Girls, why is being raped so terrifying?

[Anonymous]

I'm a survivor, and I guess I'm trying to process things, it was sex, nonconsensual but just a physical act I've experienced plenty of times before, but why was THAT so terrifying?

[Koneko911]

Maybe for you it doesn't matter. That's all fine and good. How you take the situation is you. For some people it's a horrible experience. I was raped throughout my childhood by my big brother. And it was and still is a traumatic thing for me. It's sex. Something I value as an act that matters and something I wanna do with someone I love. Not someone forcing me to do it knowing it's not what I want

[Asker]

Oh, it was definitely horrible for me! I'm just trying to process how it was different because physically there wasn't something for me to be scared of, only to endure, but it was one of the most traumatic and terrifying things I've ever been through, which doesn't seem logical

[Koneko911]

It's extremely logical... someone is literally forcing a sexual act on you... that's logical asf 😒

[Asker]

That's fair

[Asker]

Just it's far more psychological than physical... of course i guess if the damage done wasn't I wouldn't still be recovering a year later

[Koneko911]

Again depends. Rape causes physical damage as well 😕

[Asker]

Oh, it definitely did, I had to have a very humiliating procedure done because I was torn anally, but the psych damage feels so much deeper

[Anonymous]

Because you had no control of the situation and were violated in the most intimate way possible. It’s traumatic for any woman to experience that. Your sense of safety is destroyed and, in my case, I was betrayed by someone I trusted. The trick is moving on from it and not letting it continue to victimize you going forward.

[Asker]

Have you figured out how to perform that trick because I'm still working on it a year later

[Opinion Owner]

That’s a tough question to answer. I was afraid someone was going to break into my apartment. I was afraid to sleep alone. I thought people were following me. I was afraid all the time. I went to counseling but didn’t feel it helped all that much. In the end, I just decided to take back control of my life. I swallowed the fear and forced myself to go out and do things and be around people. Over time, when bad things didn’t happen, I became more comfortable. I also took steps to feel more empowered. I took self-defense classes and I learned how to shoot a gun and got a concealed carry license. Now I feel better equipped to defend myself. Your attacker wins when you continue to be terrorized after the assault. Whether you can do this alone or with professional help, you have to find that inner strength inside you.

[Breanna_nonbinary]

It’s not the sex that you are terrified with, it the lack of control. You no longer are in control and that’s terrifying for everyone.

[Asker]

That makes sense

[LazerBean]

I think rape is definitely on a far different level for children, as well as women who are not sexually experienced.

[Asker]

Agreed, but that doesn't explain why it was so terrible for me, a sexually active adult woman

[LazerBean]

Oh my bad, I ready your question in a different tone and thought you were asking something different.

[Anonymous]

Because rape is an act of violence, no matter how you look at it.