Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I will post several links on the bottom for reference. My view is that promiscuity is a social disfunction and longterm relationships/marriage is best. Just to clarify, I do not advocate promiscuity. This is all strongly based in research, not opinion. This isn't about who is at fault, if anyone is it is both males and females. I blame the Sexual Revolution as the true reason which I will get to. I am open to ridicule, suggestions, arguments, changes that need to be made. Cheers, God Bless!
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Current day: single motherhood is rising, a huge indicator/correlation to poverty, abortion rates rising, divorce rising, STD infections, etc. I blame most of these current day effects from the sexual revolution of the 1960's and 1970's where you have this hook up culture or "experimenting and finding yourself" takes place. Now, current day this is common, you have friends with benefits, ONS, open relationships, and so on. The divorce rate is increasing and relevant so let's begin with divorce rates and the sexual revolution.
1950: 26%
1955: 23%
1959: 22%
1967: 26%
1970: 33%
1975: 48%
1980: 52%
1985: 50%
As time goes on, just as the 60's and 70's came you have a spike in divorce rates. After the 70's you have a steady rate. What causes this to occur? I am lead to believe in result of the sexual revolution, and is continuing to be this way from promiscuity.
The more sexual partners a woman has before marriage the higher the chances of divorce, STDs, abortions, pregnancy, general unhappiness becomes. The misconception is that more partners equates to more happiness when the opposite is true, in other findings couples with less sexual partners or no sexual partners before marriage are actually happier and have a higher marriage success rate. (not divorcing in their marriage).
Effect on Men/Chivalry
Now comes to this effecting men. Women before the sexual revolution were expected to wait for marriage. Yet with the anti war attitudes by the younger generation there was a "rebellion" towards the parents values being waiting for marriage along with other things. Out of this, the sexual revolution was pushed in suit with the feminist movement which pushed for sexual liberation also. The pill was another factor so was contraceptions making sex "safer" until we see the results now.
Men, use to have to work to get a woman. There wasn't many woman sleeping around, if so at that time period they would be shamed and not desirable. A man would have to try to get a woman to be with him, if he was able to get her there are reasons he would stay. One of those reasons being that if you work for something, you are more likely to keep and hold onto whatever it is you worked for. Another reason was that since getting a woman was relatively more difficult than today is that looking for another woman is not an option since of course women were harder to get. However, now, men and women are available at any call. You have Tinder, Snapchat, all these other ways to hook up and have sex, porn became more popular a huge factor as well. We live in the age of Instant Gratification now, look around, it is all about you. The consumer. The pursuit of pleasure is all around, fast food, porn, drugs, alcohol, and sex. Now sex is a good thing in the right place, promiscuity is not. However, just as we live in a society where we abuse fast food, porn, drugs, and alcohol, we also abuse sex and the effects are less seen and called normal. Since woman give themselves away so fast now, so meaninglessly as do men mind you, no one would take the time to pursue anything more than a hook up style relationship. Men no longer have to try to get a girl to sleep with him, women are willingly giving themselves away.
Why would a man settle down when there is no reason to?
Why would a man respect a woman who gives herself away in 3 days?
Why would a man raise his standards if women aren't demanding it?
Men will continually hook up as long as women are there available to do so.
Porn And Its Effects
From Tigerfreedom.com By Beau Norton
By Beau Norton — April 24, 2014
Chapter 11 of the famous book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill refers to a phenomenon called the “transmutation of sex energy.” This may very well be the most important yet most overlooked chapter of the entire book. Napoleon Hill clearly states that practically every extremely successful person that he personally interviewed was of a “highly sexed nature” but redirected that energy into their work rather than releasing it. If you’re a man, then I hope you are paying attention. Our culture today could be said to be a “sex culture.” We are constantly being bombarded with sexual images and subtle references to sex. Why is this a bad thing? Because it is encouraging men worldwide to release their sexual energy! This energy is far more valuable than you might realize.
Constant release of sexual energy is very damaging
First of all, it’s important to note that the release of sexual energy is viewed as a ‘normal’ thing in today’s society, especially for men. The porn industry being worth $97 billion worldwide (2006) speaks for itself. Men are constantly releasing their sexual energy, and it is hurting them greatly.
Masturbation is one of the biggest detriments to men worldwide. For one, it kills the drive to actually go out and meet real women. Many men today are very feminized and lack the courage to even talk to women. I haven’t been on earth that long, but I’m willing to bet that many years ago, the percentage of men that actually had some balls was far greater. I say that for one reason: they didn’t have access to internet pornography.
