Why Men Cheat On Their Beautiful Girlfriends and Wives

To make it clear, I am not condoning or defending men who do this. At all. I'm just giving an explanation for why it so often seems to be the case. Nor am I saying ALL men in relationships are like this blah blah blah. Plenty are not, myself included.

Picture perfect couple here, right?

I use this photo as a scenario, not a true story
I use this photo as a scenario, not a true story

They look happy and both are fairly attractive people, and she would largely be considered pretty or beautiful by conventional standards. A lot of guys would probably be wishing they could snag a girl like her or sleep with her, probably imagining what she does in bed or whatnot. They'd be jealous of the dude.

But then something weird happens, a shift in the Matrix. She finds out that he's been cheating on her with a much less attractive girl - in fact the girl is absolutely overweight, and she works in the accounting office at his job, or is just a regular cashier at Target or McDonald's. She's been giving him head for over a year. (For the record I don't think this woman is downright ugly, she just needs to lose weight)

Just a scenario
Just a scenario

Not only is the girlfriend's heart utterly broken but she is dead shocked to see the woman her man has been cheating with, and she dumps him. But she's still hurting and can't understand why the dude cheated with a lesser woman. Why in the world did it happen and why her? Why do men do this?!

Why men cheat on beautiful girlfriends and wives

The answer, friends, is that in the majority of these situations it all comes down to sex. Rarely any kind of actual feelings of love. I don't condone cheating at all, I hate it, and I think it's so much worse in these instances with guys. But why cheat to have sex with a woman who is much less attractive than his girl who is considered conventionally beautiful?

Why Men Cheat On Their Beautiful Girlfriends and Wives

Well, there are multiple reasons. One big one is that the sex is extremely available if the 'ugly' or overweight girl is seriously letting a guy know he can come and get it with open flirting or even a direct offer. But how does this sway a man with a hot or beautiful woman in his life already?

Many men are aroused by opportunistic sex and slutty women

I hate to say it, and a lot of men are going to be in their feelings and disagree, but this is the truth. Although lots of guys talk about how much they hate sluts and want virgins, or how some woman over 30 has "hit the wall" and is no longer desirable, this is all absolute bullshit. Many, many men will still have sex with a woman who is clearly putting out, and especially if he very rarely gets sex with anyone and he is just desperate. Regardless of her age or level of purity.

The promise of sex from a woman, or a clear shot opportunity at it, makes a lot of guys melt. And we can't say this is not true because many politicians, businessmen, and even cops have fallen because of this. Although they don't admit it, many men are turned on by women in their orbit who have been known to sleep around. It could be the girl at the gym, on his job, at the reception desk, on campus, in the leasing office, a neighbor, etc. and regardless of whether she's beautiful or not. If she's also known to do particularly sexual things like deepthroat or anal sex - and she's very passionate about it, a lot of guys are turned on even more and will try to get some from her, and especially if their own girl is not giving these things.

Why Men Cheat On Their Beautiful Girlfriends and Wives

Many guys will not be honest with themselves about their weaknesses and base sexual impulses, so they'd rather go on and on about sluts and only wanting virgins. An ugly or overweight woman becomes attractive to a man if she's on her knees or he's behind her. That 35 year-old they said "hit the wall" or the Latina grandma who is chubby but still pretty become a man's weakness if they're in a room alone together and she starts touching or sucking him.

The girl next door

Girls/women who have a plain girl-next-door look or body are often the ones guys will cheat with. There is some kind of thrill in it for them. A curiosity to be with her body, to know what she can do, or because she is outright known to be dirty and she's not even hiding it. And simply because a more average looking girl is more sexually attractive to them than their own very beautiful girlfriend or wife, even though these guys chose her for being beautiful. It is somewhat tied into a Madonna-whore complex. Of course not ALL guys in relationships are like this blah, blah, blah but you get my drift.

Why Men Cheat On Their Beautiful Girlfriends and Wives
Why Men Cheat On Their Beautiful Girlfriends and Wives

That really is what it comes down to. Even for myself I tend to be more attracted to women who are not considered conventionally beautiful, or ones that most guys I know say I'm nuts for finding attractive. I honestly would rather date your every day girl who looks like the ones above than your usual IG girls or Hollywood starlets.

