Why is it that men act like they want good girls when they really are attracted to bad girls?

[Anonymous]

So here is the breakdown of what I see happening with a lot of men:

• Men say they want a good girl not a slutty one (you know virgin, submissive, dresses modestly)
• They find this good girl and gets married
• After a few years he realizes sex with this good girl is boring
• Cheats with slutty girl

Why does this happen? Should men just start going after the slutty ones in the first place to avoid this mess?

It seems like men have this weird logic that they can take a good girl and turn them slutty just for them. Even tho the chances of that happening are extremely low.

[MrOracle]

Most men don't cheat. Of those who do, they are OVERWHELMINGLY men in the top 10% of all men - most being in the top 5% of men. Unlike the majority of men, who are virtually invisible to most women, these top guys have women constantly flirting or even outright throwing themselves at him. Such guys have ENDLESS options with women, and they are by FAR the guys who are most likely to cheat. And I'd say that if he's a top 5% guy, it's almost certain that he's going to cheat.

If women don't realize that top men virtually all cheat, they're either actively not paying attention, or they're delusional. A woman who gets with a top guy needs to understand that she WILL be sharing him with other women. That's part of the package. Yes, he might be hot, he might be successful, and he might be living a high lifestyle, but all that means is that his pool of interested women is massive, and he can have virtually any of them anytime he wants.

If a woman wants a guy who will be faithful, she can choose a guy in the bottom 90% - but let's be real: most women would rather be with a top 10% guy and be cheated on than be with a lower 90% guy, because she's more concerned about her Instagram pics than her actual relationship.

Yes, of course, there are exceptions, but what I've written is true of the majority, and we all know plenty of people who fit this description personally. This is why I have no sympathy for women who get cheated on by such guys. Hell, there are women who think they're going to get with a top actor, musician, or athlete, and think he's going to be faithful to her. The reality is that guy is going to spend 2/3 of the year (or more) on the road, and he's going to be banging lots of other women. This doesn't mean he's emotionally connected to any of them, but he's definitely going to be sleeping with them. Anyone who doesn't understand that that's part of the package with such men is beyond helping.

It's also important to understand that there's a BIG difference between SEXUAL attraction and RELATIONSHIP attraction. Men will bang LOTS of women who they would NEVER consider having a relationship with, because men can separate sex from an emotional connection. But most women don't understand that there's even a difference, and assume that all attention is relationship attention. Most men are looking for "good girls" for relationships, but that doesn't mean they'll limit sex to only good girls - in fact, if they're single and they're just looking for casual sex, it makes far more sense to get it from the "bad girls", because they aren't relationship material in the first place - even if they think they are.

[Asker]

a lot don't cheat but I still often hear of men complaining about how their wives never want sex

[MrOracle]

Sure, but that's hardly the same thing.

[Asker]

I view it as pretty similar. If a guy is complaining about that its likely that he's thought about cheating

[MrOracle]

A "thought crime" is no where near the same as an action, or even a real thing. What matters is what people DO.

[Asker]

Oof nah the thought thing would be more hurtful in my opinion. Means they are literally plotting against their spouse. Going through with cheating with no plotting just shows they are stupid and bad with decision making 😂

[AmeerX]

Actually, a lot of women loose the drive and husbands start thinking of alternatives and then the wives cry there husbands are cheating. I think that's the reason why most girls are younger while men are older in relationships. Young girls can keep up while young guy with an old woman will have a hard time. apple1996 i hope that's what you imply

[Asker]

@AmeerX men lose their sexs drives wayy before women. Like literally start losing at 20 after they peak. Women don't start losing it till 50s after they peak. If a woman says she's losing her drive it's usually just a excuse and she's no longer attracted to her aging husband anymore

[AmeerX]

I suppose but we are stretching the limits here. Anyhow, the main question was if guys like bad girls. The answer is that they like girls that are readily available for sleeping but for marriage they really don't. And personal preference, no I want a clean prude girl over someone who slept with multiple guys in just a year or two

[Asker]

@AmeerX that's the point of my question. Guys say they want that yet are disappointed when their sex lives aren't exciting after a few years. Like y'all literally searching for girls that aren't fun

[AmeerX]

I can just say the following. Beautiful girls aren't available to us. and neither do we get to pick a girl through dating to say that we go fed up after a few years. I am still happy being friends with a crush turned friend as today even though she is married as the day I met her. It is now 4 years. So, I didn't think of her sexually when I confessed my feelings. I just think it was love at first sight. Do you believe it, I just watched her and became fond of her )). So, I would say my preference is a smart girl, not fat obviously, a little on the modern side and smart wits )) and some fairer skin like mine )).

[AmeerX]

I hope Mr oracle is not tired of the notifications. I made a separate comment here. You can answer there if you like haha. İt was fun to talk about it

[Miristheiss]

You are making an assumption. You are falsely attributing disappointing sex to be only from the man's point of view and that it only happens with "good" girls and by insinuation also asserting that men are always satisfied long term being with "bad" girls. You are just making assertions and assumptions all over the place that are not founded in any facts at all.

[RangerBlue22]

It’s human nature to be intrigued with something that is challenging and unpredictable.

