Why the heck do SOME men do this when a woman is on top during sex?

[brennanhuff]

Question in Bold Here---- [And that is, not just thrusting up some, but holding her hips and jackhammering up or trying to take over or doing more of the thrusting or much more or all of it basically?]

Isn't the point of woman on top for the woman to be in control? It's not like there's a shortage of man in control positions or actually it's the reverse.

You can add your opinion or vote for opinions that may best be what your thoughts would be.

I'm pretty sure there are like thousands of male dominant/movement positions, so it annoys seeing it in porn, when a man can go to the gazillion positions to do if he wants to pound away on the woman.

[MissMonstaz]

I don't know why men do that but in my personal experience, being on top is a lot of work so I do get tired after bouncing for awhile so I do tend to slow down lol so the guy would usually start doing that and I have no complain cause it feels extremely amazing. Then I go back to riding him when I get my energy back.

[brennanhuff]

Well I'm talking about how it's where the majority of it is the guy thrusting regardless of the woman being tired. I've seen that, and I'm wondering what the point of her being on top is if he's trying to take over or she's hardly moving right off the bat. Bouncing? That seems like that would be tiring. Wouldn't thrusting be easier? And the funny thing is women don't do that when they are on the bottom even though women can thrust up too. It might be harder, I haven't had women do much to me, thoight because I don't stop when on top, but I can feel some move a little and know some can if they were trying to. And have seen one where a woman tried taking over on the bottom. It's just so rare whereas, it happens much more for men on the bottom. Just seems like sex is very lopsided unfortunately. I expect to do more as man which is fine and fun. and expect more than half. But that's one thing, but it's another thing for it to not even be close to half way.

[brennanhuff]

I think sex is best or better when women try to meet men more halfway, not literally, but as far as on top, positions, variations and effort and aggression or thrusting. But when men doing a ton of the banging and then bring the woman on top and then he still does the thrusting, it's lopsided. Like I said you don't see the reverse of that or I'm pretty sure pretty rare, though fairly common for men to do all that and then some.

[MissMonstaz]

If you're talking about the majority of it is the guy thrusting, then I don't know about that since I've never been with a man who does that. Usually I'm the one doing all the work when I'm on top. and I just personally prefer bouncing, feels better to me but I also thrust. I completely agree with you though and know what you mean. As a woman, I've tried to thrust while i'm on the bottom cause it adds more pleasure but ya, it is obviously something very rare. but the thing is, a lot of men compare to women do like to be very dominant and want to be in full control. So I feel like the guys who do thrust while the woman is on top are the type who are just dominant and want full control. And in that position, they get to see a different view of the woman's body compare to like doggy or missionary. but that's just what I think cause I really don't know lol

[brennanhuff]

I think it is that, but it's silly. I mean they get a good view of her ass in doggy style plus can be dominant there and it's sure of a hell lot easier thrusting doggy style than for a man on the bottom thrusting when a woman on top. It's a reason the person on top is usually seen as male or female dominant, because there's less room and ability to move from the bottom thus more likely to be tiring than moving when on top. Like not just the weight of the woman but gravity too a man has to deal with as far as thrusting. Whereas none of that in doggy style. Yeah it's weird it seems like a dominant man would do most positions other than woman on top. And has her on top for the view, but the point is for her in control and he's working harder thrusting up too. It's like if a man has her on top, the point is her doing most of the work because there are plenty of ones where they are male dominant.

[brennanhuff]

Yeah it doesn't seem like women are that aggressive often and if they are, the smart men that are with them are probably in a committed relationship with said women ha. It is interesting though because even some women are are more dominant than other women or more aggressive, I don't recall too many trying to take over from the bottom despite that. But I wonder how much is men not allowing it or just how men and women throught media, social, porn, etc conditioned about roles during sex and things that would cross a man's mind doesn't or wouldn't as a result to be that aggressive because how men are socialized. But shit, I did see one porn where a woman did take over from the bottom, she fucked the dudes brains outs. She didn't have to worry about getting tired though as poor lady made the guy not last that long ha. She was stll ready to keep going and he cum before not that long from her fucking him good from the bottom.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, my boyfriend only does that if my legs give out or I have to stop and breath. And even then it's a "Keep going" or "Hurry up" thing. So it usually ends up with him changing the position and taking control again.

