Why would she unmatch me on tinder suddenly?

[James112]

We were flirting, talking about what turns each other on the most, what each other’s fantasies are, what we would do together etc. she asked me what I’d do to her in this scenery, then she says I shouldn’t have asked you that it’s too soon with a naughty emoji. So I respond with what I’d do to her and it was like a porno scene how I explained it. Then she just unmatched me a few hours later. Why did she do that we were both enjoying this flirty, back and forth sexual tension. She was actually into me and I didn’t get any of her socials so I don’t know who she is I’m actually sad. She did say she was on the heavy side but I said haha no way your body is so sexy.

[Anonymous]

I think you came across as just looking for sex. You have the right to be confused, as she was carrying on with you as well, but you probably took it too far, dude. In the past, I’ve been in her shoes and made the mistake of engaging in dirty talk, then thinking better of it and remembering that I wanted something real, not just sex. She could’ve had that moment of realization too, especially when she told you it was too soon. You should’ve acknowledged that and steered the convo in another direction. Instead, you took it upon yourself to write out a whole porno scene. That is a turn off and unattractive after she asked you to slow down. Anyway, there’s nothing to be done about it now, she’s moving on and you should do the same. All I can really suggest is to approach your next match with some healthier questions and hold off on the sex talk (flirting doesn’t have to turn into sexting).

[James112]

Thanks that is understandable I probably did take it too far. But she was the one who started talking like that so I just matched her energy. I actually am looking for more then just sex but it’s like we didn’t get to talk about that yet.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, and she was wrong for doing that. It’s possible though that she’s so used to it, that she doesn’t know how NOT to incorporate that into the conversation. Which if that is the case, is sad and she shouldn’t be trying to date, but instead work on inner healing. Anyway, I’d say with the next girl, just don’t go so hard about the sex talk. If she takes it there, then reel it back in, steer the convo back on track.

[James112]

It’s so hit and miss talking with a girl on tinder though so I don’t want to be boring. Once I get a girl talking I try to match what she’s saying to build a connection. If she’s talking sexually and I just ignore it and bring something else up she’ll be like ohh well that’s not much chemistry. I really hate though when you match and a girl doesn’t talk at all, doesn’t even respond to your message.

[Opinion Owner]

I definitely get where you’re coming from, but maybe it’s better to play it safe and not venture off into talking sexually too soon. You say you want a deeper connection than just sex, so on your end, what’s the point in getting straight to the sexual stuff if you want something more than that, you know? Build a healthy connection, feel free to flirt but not letting the convo venture off into naughty talk too soon.

[James112]

But if I try to connect on a deeper level they’ll just think I’m boring.

[Opinion Owner]

Not all of them, dude. The ones who think you’re boring: why would you wanna talk to a girl who only wants sex anyway? There’s no loss there.