However the vast majority of men are not attached to bitchy women the same way women are attracted to assholes. Not even close.

Personally I might have a fleeting attraction to a bitchy girl (if she’s at least a 7). I think she might be trying to test me and once I pass her test she will show a much softer side. I dated one girl like this a few years ago. She was very bitchy on our first date. Didn’t even want to give me a hug when it was done. It was a long story but I still did something nice for her later and to my surprise she completely softened up. Our second date was much better and we did a lot more than hug at the end of it. Dated for 9 months and she overall treated me well for most of it. Didn’t end well but that’s another story.

But anyway once a man figured out the girl is a bitch inside and out (which my ex wasn’t) he won’t tolerate long. If she acted bitchy on the 2nd date I would of quit.

However women will sadly stay attracted to assholes for months even years. Then when they finally end it they are a wreck but the writing was on the wall like a neon sign for a very long time. It’s all about the “challenge” to them. They mistake his aggression for masculinity.

Truth is I don’t have a problem with women being attracted to assholes but I do have a very serious issue with how they like to play victim when it’s all said and done. They keep taking the abuse when it’s plain as day he’s a pos. Its nobody’s fault but your own if you choose to dive head first into the dark pit. Women get to pick and choose men most of the time and they need to own up to their shitty decisions.

[Asker]

Men will stay married to women they don't like longer then they want to so I really don't believe that they tolerate bad women any less then women do with bad men

[sassy_receptor]

^^facts

[RangerBlue22]

But men are not attracted to bitchy women the same way women are attracted to asshole men. I am talking about the early stages here. Being bitching isn’t attracted feminine behavior. But unfortunately being an asshole is can come off as masculine energy to a lot of women. It’s false confidence masking a deep insecurity. But many women have a harder distinguishing that and the asshole ends up being rewarded for his bad behavior. As for men staying married to a bitchy woman. I actually see this going on right now with a family member. The reason he won’t cut the rope is: 1) he will definitely get screwed over in divorce courts. 2) she always seems to do the bare minimum to “fix” things when she notices he is seriously considering leaving. But she inevitably cycles back to her former bitchiness at some point. She just can’t help it. 3). At his age dating and remarrying again will be next to impossible. He isn’t broke but he isn’t rich either. He will definitely be much poorer after a divorce. Also he will likely die alone and that thought terrifies him. It’s sadly a very legitimate fear for men as well.

[sassy_receptor]

well we can’t feel bad for you guys because you’re scared of being alone. if you really wanted to change your circumstance you’d divorce but many men don’t so they do in fact, in some way, like bitchy women. that’s just the truth.

[RangerBlue22]

@sassy_receptor no western society has set things to enable and reward bitchy women who manage to sucker a guy into marrying them. Who usually gets the alimony checks? The man or the woman? Also women always have it easier when it comes to finding dates when all else is equal. As they are semi attractive then half the work is already done despite their personalities.

[RangerBlue22]

This is one of the reasons middle aged men have exponentially higher suicide rates by the way.

[Asker]

@sassy_receptor my father in law told all his sons to marry bitchy women since they know how to keep a man on track in life. Which is probably true. A woman that's a pushover will not keep a man on track but a bitchy woman will

[RangerBlue22]

There is a huge difference between a bitchy woman and strong woman. A bitchy woman will control, manipulate and abuse a man for her own ends. She doesn’t care about his self esteem or his own goals and dreams. She cares about herself and herself only. She is often manipulative and will “throw him bones” if she notices the danger is getting real if him living. But her first impulse is to think of herself first. A strong woman will have better judgment. She may come off as bitchy when the moment calls for it. But this really is “tough love” because she wants to motivate and improve her partner. She will act that way when necessary because she knows what’s best for their marriage and the future. But her intentions aren’t selfishly motivated. You can usually tell the difference when it comes which woman cares more “optics”. The bitchy woman will usually act sweet in front of other people but treat the guy like shit behind the scenes. The strong woman will push the guy to improve even when it’s no secret to others what is going on. She doesn’t care about optics and much as she cares about results. A bitchy woman is NOT a strong woman.

[CrazyGirl2]

I have NO idea, but I do know that they ask the same about us! “Why do women always say they want a nice guy, but the always date “bad-boy” assholes who abuse them, then when they are all worn out and carrying the bad-boy’s baby in her arms, THEN they suddenly want us?” I have NEVER dated anything close to a Bad-Boy. My first boyfriend cheated on me and I dumped his ass, but he never mistreated me (other than the cheating) my second boyfriend was amazing, i love him deeply and I’d still be with him if he didn’t end up at a college across the country! So I don’t know, I don’t think it’s really true of either sex, I just think some guys who are maybe 2’s, 3’s, or 4’s think they belong with women who are 8’s, 9’s, and 10’s, and wonder why the “stuck-up bitches” won’t go out with them? Maybe if they tried being a little more realistic with their expectations, and WHO they ask out, they might find real love! Same for the women! Just a feeling based on personal observations. I could be 100% wrong, but from what I’ve seen the “nice guys” is code for Chubby or skinny out of shape guys who spend WAY too much time indoors playing video games and surfing porn and not NEARLY enough time working out, or anything remotely exercise based (like sports… NO! NOT Madden Football for PlayStation!)