The release of sexual energy through masturbation is also damaging to your overall health. Semen is a highly concentrated substance. The body uses large amounts of minerals and nutrients to produce semen. If you are constantly releasing your semen, the body has to continuously take minerals from other parts of your body to replace it. This can lead to severe mineral deficiencies that result in depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, mental fog, and many other unpleasant things. You are not only releasing energy when you masturbate, you are also releasing valuable nutrients that your body needs to function at maximum efficiency.
Porn is killing your ability to be happy
Porn is very stimulating. It releases dopamine in the brain, which actually causes you to become addicted to pornography. It is the same mechanism in the brain that is responsible for the addiction to drugs, food, television, video games, etc. If you watch porn on a regular basis, you are constantly desensitizing yourself to the release of dopamine. This essentially means that you will need more and more stimulation over time to give you the same “high.” You become addicted to the stimulation of pornography to the point where regular life becomes less enjoyable because it is not stimulating enough to cause a release of dopamine. In short, porn decreases your ability to receive happiness from the small things in life.Masturbation without porn is still not advised. It is still an unhealthy addiction, and let’s be honest, it’s pretty pathetic when you think about it. Men around the world are jacking off to images on a computer screen while women are wondering where all the real men are. Quite frankly, there aren’t many. Stop masturbating and you might just reverse the damage and finally become one.
Learn to channel your sex energy into creative endeavors
There’s a good reason for a whole chapter in Think and Grow Rich being dedicated to the topic of sexual energy. Because sex energy is the most powerful motivating and creative force! Think about it. If sex is powerful enough to have 99% of men around the world addicted to it, then there has to be something very special about it. Most men waste this energy at every opportunity. Extremely successful people use this energy wisely as the motivating force behind their actions.
I have a challenge for you. Stop masturbating for 30 days and see what happens. At the end of 30 days, I can almost guarantee you will experience more energy and creativity. When you stop releasing that valuable energy, it becomes available for you to channel it into other activities such as working out, meeting women, starting a business, reading books, and other things that actually benefit you.
Here are a few of the reported benefits of abstaining from porn and masturbation:
More energy and needing less sleep
Relief from depression and anxiety
Clear-headedness and increased focus
More confidence and self-esteem
Better self-expression (social skills, body language, tone of voice, etc)
- Beau Norton
I agree with this statement from Norton, porn is a deceptive instrument and is trapping many into the pursuit of pleasure which can't be fulfilled. Ted Bundy, serial killer and rapist proclaimed before his execution that he and all other convicts were heavily involved in porn use. The rule of thumb is porn needs to satisfy and eventually these things become enacted into reality.
Many porn stars have died from alcohol abuse, drug abuse, STDs, suicide. Also, many have been sold or forced into sex rings, porn, and the such be women, men, or children. Porn is a nasty thing after going through the looking glass.
Why is this Focused Towards Women?
Because Women have the power to change all this around. If women collectively all were to raise their standards in other words not giving themselves away so fast and gain some confidence in themselves then men would HAVE TO FOLLOW. You don't believe a man will follow? The past men had to work to get a woman, and it will happen as soon as women decide to. Sexual Energy is a strong source. A man will raise his standards to be with a woman and would be with a woman he truly wants to.
This would also decrease divorce, cheating, and out of wedlock pregnancy rates. How? Divorce is caused by several things, unhappiness, fiscal matters, cheating. Infidelity is a huge reason. Why does this happen? That is more so debatable however the truth is that if there is no one to cheat with, there won't be any cheating. Take away the supply, the demand will die down. Cheating won't only decrease in marriage, however will decrease overall only if women don't have sex with everyone. Divorce, divorce will decrease, taking a look at the graphs in the links will help visualize this point. The less sexual partners before marriage the happier the couple tends to be than more sexual partners. Pregnancy rates, again, if there is no one sleeping around it will naturally decrease.
Women are the ones issuing divorce more than men do. The number 1 reason for divorce is not alcohol abuse, physical abuse, not fiscal issues, but dissatisfaction. You may say is this is correlation not causation, however I recommend to take a look at the links below.
Women are better off, healthier, safer, and happier without engaging in hook up culture and pursuing a long term marriage/relationship. Women have most to gain from waiting.
Sex isn't a Toy
Yes, we live in a very hyper sexual society, yes it is very hard not to dwell and consume this awesome thing of sex! This hook up society is just instant gratification. Just like fast food or candy, it is just sugar. It isn't meant to be thrown around and be with so many people. As we see on movies or social media sex talked about or shown to be fun, risk free, encouraged. However, there is true risk with this, evidently really bad risks at hand. Yes, at the moment you may not be having sex, but it isn't a huge issue. The mindset is, ohh if I don't have it now I need to do it as soon as possible.
