Why is my boyfriend searching gay porn (as well as MILF/ GILF/ BBW porn)? What should I do and should I reconsider the relationship?

[Anonymous]

Please help - I previously posted about how me and my serious boyfriend of 2-years (both early 30s) have gradually been having less sex. I know I am in the wrong for checking his phone without permission - the first thing I found was GILF and MILF porn.

After checking his phone again this week, I saw that he has been viewing gay porn - I saw he has searched for things like twinks (had to look up what this was and was horrified) as well at bottoms cumming etc. Honestly I feel sick and depressed that he would watch this.

We have been together 2 years and have seriously discussed our futures together. Our relationship is perfect apart from reduced frequency of sex. He has had previous girlfriends and no boyfriends (as far as I know). He is very masculine and honestly I never thought he would be the sort to watch this sort of stuff. I also have a lot of gay male friends which he has met and he isn’t anything like them.

Why would he be watching this sort of porn? In addition to watching MILF/ GILF porn and BBW porn? Is this a sign of porn addiction. We have only been having sex once every 1-2 weeks and I have been so anxious and upset about it. Which is why I snooped in the first place.

What do I do? I can’t tell him that I invaded his privacy in this way but I am so concerned by his porn viewing and lack of sex with me. I feel hurt and upset.

[Nik1hil]

Yeah.. That's porn addiction...

Milf/gulf aren't something to worry about..
It's oedipus complex... Lot of Men have it..

I would be worried about Gay porn though that means he might be bisexual or gay..

My suggestion is start a conversation saying...
Saying I came across this article..

" https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/a18194469/incest-porn-trend/ "

Or maybe DM it to him...
Than tell him.. A female friend and her partner tapped into this Roleplay fetish..
Sometimes she is the mommy... Other time he is the daddy... And they both said.. That they just cannot stop cumming...

Ask his opinion on oedipus complex.. Or Electra complex...

If he has some idea or opinions..
Prepare yourself for such experiment... And then tell him you want to try it in bed...

Ask him to share his desires and fantasies... Of course they will be weird... But you are just playing role.. Like in school in drama club..

Crack his seal open to his sexual desires.. You will have wild sex with him again...

And also you will pull him away from GAY PORN. Which could turn him towards homosexuality

[pushingrope]

Determine if it is just a habit or a full blown addiction, if addiction give them an opportunity to correct their behavior, week help, and conquer their addiction if they refuse, or make excuses, they care more about porn than you and you should definetely reconsider that relationship.

[Asker]

How do I do that? I’m worried he will just deny it if I casually ask him if he watches any porn. I don’t want to say I invaded his privacy. I’d say he watches at least 2 or 3 times a week (any porn). And we have sex maximum once every 1 to 2 weeks. So I feel he has just replaced sex with me with porn.

[pushingrope]

Do they blow you off to have time for porn? Do they blow their friends family responsibilities and hobbies off to make time for porn? Does he need porn to become erect for you? Does he need porn to be able to ejaculate? Does he have erectile dysfunction like symptoms that only to away when watching porn? Does going without porn give him withdrawal symptoms (irritability, rudeness, grumpiness, insomnia, difficulty concentrating, mood swings, depressive episodes, etc) if so it's addiction, otherwise likely a habbit do some research into the psychology of pron addiction for further information

[Anonymous]

Yoir boyfriend is into gilfs, bbws and twink porn because he’s sexually attracted to them, I don’t think he loves you any less if you said the relationship is great. Also your boyfriend could be bicurious or even bisexual, neither of these hold any weight if he chooses to be with you. The way I think is it’s porn, I have a boyfriend and I’m sure be watches porn, just like I do, it doesn’t affect me at all what he watches, because I know he’s faithful to me. He could watch all the genres named above twice a day. I’m sorry you’re upset and that you likely feel betrayed, but you really shouldn’t have gone through the phone in the first place, which you already know and hopefully won’t do again. Try asking him “are we good?” or just being honest about EVERYTHING. Carrying this burden is a lot if it’s really weighing on you. Best of luck!!!

[Asker]

Thanks. It really is weighing on me. I have been so anxious and apprehensive since I found out. The relationship is great other than reduced frequency of sex which really bothers me. He tells me he loves me multiple times a day and talks about the future but I don’t feel desired in the bedroom and I find it so difficult. It takes all my energy to bring up the topic too. Part of me wishes I’d never looked but I was going crazy not knowing why he wasn’t having sex with me. Do you think that type of porn means he wants or is interested in men? I’m worried he would leave in the future if he has this streak to watch gay porn

[Flower7]

“Masculine” behavior doesn’t mean that someone can’t be gay. The less sex is a huge problem and means that something is seriously wrong. That’s also a problem that very very rarely gets better. And yes, the gay porn is enough of a reason to end the relationship. That probably has a lot to do with the lack of sex.