[VIVANT]

But being “good” I don’t like this term lol I’m gonna call it unassuming— you can be outwardly unassuming and privately love wild sex tho. Do you think guys who want “ unassuming” gfs/ wives, will lose interest if a seemingly low key girl turns out to love sex? I guess for sone maybe they think if she already likes sex without him “creating” her, thrn she’ll have a sexual will of her own which to dumbos out there means cheat. The “logic” is on par with someone who loves good food so of course they’re gonna steal 🙄

I also wonder how many women really want to be with a guy who thinks he “ created” her. Maybe women who pretend to have no will initially become resentful bc it’s degrading and eventually stop wanting sex and then the guy is upset bc no sex. I don’t think it’s really one type of person over the other but rather the inability to appreciate people are complex & the subsequent pressure to pretend to be what we are not and that leads to resentment.

[Asker]

Yeah the creating thing is gross like women can have their own experiences without having to share everything with their spouse

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT it's not just cheating. We all know that people with morals won't cheat, period, even if they're attracted to someone. It's the dissatisfied state. It's her knowing that she got less than she wanted and that she will never be truly happy being with this man. And the guy knows it. And she knows it, both consciously and subconsciously. And it makes it much more difficult for her to enjoy sex, and more difficult to orgasm. And that's why she doesn't want to have sex with him as much. And so they drift apart and they begin having problems in their relationship. And they either just remain unhappy together or they break up and get a divorce.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 No, it is not gross. And I don't appreciate you saying that. Two people who discover their sexuality TOGETHER is a very beautiful thing!!

[Asker]

@Jamie05rhs it's definitely gross when guys demand that tho like they just have to have a virgin type of thing. Obviously it's fine if both people are okay with that but when the guy has to have it definitely gross 🤢

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 No, it is not! 😠

[Asker]

@Jamie05rhs so you think it's okay for guys to demand that women are virgins? You do realize only men that are insecure want that so they can make the woman believe that he's the best there is since she hadn't had anyone else

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 Okay, so I'm insecure. There. I admitted it. It's the truth. Are you happy?

[Jamie05rhs]

But even if I wasn't insecure, I would still want a virgin.

[Asker]

@Jamie05rhs lol well I wasn't targeting you. More saying that in general

[Asker]

@Jamie05rhs if a guy truly liked the girl it wouldn't matter if she was a virgin or not. Being a virgin/non virgin doesn't change who a person is

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 Yes; that part is correct. It wouldn't matter as far as his love for her. HOWEVER, unfortunately, a man loving a woman isn't enough to make a successful long-term relationship. There are certain factors at play here that are completely out of his control. Wise men recognize that, and they avoid risky propositions such as this.

[Asker]

@Jamie05rhs a woman being a virgin is not gonna make the relationship more successful🙄 There are some dumbasses that believe in the pair bonding thing but that is proven to be false

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 Actually, it's 100% true. And it's been proven time and time again,

[VIVANT]

@Jamie05rhs wait why is she unhappy based on what from what I said? I was referring to People who are not honest about who they are or what they want and being resentful later on bc they are trapped with someone they don’t want and who doesn’t want then. Their true self. I do not think I even mentioned cheating tho. Also I’d like to distinguish wanting to share your first time with someone compared to a person wanting to be someone else’s first Time. Very very different thing and Jamie I don’t think (tho I don't know and I’m nit trying to speak for apple) apple was necessarily saying it’s gross for a virgin to want to be with a virgin rather the idea an experienced guy is carving out the kind of sexual partner he wants in a virgin.

[Jamie05rhs]

"wait why is she unhappy based on what from what I said?" @VIVANT I'm referring to a woman who has sex with someone, and then enters into a committed long-term relationship with someone else. She will never forget the first guy. (Or the second, third, fourth, or fifth guy. Depending on how many there are.) The way he looked. The way he smelled. The way he felt. The way he sounded when he talked dirty to her. His presence. His personality. His muscles. His dick. Every new guy will now be compared to that. And if any part is lacking, she will miss what she doesn't have anymore. She will feel a deep sense of nostalgic sadness and regret. And she may resent him for not being those things, and even resent herself for choosing him. (This happens quite often, actually.)

[Jamie05rhs]

"I was referring to People who are not honest about who they are or what they want and being resentful later on bc they are trapped with someone they don’t want and who doesn’t want them. Their true self." @VIVANT I don't think I quite understand what you mean. Can you elaborate, please? "I do not think I even mentioned cheating tho." Yes, you did. ("Which to dumbos out there means cheat.")

[Jamie05rhs]

"Also I’d like to distinguish wanting to share your first time with someone compared to a person wanting to be someone else’s first Time. Very very different thing and Jamie I don’t think (tho I don't know and I’m not trying to speak for apple) apple was necessarily saying it’s gross for a virgin to want to be with a virgin rather the idea an experienced guy is carving out the kind of sexual partner he wants in a virgin." @VIVANT OHHHHHH. Okay. Gotcha. 👌

[ShellyB]

Well first I have not actually seen this happen a lot in real life, I do see it happen a lot on TV shows! In real life I know of two cases and they were not marriages they were just people who had been dating a while.