Misconceptions About Sex Early
I have heard many women state that they have sex early and expect a relationship in return when this has never worked. Give what he wants and get what I want in return right?
Expecting happiness in a relationship. Many seem to think a relationship is where happiness/life begins when that is another fallacy. Happiness is a conscious and active choice. Happiness is also an internal thing, not external. If you try to change the outside be your body, environment, whatever internal thing you change that won't fix an internal problem. That is why I advocate EVERYONE to be confident and work on themselves, pursue the best version of themselves because changing the external won't make the internal happy. Getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons is a huge cause in divorce as well. Go into a relationship because you like that person, want to better yourselves off each other, and you want to pursue a long term relationship together. Don't go into one for approval, for lust, for money. You should already be happy right now, even if the reason is just being alive which actually is a huge reason to be happy since life is a gift!
For You
I encourage anyone who reads this to wait for a worth while person, sure and true love. I would strongly advocate waiting for marriage since the benefits are quite clear. There are clear repercussions with sex out of marriage and if you are fine with that, be aware. What is most beneficial is that you know this information and the effects it is having on you.
Men and Women, I advocate you wait longer, much longer, look for long term relationships, you will be far better off. I encourage all to control their impulses and desires as well.
What I Am Not Saying
This isn't to shame anyone or tell you what to do. This is showing you that maybe there is a problem going on and we should really think about what we are doing. You are free to make the choice, however you are not free from the consequences of your actions. Many people including myself didn't know about all this and now, I am glad I do!
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Sources
Divorce Statistics: http://divorce.lovetoknow.com/Historical_Divorce_Rate_Statistics
Sexual Revolution: http://study.com/academy/lesson/the-sexual-revolution-history-origins-impact.html
Effects of Promiscuity: http://cdn.freedomainradio.com/FDR_2899_Marriage_Partners_Study.pdf
Effects of Promiscuity Cont: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr48/nvs48_16.pdf
Current Divorce Rates: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/marriage_divorce_tables.htm
Sexual Energy: Think & Grow by Napoleon Hill
Reasons of Divorce: https://www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/10-most-common-reasons-for-divorce/
Divorce Reasons Cont.: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/yourtango/10-most-common-reasons-people-divorce_b_8086312.html
Effects Of Porn: http://www.drsyrasderksen.com/blog/effects-of-pornography#sthash.cppxBL2Z.dpbs
Effects of Porn Cont: Beau Norton
What Girls & Guys Said
32 47Great take - I would agree!
Thanks man, appreciate that!
I got interrupted by a notification but I was going to say that I'm all for promiscuity among women. It makes my life A LOT easier! Mind you I don't give a flying fuck about relationships. These times certainly suck for romantic men
That is funny! Haha, why don't you care about relationships? Either way, now is a terrible time for romance.
Basically I'd rather put the effort into myself - relationships are too much work. And my efforts are paying off - I'm in graduate program now
That is awesome you are in a graduate program! However, have you considered your future? Do you want kids? It is funny, my father told his sister when he was a younger that he would never get married and live on a farm, now he is married and lives in the suburbs. That is great it suits you bro
I don't want kids, no. Perhaps things will change but I am pretty happy living along and going out with friends occasionally. The family life just doesn't really seem exciting to me tbh
Interesting, we all have our ideals, I always thought it would be nice to raise a family one day, give everything I have to family ya know?
There is no work or coaxing you're either attractive or you aren't, and women's actual want of chivalry has gone down because people are fucking far earlier into life so they become accustomed to only caring about good lays, attractiveness and secrecy
At the end of the day, what matters is people's freedom to choose and if people continue to choose to sleep around then there is nothing to be done about it.
People are masturbating just as much as they always have. You don't need porn to masturbate, but there has been porn since about forever. It's more convenient now, and there is a wider variety, but it's been around since before the printing press. The real problem in the US is economic inequality and the destruction of the middle class. People who marry after college tend to stay married. People who marry young without college have a much harder time. A guy used to be able to walk out of high school into a union job that would pay him enough to have a modest house, a car, and support a family. Not any more.
Another reason for the higher divorce rate is that women have more financial independence and aren't stuck in a shitty marriage due to an inability to support themselves. My mother was stuck in a bad marriage because she didn't see how she could manage on her own.
Well-explained, I'm highly explained! I definitely agree with you.
However I'm still not convinced that free sex directly relates with chivalry, but everything is co-related indirectly so...
