Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
In order to understand, you have to know a little about human history, biology, and evolution. Just as women evolved traits and instincts that reinforced the role women play in having and raising children, so too did men. But the role men play in reproduction is very different from a woman’s. A woman can only have about one child per year (not counting twins and other multiple births), plus she and her child will be vulnerable and require care and protection for some period of time, and that was even more true before the era of modern medicine that began in the 1950s.
"Men desire variation- it assures diverse genetics."
Women also bond with and establish an emotional connection to the person they have sex with. For these reasons, women, where they had a choice, have always tried to find the best man they could to have sex with and to father their children, with strength, the ability to provide and to protect being major factors in who they chose.
Because a woman can only have one child per year, she looks for the best man she can find to have sex with that YEAR (at least).
Men work very differently. Biologically, a man’s job is to fertilize the woman’s egg with his sperm, and once that is completed, his job is done. A man can impregnate at least one woman per day, potentially, so his criteria for having sex is based on finding the best woman to have sex with that DAY. In addition, evolution and natural selection favored men who had sex with, and thus fathered children with, as many different women as possible, in particular women who were as different from him genetically as possible.
By having a large and varied genetic pool, he greatly increased the chances that at least SOME of his children would survive both illnesses and any recessive genetic conditions that might be in his family. Men who failed to father children with multiple women could have a disease or genetic abnormality take the lives of all of his children, and thus his genes would die out.
That’s Natural Selection at work!
This is why men developed the instinct and desire to have sex not only with many women, but with different TYPES of women; in other words, men desire VARIATION. It assures diverse genetics, collectively giving his children the best chance to survive.
As civilization developed, and rules and relationships were formalized and religion codified, most early religions allowed men to take multiple wives, though he was expected to provide and protect those that he took. As populations grew, and more fighting occurred from men looking to secure more wives, religion started to establish the concept of a single wife. If “god” allowed only one wife, the theory went, then men would be much less apt to start wars to acquire more, and to some degree, it worked.
But men’s desire for many and diverse women never went away, and brothels and prostitution were present in every group of humans of any notable size, from back before the beginnings of written history. With no birth control, pregnancies among prostitutes were common, and society created rules to protect “official wives” by preventing children born out of marriage from inheriting the man’s property, titles, or even his family name, ensuring the man’s primary focus was on his own family.
Eventually, society even formalized non-prostitute girlfriends as “mistresses”, and as the world recovered from the Dark Ages into the Renaissance and through the end of the 19th Century, mistresses were a common and even accepted part of society. Wives and legitimate children still retained all of the rights and privileges, and mistresses were of much lower stature in society, but the need for them was understood and accepted (though not always welcomed) universally.
"Porn allows a man to see women who look DIFFERENT from the woman he gets in bed with every night, and so his urge to go out and pursue other REAL women dissipates."Fast-forward to today: most men in relationships, whether a marriage or a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, do NOT have mistresses or see prostitutes. Is that because men no longer feel compelled to have sex with numerous different women? Not at all; men still have those strong instinctual desires. But today, men have PORN, and the fantasies that they create in their heads based on viewing porn, that satisfy those urges to a great degree. Porn allows a man to see women who look DIFFERENT from the woman he gets in bed with every night, and so his urge to go out and pursue other REAL women dissipates.
This is a good time to address another issue women have with porn: assuming that the type of women your man looks at in porn is the type of women he wants to date/be with/marry. Women say “you can’t be attracted to ME, because those women you look at look nothing like me!”
That’s missing the point entirely: no matter what a man’s girl looks like, he’s driven to be sexually attracted to women who look different from her.
If she’s a tall, thin blonde with big breasts, he may look at tiny Asian women, or curvy Black women, or dark-haired Latina women, not because he isn’t attracted to his own girl, but simply because he desires VARIATION. It’s biological programming that he can’t control, just like women who get “baby fever” when all their friends start having children, or who panic when their “biological clock” starts ticking down.
The thing to realize and understand is that porn greatly reduces the urge to ACTUALLY CHEAT. Instead of your man hitting on the girl at work, or going to bars alone to meet women, or chatting with girls on Facebook in order to meet and have sex with them to satisfy his urges for variation, he watches porn. And unlike those other alternatives, porn requires no personal interactions. Your man isn’t talking to the girls in porn, has never met those girls, and probably has no desire to.