Second, I have said before that I had a professor who said for anything like this, to think about evolution and what made sense 10,000 years ago or a million years ago more than what people say or are taught today. So my guess would be, they pick a "good" girl bc they would be a good partner for having and raising kids, but then they want to hook up w others to increase the number or the odds of kids they would have and the ones who are easiest to hook up with are the ones who would appear slutty.

I do not think that most people actually think it out like that "she will be a good partner for having and raising kids" or whatever I think it's more instinctive.

JMO!

[DaveJord]

Well, there is a saying; "That every man secretly wants his women to be a freak just for him."

So, I would agree most guys want their women to be a good woman, but a freak in bed just for him. Thats why there is the schoolteacher or librarian fetish where guys find them sexy, because they are so modest in public, but secretly they are wild cats in the bedroom.

As far as cheating goes... well women cheat just as much as men, and there are types of reason as to why they do that. So, I would not blame it on the sex. I think women like to think it was all about that, but honestly that is because it is easy for them to accept. What's hard for them to accept is that they probably did not treat their men right or don't really know how to treat a good man right outside the bedroom.

Sex usually goes bad in a relationship for a lot of other reasons other than the physical act itself. Emotionally it become devoid of passion, because of other reasons. When sex goes bad, it probably because there are other serious issues within the relationship, but again it's just easy to blame it on the sex... but honestly, it's hard to take responsibility for the real reasons. But sex is usually just a symptom, and not the cause.

[Lliam]

If "good girl" means virgin, submissive, and dresses modestly, I'm not interested.
I think it's sick to remain a virgin or to value "purity".
Sex is healthy. It's a good thing. I'm not interested in anyone who doesn't get that.

Give me a woman with a strong libido and experience who is smart, ambitious, self reliant, sincere, loyal, honest, tender, compassionate, fun, passionate, adventuresome, loves life, has common sense, self respect, healthy values, hopes and dreams, and is looking for a loyal partner. Quite the opposite of that "good girl" bullshit.

I never wanted someone I had to take care of like a child or who was too timid to enjoy what life has to offer. Non-sexuality is a defect.

[Truth0225]

I think that’s how I was when I was younger but now I’d want a good girl that I can grow with.

[dustybiker]

I deleted a really long opinion. I’m in much to much of an honest and blunt mood. 😁 It was good.

[Date_a_Snob]

I would appreciate some honest, blunt advice on my questions

[spartan55]

I don't understand the logic either. I've always maintained that the woman I am in a relationship with has to be a complete slut in bed.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

LOL that last paragraph. It's so true, that's literally all men want from women. I don't know why it's so hard for women to be comfortable with.

I don't know if "turn them into" part is necessarily true, I think a lot of guys just want the woman to have a freaky side in bed. Why does good sex have to correlate with her cheating?

Honestly, what I see a lot of is the woman pretending to be something she's not, she gets burnt out after a while and becomes sour towards the man. And then he feels like the relationship becomes one-sided.

There are plenty of guys who are just actual losers, don't get me wrong. I mean in general

[Berethor]

Sounds like a madonna-whore complex, anyway slutty girls only good as side chick, as they can't be trusted, and I would take a prude over a slut any day of the week, sluts are dirty.

[sassy_receptor]

i don’t know why either. they’re lying to themselves.

[Asker]

They really are lying to themselves lol

[Jennz6]

Yess

[Vegasrunner]

@apple1996 You belief is based on a flawed sense of reality and a poor understanding of male needs in relationships. Typically men that do this get married when their value is the lowest to anyone that will tolerate them.18-25 etc. Over time as they make more money and build a career that start attracting attention from other women they realize that they had more options than they thought and men are only as faithful as their options. in my opinion men shouldn't get married until after - 35 years of age - they have 6 months of savings - they've had sex w/ at least 50 women. That way they can make a more informed decision

[Asker]

@Vegasrunner men that have sex with 50+ women aren't the type that are gonna want to be settling down

[Vegasrunner]

@apple1996 Agreed, That is because the way things currently are the number of men capable of having sex with over 50+ women is significantly small so we have all the options. If men overall held themselves to that standard of having sex w/ a minimum of 50 + women b4 marrigae, there would be more of the marrying type added to the pool. As it is most men get married to young, and never really get an opportunity to realize their sexual potential when their market value is high. That's why in my opinion the divorce rate is so high, with women leaving at an 70-80% rate.

[sassy_receptor]

*when you make a simple comment about you have some random hIgH vAlUe male spewing bullshit nobody gives a fuck about🥴* typical GAG moment

[miniskirtcaley81]

Cause us bad girls are more fun. Teeheehee

[coachTanthony]

Men want an exciting girl whom can be also good. I get what you're saying it's like why are men attracted to strippers and dancers... because they are hot until you start trying to date one.

[Asker]

Don't even think I'm going to the level of strippers and whatnot as bad. Some of these guys here think just cuz a girl isn't a virgin or had 1 boyfriend that she's no longer good 😂

[coachTanthony]

Ha so true.

