Why Penises Are Getting Smaller

I offer no evidence for this theory but ask you to accept it because I'm very clever and found some pics on Google.

Back in the day, the main requirements of a husband was he had a steady job, was free from TB and was able to satisfy your cardinal desires. Penis size was an important factor in choosing a husband. Your job was to clean the house, cook dinner and bare children until he died fighting to expand the empire or from an opium overdose.

What women considered important back in the day
What women considered important back in the day

Sultan Moulay Ismail Ibn Sharif, better known as Ismail the bloodthirsty fathered 888 children. You don't get to dick that many girls even if you are sultan unless your packing a serious size kebab.

Badboy, bearded and well hung.
Badboy, bearded and well hung.

Victorian women were notorious for churning out huge families. Again this wouldn't have happened if the men back then were small .

Her legs were rarely closed thanks to monster Victorian dick
Her legs were rarely closed thanks to monster Victorian dick

If we travel further back into antiquity we see penises get bigger and bigger

They really were this big
They really were this big

And even prehistoric cave art shows the importance of a large penis.

Primitive cave art but they got proportions right
Primitive cave art but they got proportions right

With the invention of cinema, Hollywood created a new list of must have characteristics. Now he had to be tall and good-looking as well as having a big penis, a good job and free of whatever disease was doing the rounds. Even the seaside postcards of the era sent a clear message, you're not a real man unless you've got a big dick

A clear social message
A clear social message

But all that was about to change, with each new movie star the concept of the perfect husband grew. Around the same time feminism took hold. Even if you weren't a hard-line radical you were still influenced by the growing movement and the pressure on men increased. In under a 100 year's womens ideal man went from having "long dick with a heavy wallet" to a complex long list of demands.

As the list grew the importance of each characteristic decreased. Suddenly men who weren't blessed with big dicks were able to find wives just as long as they ticked 20 other boxes like being able to dance or having a nice haircut or cool tattoo.

Modern womens expectations of men
Modern women's expectations of men

This caused a massive shift in the genepool forcing down the average penis size from 8 inches to a paltry 5 inches and it continues to shrink.

Feel free to use this picture to answer gags millions of dick size questions
Feel free to use this picture to answer gags millions of dick size questions

With the Internet came easy access to porn. As we all know pornstars are larger than the average modern man and are closer in size to what you're great grandmother sought on a Friday night. The average modern man felt his 5 inch penis couldn't complete and many not having great jobs or nice cars simply gave up trying. On the other hand small men used to ridicule took up the slack by investing in facial hair, tattoos and acting really alpha. Scientists predict in the next 100 years this will shrink the average penis to 4 inches.

Hopefully they wont turn green
Hopefully they won't turn green

So there you go, it's all womens fault.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • LoL... Tattoos are now trending throughout the gay community.
    It's a trend that literally didn't age well.

  • Mine has been 8” for many, many years, no change.

  • Interesting, but I haven't noticed mine getting any smaller.

  • The demasculation of little boys is the cause of adult males having gherkins instead of cucumbers.

  • And I was wondering who should I blame for that

  • I think you may be onto something...

    • Mine gets bigger, before it gets smaller

  • Perfect. Can’t argue with logic and sound historical science. Truth hurts. I also have a large penis and a great job but struggle nowadays… sigh 😔

  • Change in eating habits 😂

  • I guarantee you that you have a disgusting female body. I'd bet money on it.

  • Girls love tiny wangs

  • Touch estrogennin food.

  • Dude this is bonkers

  • My wife like my 5 inch or a little bit bigger dick. Lose weight and gain length. If you wake up hard you are healthy.

  • I’d say it’s going to a point that women prefer men with larger penises. Women are more vocal and protective of their rights and since men often focus on physical features, many women are rejecting men with smaller penises too.

  • I went from 12 inches to 5 inches it been since 2007 so lose what you don't use that means fingers, hands, feet and so on

  • you're so evil for hating on men for physical feature

  • Try natural remedies

  • I will blame Trump because, why not?

  • Misinformation

  • yggdrasil is gone

    so everything is getting smaller

    just like your vagina

  • Show More (6)