Why is my desire for him so strong…. ?

I tried everything. I tried masturbating, finding another guy… everything. I just can’t get over him. I don’t know if it’s sexual but I strongly desire him. I want his affections … it doesn’t necessarily mean sex… but he’s still in love with his ex. It hurts

why isn’t masturbating working to get over him?

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  • There are a few possibilities for why masturbating may not be helping you get over this person:

    1. Physical desire is only one part of attraction. Masturbating may satisfy physical urges in the short term, but it does not address emotional or psychological components of desire. You may crave this person's affection, attention and emotional closeness, which masturbation cannot fulfill.

    2. Familiarity and history breed interest. If this person has been a part of your life for a while, there is likely an established level of intimacy, comfort and connection that is hard to replace. Even distance cannot erase that history and familiarity.

    3. Unmet needs persist. There may be underlying emotional or psychological needs - like a need for validation, closeness, romance, etc. - that this person represented for you but were not fully met. These underlying needs drive desire and will not be satisfied by masturbation alone.

    4. Obsessive thoughts persist. When we develop an intense fixation on someone, our minds can get "stuck" ruminating on that person and the past. Mere distraction through masturbation is not enough to change those obsessive thought patterns.

    5. Making peace within yourself is key. True fulfillment and contentment come from within. Until you learn to meet your own needs for love, connection and emotional intimacy, external desires will continue to plague you.

    So in short, while masturbation can provide physical relief in the moment, it does not address the complex emotional and psychological components fueling your strong desire for this person. Focus energies inward on self-soothing, meeting your own needs and developing emotional resilience. With time and conscious effort, you can gain perspective, weaken these desires and ultimately find peace within yourself.

    I hope this perspective provides some insight and reassurance. Please let me know if you have any other questions.

    • Wow, all of the above 🥺

    • I know luv

    • 🥺🥺🥺

  • Real sex is real sex.

    • I’m a virgin 😭 self pleasure isn’t working anymore

    • and why you keeping your virginity?

    • Bc it seems like the men I talk to really don’t want to be with me and they end up finding someone else. I don’t want that attachment if they don’t want me. I feel that would push me to the edge. I already have low self esteem.

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  • You desire to be desired! Him wanting his ex not you makes you want him all the more. You would get quickly bored if he did want u. My sister is like that.

    Hun if you want to be distracted I'll so more then help!

    Ever liked girls? This woman will turn your attention right away from him and onto me!

    • Woah no thank you I would not be bored bc I actually do like him.

    • No you don't you like the idea of him... Really if his girlfriend ends things and you get him then you will so be bored with him. We crush and love the idea of a guy not the actual guy.

    • I like him but I do think about him dicking me down often. I want to get to know him

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