Men who end up with a conventionally beautiful woman always wanted that, and they feel proud and want her to be something everyone can see or envy. And it of course gives them some kind of sense of status to have a gorgeous girl. Yet deep down a lot of these cheaters have a hunger for sex with an average or ugly slut. As I was saying before it is somewhat tied to the Madonna-whore complex: they love their beautiful girlfriend/wife, and they do have sex (or maybe not), but in some sense they think of her as a matriarchal woman or a pure prize, and still want forbidden and grittier sex with a girl next door type or unattractive well-known slut.

Sometimes...it's complicated

Although I am not condoning these guys cheating, sometimes I might understand why. Many times guys who have conventionally beautiful gfs or wives complain about wanting to do the kinds of sex she doesn't like, or she is very, very strict about not doing it. At all. She might have a severe aversion to giving head - and might not even want him to eat her either. Or he craves anal sex and that's a major NO for her. Or he is always dominant but occasionally wants her to be on top or be a little aggressive, but she just has to be a dead fish every time.

Why Men Cheat On Their Beautiful Girlfriends and Wives

I am not saying a woman has to be okay with doing everything in bed, but one thing I can say as a man and I think most men will agree with: a woman who is squeamish or restrictive about every sexual activity really kills the mood. And this can be a big reason why guys will cheat with women who are less attractive. If she does what he likes, and she's offering it, he is going to go after it.

Also there are instances where his relationship with a beautiful woman is already strained and he is losing attraction to her. She may be your classic textbook case of a high maintenance, controlling, or just downright boring beautiful girl. He meets some plain Jane or ugly, overweight hamburger who is just so flirty or sweet, and having sex with her is his get away.

Again, I am not agreeing with what these guys are doing, but I am explaining why. And - abruptly - that is all I have for this Take.

6 4

Most Helpful Girl

  • Thank you for sharing this. I can't help but share some of my thoughts and experiences too...

    I don't mean to sound odd, but I guess I am a "beautiful" girl and I know that because when you are one, you just know (lol). I am also waiting to have sex after marriage and I want to be in a healthy relationship with a man who treats me right.

    It all seems ok now, but this is a problem and I'm going to unwrap this in relation to your MyTake.

    I am a recipe for the "perfect", "pure" woman that many guys will pursue for image and not for the purpose of loving me for who I really am.

    Therefore, I have been in relationships where the love was very "shallow", a lot of men will pursue me and then feel *very* uncomfortable when they realise I am a human being with feelings and needs. They would like to mould me into the woman they want me to be.

    Then there is my boyfriend from when I was 22 and who cheated on me. He was VERY kind to me and very clear that he wanted to be married to me. He also loved that I was a virgin waiting until marriage. He was sleeping with what you've described as the "girl next door" throughout the ENTIRE relationship.

    And this is why I am a 26-year-old unmarried virgin woman. I am waiting for a man with clear intentions, who thinks using his mind and not his penis.

    • This is exactly what I'm talking about and it's very sad. You are considered conventionally beautiful and guys know it and want it but have no respect for you. But it's also because of this reason that might be difficult to face: you are a virgin and stand your ground on that, and a lot of guys are not going to be in a relationship with a girl who is waiting till marriage, unless he is doing the same thing.

    • Funny enough being a virgin and waiting until marriage attracts a lot of 'fuckboys'! Because I am that *pure* woman they're looking for, but they don't view me nor treat me fairly...

    • @lostandfound__x To be fair though, guys and girls included, there aren’t hardly any people like us. I believe in virgin until marriage also, but there’s hardly any guys (or women) who want that or think that way. It’s just harder for us. And if you’re from the UK, I can see why it’d be a thousand times worse

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Thanks for the potential explanations and I understand them as explanations and that your not condoning this type of behavior,

    I would like to add, it takes a certain person to cross that line.

    Whether you are married or in a committed relationship, if things are over, then have the guts/decency to say it before you go out and have an affair with someone. You may not be in love with your wife or girlfriend anymore or they may have simply pissed you off (which is a flimsy excuse), but they are your best friend. So, at least respect them enough to tell them to their face before venturing out and screwing around.