[brennanhuff]

which makes sense if a woman is tired or a man wants to take control. For him to flip her over and go missionary or doggy. But to try to dominate from the bottom, when it's easier to do so in the male dominant positons doesn't make sense. Like the point of woman on top is for her to take control. If a man wants to take control it makes sense for him to go in the other male dominant positons. And it has to be really tiring to thrust up that long if a woman is on top because you would have to hold her hips up and thrust up. Which thrusting upwards is more tiring than thrusting downward as a man has his woman's weight and lifting his own body weight up to thrust up because of gravity.

[Opinion Owner]

I agree, I think if he ever did it when I wasn't tired I'd be annoyed, but he normally doesn't. Too much work, and it's my time to really do a lot of work since in a lot of other positions he's doing most of it. I'm just trying to match the rhythm and meet him there.

[brennanhuff]

Exactly. Like I wonder if some men and boys get this from porn. I've heard a lot of boys that are bad at sex it's because they think what's done in porn is what women like even though in reality it's generally not. The women are porn are actresses, and are paid and often faking their moans and don't get off in it. But since I'm not a swinger and don't want people have sex in person, my observation of what happens can be from videos even though most porn sucks. I'd write it off as just a porn star thing except I've seen amateur porn and like couples banging, exhibition stuff where the dude thrusts up as well so it's not just a porn star thing. And that's my point guys are often doing so many positons, and it would be so annoying seeing it. Like "dude take a break" as a woman would be on top yet he's still doing most of the the thrusting. I think it's a male ego dominance thing, or compensation to feel ultra virile

[brennanhuff]

It's interesting women don't generally have that aggressiveness to them like that. It feels like a woman stands out who likes to take control a lot, yet that's common for many men and then some who even want to take control even when on the bottom. It's less common enough for a woman to do as explained yet see one trying to take control from the bottom. It's weird, I wish some dudes would relax a little and some women be more thrust happy, not literally as much as guys but more so

[Opinion Owner]

It could be that, but I think mostly. It has to do with them not being patient enough or something. Perhaps she's not going fast enough, or they think it's a turn on for her when they thrust up. Or it could even be that it's hard to get out the mindset of constantly doing a lot of the work. So when I time to relax they feel vulnerable or like they're not doing enough. So they try to be active again. I think it's the same reason why some men take over blow jobs and etc.

[brennanhuff]

True, which makes me wonder if part of it is women or out culture that sets that up in the first place. I expect to do more work as a man, but it feels like men and women internalize that men should be doing much more. And maybe it's how women are slut shamed and many ways women's sexualit is punished so making women more inhibited or repressed as society doesn't celebrate a sexually aggressive woman. So both men and women internalize that it's men to do most of the work in bed even though women can be dominant and can do work in bed and be aggressive. If it's in your head, you're less likely to think out of what you are conditioned. Men are programmed to feel they always have to perform and put the effort to be good in bed and judgment there like how women feel they have to look sexy. When it doesn't have to be that way. I don't see why women can't be more aggressive. And I think it is porn influence men

[Opinion Owner]

I think so as well, the love of my life. He's largely porn influenced for the most part. He's been with several women, but he looks at porn a lot. As for myself, I'm not really into porn and I just do what I feel at the moment. So even though he is my first, I'm normally more in control than he is, and he can get upset because he feels the should be doing most of it. But we came to a conclusion that it he doesn't have to do everything to be dominant and it's okay to let me do my thing too. It's shared power.

[brennanhuff]

For example, in porn with blowjobs. A woman can be throat fucked. In porn, the male porn stars are like pistons for crying out loud. So makes me think it's internalized by some boys at a young age that they need to perform or it's a man's duty to always be active, which puts a lot of pressure just like women feel pressure about their body and beauty. I think both should be lessened as I think good communication can help women get the pleasure they want rather than a man feels he has to be a piston like in porn. Sexual women are great but society can hamper that, and I think there would be more woman who would see that women can be dominant and aggressive and be more in control during sex if they didn't internalize things and see they can be aggressive, but just have to have the desire and horniness to be aggressive

[brennanhuff]

shared power is best, I wish both more men and women knew that as it seems it's lopsided often with men feeling they have to take over and women internalizing that they are to be submissive and her role is to be less active. I don't see why sex can't be more equal. I don't expect everything literally 50/50, but like sure as hell closer to the middle than it generally seems to be. Sometimes it seems pretty lopsided for reasons I explained

[Opinion Owner]

I agree fully, it is really sad to see it being so far away from a common ground.