I highly discourage sex before marriage too. Sex has literally become so cheap humans don't value each other anymore. The list of its harm to the society will never end.
What really killed chivalry: women
Women punish chivalry and reward lack of chivalry. Therefore, men stopped being chivalrous. If women rewarded chivalry and punished lack of chivalry, then men, wanting to win over women, would be chivalrous. It's very simple really.
This is all great, but it fails to mentions the simple fact that people are insufferable and always have been. People trigger each other constantly. Just because more people were married in the 50's, doesn't mean they were happily married. It doesn't help that we tell people that someday we will find that person who will accept us for who we are. You know how many insufferable people are out there? They all got that in the back of their mind. We should teach our children that they should improve their character first, or otherwise no model will bring genders together in happiness.
I agree, personally i think people have become too sensitive. Character should be built foremost
Yeah. People should know they aren't special snowflakes who get what they want at the end of the day, no matter how shitty they are as a person. Teach children they should treat others with respect and then they will be rewarded with a good partner. Work on their inner issues first. If everyone does this, then you will see it is much easier to find a compatible partner. Now, if something triggers you, and you can't handle it, you should apparently seek out a 'safe space' instead of self-analysing if there might have been something they did wrong too. You can't always be right in life. Instead, so many people have this self absorbed attitude of always being right.
So true! I am very glad you said this! Hopefully these trends will change
Hope so too dude! One day perhaps.
great take! it is true.
Like a lot of things if you can take a very black and white view of things, you can get a distorted picture. I agree with some of your points but have a few counter arguments.
(1) Increased divorce rates - Nowadays people have the freedom to leave bad marriages which could contribute to an increase
(2) Too much masturbation - I masturbate twice a day (bad) if I have sexual relations with a partner to ejaculation (s) twice a day , is this also bad?
(3) Sensible pre marital or pre relationship sex, possibly finding out about yourself and physical chemistry with someone instead of waiting to marriage to find out we were really good friends but not great lovers.
Overall I accept the general thrust of your argument, I just wouldn't be so puritanical about it.
Yes, abusive relationships are why divorce is so good, however 20 - 25%? I am not so sure, since the main reason for divorce is dissatisfaction. Abuse is a good reason, however isn't the main one which is why I pointed out how the more sexual partners before marriage leads to a higher chance of divorce be dissatisfaction. Don't get wrong, abuse is still an issue and a terrible thing. There are many reasons why masturbation is bad. Masturbation, ejaculation in general is a releases of many nutrients your body has, and uses them cheaply. Also, if you use porn, that has a toll on your mind, makes you lazy, think about people as objects, etc. Sometimes porn pushes you to act those fetishes you see into reality. There is no need to masturbate and the main issue is being that it is an addiction. No one needs to masturbate, they just want to. Having control of your impulses and desires is more important than satisfying a "itch" or lust. Masturbation is based on lust usually.
Which isn't good for your mind and body. Porn also kills your productivity and creativity, can create stress and depression since many uses porn to fill a void in their heart or to run away from their issues and besides facing them, they ignore them and focus on pleasure. Porn is a distraction and is slowly killing you. What evidence is there for sexual compatibility? I mean, communicate what you like and practice. Also, who is to say you can't speak about sex until marriage? You can let the partner know what they like before marriage as well. I mean, not everything since they haven't had sex, however they can say what they might like. There is evidence that couples with less partners are more happy, so I am not to sure if sexual compatibility is a significant issue. Great questions man, cheers
Most of what you said is spot on, however while I agree that porn is damaging, masturbation and ejaculation is not. There's no science to support this idea of retaining "sexual energy" by not ejactulating. My guess is that refraining from doing so probably has kind of a placebo effect, but it doesn't actually change anything in reality.
Many guys who struggle with porn addiction go to nofap and yourbrainonporn, and while there's some good advice there they go too far and it's a bit cultish. There are a lot of strange people in there with strange ideas (and often shame) about sex. They make huge exaggerations, one big one for example being that going without ejaculation raises testosterone levels. In fact all that happens is that testosterone levels spike at 7 days of abstinence then they return to normal levels.
In fact regular sex (not masturbation) increases testosterone, abd actually dors provide all of the benefits you listed. Regular ejaculation also massively reduces the risk of prostate cancer. So the message should really be to ditch porn altogether and just have regular sex with someone you love.
I am all for leaving porn, if you quit porn that is a blessing on its own and would be all I could ask.
Because most young good guys simp for hoes
while ignoring good women (personal experience).
i think promiscuity is killing a lot more than chivalry
I should have changed chivalry to relationships, that would have been a better suiting title. But you are right, it is destroying the family unit, relationships, creating poverty, more abortions, divorce, etc.