He won’t develop an emotional connection with them and leave you, because he’s just using their images to satisfy his biological needs. Porn is cheap, convenient and the least dangerous option to the relationship.
If you take porn away, something would take its place; we’d be back to girlfriends, mistresses, and prostitutes, and I think most women would agree that porn is a far better solution than that.
For women who say “men should just focus on their girlfriend/wife and forget about other girls completely”, remember this is a biological instinct that is deeply programmed into most men. It would be like telling women “just don’t get attached when having sex” or “ignore your biological clock”. Most people simply can’t do those things, because the instincts and desires are innate; they’re an integral part of what and who we are. Even men would like to be able to turn those instincts off sometimes, as many women would find it convenient to turn their own instincts off on occasion, but it’s not possible.
The best we can do is acknowledge those instincts and deal with them in the way that causes the least amount of problems. To date, porn is the best solution for dealing with men’s desire for sexual variation, and if more women understood that, and understood what the alternatives were, they would feel very differently about porn.
What Girls & Guys Said
88 63I don't support the p*rn industry. I think that every person is unique and has so many capabilities to improve the society in which we live in and having sex as an occupation just shows how much some people lack dignity. P*rn warps a persons perceptionsand causes the viewer to look at women as sex objects which isn't right at all. Sure not all men are affected in that way, but paedolphiles certainly are. Plus, there are so manywomen with depression that resort to become p*rnstars and end up worse
Men watch p*rn because they're curious about positions, insecure about their ability to attract a woman, untrusting that a woman will ever really commit, and do it when they believe they won't get in trouble. Natural selection has nothing to do with that.
Unlike animals, promiscuity destroys human civilizations. It's a spiritual deficiency.
As for torture p*rn? Primarily two things motivate that: 1) Being sick in the head or 2) having a morbid sense of curiosity.
I've said this before, but never so patiently or lengthily. Well done. Excellent article.
The definitive answer for women who just don't get it.
to masturbate
umm watching p*rn should actually INCREASE his need to go outside the relationship. He will pressure her or at least want her to do the things he sees in p*rn. Sooner or later, it'll negatively affects the relationship. I'm guilty of watching it, but really it's not that satisfying and makes me feel like crap after.
okay first off this is the most ridiculous article ever. Where are the credits, the research done to back this paper? Have they looked at how p*rn hasn't been around for centuries? and that it is something that feminists started in hopes to stop men from cheating? or how about the fact that p*rn can become addicting by affecting the pleasure part of your brain and millions of divorces happen every year due to p*rn.There's no excuse why men should watch other naked woman, ever.
I don't mind if my guy watches p*rn as long as he has no issues with inviting me to join him.
I agree with the comment below me. My boyfriend watched live cam p*rn and I asked him what would the different be if I was the girl on there and other guys saw my body. It wouldn't be an emotional connection just physical. Would he like that? No, he said he wouldn't- so why is it okay for him to see other women's naked bodies? What is the difference between him looking at naked bodies and me being naked or me looking at a guy's naked body? Double standard I think.
@AmberChick @VALEN_tine_ANGEL People demonize p*rn stars because they are afraid of the unexplainable; i. e., that someone may enjoy acting on camera with their clothes off. The professionals in the industry have fun with it and don't have the same shame triggers that other people do, so the easiest way to explain it away is by vilifying them. Comparing watching to performing in it is an apples-and-oranges logical fallacy. Most p*rn is a one-way street. The audience is never identifiable to itself. Performing, however, runs up against those same triggers that would inevitably flow from friends, family, and possibly children when word got out. Compare guys going to a strip club and girls going to a Chippendales show, not going up on stage and making public what most people expect to be private in their relationships. The major difference is trust. It's the difference between looking out your window and seeing the chick next door undressing vs. standing in your own window nude.
What the shit? That makes absolutely no sense! I'm sure he wouldn't mind you watching porn, the same as you shouldn't mind him watching porn. How does that correlate? your body being naked in webcam to others guys, not as a job, compared to the woman's job to do live cam to make her money and build her fan base and his sexual need to get off? Complete difference.
@AmberChick He doesn't dare to look at your body, including pussy/boobs? That is not good, believe me. My girlfriend is always first choice to look at naked. :-) I can do that for hours, looking at her pussy, if she would be here now.
