Sexual Relationships
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Why is he not into sex more than once a day?

Heya.
I'm in a new relationship, he's my first everything, and well, I like to show him how much he means to me, if you get my drift.

He, however, is not all that into it more than once a day. And that kind of frustrates me. Like, when we're together he always compliments me, he can barely keep going before he cums, and that's nice, it just means I don't get much out of it before it's over. After, he's not a cuddler, he needs to move on, be productive.. I don't know. It just bothers me. I feel kind of.. Needy. And I don't want to be ashamed of wanting to be with my boyfriend.

Do you have any advice as to why he's like this, how I can set the mood right? I also don't want to pressure him. I just kind of thought this was what guys liked, now I feel like a nympho.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Maybe he's embarrassed that he cums too quick. That's a very common problem. The thing is, it sounds like he's got a really understanding girlfriend. If he could just wait a little while after he cums the first time (stay there with you cuddling or whatever) then he should be able to get hard again in not too long a period of time. And then since he's already just cum, he should be able to last longer. Also, you might need to guide him to give you enough foreplay beforehand (or after) so that you can cum. He should want to do that.

    • Thank you for MH Guy opinion!

  • People have different sex drive levels. Unfortunately, I'd probably also be like him and only go at it once per day. Ha e you tried talking with him? I know it can be awkward, but voicing your concerns to him and getting to understand your struggles can help. It did with my ex and I when we had a similar issue to this.

    • Well, can you tell me why you don't want to more than once? Like, I know I shouldn't feel this way, but it kind of makes me think I'm not good enough. Like he's keeping it to a minimum for a reason. It just confuses me, because he tells me how good I am in bed, how he can't last for long because I'm so good and what not. If it's so good, why don't you want more?

    • From my personal experience, it was always one and done because I simply couldn't continue even if I wanted to. Yeah it was good, but my mind was telling me yes while my body said no. Wanting didn't equate to doing. Tried before to continue, it was just RIP. *shrugs*

    • Ah, in that way. Well, I didn't think guys needed much more than an hour before they could go again. Perhaps that is the case.. But 12-24 hours? Doesn't that seem a bit extreme?

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Most Helpful Girls

  • He probably can't cum more than once a day. Cumming is important for guys. If he can't cum then having full blown sexual intercourse would probably be quite a chore for him. Let him know you don't need full blown sexual intercourse every time. Having him go down on you and lick your clit is good. Easy for him too. Sucking, licking and stroking his cock is also good fun though you can't expect him to cum (and he might find the whole activity to be an annoying tease when he can't cum).

    • I didn't expect it to be such a problem to cum more often. Maybe you're right. Would make sense. Thanks.

  • if he plays World of Warcraft, I'd check into that as its a more natural form of contraceptive/BC.

    Serious note: It could be his sex drive and the seduction/foreplay, what leads up to it that could help. I would definitely try communicating with him to really see where he ultimately stands.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 17

  • You don't sound like a nympho, most girls like to cuddle and sounds like you have a healthy sex drive. I'm surprised that his sex drive isn't stronger at that age.

  • A. It have to eat three times a day and we have responsibilities. Men don't all think they live in the playboy mansion.

    B. Men have testosterone and it drains when they finish. It has to build up.

  • talk to him about it.. or jump on him

    • If I jump him he's like, no, you're getting me horny. Like it's a bad thing.

    • see! you make him horny by jumping on him... problem solved

    • No, because he literally pushes me away.

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  • Once a day doesn't indicate a "low sex drive". I'm assuming he has a full time job or studies and he does most of the physical work during the sex.

  • People have different sex drives, I feel like society gives this idea that guys always want sex 24/7 and that's why girls with high sex drives can be disappointed when they end up with a guy who doesn't have such a high sex drive.

    I mean the answer should be obvious enough, you need to talk to him about it. Tell him that you wish you had sex more and that you want to cuddle with him more too.

  • Nympho id if you are asking for too much of sex. Twice is ok, and even for him, please expect a skip once or twice a week. It will happen for you as well.

    He will improve in future. Don't worry.

  • He probably wanks to much and can't keep it up for a second round or let it up hours later lol. How many timeliness a day you wanting to sex him?

    • He doesn't seem to, actually. He's needy after a few days apart, but then he goes back to "once is enough". Also, when he is in the mood, he's really in the mood and can't wait to get it in. Like, I just enjoy the foreplay, the subtle touch, all that romantic crap. How often I want to? Well, considering I only get one time it's hard to know how many times I actually want to go, it's just more than once.

    • Maybe he just wants to build up the tension again so you both crave it even more, I normally go 3 times

    • Huh, good point. Didn't consider that. Building up the tension by not being intimate at all.. Interesting. Just wouldn't be my way of doing it.

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  • Do you actually want sex because you are attracted to him and horny, or because you need to be self affirmated and wanted?

  • So you're saying he cums too soon, you dont get to cum and he doesn't want to go for another round to satisfy your needs?

    • Well, yes. But it's not like he doesn't pay attention to me, it's just that it takes a long time for me to finish and he wants to get going, you know. I don't mind, I still enjoy it, I'd just like it to happen a bit more often then.

    • It doesn't bother you because its the first time you're experiencing this and you're excited. But unfortunately this is pretty serious. Seems like he doesn't care as much as he should about your satisfaction. In the long run this will only get worse UNLESS you and your boyfriend sit down and have a nice talk about it. Tell him how you feel. What you told us here. If he cares about you then things will change. If not, sorry but this relationship is bound to end soon.

    • Hm.. I don't know. I guess the issue might grow with time. I just don't know how I'd go about a conversation like that. Like, I just want to be with him. So it might come off as weird and awkward if I bring up like that I want to finish. I don't want to sound selfish. Especially because he's a lot of the times like, "I want you to finish tonight" but then because it just takes so long for me to get there, I guess I pressure myself a bit too and it doesn't help, we just go at it till he's finished and that's that... I don't know. I don't want to make a big deal out of it either. None of this is on him though, he's a perfect gentleman, I love him to bits. We just have different drives I guess.

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  • finger yourself in between

  • We're people as much as anyone. Don't be pushy.

  • sounds like he has a low sex drive which isn't something you can fix unless it's being caused by any medication that he's on. if he doesn't last that long you need to have him start getting you off before he sticks it in

  • Lingerie! That's your key to success.

  • kinda ur job to turn him back on

  • I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to keep up physically with more than once a day.

    I just don't generate enough sperm for that, lol.

  • maybe he has low testosterone

  • if he doesn't like it, then dont force
    period

  • honestky his sex drive may nkt be as high as yours is but in my opinion he is very lucjy to have someone like you in his life he may also feel bad that he doesn't last or finish you off

    • But shouldn't that be a reason to go again? I'm just a bit confused as his actions are contradicting in my mind. Also if I try to get him in the mood he tells me to stop BECAUSE I'm making him horny. Like, what's the problem? That was my intention mister. Even that though, I don't even think I really need the sex part, I just want to cuddle, feel him long for me and tease him, you know. Have more intimate moments with him throughout the day. That's what I want. I just don't know how to explain that without coming off as needy. Especially because I guess that essentially is what I am.

    • I don't know honestly what im thinking is kinda fucked up to say

    • Are you thinking he's gay? lol, because he's not. Trust me.

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