Why is being a virgin looked down upon in western society?

A study shows that by age 40, 95% of Americans have had premarital sex. For those who abstained from it until age 20 or older, it is still at a high 81%. Plenty of people use "virgin" in the context of an insult, and there's a lot of pressure put on people to lose their virginity before a certain age, rather than stay celibate until marriage.

My question is: why is promiscuity encouraged, and virginity discouraged in western civilization?
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Superb Opinion

  • For males, it's because:

    • it's assumed that you were simply unsuccessful - i. e., unable to attract a partner - which is a value judgement against you.
    • If you are past 25, and you say you are waiting for marriage, it means you weren't able to attract a wife, which is also a value judgement against you (and one where they use your stated goals against you).
    • Much of society not only doesn't understand religious sacrifices, it mocks them.

    It starts to make more sense once you understand this dirty little "secret" that isn't really a secret - it's just not talked about:

    Marxists - the folks who wanted to spread Communism (which is another term for Marxism) worldwide, were in a Cold War with western democracies in the 1950s - a war they already realized they were losing. Despite their very best efforts, and some notable successes (the early space program), they were falling behind, and they had to put up fences and machine gun towers to keep their own people from being able to leave. The more time passed, the further behind they would become (which is exactly what actually happened). So, they knew they couldn't win militarily, or economically. But they'd read their Sun Tzu, and they understood asymmetric warfare, so they heavily and broadly employed a technique that was relatively inexpensive and difficult to stop - and fairly easy to slip under the radar: SUBVERSION.

    Subversion is when you have a goal you want to achieve, but you can't achieve it if you follow the rules, so you pretend you are working to achieve a different goal that IS allowed under the rules, and you hide your true goals from most people (a few higher-ups will be in on the real goal, of course).

    Marxists started for looking for things they could infiltrate and take over and use to push for their own goals - always claiming to be actually be fighting for something else that was more palatable to the public, of course. Education was their first target, followed by the media - both news rooms as well as Hollywood. In the 60s, they took over a number of civil rights groups, and they took over the Feminist movement. In the 2000s, they took over the gay rights movement, and in the 2010s, the LGBT movement.

    The goal of all of this was to destroy western society from within. Marxists already well understood that western democracies couldn't be defeated externally - they were too strong and too resilient. They had to play the long game, and introduce rot from the inside, and destroy each and every individual pillar that held up western culture.

    Each "branch" had specific goals to achieve. The Feminist's goal was to destroy the nuclear family in the west, using every means at their disposal, and using the Feminist movement as cover. Organizations like BLM were to destroy race relations and divide the populace along racial lines. The LGBT activist movement was to divide people by sexual identity and across social lines. The schools were to teach that morals and values were whatever felt right in the moment, and "the right thing" was whatever made you feel good, regardless of what the actual outcome was. The media was there to reinforce the messages and to provide cover for anyone who broke the law or offended the public along the way.

    Marxists taught women to abandon morals and values, and to abandon families in favor of careers. It taught them to deny men all benefits of marriage, but to continue to demand all benefits that women had always enjoyed. And here we are today: women now value careers above marriage and children, and aren't interested in marriage until their 30s - which is at the tail end of their reproductive window. Obviously too, chastity isn't valued when marriage is not. And so it goes.

    • OK, pause. How the fuck did this go from respecting someone's religious choice to save themselves for marriage, to BLM and Marxists? If you hate leftists, just say that my guy. I'm not a leftist or a conservative, I believe they're both full of shit. I just don't think it makes sense to bring that up in a discussion. Also, why bring up race into it when it doesn't relate? Listen bro, you can get off my thread and go to 4chan with that nonsense, I'm not trying to read none of it.

    • I'm simply trying to educate people as to what happened and how/why, because as much as it's made a huge impact on our society, MOST people have NO IDEA where it came from. If you want to go bury your head in the sand and ignore it, I can't stop you, but some other people might appreciate the information.

    • Sexual liberation and feminism. Marxism alone could mean anything, and the definition of Marxism does not include feminism in practice. You would be surprised, I know some who are very traditional and would definitely not get along with feminists. As far as BLM is concerned, you're just reaching. The only thing that ruined race relations was white people not listening to what black people have been saying. You don't even want to teach the history of Jim Crow in school in details, because it's somehow "divisive". You don't want to improve education in underfunded public schools and HBCU's that get their funding from the government. You are totally fine with breaking black neighborhoods apart by building highways through them, and sending a lot of Black people to jail over Marijuana charges, but sure BLM is the problem. Listen bro, I'm not some woke liberal you think you can fool around, I'm probably more traditional than you in a lot of issue, but I take the problems of my community very seriously. If you want to answer the question, then stick to the topic at hand: promiscuity.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Part of it is the hardwired need for reproduction present in any living species, but from a modern perspective, it's seen as a formative act linked with healthy emotional and sexual development.

    As someone stuck in the virgin camp at what is now seeming to be an insurmountably advanced age, I suffer from depression and suicidal ideation because of how unwanted this status makes me feel, even though I know it's not something people can tell from sight, there are conversations in certain social groups that I can't participate in because I don't have the normal developmental experience that everyone else in that peer group has gone through and essentially feel like an outsider to the human race because I'm apparently not good enough to attract a partner.

    • Would you say that your experience is voluntary, or involuntary? Like have you tried to get it before and failed, or did you simply decide not to get involved until marriage?