    As soon as a guy crosses that line, you put her and yourself at risk when you sleep around behind her back. It is one thing for the marriage/relationship to fail, it's another to be so spiteful that it harms another person for the rest of their life.

    I guess what I am saying... guys who cheat and think only of themselves and their wants is a childish act, suggesting they never grew-up to be a man in the first place.

    • All very good points, especially about putting her at risk.

    • Thanks for MHO.👍

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • "Although lots of guys talk about how much they hate sluts and want virgins, or how some woman over 30 has "hit the wall" and is no longer desirable, this is all absolute bullshit. Many, many men will still have sex with a woman who is clearly putting out, and especially if he very rarely gets sex with anyone and he is just desperate."

    It's not bullshit at all. "The Wall" is about RELATIONSHIP desirability, not SEXUAL desirability. You can't even have a discussion about "the wall" if you can't understand the separation between these two concepts.

    Men will fuck lots and lots and lots of women that they would NEVER consider for a relationship. This is not news, or in any kind of disagreement, but it's something a lot of people just don't seem to UNDERSTAND. Men's willingness or desire to have sex with a woman has almost nothing to do with his desire to BE IN A RELATIONSHIP with her.

    • Very true point. Except I still do think most women who have "hit the wall" are still desirable for a relationship, and a man who rarely gets sex or women - or who might even still be a virgin - is more than likely going to be in a relationship with her, regardless of his declaration to never date women who've hit the wall. And if she is the one to approach or want to date, most guys aren't going to turn that down.

    • Again, you're mixing up a bunch of very different points. The reason it's called "the wall" is because, prior to hitting the wall, 60% of women have enough looks and youth to attract the kinds of men that most women want - men in the top 20% or less of men who are looking for a serious relationship. Of course, most of these women don't take this opportunity seriously, because they assume they'll have these same choices forever. AFTER hitting the wall, those top 20% of men are no longer available to her for a serious relationship (with extremely rare exceptions). Of *course* this doesn't mean that NO men are available to her, but the men who are available to her are NOT the ones she wants, and NOT the ones she was able to attract in her 20s. And, sure, she can still get some SEXUAL attention from those men if she's willing to give them casual sex, but that won't convert to a relationship, which is what she actually wants. The wall is not about casual sex, it's about relationship commitments. Yes, these women can still get SOME men to commit to them, but in the eyes of those women, these are "low-value" men (even if, objectively, they're average or even above average), because all she's ever dealt with before hitting the wall is "high-value men" (as she rates men).

    • Oh, I see. Now this I think is probably true. I think you may be the first man who has ever explained it in a way that makes sense, and not just all that "top 10% of men" stuff. Women do think that all men will always be available to them, and their ego is big because they've had guys chase them and whatnot, so they make all the wrong relationship choices - and sexual ones too. And yeah, it does always seem to be that women later on want the very men they refused before, and now they can't get them.

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  • What you should be asking is why I dudes they got these fine ass women so I can get the ugliest ones to cheat with. It's like man come on serious. I mean come on good vacation point is what's that dude over there in England that called himself a king Charles I mean look at his wife Camila compared to Diana the one that died man the hell was he smoking That's like a slap in the face to their wife when it realized that's what you was messing around with that big elephant. I guess it takes away the pain a lot easier to that way. You find out that your mate was messing with something uglier than you it'll be like oh have at it knock yourself out. That's what you want. Thank you cuz you don't deserve me so that's that's what I don't understand. Why do why do these dudes get the ugliest women to go fool around with me? And damn your wife is like you know attend just hot as hell. I don't know the twisted mine to dudes and what can you say? I guess you just wanted to try out. I wonder , I've heard that sexy unattractive woman got the best. Damn you know what maybe that could be why they go after them? And did they want the ugly women? Not so good looking women. I don't want to know. I'll continue with the pretty ones. I've noticed that these good looking fine women for the ones I met met. They're so cool at first but after a week or two they just flip. I mean start talking crap. It's like what the hell you talking about and man just flip I'm beginning to wonder if all these good looking women out there. It's psycho cuz that's where I meant over the past year. About 7 or 8 fine ass women things go good for about a week or two and it's just flip. Send some crazy s*** that happens repeatedly. I'm just beginning to Wonder does beauty equates to psycho psycho beauty anybody else notice that or had that experience cuz it was just me then I think I'm the one that's crazy

    • I most definitely had that experience with a beautiful woman as well, yes.

