about intimacy accords to sexual intercourse; which is indeed a common aspect of intimacy. But, intimacy isn't only about sex. It's a highly transcendent phenomenon which allows two souls to connect spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. Sex is merely the physical and emotional aspect of it- maybe even spiritual. However, pure intimacy itself cannot simply be attained by means of sexual intercourse.

Have you ever just looked at your partner in awe and just wonder to yourself,

"How did I ever get this lucky?"

That simple phrase itself would be more than likely expressed out of intimacy. The solicitous desire your heart holds for your partner, the simple idea of them, the presence of them...the very existence of them just sends your emotions spiraling into a cyclone of warmth, beatitude, and affection. Have you ever wondered why our heart rate may increase each time you either think about, hear from, or see your partner? That, I believe, is your body's natural way of intimately connecting with your significant other.

You can easily share intimate moments with another person simply by engaging in pure solitude, just gazing into each other's eyes, enjoying the presence of one another. That itself is probably the highest level of intimacy in my personal opinion; even more than sex.

Why Intimacy Isn't Only About Sex

Sex is a physical sensation. Our bodies consist of an endocrine and reproductive system which allows us to feel mind-blowing sensations within our genitals, and the exchanging of those sensations whilst connecting with a partner can render the process as being very intimate, but it does not equal intimacy in itself.

Reason being... if you are in a non-committed relationship with someone, and only decide to have sex for fun...where is the intimacy in doing that? It would almost hold little to no value, no purpose, and no strings attached to it. You cannot and absolutely will not acquire intimacy with someone you don't love and have an emotional connection with.

So, in conclusion...you and your partner can share intimacy any kind of way. Whether it's sexual or nonsexual.The fundamental definition of intimacy is close familiarity or friendship. When you're in the presence of someone or feel an emotional bond with them, you feel close to them. The very thought of them warms your heart and makes your emotions go wild. That's closeness, that's affection, that's love...that's intimacy.

Matter of fact, you don't even have to be in a romantic relationship to share an intimate bond with someone. You can share an intimate bond with anyone; your parent or guardian, your sister or brother, cousins, aunt/uncle, other relatives, friends, associates, co-workers, and even your pets. Intimate relationships don't always end in romance. You can have an intimate relationship with any living being...because the main aspect of intimacy is two living beings uniting together in a sentimental bond.

Personally, my boyfriend and I are long distance. But, the level of intimacy and chemistry we share is like no other.

Why Intimacy Isn't Only About Sex

The way he adoringly gazes at me when we're on video chat almost sends shivers through my veins. My best guy friend even told me that it's amazing how we're not even physically in contact, but we have chemistry that strong even over video. That goes to show the level of pure intimacy we have. And falling asleep on video with him is truly a delicate, incomparable and sensational thing for me. It's a truly amazing thing...just to be in his company though not yet physically, but to fall asleep together and be in complete solitude with him is incomparable to anything almost.

That's pure intimacy and I feel more connected to him than almost ever, and we haven't even had sexual intercourse yet. Haven't even been in the same room together yet.

But we still have that intimate bond. That is something that everyone should be able to experience at least once in their life...because things like this are too amazing and absolutely incredible for anyone to not experience it. Every human deserves it.

That's my stance on how intimacy is not always necessarily about sex. I'd love to hear some of your views regarding this post. Hope you gained a bit of insight upon reading!

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  • "You cannot and absolutely will not acquire intimacy with someone you don't love and have an emotional connection with."
    This is the way I feel about sex. I cannot have sex with someone who I don't love or have an emotional connection (or just some kind of connection) with. Sex=intimacy to me because sex & intimacy both require vulnerability that I see as interchangeable. I know that there are different levels of intimacy that a person can have with different people but I don't personally posses the ability to be vulnerable with people. I have only ever loved my grandmother but I can't even say the words to her because its not easy to come out. I'm not an emotional, vulnerable person. I keep a lot of stuff in. So for me, intimacy is sex & sex is intimacy because it involves the same level of vulnerability.

  • agreed

  • your boyfriend lets you have a guy "best friend"?

    • Whats wrong with that

    • just sayin'

    • @19magic What's wrong about that is sharing how your day was and how it made you feel is a part of intimacy and not giving that to your boyfriend is emotional cheating

    • Show All
  • Absolutely! I don't put sex and intimacy together personally. They are two very different things.

  • This is great. So now I now that there are people who think likewise.
    Great take.

    • Thank you! :)

    • You're welcome. :)

  • Intimacy to me didn't used to require sex. It still doesn't require physical sex. But romantic intimacy, for me, requires mutual sexual desire. If she doesn't want me sexually, my emotionally connection to her drops out of romantic. If it's able to form at all.

    • That makes sense!