    • I've tried, still am but it's feeling more hopeless each day. I can talk to and make friends with women I meet, just can't find anyone who want's to go beyond friend. Certainly not making a voluntary choice, I just can't seem to give it away.

    • That's why. I think intentions make the difference. I don't put emphasis on it so much, and I was raised with traditional values. In your case, it is most likely what I mentioned about the societal stigmatization of virginity that you are dealing with. My advice? Find a purpose and stick to it, women will follow you naturally. Make yourself busy. Self-improvement is key. Also, if you can I advise that you get married first, because dealing with too many exes before marriage can just be a mess.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • That's a Great question My guy👌🏾.
    .
    . Insane how people feel like having sex is the ultimate Life goal

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • A lot is backlash from those who push being a virgin and then slag off anyone who is not one.

    For example a girl has sex at 16 and the virginity crowd will all race forward to label her.

    No one really cares if a person is a virgin is or not, it’s invariably their choice.

    when it does become an issue is when they start slagging off non virgins or pushing the MIMB shit that usually happens.

    Neither side your really comment, as it does not matter if a person is a virgin or not, who really gives a fuck.. well not the virgin (pun was too tempting).

    • See what you did there. No, but seriously though. Maybe you're just unaware, but virginity is stigmatized. When I tell most people that I am a virgin, they think it's just because I can't get laid or whatever. Truth be told, my parents have instilled those family values in me to wait until marriage. It's the peer-pressure aspect of people telling you that you need to lose it by a certain point which I dislike. It takes maturity and discipline to stay focused and on track, but I don't like when people make it out to be a bad thing, or that I'm somehow "missing out" because of my decision. And ypu can't deny that it's something that happens, because it's my experience and unless you were on the same journey, you are probably oblivious to it.

    • It’s your choice, no one really cares either way. Its when the ‘I’m saving it until marriage’ thing turns into the Not dating either, then it’s Incel city and full on MIMB mode

    • I beg your pardon? How is someone not dating an incel? You don't know people's circumstances to make that judgment. You don't know if they are going on a journey of self-improvement, working on their mental health or have other things to worry about. Honestly, that was just an ignorant response.

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  • There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. Louder for the people in the back: There. Is. Nothing. Wrong. With. Being. A Virgin. There is more to life than sex. Sex is part if life, sure, but there are other things. A high body count is essentially saying you’re a piece of meat for the taking, male or female, and that you do not have much else to offer. It’s not cool, it’s not sexy, it is quite lonely and empty and I feel terrible for people who mistake sex for love.

    • Thank god, finally someone with common sense.

  • There are different reasons for each sex, but I won't go into details, in short, the promiscuity of women is promoted by feminist and progressive groups. Male promiscuity was promoted by the man's need to reproduce with as many females as possible in ancient times. The ridicule exerted by women on virgin men comes from intrasexual competition.

    • First one is correct. Second one is wrong. Polygamy does not equal promiscuity. There are cultures that practice polygamy, or having sister-wives. That's fine. The promiscuity I'm talking about is hook-up culture with no strings attached. That's not fine. And by the way it's not just women, I notice it's mostly men who ridicule other virgin men if I'm keeping it honest with you. This whole "chasing pussy" is a guy thing, let's not pretend like it isn't. I think guys always wanted to do it, but because our forefathers realized that having values and commitments is better long-term than bedroom fun in the short-term, but when the women (gatekeepers) and the one's who can give consent decided that they want to be more sexually liberated, then the guys that have always desired it decided to pursue it freely without ramifications. Does that make sense? You can't blame one without the other. And yes, reproduction is a natural urge that we have, but we can fight it with discipline and maturity, something that unfortunately a lot of modern men lack.

  • cause it's pretty much equal to "you can't attract a mate".

    • Incels are different. Involuntary celibates are the ones who try to attract a female, but fail at it. If you don't try because it goes against your values, that doesn't even matter.

    • well it is assumed that you're trying.

    • And that assumption is the problem.

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  • Yeah many people say the movie the 40 Year Old Virgin is an insult to people who have not had sex by the time they reached 25

  • The issue is as you said, wait until marriage

  • you are full of it... Western Society ENCOURAGES Virginity... it is a Common subject of discussion. No one wants their child to be Promiscuous.. Why do you HATE people that you've never met? You sound sick and twisted

    • This is what happens when your argument is based on emotions, rather than facts. You say that it encourages purity, but the numbers say otherwise. How am I sick and twisted for stating the obvious?

  • Oh damn, I would never guess that.,. But it's more than likely because of people's hedonism and non-belief...

  • It is? I always assumed more partners naturally meant less attractive. My hormones automatically point towards virgins even before I knew of the term

    • It is true for women, less true for men. Since I am not a woman, I'm asking from a guy's point of view. It seems that if you don't lose your virginity by a certain age, other dudes will ridicule you, even though you have decided to wait till marriage.

  • Doubtful of this "81% didn''t have sex until 20"

    Clearly they didn't check out what's happening at my high school back in the day where 70% of the graduating class weren't virgin any longer.

    Then they clearly didn't check out my uni. Nearly no one was still a virgin by the end of freshman year.

    • No, you got it wrong. Of the people that ABSTAINED FROM SEX UNTIL AGE 20, 81% of them ended up having premarital sex.

  • I've never noticed this to be the case.