[brennanhuff]

Yeah, sex would be a hell of a lot better for both men and women. Both let culture, media, peer pressure and influences like that decide what they should do and dictate it. But what that does is take men and women away from thinking for themselves and to enjoy things they might otherwise enjoy if they weren't brainwashed or felt they had to act or do certain things based on what they see and because of their gender. Thanks for your insight, it was interesting and informative.

[Veronica101]

I agree with you

[brennanhuff]

I say if a man tries messing up your temp, you either sit your weight onto his hips which will stop him from moving and get the point or you bang him harder and he's like whoa and you show you're taking over regardless of him trying to sabotage your control ha

[Anonymous]

I do this most of the time when she is the one on top which is usually a rare thing as I do not like women on top positions.

Did it mostly because most of the girls that I did a woman on top position with didn't get mine deep enough and towards the end I wanted it faster.

[brennanhuff]

So when you have the woman on top the few times you do, it's because the woman you're with wants to because it gets her off and you do it for her? That would make sense with you not doing it often and why I asked it because I would wonder why if the man is dominant. Why he would have the woman on top and if he wants to dominate or take control, why it tries jack hammering from the bottom when he could just flip her over missionary or doggy and pound away and it's a hell of a lot easier to fuck harder and longer in those positons than being on the bottom, As it would seem it would be hard to go too long thrusting from the bottom as you have her weight and you're lifting your own weight up to thrust and less space. It seems like definitely more work doing so than male dominant positions because of going against gravity when on the bottom. Thanks for the explanation

[Bennoir]

A because brotato

but seriously, it's kinda because I find it easier than flopping around like a seal during missionary

[brennanhuff]

You like letting her do the work, but more because you flop around like a seal? What's wrong with your hips and why are you flopping around? lol. Do some sqauts or hip thrust excercises. You a terrible dancer?

[Bennoir]

No I mean it's nice to let her take control, and it's nice to have the break. But I will still take over if she's tiring. It's also because I can move my hips faster than she can ride :S I do need to do some exercise. And I am a terrible dancer!

[brennanhuff]

It's weird that missionary wouldn't be easier though. If she's tired, I would think flipping her over would let her rest and you would take better control and it be less tiring. It would be tiring pretty fast thrusting from the bottom with her on top as you have her weight and even if not her weight, going up against gravity and lifting and bending your weight up from the thrusts. Much easier to go harder and longer on for man on top. Unless it's just for a quick time befor she regroups. I've seen some where dudes just do it regardless of the woman needing a break or most or the whole time she's on top which is head scracthing and annoying to me. Yeah a lot of women can't ride that fast which is true. Many aren't put to task to get good at it though I think some positons can set it up where she can thrust faster or harder though. Cowgirl could more tiring and harder for a woman to go as fast.

[brennanhuff]

So as expected too, some of it as women not being able to go hard. Sometimes I think it's also women being able to ride better. I don't have that problem with one's that know how to ride and hard. But it does seem like an issue as I've seen countless questions on here with women asking "how to ride" or it's tiring, or they can't do it right or guys' saying how a woman doesn't really ride that hard, etc

[Bennoir]

I find it easier when I'm on my back, and comfier too, and because I can plant my feet firmly on the bed which lets me thrust easier. It also helps because I have a habit of getting cramp on my feet, so that helps to stop that. It could just be that the women I have slept with have not been as skilled at riding, so when they take control it doesn't give the same pleasure that you're describing. It's also quite dependant on the overall mood we're in. Sometimes that's just the way it goes

[brennanhuff]

Well at least it seems like you do it more because the riding is not getting you off and she's tired. Which I suspected too, but usually that's for a little bit and then the woman get's back riding. What annoys me the most and maybe a porn star thing, though I've seen it with amateur porn sometimes. Is the dude will fucking bang away like missionary, doggy and pound away forever and all these positions. So he'll finally have the woman on top and you're thining to yourself "oh she's gonna rid him now" and then "oh wait, he lifted her hips and he's jack hammering her" and you're like seriously wtf take a break man. Like I don't get it and find annoyng and where it defeats the purpose of woman on top when she hardly rides and he just basiclaly chose woman on top like it's missionary and to just banging her. I mean we have only a few woman on top positons and we can't even let woman "do work" in those positions? mingya

[Bennoir]

I see what you mean, and it is odd that that is the case. Maybe it's because when the woman is riding it's so much more alluring and romantic which slows the tempo of the sex which is really good fun when it's happening to you, but during porn maybe it's not what's watched.

