Why would a guy find sex boring?

I have asked him what I can do better but he says he tells me he doesn't know why he finds sex boring.

He seems like he really wants to then looks unsatisfied, I am very into it and I feel him out, tease, touch him, so on. I give him visual teases as well to start him up but once we become intimate he cums to fast or he lasts but doesn't enjoy it. I try to shift positions once in a while to keep it interesting and when he likes the position we are in he tells me or makes it clear with his moans, but the end result is he was not satisfied.

He tells me he really enjoys himself with porn but its boring with us, could this be a ED or Sex dysfunction issue? Is it me? I am honestly clueless at this point, its hard to know when he seems to not know himself.

Any guys had these issues or can relate?
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • Could be sexual performance anxiety. Some other reasons why he might prefer masturbation:

    No anxiety when one masturbates (other than the risk of getting caught if that is an issue in the relationship). Often anxiety is a big part of what comes from partner sex: anxiety about how I smell, how my body will perform, will my body perform, does my partner like me, my body, how my body reacts etc. For many people, unfortunately, relationship sex is filled with so much anxiety that it is not enjoyable
    A person is tired and masturbation doesn't require the same level of effort, both mentally and physically to perform
    It is not painful. For both men and women, relationship sex can be physically painful and the inability to resolve the pain or effectively discuss it with their partner leads to the desiring relationship sex less or avoiding it
    A person is bored
    A person is bored with their relationship and wants to play out a fantasy in their head
    A person is stressed
    Because they like it
    They don't have to worry about getting rejected by their partner
    Their partner is sick, has their period or just doesn't want it when the partner does
    They want to do it quick or don't have the time required for relationship sex
    Their partner is traveling or away from their partner
    It's convenient, like in the shower in the morning or evening
    It is their best attempt to remain faithful to the marriage because they are really unhappy and don't have anyway to resolve marital conflict outside the bedroom
    They do not desire the kind of sex they will have with their partner
    It's fun
    They want to indulge in a fantasy that they are: too afraid, embarrassed or fear rejection from their partner to share with them
    They just want an orgasm and they know how best to get there in the fastest way possible
    To learn more about their own body and what they like and how to reach orgasm

    • He definitely has performance anxiety and seems to be really self conscious about himself. I honestly don't understand why other then him mentioning that porn makes him think he is inadequate and sex is not spontaneous like porn but he also is not open to new things. Even though the porn seems to allow him to last as long as he likes its really messing with his ability to have sex with me but I don't know if that could be the full story. He has said its just easier and less anxiety but I love having sex with him, his touch makes my tits horny and him entering me is great but he also feels like his dick is too small and wishes it was bigger. I don't know what to do at this point.

Most Helpful Guy

  • He's desensitised his pleasure centres with porn. This can be a problem with long term porn usage, as time goes on the user seeks out more and more extreme porn to satisfy the need and to get the same endorphin response. The end result is little stimulation to real world scenarios.

    • I asked him if he could take a break from it to see if maybe it could improve sex with us and we can see what works to allow him to last longer but he says its to hard to stay away from and not use. He tends to go limp while in me when he started out hard, I don't mind but I think it makes him really insecure.

    • If he can't step away from it for even a short time hemore than likely has a porn addiction. It's becoming more common in the younger generation and he should seek counselling from a counsellor who specialises in addiction problems. Some counsellors don't acknowledge the existence of pornography addiction so it is important to verify that they do treat it beforehand. Some of the signs of porn addiction are: A person’s sex life becomes less satisfying. Pornography causes relationship issues or makes a person feel less satisfied with their partner. They ignore other responsibilities to view pornography. They view progressively more extreme pornography to get the same release that less extreme porn once offered. They feel frustrated or ashamed after viewing porn but continue to do so. They want to stop using pornography but feel unable to do so. They use pornography to cope with sadness, anxiety, insomnia, or other mental health issues. Any of this sound familiar?

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 8
  • It has nothing to do with you it's all him I can tell you away that would get him so excited and they can pre come before you even get started

    • Sure, I'm always looking to try new stuff.

    • Yes I absolutely love that and I tried to do that each and every time I have sex I don't like it being the same at all with any other time LOL there are so many different cool ways to make love have sex fuck screw information about making it all about the girl I want her to feel my energy every touch

    • I can tell you away if you want but you have to send me a private message or add me so I can send you a message

  • I have not had those issues, but I think your guy is trying to figure out his sexual desires, and maybe he does have low testosterone or something like that. At your age, he should be jumping to shag.
    So, either he figures this out with his doctor, or you need to find a guy who has the same sexual energy that you do, otherwise it is going to be a long unsatisfying relationship for you.

  • sounds like a porn addiction... and that's all about him, is not about you

    • I have asked him if he thinks that is the case but he is back in forth with defending porn in a way that even makes it sound irrational, he would say its him not porn that he can use it once in a while but he can not ever stop using it. He blames his feelings towards anything and everything but if it ever came to the porn he would get defensive. I just want to have a good sex life with him I don't know why this has become such an issue, I am a very kinky person in general but I don't know if trying harder will just push him away. :(

    • it is definitely an addiction... and like I most addictions that are severe... it would be beyond your reach and also beyond his control, what he needs is therapy with a professional, and that... is up for him to decide, and for what you just said, it sounds like he will not want it... porn will be first and second for him, and perhaps third... unfortunately, that's how addictions go now, I don't know if he's your boyfriend or your husband or how long the two of you have been together, but... I do not see how it can get better for you, with him... so you might want to reconsider all things here

  • Tell him to stop watching fckn porn. Fucks up the sex. Have him lay off for a week and notice a improvement in his erections

  • I wouldn’t tell her that sex is boring, that’s hurtful. If she wasn’t into trying new things I would just suck it up and just be sexually frustrated all the time but stay with them because you love them.

  • The way you cum and reach it is different with porn and sex. If he was a virgin before you he probably just needs to find out how the best way to cum with sex is for him.

    • I think this is true, he never really explored much past pulling out or pausing. He seems to get frustrated pulling out. He can be pretty stubborn though since I try to suggest some things but just shrugs it off as something he just has to get used to or he simply avoids sex. It honestly sucks. Yes he was a virgin and i'm his first sexual partner with anything.

  • it's not that sex is boring; he's boring

  • Everbody are differents. Likes, pleasures, wants etc.