Sexual Relationships
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Why is women's body count aka sexual past such a big deal? My brother literally told me to not to discuss his wife's past with anyone?

I was at my brother's place yesterday and during our chat I told them about my recent breakup to which my sister in law replied, "You need to kiss lot of frogs to find your prince."

So obviously I asked her how many did she had to kiss before getting his amazing prince, i. e., my brother. And she said, "Something around 40".

And than for no reason my brother got little uncomfortable and told her not to discuss about such things. He even told me not to tell anyone about how many frogs she kissed.

He later said that he'd be "ashamed" if his friends or our relatives would know about her sexual past.
To be clear, he does not have any problem with her past he just wants to hide it from everyone so people will think he got a virgin girl to marry.

Why are so many people scared of women's past? Why so much of insecurity?
0 2

Most Helpful Guys

  • Sometimes its just common morals wanting someone who is "at the same level" but fear of higher infinitely risk, ego and insecurity play a role too.

    As far as why he would not want friends to know its like garanteed to be something other guys will use against him in a fight/argument. Kinda like how girls may claim to not care if a guy is sexually inexperienced but if they know a guy is a virgin it and get into an argument it will often be the first thing they use to insult him.

    Couple other points.

    If her husband was just as promiscuous as his wife it would be viewed less negatively

    For guys getting married is easier than sleeping around. Most guys are able to eventually get married, but being the type of guy who can consistently get no string attached sex is harder/less common. So it's viewed as more of an accomplishment or more of an enviable position to be the guy who can easily get sex without committing rather than a guy who can't and gets stuck with a promiscuous wife.

    They kinda view it like you are marrying and risking losing half your wealth on a woman 40 men easily bedded but didn't want. Its more brag worthy/enviable to marry a girl lots of men wanted to bed but few were able to.

    The other assumption is that many/most of the 40 guys she hooked up with were probably more masculine/dominant/desirable (taller, better looking, more endowed, more aggressive in bed etc) and the husband is kind of the loser at the end who is being settled for after all the more desirable guys either cheated on or refused to commit to her in the first. It just is not a scenario most guys will be envious of.

    • Thank you, this explains everything. Last para might be true as well but I don't think it applies to my brother as he's a kind of big deal too. I'm not bragging but he's super rich so he's kind of better than most she hooked up with. Thanks again.

    • The fact he is richer is does not mean it doesn't apply, it might even further prove it does apply. The assumption is usually that the guy women marry will be wealthier than the guys she hooked up with. That is the tradeoff, the husband is usually more stable, reliable, and wealthy compared to the past flings but is a downgrade physically and sexually.

  • Personally ai could give a damn. I know their is mounting evidence that the more sexual partners women have the harder it gets for them to “pair bond”. Which is in contrast to men. Your sister in-law obviously was able too. So that aspect is moot. Regarding your brother, maybe just fragile ego whereas me personally I can give a fuck what my friends or family thinks. Besides, their own wives and girlfriends are likely carrying a similar “tally”. Including the judgmental women themselves. I mean, who are we kidding? A growing number of women these days have had multiple “partners”. We deceive ourselves or themselves into believing otherwise? It makes zero sense.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 16

  • Is Your Partner’s “Number” Relevant? ↗

    • This post is good but it's about deciding whether to be with a person with high body count or to stay away from them. This answers one part of the question but my brother is already married, he knew about her past before marriage. I also want to know why would my brother and also people in general would want to hide it from other people?

    • You already answered that question yourself. "To be clear, he does not have any problem with her past he just wants to hide it from everyone so people will think he got a virgin girl to marry."

  • Guys seem to brag about how many women they have had, but think poorly of women who have done the same. It is a crazy double standard many guys have. In your brother’s case, either his wife is a nice person who is faithful to him even though she had many guys in her past, or she is a whore. Not in reality, but in your brother’s thinking. He need to screw his head on straight and realize it is his wife he is talking about.

  • Poor guy, looks like he going to marry a slut, and he trying to hide it from your relatives.

    https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MyGirlIsNotASlut

  • He has a problem really to be honest or he would care who knew Her past is her past and she has chosen to be with your brother Without being rude and this doesn't in anyway reflect on her in the slightest Even the local bike has the right to change and when maturity sets in she will settle down with the right man

    Î

  • Its not in my opinion, but maybe he feels guys might hit on her more if they knew about her past?

    • Does this really happens among you guys? Like if someone's wife had a big sexual past, do they actually think she's going to cheat?

    • Sure, especially if they are insecure.

  • The higher the mileage, the shorter the expected service life and the lower the net value.

  • It's not up to you to broadcast another person's sex life including the number of frogs they "kissed".

    As a husband or boyfriend I keep my sex life between myself and the person I wake with in the morning.

  • It's religious influence or worry over not measuring up in bed vs the past guys.

    And Jesus Christ 40 is a huge number.

    I've been with 5 people lol. I always thought it should be something like 15. But some women have crazy numbers because of how easy it is to get guys.

  • Kissing is not a big deal, sex is. I guess he prefers for your family to focus on his relationship with her, not what happened before

  • It tells guys about how many poor choices were made by an individual...

  • I only care what we do going forward!

  • If she experienced she will expect the guy more in bed.. So only he is afraid of women's past...

  • the stereo typing that if a man has many lovers he is a stud, if a woman does she is a tramp. a big double standard and very unfair.

  • "To be clear, he does not have any problem with her past he just wants to hide it from everyone"

    You're mistaken if you think he does not have a problem with her past. If he didn't, he would not be ashamed about it.

    Do you truly not understand why someone would have a problem with a woman who has had sex with 40 men? I find that difficult to believe.

  • because he realized he married a cheap whore who fucked a lot of guys and he's getting used garbage as his prize

  • Because a woman is a prize. It shows what kind of winner you are. If it’s an easy prize and everyone can get one then it’s nothing to be proud of is it. That’s why he acts like he’s won something but deep down it’s not and he doesn’t want other people to know as they’ll realise that as well.

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