    • Sorry for typos I need to start editing better but what is wrong with these fine pretty women just tripping out on you, just met one last week and other day she flipped on me glad I'm not only one noticed that, take care bro

  • if they don't like how their wives or girlfriends are in bed, why are they still with them? Is it so hard to end the relationship before starting a new one?

    • I totally agree.

    • so there is no reason to do it. They have NO reason to cheat. They are simply cruel and mindless.

    • A lot of these guys fear what's going to happen if they leave the wife. Alimony. Or child support. Or anything messy that comes with that kind of separation.

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  • It's beacause those men are...

    - WEAK (don't have power in the relationship)

    - LACK COMMUNICATION SKILLS (shouldn't the topic discussed before marriage? What each other wants?)

    - POOR (if their jobs are secure, no need to worry about the money when processing divorce.)

    - NOT SMART (no self-control acts mean low intelligence. And if their wives know what they're doing behind their backs, it will never end well. Wives can get STI from the husband who sleeps with salads. Why is it so hard to figure that out?

    .

    Men I knew (and now I cut all of them for good) repeatedly complained about their wives/girlfriend.) But never have any actions done in order to be a real man. Most of them are not attractive themselves; I think it's a reason why their partner feel reluctant to please them.

    .

    Solution: Open communication when you're dating.

    • Not just WHEN you're dating, but before as well. Most of these guys just want a beautiful woman, but are totally unaware of themselves.

    • It might come out creepy or inapproporiate if ask about sexual questions too early. For me, I wouldn't like that at all. No matter how good that person looks. If it's you, how do you manage to collect data from woman?

    • I'm an unusual guy who has a knack for getting women to open up about things pretty early on. Of course, they don't tell EVERYthing, but they usually say enough to let me know what I'm dealing with before we start dating. One thing that has oddly worked for me IS talking sexual in the very beginning, especially about things I like with the female body. A lot of guys fail with this, but for some reason something I say or how I say it, or what I'm into, must oddly make females want to open up about stuff they like too.

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  • Inferior genetics and inferior upbringing. Super simple

    • "Genetics" having something to do with cheating instead someone's lack of self-control and base desires? Really, LazerBean? You have been disappointing me.

    • You mean Allele 334 gene? I doubt that too.

    • Or perhaps you aren’t being considerate of male needs

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  • Men that cheat are trash in general but men will date/marry these beautiful 10/10 women and realize that they are bitches in the long run and then go cheat with a nice woman even if she's ugly.

    It's the men's fault in the first place for going after the high maintenance beauties so I don't under why they do it. Just find a nice woman so that won't be a issue

    • Well, like I was saying near the end, these guys choose beautiful women because of course as men they feel like they have to have that, and as a status thing. Me personally? If that's not what I want, I don't pursue it. Regardless of how cool it might make me look. I go after what I want and what turns me on.

    • For status is such a dumb reason 🙄

    • Men's cheat because we have more options why to sattle with normal & nice women?

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  • because they're cheaters... simple

    it's a flaw of character

    • It really is not just that simple. Sexual activity is a very powerful force, and sexual desire can cause challenges that need to be overcome even inside of a relationship or a marriage. You will find happily married men - and women - who have never cheated and stand strong on that STILL be challenged at times. The kicker is when they fail to stay strong, fail to overcome momentary desires. And a lot of men, as I said, will not honestly confront their weaknesses and impulses.

    • yes... and only those with a flaw of character do succumb to a commitment they committed to simple

    • You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

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  • Most of the men I know who cheated didn't even do it over sex. They did it because their future mistress appreciated them more and wasn't as crabby as their girlfriends/wives. Again, not to condone, but if you generally suck to be around and another person doesn't, you can't be surprised when you're not first asked to the dance any longer.

