Sexual Relationships
1 mo

Why won't anyone take my virginity?

Im 32 and a virgin i just want to get it done with and lose it but every guy I've ever liked claims they don't want to hurt me... Im so desperate i feel like just going on tinder and finding a one night stand even though i want a connection. Im not pretty infact im fat I've been trying to lose weight and have lost a bit but i still have a long way to go... Masturbation makes me feel worse i feel like a complete loser. I've never dated or been in a relationship either... My self esteem has dropped to nothing over the years because i feel so worthless cause of this. Therapy doesn't help and neither do meds. Im a nice person and my crush tells me how awesome i am... He just doesn't want to take my virginity... No guys do...

Also don't comment with religious crap please.
0 0

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • One of the reasons why a lot of guys will be resistant is because even if you tell them that you are just wanting to get it over with, whether you realize it or not, you will probably fall in love with whatever guy takes your virginity, and when you do, then you will be desperate for him to be with you, and you'll have a strong urge to be clingy and needy for him. Since that's not what he signed up for, he won't want that - but he knows if he goes through with it, that's what's likely to happen.

    For this reason, I strongly recommend that you find a boyfriend first - someone who wants to be in a relationship with you and who will stick around after you have sex. You will want that, even if you don't think you will now.

    in my opinion, if you have approached a bunch of guys and been shot down, you have been chasing guys who are out of your league. If I introduced you to 100 random single men between 35-40, after spending 60 seconds with you, I asked them to rate you from 1 to 10 as a relationship partner, what do you think the average rating would be? You don't need to answer me here, but you should have a realistic estimate of your own level, and that level is determined not by you, but by the opinion of men. What number would most men give you, realistically?

    Once you have that number, then you need to ask yourself: what does a MAN with that number look like? What kind of jobs will that man likely have? What kind of income, lifestyle, and looks will he have? THAT is your level, and that's who you should be seeking. If you reach above your level, you won't be taken seriously, and you increase the likelihood of being used - and not necessarily just for sex.

    If you want guys from higher levels, you must become a higher level in the eyes of men, based on what men care about. Here's a hint: your education, career, and income are meaningless - guys don't care about those things. Things that do give you points: being feminine, being cooperative, being peaceful, being fit, and being friendly/sweet. You already have a low body count (zero), so that's a plus in your favor.

    I realize it's more work to find a relationship partner, but you will be FAR better off in the long run if you do this, and even if your man isn't as handsome or popular or wealthy as the man of your dreams, you'll be far happier with an average man than you will be alone.

    • I don't like older men tbh. That 35-40 kinda made me cringe. I guess nice and sweet guys are out of my league sadly... Im already about to just settle because no guys i like want me... So since nice and sweet guys are out of my league ill look for what i really deserve guys that'll abuse me physically...

    • You're being defeatist and feeling sorry for yourself. You don't deserve an abusive husband, but you aren't going to get the young, handsome, popular guy with the great job either. You're going to have to lower your standards. Yeah, you might be able to get more handsome-but-abusive guy if you let him abuse you, but is THAT a solution? Would it be so terrible to accept an average-looking guy making an average income, who treats you well? OR, you could work on improving yourself and thus be able to attract a higher quality of man. You're still not going to get the really attractive guys, because they'll want younger girls, but they could still be a higher level than the ones you can get today. But, yeah, that's going to take work and effort. If you aren't willing to do ANYTHING to positively improve your own outcomes, then, yeah, you shouldn't expect a good outcome. Nothing in life is free. If you want it, you have to work for it, and you have to make good choices. Even then, you won't be successful every single time, but your average rate of success will go way up.

    • Look i could care less about money job and popularity im not into big dumb jocks. I prefer interesting sweet and kind guys. And those are who i go after. I like the guy for him nothing more. I refuse to date older guys because im not going to be the one left behind when they die... i wouldn't handle it good and would end up in a asylum from my depression spiking... If the interesting sweet and kind guys are out of my league than that's crap... I've been working on my weight but i doubt ill lose 250 pounds in the time frame i want. I want love before 35 or im either giving up hope or settling for what i truly deserve a horrible person.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Look i don't know you and never seen you but I'm sure you are beautiful of you are fat just lose your fat and when you get slim believe me many men approaches you. I don't know how do you judge me but if you live near me I wil date you for sure. Or we can talk on DM if you want. Just don't give up.

Most Helpful Girl

  • The fact that you’ve never dated or been in a relationship is difficult for me to process. Why is that? Does no one show interest or does insecurity hold you back? Are you ever proactive and ask someone out yourself? Solving that issue is key to solving your sex issue. Decent guys aren’t going to want to take your virginity just to do it, especially if they think you’re nice. Users and abusers do that kind of thing.

    • No one shows interest I've asked guys out many times they all reject me. I want love but guys i like don't like me in return.

    • I’m so sorry things haven’t worked out. Everyone deserves love. I only ask because I know guys who say the same things you’re saying….. no one wants them, they’re overweight or not attractive enough. It always makes me wonder why it’s so difficult to get people together. I wish I had a solution for you. Have you tried legit dating sites maybe?

    • Yeah everyone leaves me on read after looking at my profile.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 13

  • Not looking attractive is the main issue here, not the virginity, many guys value virgin girls.

  • You don't have to advertise it.

    Dates are like credit cards, you can only have them if you don't need them, so fake it until you make it.

  • Ever thought of maybe trying to work on your physical appearance

    • Like i said I've been working on my wait i can't change my face

    • You don't need too, but you do realize that desperateness can be unattractive to people and some people can pick up on that, one more thing, you'll never find happiness chasing after lust

  • Where do you live? I’ll take the job.

  • Don't give up you'll find someone if you keep looking.

  • Hire a gigolo or stripper, but I think you want to put more effort into it.

    • First, you should get in good shape and lose the weight. If you DON'T love you, NO ONE else will! And if you DO, YOU'LL get TONS of offers!

  • You need to be treated for depression.

    • Pills and therapy never worked.

    • There are other therapies that might help you.

  • You are not sexy, so males avoid you

  • I will over and over again

  • I have never been with a virgin text me

    • Um no im not hooking up with a guy that's 15 years older. Yuck

  • Hmm I want to see you, can I?

  • are you saying you have never had a boyfriend? an unexpected case for a woman in her 30s

    • No i haven't because im always rejected im trying to drop weight but its going to take a long time to drop it without health issues starting or a lot of sagging skin.

    • The only women that find a guy are thin tbh

    • have you tried online dating or dating apps?

    • Show All

  • 😆😆😆

    • Whats so funny?

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