[brennanhuff]

Seriously, if I saw a woman bang a dude on top hard and like it was reverse and then he was on top and she took over from the bottom. I'd be so jealous of that dude ha. It's not because I'm lazy, because I love taking control and usually will do more of the fucking, but I find women in control sexy and it sucks when it feels like it's lopsided. If a man is doing much more time on top and variations and she's finally on top for a short time and then she gets tired fast and then he still does more of the work when she's tired, that is very lopsided. I think it's why dudes who may not want to commit can change their minds when they find those "gem" women who can ride and ride hard, but also more sexually aggressive than many women. It seems like women like that stand out more or more "gems" sexually than dudes who will get down. I know dudes can be bad in bed for women and there are lazy dudes. But still it seems like women are more likely to be complacement in bed

[brennanhuff]

eh, women can go hard and fast. There are plenty of women pornstars who can fuck as fast as the guys. It's like some macho thing it feels like "how many ways can I show my masculine piston fucking virility" and pound a woman every way I can even if on bottom thing. a lot of porn is so male dominant and more and more seems more aggressive than past generations and it's because they are trying to keep viewers but instead of mixing things up they just go harderd. But I wonder as some say a lot of men, young boys learn sex from porn so try to do things they see, which is why a lot of women aren't always pleased in bed because a lot of guys think that all women want to be jack hammered , when all don't or that's what will get them off. Whereas it often takes more than that to get off

[brennanhuff]

You lift your weight up when on top and see if she wants to move up when you're on top of her and see what her response is ha. She probably likes you to move on the bottom or take over during her break, but probably would look at you funny if implying her to make it fair play ha

[EM9389]

No that is actually pretty fun i do it if say my girlfriend gets tired going up and down she just rests whilst i thrust up and down from beneath her, same experience only this time its the guy not the girl, t works both ways.

[brennanhuff]

Why don't you just flip her over then? It's easier to thrust and less tiring in missionary or doggy. Those are male dominant positons. Dudes can't even let a woman take control or be dominant even when she's on top. Like there's already like a hundred man dominant positons dude. I just think to myself "like take a break" and let things even out a little. Ok so does she buck up if you're ever tired in missionary? Probably not, and that's exactly my point. It's disheartening how lopsided sex is. It's one thing guy's will spend more time and positions on top, which I expect, but then when ones that are where finally, finally she's in control, but not more thrusting from the dude. Like chill man. Women have amazing asses and hips, let them work it more. Dudes are too hump happy and women like not even close to enough apparentlly.

[brennanhuff]

And I'm guess she moves up when you're tired in missionary right? probably not... sex is so lopsided sometimes, but guys settle for it like that and fine with it and many women not trying to meet somewhere halfway. I don't expect women to do more or literally half, but this only proves how lopsided it is. And I've seen plenty of guys say or complain they do much more work in bed than women and then how one sided porn is, just shows this and it seems like even women. The one's who are actually more aggressive can see or acknowledge how a lot of their fellow women are not doing close to as much as men are by the votes that came in from women, not men where it says "I agree with first answer and based on information, etc, sex does seem a bit lopsided"

[alexia18]

I'd like it if he took charge

[brennanhuff]

your man doesn't take charge and you're usually on top? Or you want him to take charge even if he's on the bottom?

[Slve_guril]

I don't know.

[Anon-ymous1]

The issue of control seems to be very important to you.