    • Right. This is exactly why I was telling some others on here that it’s really not as "simple" as they wanted to write it off as.

    • @manonfire Yep... not even condoning it, but you can ignore and belittle your man all you want but Becky in accounting thinks he's dreamy so guess who's getting turned out after work.

  • ude it is not complicated

    male sexuality is polygynous, it wants to breed with as much female as possible while he doesn't want other males to breed with theirs.

  • I don't think this is a man or woman type thing though this does look like something BuzzFeed would post would for angry views lol.

    Joking aside people are just disgusting it makes me want to throw up when people cheat.

  • It comes down to sex , Most guys’ that aren’t receiving sex from their partners’ will more than likely be open to having sex with another girl, that doesn’t deny him sex , when a wife or a girlfriend denies her partner intimacy and affection , he feels a distance from her and feels she doesn’t really value him or love him , like she used to , most guy’s will think she is losing interest in him or maybe think she is getting it elsewhere , or planning to get it elsewhere , if there has been a shift in the relationship. All of a sudden , most females don’t realize how important sex is to their men , if she constantly makes excuses that she isn’t in the mood , or she says she has a headache , or she says she is too tired using the same lame excuses every time , when sex was never an issue before , a guy will start losing interest in her and pretty much might be open to another girl that isn’t refusing him the I intimacy and affection he has been craving. Why I tell couples all the time to make sex a priority in your relationship , if you want your relationship to last the long haul , Me personally will leave a girl if she starts lacking in the bedroom and constantly making lame excuses that she isn’t in the mood , I will talk to her and express my feelings of concern as to why she is no longer in the mood , when it was never an issue l before , if she gives me a lame excuse and doesn’t care about my feelings , I will end it with her and eventually find someone else, if I haven’t already. I will not cheat on a girl that makes me her priority the same way I make her , a girl that doesn’t make me a priority, I will treat her
    Like a convenience the same way she treats me , It’s selfish of a partner to constantly refuse intimacy and affection from their partner period , If I am not in the mood to have sex , Inwill please my partner in other ways , she should be doing the same for me , not one sided

    • Yeah, I noted that.

    • I guess because they believe they 've got it made with the hot girl, and can cheat on her to show her that he can have whomever he desires. A pretty cruddy attitude, but much more common than many folk think.

    • @handsomelad70 Yes, absolutely spot on.

  • interesting take. one major thing I noticed that is missing is the ability to rationalize it and the lack of a moral compass. I for one would never cheat have been in a position where I could have several times (didn't know it at the time) and didn't because I was not attracted to those people and I am in a relationship meaning it is wrong on every level.

  • This was a good Take.

    • Also really crazy how almost a WEEK later GaG decides to Feature it now lol.

  • For many men, it is far too simple. They do not feel loved.

  • Well thout out and presented, thank you. The topic can be further simplified... some men cheat because they can.

  • Sitting on him as we speak, this mytake decides his fate 😡

    • Sitting on him🤣 Well, I hope he's eating it good.

    • Doing what he likes and offering it saved him the other day :p cause this has been my approach in my relationship. It's still surprising to me after reading this that men will decide to cheat on their wives. A wife is someone they have decided to commit their life to. He wanting to propose means he thought she was IT and still cheats. Has she been slacking? But I know that just being pretty isn't going to be enough to keep a man. It's just facts. He also told me about the status so I also try to play in on that. As for sex... one of my rules to keep my man is to Take His Soul. I am not worried. Being pretty isn't all

    • And he's still asleep ;)

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  • I've always wondered this also, why a man could be so blindsided to cheat on their hot attractive wife or girlfriend, unless there was something beneath the surface or more to a story indeed 😀😀

  • I don't know. I met a guy that had a very pretty and sweet wife. His side piece was a complete skank and she had a nasty disposition as well. I think this guy got off because he thought he was getting away with something. I wanted to slap him.

    • I'm sure that's part of the thrill too, yeah.

  • Being selfish man, the best way I could describe it

  • I think people that cheat are mentally challenged.

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