Why won't my man go down on me?

I have been with him four a year and five months and prior to our relationship we fucked on the side for four years or more. I mean it ain't like you know we haven't been intimate. He tries to say it's cause of his ex girlfriend she started her period one time when he down on her and now I don't get it but I HAVE TO BLOW HIM EVERYDAY AND ANYTIME he asks but I mean I like doing that for him but I feel as tho it ain't cause of his I'm 26 and he's 48. He always has something bad to say about himself but I don't see it.. I mean look at me... Is something wrong? I'm very clean
Why wont my man go down on me?
0 6

Superb Opinion

  • It has nothing to do with you. He doesn't like giving oral, to anyone, and he's just making excuses. He's selfish (demanding oral for himself) and he's not being honest.

    But you also have some responsibility for this, because you've known about this for a very long time, and you accepted it, and if you think anything is going to change NOW, after all this time, you are crazy.

    Men, for the most part, DO NOT CHANGE. On the rare occasions they DO change, it's only because they, themselves, deeply decided that they wanted to, and are willing to do the work to change. Changing for someone else is almost unheard of.

    As a woman, your job is finding a man who is ALREADY acceptable for a long-term relationship, meaning he ALREADY has the right morals, values, and attitudes that you are looking for, because THEY WON'T CHANGE. A man is not your project, to improve and fix up to your liking. If you can't accept him as he is - for the LONG TERM - then you end that relationship and move on until you find someone you can accept - even if that means lowering your standards in some areas.

    I don't agree with his attitude on this, and I think he's being selfish and unreasonable, but I also know that he's unlikely to change. Even if he did change - in that he started going down on you occasionally - you can bet he wouldn't do so with the enthusiasm or effort that you'd want, and it wouldn't be any better.

    So, you need to make a decision: either accept him as he is and stop trying to change him (which also means: stop complaining about it and accept that it will never change), or you break up with him and find someone who is a better match. And, yes, that means you need to weigh all of the OTHER things you DO get from him - things that you might not be able to get from another man. Would you trade those things to get oral? Only you can make that decision, but don't take it lightly, because if you break up with this guy, you're unlikely to be able to go back.

    This is why it's so important to vet someone UP FRONT, and not wait until years down the road to decide that something is a problem for you.

Most Helpful Guy

  • If I'm honest? Probably nerves. He sounds like he struggles a bit with self esteem- that's something he needs to work on but it sounds like you support him in that- so that's good :)

    If you are clean, then great! But the only other reason I can think why is because of that.

    The other reason is just a little pathetic but I KNOW guys who say this. It's because it hurts. Particularly if you're on your back and he has to prop himself up on his knees when he's face first into you. He is also probably really worried about not giving you an orgasm, so he's flapping his tongue less like he's trying to pleasure you and more like licking an ice lolly. Direction is key- don't be shy about telling him where and what to focus on, compliment him whilst he's doing it- and the first time or two fake it whilst he's learning! Honestly it's the best feeling when I've made my partner orgasm- not because it's a bragging right, but because I want her to enjoy it!

    So yeah- direction, encouragement, passion. That's it :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • He's just being selfish. Maybe he did have a bad experience, or he just thinks oral is gross, or he doesn't like it because it doesn't bring him pleasure. But it's fucked up that he expects you to blow him whenever he wants and refuses to do the same for you, that's pure selfishness.

  • Guess it's because of that trauma he told you about

    • boohoo 🙄

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 66
  • You definitely going to have to ask him because I look at you and I say I don't understand I don't get it either so you're going to have to ask him I can't even guess

    • I appreciate that

    • Well whatever you do don't blame yourself that's the last thing you should do that's all it's all on him that's his choice I definitely don't understand it but yeah don't blame yourself because then you'll take your mind someplace else that it doesn't need to be just be happy and smile and it's his b Loss is way that I see it

  • Nonsensical... who knows why?

  • He didn't like it doing it, in the first place, but he likes receiveing, that is SELFISH! I wish to meet that woman, that facesit's me, or grabs my hair and dips me in, and she grinds until she climaxes in my mouth...😈😈💦💦😍😍👅👅

  • Stop fucking blowing him, you apparently dont like it because you saying its bullshit that you do and he dont.. Or find another guy. He shouldn't be with a girl who wants her pussy eaten if he dont like too and saje goes for you. shouldn't try to change people to a certain extent. Im sure his ex has started her rag while he was fucking her or she's prolly threw up giving him head, shit happens and if thats his excuse then he's catching feeling still. he's ain't much up to be man. Men just dont stop eating pussy, and if you were fucking while he was with someone. What do you think will happen now you the one he's with?

  • So, you're telling me that this 40yo guy has been smashing since you were 18, or below? I'm sorry, the numbers aren't adding up.

    People won't do things that they don't want to do/ enjoy, and don't have to do. I don't like eating vegetables, but I know I have to; so, I make the effort. Clearly, he gets everything he wants from you without having to go down on you; so, why would he? He probably just doesn't enjoy it?

  • He has the life.

  • No matter what anyone says going down on someone is not for everyone.

    Last time I went down on a girl after dinner and was holding myself back from puking it would have been horrible.

    If a girl bled on his face i don't see him ever coming back from that. You don't have to blow him but if you enjoy doing it it shouldn't be something you bargain with. That being said it's up to you what you wanna do but if he doesn't like going down there's nothing you can do

  • Sounds like he's just a narcissist and doesn't want to do anything that doesn't give him maximum instant pleasure.

  • He's 48. He's not going to change.

  • Stop blowing him then , if he can’t go down on you then you don’t go down on him , He is only thinking of himself and not caring about your wants and needs and pleasing you , I hate to break it to you but you are with the wrong person if he isn’t caring about pleasing you , a relationship only works if both partners value each other , and sacrifice for each other , when it turns into a one way streak then that relationship will fall apart and resentments will set in because 1 partner is only caring about themselves , He is 48 years old banging a 26 year old , I am shocked that he doesn’t want to please you honestly

  • Do you ever taste your pussy juice? If you're all hot and horny, dip your fingers in and see what you taste like. If it tastes fine then I don't have an answer for you. Evidently you got traumatized by some bad pussy

  • Make him lick it or don't let him stick it

  • He needs to adjust his expectations or you will find someone younger.

  • Tie him down and ride his face. Let him enjoy how good that will be.

    • Never even thought of that good idea

  • Because of that stupid filter your using,

    out of all seriousness pussy taste like piss so I don’t blame them at the same time I don’t blame women for not wanting to go down on guys, why would you want to put your mouth on someone piss hole that’s nasty

  • Stop sucking him then! Maybe you can use it as a tool to make a compromis.

    The second option is that you meet me and I would go down for you anytime you want 😂👅🤭

  • I’ve met guys who don’t like it, but he is being very unfair if he expects you to blow him frequently while never returning the favor. Maybe you should tell him from now on you will only keep doing that if he goes down on you once a week at least.

  • Because it smells like a sweaty armpit

    • No you smell like a sweaty arm pit. Take your negativity off my mf shirt

  • There sure isn't anything wrong with you. Stop the bjs until he does what you want first.

  • Maybe he just doesn't like the flavor or sensation? Just because a partner doesn't want to do some particular sex act doesn't mean it's an issue with you.

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