Why is it so taboo to just want sex?

[Anonymous]

This is something I have been thinking about often. Why is it so taboo for people to just want to have sex and leave it as that? Let me explain:

Sample 1:
Some people get on Tinder to hookup. It's considered a hookup app. However, when you tell a girl that you are strictly there to hookup, they bash you for it. They ask you questions like, "is all that you want from me is sex? Nothing more?" Sometimes they say, "Ewww... you're just looking to hookup? I bet you have a lot of STDs."

Sample 2:
When I'm scrolling through social media, I see men getting bashed for wanting sex. I see memes about all men want is sex or that all men care about is sex. Things like that.

I am speaking from a male perspective, but this question is open to everyone, especially sexual people like myself.

When I see things like that, it just annoys me. We are all adults. Adults have sexual needs. Adults have sex. It's part of the human experience. Why is so taboo to want to have sex with someone? Why do I need to be in a relationship to want to have sex with someone?

I don't think that wanting to have sex should be taboo and I don't think that people should be shamed for it. Some people don't want relationships, and that should be okay.

[MrOracle]

You are a man - men are biologically programmed to "spread their seed" - to have sex with as many different women as possible, which increases your chance of having (many) children who live into adulthood and reproduce themselves, passing along your genes. Men who lacked this instinct, or for whom it wasn't very powerful, tended to have their genes die out, leaving only those men who strongly had this instinct. For men, casual sex is something we desire, and we don't need to have a relationship with the woman to desire it.

Women are NOT men, though, and women have VERY different biological programming. If you set aside the last 60 years since birth control has been widely available, and look at the previous 10,000+ years, having sex inevitably led to pregnancy, and while it takes a guy just 5-10 minutes to get a girl pregnant, for the girl, her life changes forever, and the direct impact of that pregnancy affects her almost every moment of every day for around 3 years, before the child is old enough to be left alone for 2 minutes at a time without dying. As part of that process, women carry the child in their bodies, and often this means becoming vulnerable and needing medical care. Then there is the birth itself, which for most of history meant a 10-15% chance of dying in childbirth - and then the recovery and raising of the infant. The point is: 10 minutes of sex for a man is a fun time - 10 minutes of sex for a woman was often a life-changing - and too often, a life-ENDING situation.

Is it any surprise, then, that women feel VERY differently about casual sex than men do? And, even though we've had birth control for 60 years, and in that time, sex does NOT inevitably lead to pregnancy, in evolutionary terms, that's still the blink of an eye. It takes about 1000 generations - or about 20,000 years for humans - to see major changes in instinctual behavior, and we've only had 60 of those years so far. That's why women's instincts and desires are still based on pre-1960s life, when sex meant pregnancy and a life-altering situation - which is why relationships are SO important to women, and why casual sex is looked down upon.

And though many women today TRY to have casual sex and enjoy it, most find they don't enjoy it - they grow attached far too easily and then the desperately want a relationship with the guy, even though she knew it was only causal sex going into it. She can't help it - that's just how her feelings and instincts work - it's part of being a woman, and isn't something we can really change.

At best, you can search as much as you can for the relatively few women who are truly okay with casual sex - it's just that, as a percentage, there aren't that many of them.

[triff]

My understanding of Taboo is not just you wanting sex it's who with Teens having sex with Dadies and grandpa's It maybe sex between siblings or Step relationships Let's not be forgetting BDSM Thresums more sums Orgy and so many others But not because you just want sex

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I think maybe the reason why is because we're usually told that sex, in general, is something special that we should only do with someone we love. I think it's ok to hookup with people as long as they know you do not want a relationship. I think it's also because people know sex in hookups are not the same as sex in relationships are.

[slatyb]

Taboo? Only in fundamentalist religious cults. The rest of us have no problem with it. Maybe it's time for you to find a new circle of friends, or maybe a whole new city.

[NorthwestRider]

Only the religious prudish nutjobs hate sex

[Mark987]

I find it depneds the culture and the people. I was the same but I lost my virignity at 14... and I am from a spiritual family.. but I never looked back.

[Juxtapose]

Prudes are dumb as shit and have no logical consistency for their beliefs.

[In_Trance]

There's nothing taboo about it, however this shows you the influence that commercial religion has had on society to make it this way

[najekim]

Three words. . . Unrealistic Religious Dogma.

[CubaPirate]

I didn't know it was

[Anonymous]

Because men and women want very different things out of sex.

[Anonymous]

Because the perception is that it is men who just want sex and they are using women to get their needs met. But the fact is those women are also using those men to get their own needs met, it's just that their needs are different. Men and women both have needs and relationships meet those needs, but women's needs are simply seen as more "legitimate" than men's needs.