Why was he nervous?

Anonymous

I was about to go into bed with a guy. He goes I’m so nervous and chugs vodka. Why would he do this? He also got a boner but never came.

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ushagomez Master
1 y
It sounds like a bit of performance anxiety. Guys seem to put themselves under a lot of pressure and maybe we do too as we expect them to be expert lovers. Perhaps he was not that experienced as well. I’m sure he still enjoyed himself though and hopefully you were able to train him a little.
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- Asker
  1 y
  He kept saying we don’t have to have sex we could just cuddle and do stuff. Which I thought was odd.

Most Helpful Guys

noamazia Xper 5
1 y
it's normal.
think about it this way: he might have felt pressure of needing to satisfy you so its the same kind of feeling as if he was taking a test. the more he likes you the more he would fear rejection. the vidka is just a way to stop his brain from being able to think of anything except the matter in hand. and not cumming is the same thing. being nervous will do that to you.
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- noamazia
  1 y
  also, about a man not cumming: just like women we need a few factors to be in good condition (but our 'error' tolerance is higher): we need to be aroused mentaly (be attracted to the person or situation, in front of us or in our mind), healthy condition (headaches, fatigue, diet, etc.), mental state (depressed or stressed), alcohol and drugs (can improve mental state but it can directly prevent erection or ejaculation) and physical stimulation (if we ain't getting it, we ain't feeling it)
- Asker
  1 y
  He got a boner quickly. While I gave him a bj he was moaning my name. Then he asked me where I wanted him to cum. I told him my breast and it never happened.
- noamazia
  1 y
  ill tell you the truth, it could be anything. maybe he became nervous or his stress just prevents him from cumming. maybe he just isn't attracted to you physically. or it might be a lack of emotional connection maybe he has a health issue like diagnosed performance issues that have nothing to do with the situation. if he was just some dude you have no relationship (or almost none) with then you have nothing to do. last time i hooked up with some girl for a one time thing, i also had trouble in that department. and she could do nothing, i had to wank my self off inorder to cum but if it's someone you have a relationship with, then all you can do is not pressure him. just show him that to you it doesn't matter, that you like him either way, and if he want's help or is worried about something then you are there to listen. in anycase, none of it is actually because of you, its because of him or someother factor that is beyond your control.
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- Asker
  1 y
  We’ve been talking for quite a while and he is attracted to me. This all happened in the dark which I thought was odd that he wanted the lights off. I felt like he seemed frustrated but he never jacked off to finish he just went to bed.
- noamazia
  1 y
  is he experienced in bed? im not talking about not being a virgin, but actually haveing some experience. maybe he has somekind of expectation and he doesn't know what to do when it doesn't get fulfilled. or maybe he already knows what is wrong and is ashamed of it. either way, if you like him, then just act normal and show that you like him. and when the time comes, reassure him and ask if there's a problem and if you can help in some way. do it in a way that so he understands that it ain't no one's fault, but you can solve it together. i think that is the best way you 2 might be able to procceed forward.
- Asker
  1 y
  He has apparently had girlfriends in the past of 2 years. So I guess he’s experienced. Him being in the dark was off maybe body image issues? I don’t know. Since this situation he has been fairly distant. I messaged him to ask why he has been distant and he said, ‘no, no reason’. I feel like he’s hiding something or embarrassed
- noamazia
  1 y
  you're right, sounds like he's embarrassed, don't push the subject. he will come around when he'll feel like it. in the meanwhile, suggest some fun activities just for the fun and being in each other's company. go bowling, surfing, gaming. whatever you 2 enjoy. show him you are alright with him without any pressure. not much else can be done.
- Asker
  1 y
  Yea I agree. Thank you !!
- noamazia
  1 y
  well, good luck! hope it works out for you. and i would appreciate it if you could tell me if i was wrong (i would like to learn if my advice is sound and that im not misleading others)
- Asker
  1 y
  No you were definitely on point. I do feel like the guy and I are over currently. But I will keep u posted. Thank you!
summiter Master
1 y
The vodka won't help. Maybe finish him off with a handjob.. guy love them. Is he a normally shy guy? Was he a virgin?
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- Asker
  1 y
  He is not a virgin. He is sometimes shy

Most Helpful Girl

bones_20 Yoda
1 y
It’s fairly normal for someone to feel nervous before having sex. Especially if it was his first time or first time with you.
The second part was probably most likely due to the vodka.
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