That's because girls don't watch p*rn as often as boys. Their outlet for things like this are Hollywood stars like Johnny Depp, who every woman seems to worship. From what I've seen, women talk about famous guys they think are sexy far more often than men will talk about famous women, or even p*rnstars.
Womeb don't do? LOL
I hate p*rn because guys get addicted to it, I get your point but when
It gets to the point were they HAVE to watch everyday no way that's not normal
And I agree with (uglyswan) girls want different d.. Too not just guys THATS FOR SURE lol but good point anyways ..
Wow, this is a ridiculous amount of bullocks. Blaming male over-sexualized thinking on biological factors will never be correct. I wish I could provide the exact answer to "why", though - but seeing sex done visually from the outside and experiencing it cause arousal in a different way.
I'm guessing it has something to do with the mirror-neurons, as seeing something done will still fire up the neurons responsible for it.
Note, this might be biological, but NOT for the desire to screw many.
Own up to it: it's wrong, but you like doing it. It's in no way good for a relationship, but you like doing it. It's jerking off instead of fucking your girlfriend like you should want to, but you like doing it. At least if you manned up about it it wouldn't be so pathetic.
5 females seem to have problems with guys watching porn. May I know the reason? If it is lesser sex-drive of him, then talk with him!
What a crock of shit. p*rn has been proven to create distance in relationships, to strengthen men's objectification of women, to render men unable to get erections or orgasms with real women. Bringing up biology is nothing but a sad excuse.
I have no problem with men watching p*rn. I actually like watching p*rn with them. Well, it amuses me, not the p*rn, but the man getting off on the p*rn.
We've heard this old, lame, tired treatise on men, p0rn, and s e x. We can try to make it like women are that selective and emotional, but the truth is that the real facts go against this. Women only care about meaningful s e x and emotional s e x when they want to care about it. Dude, don't you know there are more and more women going to male escorts and gigalos for s e x now? I could go on and on, but I don't have enough characters left. But just know your post is old and wishful.
I actually agree with you. Women are wayyy more sexual than men
@Warmapplecrumble You think MORE sexual?
Of course Mr Fire :-*
@Warmapplecrumble Lol. I remember that adorable name. Warm apple crumble😁
Would you like to eat some warm apple crumble :-)
@Warmapplecrumble Sounds like a plan 😉
Would you put cream on top of it :-)?
@Warmapplecrumble Oh you naughty girl, lol.
What's naughty about that :-p
@Warmapplecrumble Hahahaaa. Oh you're just too good 😉
Oh but you are my teacher :-* I learn from the best ♥
@Warmapplecrumble I'll teach you something alright 😆
You need to teach me a lesson :-p
@Warmapplecrumble Maybe with a trip over my knee, you naughty girl?
@AustinMan no Mr Fire I am not naughty
@Warmapplecrumble Then view it as a lesson in dominance and submission?
@AustinMan would you like a crumble too? :-)
@Warmapplecrumble Very much!!
@AustinMan would give a creampie in exchange?
@Warmapplecrumble For sure, among other things.
@Warmapplecrumble Oh I'm gonna give you something better than that 😆
@AustinMan ooo what other things? @ManOnFire what other things will you provide for me in this feast :-) You both sound so similar maybe you should try the crumble at once ;-)
@Warmapplecrumble Maybe a lesson in rough, passionate dominant sexual power that will show you just what joy can cum from sexual submission.
@Warmapplecrumble A blissful dessert. With a cherry on top 😉
@AustinMan don't you want to lick the crumble :-p @ManOnFire you can be the banana inside ♡
I agree, even without the background info...I LOVE my girlfriend and would never cheat. But since she has to work and sleep sometimes, I'm going to masturbate to p*rn. Theoretically, if we were both rich and retired I would never watch p*rn and just have sex with her 24/7.
Actually I think I would join him instead.
OK. so if many women finally choose to be p*rn stars, why do so many people demonize them ? and why do men call them b I t c h e s ? if men think its OK to watch p o are and o graphy then why do they think their girlfriends or wives who show off their bodies in front of other men are considered cheaters ?
if you think you are allowed to see other women's bodies, then why do you mind if other men see your girlfriend's or wife's body ? does payment or without payment make difference ?
Because...