[NathanDavis]

I see women as a whole and for what they truly are... in detail

to simplify them and reduce them to two extremes, either "good or bad girls" would be something juvenile for me to do

[Asker]

I agree there is no good or bad girls

[NathanDavis]

there is great girls though... I go for those

[BobSansMal]

Males have different attractions towards good vs bad girls. In general, males will prefer a "good" girl for a relationship, and a "bad" girl for a 1 night stand.
I think that as males age, our preferences in general turn more to desiring relationships over 1 night stands, so the pattern of behavior you're seeing will vary depending on which males you're observing.

[Asker]

I'm more talking about married men/men in relationships. Any age

[mattyprince]

I believe it was the great philosopher Usher who said "We want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed" I think that just about sums it up.

I think the reason most guys want a good girl is the only want them to be slutty for them... as a stereotype a slutty girl may be more likely to cheat?

Not saying I agree with that stereotype I'm just saying it as a generalised though amongst a lot of men

[Asker]

The thing is that is a rare find. Most good girls are not gonna be freaky in bed

[mattyprince]

It's very rare... so rare I'm not convinced it really truly exists

[Asker]

Yeah exactly

[ManOnFire]

I thought that was the kinda thing women are into?🤔 Claiming to want good men but being attracted to bad boys and trying to explain it away.

But if the guy is finding sex with a good girl to be boring, it could be because she always wants to be "vanilla." Never any gritty moments or gritty kind of sex. Most men like both. Vanilla and gritty sex. Maybe they just need to encourage their good girl to get a little freaky with them.

[mrmonogamous]

I’m going to have to disagree with this one. Maybe I just got lucky, but my wife was, and is a good girl. She always dresses conservatively, is very modest about her body. We got married when I was 21 and she was 22. I’d had sex with 4 girls before her. She’s been with 5 guys before me. Neither one of us was promiscuous. But when my wife and I are between the sheets, she’s willing to do ~almost~ anything to make me happy. And I do the same for her. Not all “good girls” are plain Janes. Once they’re naked they can be wild!

[Ill_made_Knight]

I'll have some of both please... with a side of situational awareness

[PizzaPieMamaBear]

They’re not they look good girls guys are easy they want a pretty girl, that’s sweet and nurturing and doesn’t nag that’s it

[Sixgunsound]

I've been with the good girl for 11 years now. Therefore not all men fit your stereotype.

[Miristheiss]

Your premise is off.

What you probably are noticing... a bad girl will probably just put out... put out on the first night and if he wants some sex, he may be pleased to find a warm body to screw... then never talk to her again.

A good girl, that is the type he is more likely to marry and take home to his family, give his heart to and want to have a family with. (The girl who makes him wait and who doesn't sleep around and who has some better values and wants to be in love and not sleep around at bars/clubs all the time.

Many guys wouldn't dare want to marry the "bad girl". She put out for a nights fun but that is all he'd want from her.

So, when you say "want" what exactly are you referring to.

[Asker]

That's the point men are saying they want the good girl yet are unhappy with them in the long run. I think there's a stat like 80% of men regret the woman they married so obviously the good girl thing is not working out for most men

[Miristheiss]

I thought I read 60-70% of divorces were initiated by the wife.

[Asker]

That is also true cuz men refuse to divorce even if unhappy

[AnUglyBarnacle]

@Apple1996 Yeah, because men get destroyed by divorce considerably more than women do. He's basically trapped and CAN'T leave even if he is miserable. Of course, if the man does leave, then he'll be more unhappy still, because a divorced man is 8.3x as likely to commit suicide as a divorced woman.

[Asker]

@AnUglyBarnacle seems like his fault for marrying the wrong woman then. Marry someone your happy with

[AnUglyBarnacle]

@Apple1996 People change over time, you know. I hope you say the same thing to women who've married the wrong men then.

[Asker]

@AnUglyBarnacle the women who marry the wrong men just step up and get divorced so not much to say to them

[Asker]

@AnUglyBarnacle people change yes but I think men aren't even changing. a lot of them are just shit to begin with and put on a act to fake the relationship then eventually their true colors show. Very rarely does that happen with women in a relationship since they usually give their true self at the beginning

[AnUglyBarnacle]

@Apple1996 Well, yeah, of course they do. Because it's easy, and there are fewer consequences. They'll outright get rewarded for initiating a divorce.

[AnUglyBarnacle]

@Apple1996 "Very rarely does that happen with women in a relationship since they usually give their true self at the beginning." Bull and shit. Your husband is going to be in for a rude awakening down the road. And, of course, it won't be his fault. "A lot of them are just shit to begin with." Someone clearly has a giant chip on their shoulder about men. It's a good thing that there isn't a huge legal system that women can use to take men to the cleaners if they decide to act on that grudge! /s You're a self-admitted sex addict, right? Were you, like, sexually abused when young or something? That would explain a lot.

[Asker]

@AnUglyBarnacle I've been with my husband long enough that all true colors have been shown. And no not all sex addicts were abused, some of us just have the addiction cuz we like chasing the high

[AnUglyBarnacle]

@Apple1996 If he wants to deal with you, then that's his choice. But, you'll leave him eventually, with excuses in your mind to justify it. The mid-life crisis years will hit, and you'll head out. Probably with lots of prizes. I'd wager sooner, your early 30s.