Not this again.
Chivalry has nothing to do with women not really in the entire code of chivalry the only thing that has anything to do with women is this very short line.
Treat women with respect.
That's it only thing in the entire code that has to do with women.
The idea of Chivalry relates to women and dating is a common misconception by people who don't know any better.
The code mainly and primarily outlines the duties of a knight to the church, god and king as well as how one should act in society, on the battlefield and in one on one combat.
Yes, treat the queen and other nobility with respect, not the common women... We can use the term differently now, the term has changed you know. It is not the old term it is a colloquial way for saying, respect, value, etc.
Doesn't change what I said, the code has very little if anything to do with women.
We use the term differently now bro. There can be multiple meanings to a word. Context is what matters.
I already know the meaning and context of the word and how it was used in that code. And again the code has nothing to do with women. Doesn't matter how many times you repeat yourself that's not going to change.
Alright man
I really don't like chivalry. Too many rules, so many contradictions.
Protect the weak (women and children), protect the king. What if the king slaughters women and children? What if the women start attacking the king? What if the women start eating their children? What if one of the three start attacking me?
At what point do I cut off the kings head, or gut a woman, or execute a child?
Bless you, and bless anyone telling us young people this truth, I spent too many years feeling bad for not hooking up with women while my friends did, I just can't fake true attraction to get laid like everyone else does so I guess I'll have to wait for it
God Bless man, cheers!
I agree all the way but at the same time I don't care if chivalry gets killed or not. I no longer see a point in its existence, the way I see it now is nothing but a tool created by our government to keep us under control. like seriously who said the only purpose we men have in life is to find a dumb broad in our life to commit and have kids with?
I should have changed the title to "How Promiscuity is Killing Relationships" Many people have also come to me with this issue, and I totally would have changed it. Chivalry yes can be good, isn't the main issue. I think I should have switched this to Relationships.
as a person who loves being single and values his solitude I think relationship would of been more meaningless. but again that's just me, here where I'm from women aren't worth being relationship material and I kind of like it this was cause it inspires me to stay single and not fall into any of the million traps that most modern day relationships can put you through
I think it is worth it to give women a chance and date in a long term waiting relationship.
true but thanks to this promiscuity madness its a little tough to put all your hopes on these types of things. I mean obviously you see the negativity of promiscuity from traditional point of view but I see it more from a street point of view. I think promiscuity is bad because often time promiscuous women expect MORE than just sex from you, and I say more in capital for a reason
What would MORE entail?
its a little long story but I wrote a mytake on it not too long ago, feel free to check it out when you get a chance
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a48767-reasons-why-i-hold-such-negative-views-on-female-promiscuity-the
Geez, really?
TLDR - so you thought GAG was really 'guys go on and on'? LOL
I gotta admit, this is a pretty good mytake. With sources and all.
And Im not into mytakes either, but this is good.
Thanks man, appreciate that!
*raises hand*
What do you do if you don't meet someone you want to be in a relationship with? Possibly never?
If you don't want to be in a relationship at all, or just people around you aren't what your looking for? I would say keep looking, maybe not in the same places. Depends who you want to be with.
There are no guys I know I would ever be in a relationship with. They have too much going on.
Hmm, if you are in college that can make sense. Yet, have you looked elsewhere besides school if you go to one, church, park, library, beach, gym, etc. There are many places to meet people. My advice, just keep looking, better yourself and be ready for when the right man comes. To get the right man, you have to be the right woman, are you at the same standard you set for him? Work on yourself, ready for when the opportunity comes. Cheers
I really enjoyed reading this, and I was actually holding off of it for around two weeks before I finally took my time to start and finish it. This is about it. "The Calling". I needed to understand better, as I myself couldn't ever put it into words. My whole reason for abstaining was basically a "just because"- a reason a lot of guys try living up to, but is as fragile as is.
I've said this around a couple of times, but I think I'm one of the few people that actualy managed to see masturbation from an outsider's point of view. I didn't start masturbating until I turned 18 (gray moral reasons), and have experienced it's effects firsthand. I always eather introverted, shy and had all of those bad things associated with it. I actually became less "stiff" and a lot more confident... but probably only on the outside. I felt a lot more fragile in an internal level, as if I lost a part of myself and I started to become more like others, with all their insecurities, fear and anxiety.
I apologise for the short life story, but I wanted to give my take on it. I used to think it was pretty fucked up when apparently masturbating thinking about a girl at school was the "normal" thing.