[Asker]

Thanks for your comment. I’m so confused - I also found lots of straight porn before. I don’t know what to do. I’ve spoken to him about the lack of sex and how I want to have sex at least once a week but things don’t seem to change. And it hurts me that he has been getting off to this stuff. I don’t know what to do as I can’t tell him I’ve invaded his privacy like this. We have talked about marriage/ kids/ houses etc and I can’t believe what he has been searching

[Flower7]

Even without any porn involved at all, having sex less than once a week even when you’ve complained about it to him, is enough reason to end the relationship. The root of the problem doesn’t matter very much. You might never find out the truth of why things changed and you’ll just continue to waste more and more of your time trying to find out. You’ll continue getting older and if you wait too long, you won’t be able to have kids with anyone at all. It’s best to leave this relationship as soon as possible and get on the path toward finding a new one.

[JayMadrigal]

he might be just curious try talking to him about it... also if he is bi are you okay with being in a queer relationship (https://grabporn. me/download-porn-videos/download-gayfuror-videos/)

[loves2learn]

Sounds like porn is interfering with your sex life. I would recommend talking to him about it and suggesting he get some help.

[slatyb]

The porn viewing is not the problem, it’s the lack of desire for you. What does he say about that? You are unsatisfied. Are you willing to continue like this indefinitely? No? Then if nothing changes you have to leave the relationship.

[Asker]

Thanks. Yeh if the lack of desire wasn’t an issue I would have never snooped I’ve brought it up so many times- he says that he loves me and is attracted to me and wants a future with me etc. I never get a straight answer as to why he is never in the mood for sex more than every 1 to 2 weeks

[slatyb]

What he says doesn't matter. You are frustrated and he is unable or unwilling to change his behavior. Therefore you are incompatible. You'll have to end this so you can find a man that makes you happy.

[boggboss]

Sounds like you may want to talk to him about it to be honest

[Inexpensivefurniture]

Some guys are into things IN THEORY but not in practice. He might just enjoy that sort of porn but have no desire to actually sleep with a man or older lady. If it's affecting your sex life that much then I would just tell him you are concerned about the frequency of sex you two have and ask if there's a reason

[Asker]

I hope so. I’ve raised this so many times and said that I’d really like to have more sex/ sexual intimacy. He never gives a reason. Says he loves me and finds me attractive sexually. He says we will do more to ensure we have more regular sex. But it doesn’t change

[Steve7111]

Yes, seems like a porn addiction, but I wouldn't worry so much about what kind of porn he's watching as I would about the fact he's watching a lot of porn, especially if it's leading to him not wanting to have sex so much.

Lot's of guys look at all sorts of porn, but it's most likely only a fantasy, and not necessarily something they'd do in real life if given the opportunity.

[VikingWarLord]

leave the relationship asap!

[genericname85]

if nothing changes for your sex life, then why change something? never fix a running system.

[Iron_Man]

End it

[Yaharro]

Gay porn? That's F up

[EnglishEuropean]

Your boyfriend has a porn addiction. Regular porn has become boring to him (no doubt so has sex with a woman), whether he is actually gay isn't clear.

As far as your relationship goes I'm afraid it is effectively over.

[Loneranger1987]

You only being together for 2 years and sex slowing down already is a red flag on it's own searching gay porn he's probably bi curious or has already been with a guy

[billluc69]

buy a strap-on

[Anonymous]

Whoa. He’s really got a variety going there. I would confront him about it. If you want him to stop then he should stop. If it’s something that really bothers you and he refuses to stop then there’s nothing wrong with leaving him.

[Anonymous]

his visual fantasy has NOTHING to do with you, just like your mental fantasy has nothing to do with him. The most common female fantasy is the forced sex by a stranger (rape) fantasy... it doesn’t mean you actually want that shit.

[Anonymous]

Look even if he is getting pleasure from watching this, it doesn't mean he might want ever to do it in reality, a lot of straight people watch gay porn, it's just something different.

[Anonymous]

He just has an active fantasy life

[Anonymous]

He may want to differ, like three some. Or if you fuck her