[Asker]

@AnUglyBarnacle he enjoys being married to me so yeah he wants to "deal" with me especially since he gets only postive things out of being married😂 And sure midlife crisis sounds fun

[WhitneySnow]

It’s the opposite of girls thinking the bad boy will change just for them

[oddwaffle]

You are mistaken. You are confused between a good girl and a slutty girl. They are not mutually exclusive. They can be the same girl!

Men hates girls who aren't sexual. They would rather talk to guys if the girl they are talking to aren't going to be available for great sex. It doesn't matter how she acts. Basic bitch, Bad bitch, good girl, bad girl... It doesn't matter. The more sexual the girl is the better.

Of course, if a girl is more than just bedroom fun then she has to be able to act like a lady on the outside. Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets and all that. This means holding good conversations and have fun. Having warm personality, no drama, positive and optimistic with a bit of shamelessness (like a cat).

[RavVid]

Guys like easy slutty girls because they give us sex readily.

Guys like good girls because when they say they are pregnant we are reasonably confident of paternity and we don't feel a desperate need to start googling paternity tests. If she is a slutty girl you probably would start googling.

It is not a given that a good girl is bad at sex or that a slutty girl is better at sex. Men probably cheat with slutty girls for the first reason at top and the slutty girl pool is what is available to him.

A good girl wouldn't have an affair with a married man.

[anon1903]

So you wanna cheat on her but not get cheated back? Ah! Shocker.

[RavVid]

@anon1903 There is an element of that I'd agree but it doesn't fall neatly across gender lines. Cheaters are going to be more aware of the possibility of their partner cheating than anybody else. Most men would not see cheating as sustainable and don't want the consequences. So they don't. Most men don't want the possibility of paternity fraud is far more the point.

[anon1903]

I'm not female cheaters do not exist. I'm just saying most men are too manipulative.

[RavVid]

@anon1903 Hmmh. I wish I could manipulate women but I don't have that talent. I do indicate what I want/expect. Is that manipulation? I dunno what it looks like from the other side.

[HighValue]

It is not the same group of guys. The good guys that do want a good girl don't cheat.

The guys that cheat are the ones with a past of casual sex and women more often choose partners that have a past of casual sex.

Anyone that knowingly chooses a partner that has a past of casual sex shouldn't be surprised if they get cheated on.

[Agape93]

It's like a roller coaster vs a cruise. Spend a lot of money to have some quick fun, but you do want to be on it it a week.
Or spend a lot of money to be on a cruise for relaxing enjoyment for the week.

[UniquelyBasic]

I don't necessarily classify a girl who's a virgin, is submissive and dresses moderately a good girl.

[Asker]

What is your definition of a good girl then?

[UniquelyBasic]

Someone with good morals and values and Im not trying to say being a virgin or submissive can't be a product of having morals and certain values but by themselves being a virgin or submissive I don't think makes a person good.

[Part2603]

Does this actually happen? Where is your evidence?

Or maybe it's more like later in the relationship the truth comes out that the woman wasn't really as much as a good girl as she portrayed herself.

Listen, women are naturally whores. We all know that. We all know that women curate their public image very carefully, and express their place in the spectrum in broad vague statements.

Every woman in the world thinks that they're more or less a good girt at heart, and the times she was slutty in the past was just a "one time cheat weekend" or whatever excuse they need to make to shoo away the cognitive dissonance in their brains.

TLDR; you might not be as much as a good girl as you believe yourself to be.

Put it this way: Have you had sex outside of marriage? Yes? Then you're a slut.

[Asker]

I hear it all the time from men about the wanting good girls then they get bored of the missionary/no lights on sex and then cheat. And that would make a lot of women sluts then 😂

[sassy_receptor]

a proud one

[FunkyMonkee]

Could've fooled me! I'd rather have a good girl with a sense of humour and a SLIGHTLY dirty mind. I'm not at all interested in sluts, smokers, boozers, druggies and losers!!

[anon1903]

You forgot the part where they want free breeders, maids and a nice gal for the good ole family

[anon1903]

also the reckless argument : only top tier men cheat that are like five percent... well, this proves nothing. rich men cheat bc they've the money, poor men don't cheat not bc they're loyal but bc THEY DONT HAVE THE MONEY. it doesn't excuse ANYONE! lmao

[Asker]

Haha yes definitely forgetting that part too. I hate these guys talking about top 5-10% like nah I'm talking about regular men here

[anon1903]

Most men are likely to cheat, if given the chance

[Anpu23]

I think that a lot of it is buyers regret. They think it'll be fun to corrupt innocence but find out its more work then its worth.

[Asker]

Yess exactly this 👏

[Jamie05rhs]

I don't want to corrupt anyone. I just want to facilitate an environment where she can blossom her own sexuality.

[FilmGuy93]

The bad girls entice the smaller head. And the thing about brain power is that the tinier the head is, the stronger the thought

[ArtemisSilver]

Or you could just embrace human nature and be polyam. Working out okay for me.

[Asker]

For reals I needs 5 husband's then I'd be living my dream life 😂

[ArtemisSilver]

Haha why five 😏?

[Asker]

I mean really no limit but 5 seems like a good amount

[ArtemisSilver]

Hopefully not all at once ya?

