Why is it that some men don't tell their wives what they want in bed but would tell another woman whom they want to have an affair with?

Like I don't get it if it's just about sex why can't they ask their wife to do what they want in bed? But instead they are totally comfortable telling another woman what their fantasies are. Are the men who do this are not attracted to their wives as much as the other woman?

1 0

Superb Opinion

  • Because you don’t have to go home to the girl you’re talking about your fantasies w. Especially if your chick is like wtf. Now she’s like omg I’m w a fucking psycho pathetic lunatic. He could be embarrassed. Fear of rejection. Sometimes there’s more excitement in it telling some girl who maybe is just a friend or stranger, there’s excitement cause it’s someone new. Sounds fucked up but yes that is another reason. To be in a one night stand w a girl who would let you do whatever w out having to call her up again or take her out. Then you see things on tv sexually in a movie or something that’s crazy as fuck, she looks at you like weirdo lol or what that’s the shit you wanted lol men have a lot of thoughts, a lot, some really fucked up ones too but we don’t come out and say it for this reason. Like women ask why can’t men just be honest. Ok I want to fuck you and your sister, your mom too then she’s like get the fuck away from me you sicko. No this has never happened to me but as other men I know what I would think if my girl had been this way. Luckily she isn’t. I mean I didn’t tell her I wanted to fuck her sister cause yeah she’d flip lol

Most Helpful Guy

  • When I told my ex-wife what I wanted out sex, she flipped that shit around and put back on me. Bottom line, most men know their wife's or woman better then then their woman know themselves. They say why do you not just say this or that... and men laugh in to themselves in their own heads.

    But some woman you want to fling with... she does give a shit about the bull shit, because it has nothing to do with relationship in general its about the sex. For real couples they can't separate the two, well men can honestly, but most woman can't.

    There no expectation being placed back on you in an affair.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe they are worried about their wives judging them for their fantasies

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Fear of rejection, most likely- or, rather, fear of the backlash that comes with rejection. If you ask and she says no, that can ruin the moment; if you ask and she holds it against you, that can ruin the marriage.

    Now, I'm not commenting on whether these fears are legitimate, but they're certainly valid. It's one of the reasons it's so very, very important to hear out suggestions and requests open-mindedly, even if you don't agree to them.

  • After every suggestion made by myself to my wife regarding sex as being anything other than missionary, for procreation, being met with looks as if she thinks I'm out of my mind, a guy tends to just not say anything after a while.

    • Well why does she feel like you're crazy for suggesting something different? I don't get it. Must be pretty boring to do same thing over and over again.

    • Tell me about it. I don't get it, and she won't tell me. I think her repression of living as a sexual being is so deep that she doesn't get it, either. My very rich, varied sex life has been strictly solo for 25+ years. I haven't been laid in decades. I wouldn't mind having other sex partners, but I'm OK with things as they are.

  • I have never had an issue telling my wife what I like when having sex. Why would a guy want to hold that back? Have you seen this with guys or your husband?

  • They think their wife is too prudish to do it?

  • That's not how all relationships are, kiddo.

    Some wives are vanilla as fuck, others are crazy, but most are just not into kinks. It's why they make good wives, but bad side pieces.

  • I'm pretty sure husbands not telling their wives what they want in bed is not a significant issue. The bigger issue is husbands telling their wives what they want and not getting it.