[brennanhuff]

Well there is so much variety and great things about sex, but damn dudes are hell bent on wanting it to be one-sided, when there could be more sides to enjoy and women part of that too. It's already a bit lopsided but dudes want to make it one sided. It's like being at a fucking buffet, but dudes just want nothing but steak all or most of the time event though there's plent of other good options. And ironic, since, I've seen guys complain or comment how they not just do more of the work during sex, but majority of it. Yet guys'aren't helping that matter when they do this. It gives women who may otherwise want to do more work in bed feel, well guy's want to do all or most of the work since they are trying to take over when on the bottom even. When that's not true for many other guys. Seriously, I don't see women trying to take over from the bottom.

[brennanhuff]

Women have beautiful sexy asses and hips, let them work them a bit more. And let them share more of the fucking and want to do that. I know a lot of women are passive or lazy too, but I think part of it is because women feel or internalize that men are to be aggressive and not them, so women more inhibited and not letting out that sexual side that may open up more aggression and that women can take charge too and be aggressive fuckers too

[Anon-ymous1]

Sure, if they're on top they can be more in control of themselves, why not? It's nice for a change.

[brennanhuff]

yeah, but some dudes are hell bent on letting up at all. They're dominant I guess, but always makes me wonder why even woman on top. The point often is for to be in control and it's more resistance and more work to fuck hard or that long if on the bottom because of the woman's weight and resistance and gravity. Like I've seen it though. A dude bangs a woman a ton of man on top positions, so after that the woman is on top. So you think he's doing it to take a break and for in to be in control but yet from the very beginnng he's thrusting up and it's like what's the point of that if wanting to take control? A man should just keep doing male dominant positons if he wants to keep being in control. It's annoying because you'll think ok she's going to ride him hard and title says that and... nope he's banging her from the bottom. I'm like dudes take a break. You don't see chicks doing this.

[brennanhuff]

I think dudes need to relax and destress on always feeling they have to dominate or control or perform which I think might be porn influencing that a lot. And women to feel that they can be more assertive or aggressive too. Even if a man does more work, women can be more in touch with their sexuality and let go and be more lusty and aggressive. I know both may have that personality naturally to want one side or the other, but sometimes it feels like it's lopsided also in part because of what some guys and women conscious or subconsciously have ingrained in their heads of how they are supposed to be and act, rather then just be and try different things.

[Anon-ymous1]

Well I agree that it's definitely over-the-top in porn. It's better in real sex, I mean sometimes I still take control even when she's on top but also let her do it.

[brennanhuff]

Ok but does she take over from the bottom? I doubt it and that's the point. Cool a woman takes the bottom, but that's the positon for her to be in control. But yet even then guy's will take control from there. So let's put this down. There's doggy style, man dominant, missionary and so many missionary variants, the time and variety. Ok so 2-1 or more during a sex session with male dominant or thrusting vs woman on top. So after all that, ok she's in control finally on top. but wait after all the fucking the guy did, oh wait he's taking control for a little bit again. Ok so lopsided there. Like it's taking away even from the one moment she can be in control when there's already so much time spent and variations of male dominant. She can't even have the whole time in control. You don't see what with missionary. You rarely see a dude missionary, but then she's thrusting back and taking over. (it's harder, but women can thrust up too even if it's harder or takes more effort). And the point

[brennanhuff]

And that's the point it already seems lopsided and this is just making it more lopsided. It wouldn't matter if women were hump happy like that, but not often. So it just pushes the distance apart more and more with men and women. It's sexy seeing women be horny, lusty and sexually aggressive, but some dudes can't even let her stay in control when it's her turn. Like I said you don't see women don't that to men. It's hard enough seeing women go hard, but then I feel robbed when dudes can't let go of control and you don't even see her in control the whole time when on top. It's not that I don't move during sex with her on top. But shit if I'm banging on top, if she's on top, then she's gonna be doing most of the fucking. If she's tired, I'll simply bang her back with me on top. Otherwise, if she wants me to take over from the bottom, I'll put it on her to move from bottom if I'm in missionary ha, hey fairplay. Women have sexy asses, guys let women use them more

[Anon-ymous1]

Fair enough. I mostly agree.

[Anonymous]

I hate it when men do that. How can i fucking concentrate.

[brennanhuff]

I wonder if it's from watching porn. If a man does that I think a woman should sit her weight on his hips so he can't move to give the message, or since it will be tiring for him and he has gravity against him and the woman's weight. If he does that, start riding harder and show him whose boss ha and put in on his hips