[Asker]

5 at once would be the perfect amount tbh

[es20490446e]

...

...

[Grond21]

Seems analogous to the woman who wants the nice guy, then cheats with the bad boy

[Asker]

Never heard of that happening

[Grond21]

I think men and women both want stability and novelty. So sometimes we choose the safe option without accounting for the adventurous side in all of us. And when you do that you are risking creating a gap between what you want and what your partner naturally provides. So instead of working with them to fill that gap as all healthy couples do you are stuck with feeling the pain of unmet desires and expectations. For those who handle this in an unhealthy way, it can easily turn into risky behavior and in some cases cheating

[tfan1]

I don’t and never will cheat. Even if the wife finally stops having sex with me entirely. We have more pleasure of me putting a bullet sized vibrator on her clitoris. I get the pleasure of seeing her in pleasure and seeing how many times she can orgasm. Currently she’s on 3 orgasms at a time. 😉👍

[Date_a_Snob]

I'm definitely a good girl. I hope my boyfriend doesn't leave me.

[loveslongnails]

When someone says "most men don't cheat", I hear different numbers in my head. LOL Statistically speaking in the physical sense, that's true because most would be more than 50%. Statistics on extramarital affairs or cheating while in a relationship tend to vary quite a bit depending on who's doing the study, so I rely on Pew Research as they're one of the best. The overall number of "admitted" cheaters among males is as low as 20% but as high as 43%, which is still, "not most". I'll link below.

Men don't go after sluts to be their wives because it "looks bad" and they know right away she'll have sex with someone else sooner or later. Going after a good girl or virgin gives a guy the ego boost and peace of mind he wants. Then, as the question poster says, when the man gets bored, 20%-43% will indeed cheat and just rationalize and compartmentalize it.

Guys like bad girls for the sex and the excitement, but they don't want to bring a slut to the family dinner or have her raise their kids.

[loveslongnails]

Here's the link:
https://comparecamp.com/cheating-statistics/

[Jennz6]

Good question lol

[AmeerX]

I want a good girl. Do you on someone who will move to my country to be with me?

[Asker]

Possibly, where are you from?

[AmeerX]

I am from Pakistan))

[Asker]

Nah don't know any girl there

[AmeerX]

You know if borders and distances weren't there the entire world could be searched for Love ))

[Cubus]

The same that women say they want gentlemen, when in the end they go for bad boys

[Asker]

I think women are more honest when it comes to who they are attracted to. Men just aren't then they do shit like cheat

[convo_king89]

They want a good girl upfront, but behind closed door they want a slut. I guess it’s to show his authority in public.

[Jamie05rhs]

The problem is that good girls are being taught that sex is bad. Sex is NOT bad!!!

[Jamie05rhs]

Only sex outside of marriage is bad.

[Asker]

Yeah but even having the thought of sex is bad outside of marriage is making women put limits on sex. Overall just not good for a woman's sexuality to have to be a "good girl"

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 Nope. That's all in their heads. If they are confused, that is not my problem. I am always very supportive of Christian sexuality.

[Asker]

Being Christian does not equal saving yourself for marriage

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 Yes, it does.

[LiamJHayden]

I like good girls, but I tend to friend zone them because I know that their goals are different from mine and I do not want to use them / disappoint them. So yes, I tend to end up with wild things.

[Kinkyhubby]

The truth is we want a good girl around everyone, and a bad girl in the bedroom. As the old saying goes. It isn't that some German bored with their wives. I think many factors play into it.

1 is the guy looking for the excitement of the hunt..

2. They had a good sex life, but now the wife isn't Into as much or none at all. So once again the guy get screwed and angry so he cheat for sex.

guys usually cheat for sex, where women cheat for emotional satisfaction. No one is perfect. Plenty of women cheat also. So don't just make it sound like all men are pigs. I have never cheated on my wife. My 1st wife cheated on me.

[joeldalton]

Because you can't turn a hoe into a houswife.

[Asker]

Ah well I better go tell my husband that I'm not a housewife anymore. I'm just a hoe that cleans his house and watches the kids

[joeldalton]

word.

[Philyouup]

I love sluts. period. they are more
open, more fun, ans more
uninhibited. i’m up front. i tell them they have to be sweet and innocent outside but in my bed, a fucking whore. my cumslut. i know that was crude, but i feel it’s honest. i don’t want a prude in my bed u less
she’s looking for lessons on bad.

[Stevefiveo]

They want a good girl outside of the bedroom and a bad girl inside the bedroom.

[Likes2drive]

Yeah might as well skip right to the slutty woman if that’s what they want deep down

[blondfrog]

Why is it that women act like women want good guys but they are really attracted to bad guys? Goes both ways buddy. I respect you but when it comes to these topics its really hard for me to when you say shit like this. The truth is most people dont deserve good girls or good guys. And in reality we as a society are all responsible for this. We ruin other peoples personalities when we act bad as well. It only takes one bad apple to spoil the bunch.

[Juxtapose]

I am in total agreement with you and think these guys who simp for prudes don't realize how quickly the sex is going to dry up 🤣

Get a girl with a good heart and a dirty mind 🤜🤛

[Juxtapose]

Okay gag, don't show my Emojis..

[Asker]

Yeah these guys just don't realize it then they complain about how their wives never put out. Like they are the ones that wanted a good girl 🤦‍♀️

[motownplayer2000]

That’s mostly women. Not men

[Christoff92]

Would like to see her personal traits then afterwards her reactions. Pretty face, nice body is a bonus 🥰

[Straight2thepoint]

All we ask is for our girl to be our three lovers in one. We ain't asking for a mental illness patient, nor a split personality (bipolar) person. Because if we can be what u ask of us, why should we have a person in our life that only thinks and wants for themselves.

[Shamalien]

I think too many people are obsessed with sex. I’d gladly take a good girl over a slutty one…I don’t really give a damn about what we do in the bedroom so long as we both get off and can cuddle afterwards

[Asker]

Uhhh men are too crazy about cuddling 😑

[Shamalien]

What u don’t like it?

[Asker]

Cuddling is alright but if I had to choose which is better it'd def be sex

[Shamalien]

I could date a girl and wait till marriage for sex, but I could not wait till marriage for cuddles

[Asker]

Waiting till marriage for sex is a one way ticket to a divorce in 10 years lol Definitely shouldn't be waiting on either of these for marriage

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 No; it's not. That's not why divorce happens.

[Asker]

@Jamie05rhs it definitely is the reason for some divorces. I'm pretty sure the stats are that 50% of women regret that they waited till marriage for sex

[Asker]

@Jamie05rhs I also just know this from talking to a lot of other women even without the stats it's pretty obvious. Weird thing is most men that wait don't regret it

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 That's not true at all. You're just making shit up.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 If your female friends who waited for marriage are not satisfied with their relationships, then there could be a number of reasons. But I guarantee you that 90% of them are fixable.

[Asker]

@Jamie05rhs if a couple isn't sexually compatible it most likely just isn't gonna work out.

[Asker]

@Jamie05rhs and nah most of them not even my friends. I just end up in group discussions online Just the other day there was one with 100s of women talking about how they were disgusted to be in the same room as their husband cuz they didn't want to breathe the same air as them😂

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 If they weren't sexually compatible then they shouldn't have gotten married.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 If you're engaging in online group discussions about sex with your husbands, then that's probably not a healthy activity to be involved in. It's probably a gossip-fest and a place to trash men. Not really beneficial for your relationship. You need to step away from that toxicity.

[Asker]

@Jamie05rhs can't know your sexually compatible unless your having sex already

[Asker]

@Jamie05rhs and nah I spend to much time with men so definitely interesting to see what women have to say. Most if these groups seem innocent but they are not

[Jamie05rhs]

"Most if these groups seem innocent but they are not." Exactly my point. They're a bad influence.

[Jamie05rhs]

"can't know your sexually compatible unless your having sex already." Not true at all. It doesn't require actually doing anything.

[Shamalien]

@Jamie05rhs yeah it’s true, it’s pretty easy to tell sexual compatibility before having sex; at least in a general sense and that’s plenty good enough. Like if the guy has a monster cock a discussion needs to happen but for most people if you are very sexually attracted and the makeout seshes are really good itll work

[Asker]

Personally a make out session would not be enough for me to tell. With one of my exes I could only tell from him eating me out that it wasn't gonna work out sexually even tho everything else was good that was not. And that had nothing to do with skills or anything just more of a bad feeling in my gut type of thing

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 If you had a bad feeling in your gut, then that had nothing to do with the sex. That was about who he is as a person.

[Asker]

@Jamie05rhs nah the bad feeling was specifically only when I was on the receiving end of something sexual. Everything else was fine. At the time just thought I was gay/that guys werent good at that stuff. Didn't understand till later that we weren't sexually compatible. Very glad I didn't stay with him cuz we were planning on waiting till marriage

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 Planning on waiting till marriage? Lmfao! Well, obviously you didn't!

[Asker]

@Jamie05rhs oh I'm pretty sure my ex is like 30 and still waiting 😂

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 Good. He sounds creepy.

[roy_ricky09]

Absolutely not.

[Asker]

It sure seems that way tho

[roy_ricky09]

Well maybe your own experience was like that but it can't be generalized based on it. In fact women are more into bad guys but want to settle with a good one

[Asker]

Not going off my personal experiences at all. Just what I've seen from men in general

[roy_ricky09]

See... You are giving the perfect example of women men don’t like. Who can turn anything into an argument. You asked a question, I shared my opinion, have peace with it. Why are you being defensive about your own opinion.

[Asker]

This isn't even my opinion. Just something I'm noticing from the outside looking in. Like im curious on why men act like they want something when they really don't?

[roy_ricky09]

I feel Sorry for the guy you are with if that's what he has to put up with. No more replies for you. Good luck finding answers

[Twalli]

And girls go for assholes and not genuine nice guys.

[Kelly6]

Men want good girl for long term partner as marriage , but for short term partner like bad girl

[bamesjond0069]

Good girls do everything bad girls do except only with one man.

The problem isn't good or bad girls, it's that they don't know how to have sex. Lmao.

[shanshu]

Why do women act like they want a good guy but go for 5he bad boys?

[TallAnon]

People don't know what they want.